A lot of crazy, sad, and surprising things have happened this year. There are big problems facing many people, from illness and death to job loss and financial ruin. The struggle is real, but so is online bullying and narcissistic behavior.

Social media plays a major part in many lives, especially for celebrities, those who want to be famous, and millennials. Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram can provide a great platform to share your talents, quirks, random thoughts, and smokin hot selfies, but what happens when the feedback from friends or strangers is less than flattering?

It’s no secret that celebrities are often bullied on social media, oftentimes for, well let’s be honest, just for being famous. Bullying is not cool at any age, whether you are five years old or fifty years old. Hurtful words hurt.

But my question is, is some of the rude or nasty backlashes some receive online easily avoidable? The term shaming is used for any negative comment received, often after your own online sharing of personal business.

Mom shaming and body shaming seem to be the most common forms of shaming I see online. You want to post pictures or videos of yourself breastfeeding, or using formula to feed your baby then have at it, but expect people to have an opinion because you opened that door.

Sure, the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” always applies. But on the other end of the spectrum, to quote Mohedesa Najumi, “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”

Two Rules To Live By For Online Behavior

When it comes to social media there is are two schools of thought for me. The first is, your negative thoughts or opinion does not need to be posted to someone. We are all entitled to our opinions, but is it really necessary to tell someone that they are fat, ugly, talentless, or stupid? Probably not. No real purpose is served by cruel, although honest in your opinion, words that make people feel crappy.

The second thought and the biggest lesson of all is to expect criticism online. If you put your life on display, whether it’s vacation pics, relationship photos and intel, or sexy or shirtless pics, then you should expect to be scrutinized, and maybe have your feelings hurt.

Do you think your friends, family, and followers really want to see selfies of you every day? Maybe you are seeking validation in the form of compliments and likes, but not all responses will be flattering or what you want to hear.

I am of course not condoning saying hurtful things to strangers or anyone online, but I am realistic. Some may be jealous or just plain old mean, while others may find you annoying or a conceited braggart. With the Internet, a person can be as anonymous as they want to be, sitting at home behind their screen. You control what you put out there in the social media realm, but you cannot control how people react once it’s out there.

At the end of the day I say do what you want, but be prepared for the consequences. If you don’t share enough, then you are boring or elusive and will not get as many followers or likes. Share too much and you are a self-centered narcissist lacking in self-awareness and desperate for attention.

Sometimes there is no winning in the social media game, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to play or not.

What are your thoughts on online shaming and attention-seeking behavior? Do you think it’s okay to say whatever you want to people online who share their lives with the world? Are you a big sharer or do you keep it private? Please share your thoughts and experience!