The Stranger In Your Bed...How Well Do You Really Know The Person Sleeping Next To You?

The Stranger In Your Bed...How Well Do You Really Know The Person Sleeping Next To You?

When people are in relationships, and in love, we think we know our partners well. The reality is you know them as well as they want you to know them. They pick and choose what information to share and divulge. It is not always a matter of deceit, but sometimes they don't find some things relevant enough to share, but you might feel differently about the intel they choose to withhold. Other times they fear your judgement, or just want to avoid conflict.

The truth is we don't know ourselves all that well either. We are still growing and changing, and managing to surprise ourselves on occasion. Have you ever done something or said something, and later questioned your behavior? You could not explain why you did what did, or said what you said. Ever feel conflicted about what you want, whether it's car, a person, or what to have for lunch? So if you cannot truly answer for your own wants and desires, how can you claim to know what your partner wants or thinks? Your answer might be "well they told me what they wanted or felt".  Well, there has to be a certain amount of openness and trust in any relationship, but the desire to please, and not to disappoint is often present as well.

I am surprised how often people seemed to not truly know their partners. I've seen individuals behave one way with partners around, and completely different when outside of their presence. Is it that they are a complete phony? Maybe. Or is it that they fear showing their true self because that is not who the partner fell in love with? I guess that is one way to end up with a stranger in your bed. Denial is another way to end up with a stranger. You choose not see what is right in front of you, and then write your own narrative to provide a more comfortable "reality".

How well do you think you know your partner? Have you put them on a pedestal so high that they fear showing you their true self, and falling from grace in your eyes? Remember, love is acceptance, not excuses, and denial. 

People dont' want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Nietzsche

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