The Science of Attraction and Compatibility

Have you ever wondered why you are attracted to some people and not others? You find him handsome, but your bestie says he is just meh. Or how about the reverse? Why do some guys find it hard to take their eyes off you while others never give you a second glance? Well, science may be able to answer those questions for you. Let’s discuss the science of attraction and compatibility.

The Biology of Attraction

Our biology may play a significant role in determining what physical features we find attractive in others. Pheromones and hormones all play a part in how we view physical symmetry in positive and negative ways when finding mates. A pheromone is a chemical that animals produce, which changes the behavior of another animal of the same species. Pheromones can trigger behaviors, and is known as behavior-altering agents.

Some studies have shown that for humans it’s all about smell. Our olfactory receptors can detect odors and smells on a subconscious level. Smells that you are completely unaware of. Just take a man’s perspiration for example.

By a man’s sweat, a woman may be able to detect a man’s testosterone level, which may make her crave his sperm and want to mate with him. It is a very primal reaction.

Although the pheromone effect in nature is known to trigger behaviors such as fear and mating in animals and insects, the effects on human behavior are more theory and continue to be studied.

The Psychology of Attraction

Have you ever met someone for the first time and been instantly attracted to them? I know I have. But after being around them for a period of time the attraction lessened and in many cases went away altogether. While there have been other times when you have met someone and did not immediately find them attractive, but over time, and after getting to know them, you suddenly find yourself very attracted to them. That is the psychology behind attraction.

Familiarity, proximity, and personal connections all play a role in attraction. Their sense of humor, their intellect, and their kindness all work together to shape how you view them and can contribute to your attraction to them.

Also, as you get to know someone you may find you have shared interests and values and likes and dislikes, which may increase your connection and your attraction to them.

Compatibility Beyond Attraction

Physical attraction is based on physical appearance, and how attractive you find another person. Physical attraction is about a pretty or handsome face, or a nice figure or sexy body. You desire them. You want them. You like the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, and even the way they smell.

Attraction may lead you to someone but compatibility is what will ultimately keep you together and invested in the relationship. Once at this stage, emotional intelligence and emotional compatibility will come into play. Do you want the same things in life and envision a similar future? Do you have effective communication skills? And more importantly, are you two able to discuss and resolve issues? All of these attributes or lack thereof will determine your compatibility.

The Neuroscience of Love

The human brain is extremely powerful and when it comes to love and attraction, the brain does not hold back. The brain gets activated when you find someone attractive. Your pupils dilate and your system will release dopamine giving you a euphoric sensation. It’s a glorious feeling but it will eventually pass.

Once the dopamine highs pass and you have fallen in love, you must continue to build your connection through continuous interactions. Spending time together and sharing experiences grows your connection and your love.

During this time, you will also start to build trust and to feel physically and emotionally safe with your new love. Trust is a crucial element needed for a healthy, lasting relationship.

Finding Your Perfect Match

In order to find the right person for yourself, you need to have a good understanding of who you are, what you want, and what you need in a relationship. Self-awareness is a must. Your ideal man may be six foot two, has washboard abs, and is athletic, but ask yourself if this person is really someone you would be compatible with. Not likely if you are sedentary, love junk food, and hate the idea of going to the gym.

Instead of looking for a mate who is not compatible or attainable for you, focus on finding someone with shared values and interests. Similar lifestyles, values, and goals are key to finding your perfect match. And don’t be shy about being proactive in finding a mate.

Remember, finding love and happiness can be a journey but it will be worth it in the long run. Just be sure to love yourself first, don’t settle, and enjoy the process.

Now that we have discussed the science of attraction and compatibility, please share your thoughts, suggestions, and experience.