The Appeal of the Slow Burn Romance... In Television and Real Life

If you are watching The Bear on Hulu or FX, you likely have an opinion on the relationship between Carm and Syd. Are they just good friends or are we watching an epic slow burn unfold before our eyes? While fans are split, I feel certain that the chemistry between the characters and the actors makes their relationship a memorable slow burn romance.

I am a total romantic, and nothing gets me better than the slow burn romance. The slow burn is the unexpected budding of romantic feelings between two people over a period of time. The slow burn relationship usually starts off very platonic, and then like a switch something changes.

The slow burn theme is very common in romance, suspense novels, and television series because the build-up and the "will they, won't they" question create excitement for the readers and viewers. The slow burn romance can be friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I find them both intriguing.

And then there is the correlation to real life, and how the slow burn seems to be the recipe for long-term happiness and relationship longevity. Friends can and do become lovers and romantic partners and these relationships are the strongest. For shows with agonizing romance, here is my list of television shows with stand-out slow-burn romantic chemistry.

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Slow Burn Romance In Television

• Carmy/Sydney - The Bear

• Lucifer/Chloe - Lucifer

• Any Vampire Series

• Lan Mondragon/Nynaeve - The Wheel of Time

• Marian/Larry - The Gilded Age

• Phryne/Jack - Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (Epic Slow Burn)

• Archer/Lana Kane - Archer

• Rick/Michonne - The Walking Dead

• Jim/Pam - The Office

As much as the slow burn appeals to many people, the actually consummation seems to be a buzz kill. Many shows lose their steam after the slow burn couple gets together. Is it because the slow burn is fantasy and romantic, but with a relationship comes struggles.

Is it possible some of the relationship pitfalls and struggles can be avoided if the transition from crushes to lovers is handled carefully?

The slow burn is special because the foundation of the relationship is not based on appearance or sex, but genuine fondness and chemistry that grew into more. There is an internal switch that is flipped and a dynamic shift in the relationship. The scary thing, and the undeniable hotness about the slow burn, is the build-up. The build-up of wanting more, and suddenly wanting each other.

Over time, the desire for things to be out in the open is there, but there is also an element of fear.  A fear that maybe you will not live up to each other’s fantasies. A fear that you will be disappointed, or even worse, that you will disappoint them. Highly unlikely with the slow burn chemistry, but still a very realistic fear.

I have had experience with a slow burn, and I would use three words to describe the feelings: complicated, intense, giddy. It catches you by surprise, and then it becomes all you can think about. 

I truly believe that the slow burn flame never goes out. It may not always burn with the same intensity as it did when first ignited, but depending on those involved, I firmly believe the smolder is there to stay.

What are your thoughts on the slow burn? Any slow burn experience? If so, did you go for it or stay put? Please share your story or experience!

“Hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Rekindling A Romance...Should You Fan Old Flames?

Life and love have lots of ups and downs and tend to leave many people wanting a do-over. If the Hallmark channel has taught me anything, it is that returning home and high school reunions are for rekindling old love and romance.

If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Some old flames needed to be put out, but others burned so hotly that years later the embers still smoldered. There are pros and cons to rekindling an old love. As time has passed, you may be remembering more of the good and forgetting a lot of the bad.

If you are considering reigniting an old flame, here are the pros and cons to consider.

Pros Of Reigniting An Old Flame

It’s Familiar

No matter how much time passes, you never forget your first love. Coming back together years later may feel like coming home. The relationship feels familiar and comfortable, and comforting in many ways. You came back together and it was like you were never apart.

It’s Feels Good

Somehow the rekindling of an old flame takes you back in time and makes you feel all giddy and silly again. The excitement and passion are crazy. You have been transported back to being that gushy twenty-something girl who doodled his name over and over again.

You’re Both Different

Whether it has been ten years or twenty-five years, you have both grown and changed. The relationship ended for a reason in the past, but people can change, and perhaps the obstacles faced before are no longer an issue.

Cons Of Reigniting An Old Flame

Both The Same

While some things change, other things also stay the same. Yes, you are both older and hopefully wiser, but you are basically still the same people. Perhaps once you get past the newness of your old relationship, old issues and problems will resurface.

Your Lives Don’t Mesh

You may have reconnected at a reunion or on Facebook, but you live thousands of miles apart and your lives don’t fit together. You both have responsibilities and neither are capable nor willing to just pick up and leave your current life to chase a possibility.

Unrealistic Expectations

While you were once the hot “it” couple, neither of you was perfect, but you may be remembering things differently. You may be disappointed to find that you no longer share the same interests, that they are not as attractive as they used to be, and you may not actually be compatible anymore.

At the end of the day, I think many of us would love a do-over with a lost love. Whether you choose to give it a go should depend on why it ended the first time and if the current man or woman before you seems worthy of a second chance. If they have a history of abuse of any kind I say absolutely do not let them back in your life but otherwise, I recommend going for it. If your heart is open and you are available, what do you really have to lose?

What are your thoughts on rekindling an old flame? Romantic or ripe for disaster? Please share your thoughts and experience!

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. - Pietro Aretino

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The Slow Burn Romantic Chemistry...Hot Or Hot Mess?

I am a total romantic, and nothing gets me better than the slow burn. The slow burn is the unexpected budding of romantic feelings between two people over a period of time. The slow burn relationship usually starts off very platonic, and then like a switch something changes.

The slow burn theme is very common in romance and suspense novels, and television series because the build up, and the "will they, won't they" question creates excitement for the readers and viewers.

Plus, there is the correlation to life, and how the slow burn seems to be the recipe for long term happiness and relationship longevity. 

Here’s my list of television shows with stand out slow-burn romantic chemistry.

FEATURED VIDEO

Slow Burn Romance In Television

• Mulder/Scully - The X-Files

• Ross/Demelza - Poldark

• Any Vampire Series

• Jack/Kate/Sawyer - Lost

• Lady Mary/Matthew - Downton Abbey

• Phryne/Jack - Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (Epic Slow Burn)

• Archer/Lana Kane - Archer

• Rick/Michonne - The Walking Dead

• Jim/Pam - The Office

As much as the slow burn appeals to many people, the actually consummation seems to be a buzz kill. Many shows lose their steam after the slow burn couple gets together. Is it because the slow burn is fantasy and romantic, but with a relationship comes struggles.

Is it possible some of the relationship pitfalls and struggles can be avoided if the transition from crushes to lovers is handled carefully?

The slow burn is special because the foundation of the relationship is not based on appearance or sex, but genuine fondness and chemistry that grew into more. The scary thing, and the undeniable hotness about the slow burn, is the build up. The build up of wanting more, and wanting each other.

Over time, the desire for things to be out in the open is there, but there is also an element of fear.  A fear that maybe you will not live up to each other’s fantasies. A fear that you will be disappointed, or even worse, that you will disappoint them. Highly unlikely with the slow burn chemistry, but still a very realistic fear.

I have had experience with a slow burn, and I would use three words to describe the feelings: complicated, intense, giddy. It catches you by surprise, and then it becomes all you can think about. 

I truly believe that the slow burn flame never goes out. It may not always burn with the same intensity as it did when first ignited, but depending on those involved, I firmly believe the smolder is there to stay.

What are your thoughts on the slow burn? Any slow burn experience? If so, did you go for it or stay put? Please share your story or experience!

“Hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

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