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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Dread...What Responsibilities, Tasks, And Chores Do You Avoid Or Try To Get Out Of?
The topic of dread comes to mind because once again I am up for jury duty. Yes, I am aware that it is my civic duty, but as it seems that I am called upon about every 18 months, by both city and federal, I am over it. I have served on three juries in the last five years. Sounds like a bit much, right?
The dreaded is really "to each his own" because there are chores I find joy in that others hates. Take for example cooking. I love to cook, and I would only dread it if I am feeling unwell.
I also love to garden, but it can be a lot of maintenance, and miserable if you don't get out in the morning before the day gets too warm.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at, life is full of the "musts". You must pay your taxes. You must follow laws and rules, whether you agree or not. I always tell to my kids, "agreement is not necessary but compliance is".
You must show up if summoned for jury duty. You do not however, have to clean your house, or do laundry, or wash dishes. But who wants to live like that?
People dread doing many things. Based on complaints from friends, family, and coworkers over the years, here is my list of the most dreaded:
Mondays
Public Speaking
Going to DMV
Holidays with the family
Dusting/vacuum
Traffic
Meetings
Paying bills
Going to the doctor/dentist
Doing dishes
Honestly, there are bigger things in life to dread other than chores, but why go there. We know what they are, and I wanted to keep this blog light. What things do you dread? Is going to work on that list?
There are some positives to all these tasks and chores, and they are cleanliness and structure. Unless of course you don't like those things.
April Fool's Day...What's So Funny About It?
I was born on April 1st over two scores ago, and as far back as I can remember someone has tried to play an April Fool's joke on me. They felt that it being my birthday and all that I was especially deserving of some sort of prank or trick. I never found the jokes funny, and I never found any sort of appreciation for pranking people in general.
Annoyance aside, the whole tradition brought about a lot of questions. Why this day? Where did this "April Fool's Day" originate?
I started my research and found that the day itself seems almost to be some sort of prank. There are theories of its origin, but no definitive answers about where this day for making someone feel like a fool got its start.
To be fair, the pranks are supposed to be harmless and in good fun, but someone always takes it too far. There are many theories, and one is bound to be close to truth, I suppose.
One theory that stood out to me was the Roman holiday "Halaria". Hilaria was usually celebrated at the end of March and people dressed up in disguise. Even more interesting than all of the origin theories is that April Fool's Day, also called All Fool's Day, is celebrated all over the world, which I think is actually pretty cool.
Now, no one has attempted an April Fool's Day joke on me in years. I think that perhaps they realized they were more likely to face my wrath, than they were to hear a laugh.
Do not get me wrong, I enjoy a great joke and good natured teasing amongst friends and loved ones, but there has always been something about pranks that seem innately nasty, and overall mean spirited.
Honestly, I have to admit there is one great benefit to having your birthday on April Fool's Day. No one ever forgets your birthday. My birthday is a day my friends and family always remember. My birthday was wonderful today, with lots of well wishes coming from all over the country, and the world. I hope your April Fool's Day was wonderful as well.
Bad News... How Do You Tell Someone Something You Know They Don't Want To Hear?
It is hard being the bearer of bad news, and too often the old adage "shoot the messenger" holds true. There is some news that must be shared, such as a death. But other issues such as an illness, cheating, or a betrayal of sorts, can wait or possibly, never have to be shared.
Of course there is always room to argue whether or not some things should ever be revealed. Should you ever tell your friend that their partner is cheating or a big liar? I guess it depends on the friend, the friendship, and the impact you think the information could have on their life. Some might say you should mind your own business, but this blog is about being there for your friend, and giving them difficult news.
I think that once you decide to tell someone bad news, some planning is required. You will need decide the when, the where, and the how. It is very important to know what you are going to say, and practice a couple of times if possible. Provide as much detail as possible, and allow the receiver of the news to ask questions.
Here are some additional recommendations for delivering bad news.
