Narcissistic Behavior 101 - 5 Narcissist Traits To Recognize

Narcissists are…well, they’re narcissistic. With a narcissist, it is about them all the time. Everything revolves around them, at least in their mind.

The term is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was a very handsome hunter who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. He sat in that spot, staring at himself until his death. Odd, right? But the point is that someone so in love with themselves will be oblivious to everything else around them.

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.

5 Signs of A Narcissist

Inflated Sense of Self

Narcissists think they are the most valuable player, the MVP, of whatever they do. No one else is better. No one else is more deserving. And they are sure to let you know this “fact”. Not only is this mentality not factual or rooted in reality, but things can also get problematic when they are faced with defeat or not the chosen one.

They are sore losers and will tear others down to build themself up. It’s not them, it’s you.

No Respect for Boundaries

It is all about them. They want to see you, they want to talk, then they should be able to do so, regardless of your plans or wishes.

You’re busy at work or in class? Too bad, they need to vent. You’re tired or don’t feel well? Oh well, they are not going to the event alone or canceling.

They don’t respect boundaries. They will trounce all over them and still demand more because they are selfish and greedy.

Needs To Be the Center of Attention

A narcissist expects to be the center of attention all the time. Why? Because they are the best looking and the smartest, most charismatic person they know. How could everyone not be drawn to them and want to hear what they have to say.

They are doing the world a favor by just existing.

Fragile Ego

Talk about big babies who are easily offended. If you decline a date with them or break up with a narcissist you will feel their wrath and be told that you were never worthy.

Their ego cannot take any rejection or feedback that informs them they are not perfect. It is never their fault and they will not hear otherwise, unless it benefits them to use it as a tool for manipulation.

Lack of Empathy

A narcissist lacks empathy. If it does not serve them, they don’t care. Their feelings come first. Their needs come first. And your feelings, thoughts, and needs are not their problem regardless of how many times you may have prioritized them.

Narcissists are known to be brutally “honest” and downright cruel at times and will expect a thank you for just speaking the truth. A truth they would never tolerate directed at them.

After reading this list, you should recognize the traits of a narcissist, and likely a few narcissists in your life. Narcissists are toxic, draining, and suckers of joy. They are people who you may not want in your life.

What are your thoughts on the traits of a narcissist? Any dealings with a narcissist? How did it go? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” ― M. Scott Peck

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Is It Shaming or Attention-Seeking Behavior Gone Wrong?

A lot of crazy, sad, and surprising things have happened this year. There are big problems facing many people, from illness and death to job loss and financial ruin. The struggle is real, but so is online bullying and narcissistic behavior.

Social media plays a major part in many lives, especially for celebrities, those who want to be famous, and millennials. Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram can provide a great platform to share your talents, quirks, random thoughts, and smokin hot selfies, but what happens when the feedback from friends or strangers is less than flattering?

It’s no secret that celebrities are often bullied on social media, oftentimes for, well let’s be honest, just for being famous. Bullying is not cool at any age, whether you are five years old or fifty years old. Hurtful words hurt.

But my question is, is some of the rude or nasty backlashes some receive online easily avoidable? The term shaming is used for any negative comment received, often after your own online sharing of personal business.

Mom shaming and body shaming seem to be the most common forms of shaming I see online. You want to post pictures or videos of yourself breastfeeding, or using formula to feed your baby then have at it, but expect people to have an opinion because you opened that door.

Sure, the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” always applies. But on the other end of the spectrum, to quote Mohedesa Najumi, “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”

Two Rules To Live By For Online Behavior

When it comes to social media there is are two schools of thought for me. The first is, your negative thoughts or opinion does not need to be posted to someone. We are all entitled to our opinions, but is it really necessary to tell someone that they are fat, ugly, talentless, or stupid? Probably not. No real purpose is served by cruel, although honest in your opinion, words that make people feel crappy.

The second thought and the biggest lesson of all is to expect criticism online. If you put your life on display, whether it’s vacation pics, relationship photos and intel, or sexy or shirtless pics, then you should expect to be scrutinized, and maybe have your feelings hurt.

Do you think your friends, family, and followers really want to see selfies of you every day? Maybe you are seeking validation in the form of compliments and likes, but not all responses will be flattering or what you want to hear.

I am of course not condoning saying hurtful things to strangers or anyone online, but I am realistic. Some may be jealous or just plain old mean, while others may find you annoying or a conceited braggart. With the Internet, a person can be as anonymous as they want to be, sitting at home behind their screen. You control what you put out there in the social media realm, but you cannot control how people react once it’s out there.

At the end of the day I say do what you want, but be prepared for the consequences. If you don’t share enough, then you are boring or elusive and will not get as many followers or likes. Share too much and you are a self-centered narcissist lacking in self-awareness and desperate for attention.

Sometimes there is no winning in the social media game, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to play or not.

What are your thoughts on online shaming and attention-seeking behavior? Do you think it’s okay to say whatever you want to people online who share their lives with the world? Are you a big sharer or do you keep it private? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

The term narcissist seems to be thrown around a lot these days, but that doesn't mean the label doesn't necessarily apply to some people. I am not a psychologist, and perhaps you are not either, but I think it is important to recognize what is unhealthy behavior, and avoid it when possible.

So what exactly is the medical definition of narcissist you might be thinking. I think many of us have our own ideas or definitions of what a narcissist is, but the meaning is actually pretty straight forward.

A narcissist is defined as a person who has an excessive interest or admiration of themselves. For a narcissist, it is about them all of the time.

To have a narcissist in your life can be painful. They are self-centered, selfish, and take far more than they give. Your wants, needs, and feelings are rarely, if ever, taken into consideration. Statistically far more men than women are narcissists, approximately 50 to 75 of those diagnosed are men.

5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

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Appearance Is Everything

A narcissist is very focused on their looks, their clothes, and even the looks and clothes of those they surround themselves with. They are very jealous and envious individuals. The narcissist wants to always look good, be the center of attention, and to be admired.

They Are Braggarts

A narcissist is a name dropper. If they know or have met a celebrity, they make sure everyone is aware of this fact. They tend to have the most expensive clothes, shoes, cars, and jewelry they can afford, and love to share the cost of everything.

They Cannot Take Criticism

A narcissist can be very insensitive, self-serving, arrogant, and dismissive, but don't try telling them that. If they hurt your feelings, or treat you in an inconsiderate or unkind manner, they are more likely to gaslight you than they are to admit fault.

Its Always About Them

A narcissist always has time to talk about themselves, or celebrate their special occasions. Unfortunately when you need them, they cannot make time for you. If it is not about the narcissist, it is not of interest to them.

They Have A Sense Of Entitlement

In the mind of a narcissist, they are deserving of everything they want, regardless of whether or not they have earned it. They believe that they are special, and that they should always come first. The narcissist has an inflated sense of self, and often takes advantage of people.

The moral of the story is that you are not going to change a narcissist, but it is a diagnosable condition. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is real, and treatable, but I do not recommend breaking your own heart trying to cure with love. The cause of NPD is not completely known, but genetics, environment, and early life experiences are believed to be contributing factors.

Do you have experience with narcissists? Did they get help and get better, or did you give up and move on? Please share your story or experience! 

“Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They're emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God's creations because they don't show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.”  - Shannon L. Alder

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