Faking Happiness...Are You Making Yourself More Miserable By Pretending To Be Happy?
They say fake it until you make it, but does that really apply to unhappiness? Does it apply to going through tough situations in your life such as marital problems, financial struggles, or issues at work? Most problems when not addressed immediately tend to grow, and snowball into bigger issues.
The truth is, faking happiness will not make problems miraculously go away, or fix themselves. The reality is that maybe some issues are beyond repair, but how would you know if you do not face the problems head on?
The Avoidance Of Admitting You Are Unhappy
So why do we sometimes choose to not address problems in our lives? Avoidance seems like a great idea, but that is all that it is, avoiding. The tough decisions, and difficult discussions will eventually need to happen. Your happiness will still be in jeopardy, decision or no decision. The perfect life you imagined for yourself will start to look more distant, as you continue to bury your head in the sand.
In fact, avoiding may actually create more stress and anxiety. When you avoid problems and conflict, the issues build and become bigger. The stress of repressing your feelings increases, and a blow up, in some form is likely to happen. A weight will be lifted, and you will be able to breathe again. Pretending to be happy is like holding one's breath. You can only do it for so long before your body gives out.
5 Signs You Are Faking Happiness
You Live In The Past
You were happy once, and so you focus on, and talk about the past as if it were the present. You constantly worry that others will realize that you are unhappy, so you discuss times when you were happy, and when you were in a better place.
You Work Hard To Show Others How Happy You Are
You are always posting pictures of your vacations, bragging about your fabulous relationship, and showing off all of your material things. Anything to prove to others how happy you are, and perhaps illicit a little envy as well.
You Have Lots of Highs and Lows In Your Mood
When around others, and showing off or bragging, your mood tends to be up. But when away from groups or by yourself you often feel sad, or not good about yourself, or your life. You are up and down, but never really just content.
You Drink, Gamble, Or Shop Too Much
Sad people tend to have a vice. Drinking and shopping are great distractions from the unhappiness in your life, and can provide temporary highs, and feelings of satisfaction.
You Are Always Tired
Sadness is exhausting, and so is faking happiness. It takes a lot of mental and emotional work to put on a show all day everyday for others, just to hide the fact that you are unhappy. But you do it, day after day, hoping one day it will be real happiness.
The Stigma Of The Imperfect Life
Do you worry what others will think of you if your marriage fails, your home gets foreclosed on, or you do not get that promotion? Living your life for others will prevent you from finding true happiness, and fulfillment. Besides, what’s the point? What is gained by having to always put on a happy face and façade for others? Do you really think you are fooling anyone?
People see through the act, and are more aware than you know. You will find that when you remove the mask and live your true life, instead of worrying about what others will think of you, you will likely feel a huge weight has been lifted. I do recommend that when and if you feel comfortable, that you try talking to a trusted friend, family member, or a counselor. Yes, it is personal stuff, but you should not go it alone. Allow others to be there for you, and to support you.
Did you know that pretending to be happy is actually a warning sign of depression? I am not a therapist, or a counselor, so I am attaching a link to a great article. My advice is for you to be honest with yourself. Are you pretending to be happy? If you are, confide in someone.
Always remember it is okay if everything is not perfect. It is okay to be disappointed in how some things have turned out. It is okay to be sad. What are your thoughts on faking happiness? Please share your story or experience!
I hide hurt behind a fake smile. I wear it all the time. Everyone says how I always look so cheerful. Shows what they know I guess. - Ellen Hopkins