Will The Mean Girl In The Room Please Stand Up? The Adult Bullies In Our Lives..
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years it is that people rarely change, and never truly grow up. Sometimes I sit in meetings and look around the room and see little kids, trapped in big bodies, pretending to be adults. It is funny and sad all at the same time.
Every childhood is filled with a “mean girl” or bully. Maybe you were the mean girl and bully, or victim, or witness. Unfortunately, mean girls and bullies follow us throughout our lives, but they disguise their tactics better.
Crazy enough, sometimes there is a reversal of fortunes. Years later the once bullied gains power through position or money, and becomes the bully. The mean girl can come in the form of your HOA president, head of the PTA, your spouse, and even your boss.
As adults, we know that bullying behavior is unacceptable, so it can often be veiled and hard to pinpoint at times. It is frequently passive aggressive, and can come in the form of back handed compliments, or outright insults. In the workplace, according to studies, men are primarily the bullies. But unfortunately women go hard after other women.
The mean girl in the workplace does under the radar wickedness. She uses her position to sabotage, which is usually subtle so it can be hard to prove. Especially given her position, she will be given the benefit of the doubt if accusations are made. The mean girl will also engage in exclusion, intentionally leaving some out of events. The mean girl is petty and pathetic, but is she you?
I frequently ask myself if I am the mean girl. I try not to be mean, and really do not like hurting others feeling. I am very blunt and direct, and if I have an issue with you you know it, and why. I limit interaction with people I dislike. I cannot stand the mean girl who actually think she is a nice person. So how do I describe myself? Bitchy, yes. Cold sometimes, yes. Out to take you down? Only for the good of the cause.
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely - Lord Acton