Do It In Person
Do It In A location That Allows For Privacy
Be Empathetic
Praise Them, A Betrayal Is Not Their Fault
Remember You Are Not The Bad Guy, You Are Doing This For Them
Allow Them To Have Their Reaction, But Remember Initial Response May Be Shock Or Denial
The most important thing to remember when delivering bad news is to make the receiver feel supported. Whether they realize it or not at the time, they will need others to lean on to get through a challenging time. Remember to be a good friend, sister, daughter, or partner.
At some point in time, we are all the recipient of bad news. Hopefully, we are all fortunate enough to have someone to lean on during those times.
How do you give bad news? Are there some things you just would not want to know? Is ignorance bliss?
My Lazy Saturday...I So Needed It!
Despite it being a Saturday, I was wide awake in the wee hours of the morning. Unable to sleep any longer, I got out of bed and headed down to make coffee. I sat quietly sipping coffee and reading. I always cherish my quiet hours, since most other hours of the day are spent with lots of noise, requests, and questions.
Once the family was up, we decided to go for an early morning swim. The swim was wonderful, and relaxing, but also very exhausting. My energy levels were low even before we went swimming due to lack of sleep.
Plus, I am clean eating all month, and probably need to up my caloric intake. We were done swimming by nine thirty, and then it was time to head out for our usual trip to Trader Joe's. I loaded up on fresh flowers for the house, and some other goodies as well. Last stop of the morning was Jamba Juice, for my favorite Berry Upbeet smoothie. Yum! Then back home for a long nap.
After napping I did a little laundry and packing for an upcoming trip, while I had Bates Motels on in the background on Netflix. I have been binge watching the series, and I am almost caught up to the current season.
Once I wrapped up with packing, I headed out for a short walk with my youngest daughter. Once we returned, I got dinner started, and hung out with my family. After dinner we played Yahtzee and listened to eighties music.
I will end my night with a nice bubble bath, with lavender oil, in hopes of a good night's sleep. My stress levels are very high right now so if I had to guess, I will be back at it early again tomorrow morning with coffee in hand, enjoying the silence. TTFN
Cyberstalking...Are You Guilty Of It?
The thought of cyberstalking sounds insanely creepy. The concept of stalking period is creepy. One usually stalks with the intent to catch eventually, right? Like an animal in the wild, watching its prey, learning its patterns, and waiting for the right moment to strike.
After all, timing is everything.
Human beings are not much different than animals in the wild. We all carry with us some basic, predatory instincts. It is our nature. Humans are also curious creatures, which can lead us to some "light" cyberstalking.
Maybe you start peeking at his Facebook, and Instagram postings. You debate messaging him, but you don't. Instead you slowly gather intel about him from the Internet. Is this stalking?
Some might say so, but you believe it's harmless. Others might say you are just being smart in finding out everything you can before initiating contact.
In all seriousness, cyberstalking is a growing problem. There is so much information readily available on the Internet, and then you add in social media, and we are all very exposed.
True cyberstalking is a crime, and involves harassing and stalking someone through email, instant messaging, and social media. But let's be honest, even if you never make contact, deep down you know you are being a little creepy.
I admit that I have definitely looked at an exes online info. Can you blame me? If I were a single woman, a guy would be smart to go through, and read my blogs. He would learn a lot about my likes and dislikes, and most importantly, the fastest way to my heart.
Unfortunately this could lead to a pretender, a guy who tricks me into loving them because we just have "so much in common". I always hope for authenticity in people, but I know to a degree, that I'm forever vulnerable because of my blogs.
Let's face it, we have now become a society of over-sharers and voyeurs. Which are you? Do you consider yourself a bit of a cyberstalker? If you are, what do you hope to gain from it? Nothing, some sort of advantage, or someone's heart? I hope you at least know why you are doing it.
There Is Always Room For Happiness...Add Some More To Your Life
Life is short, and in reality becoming shorter every day, which is why it is so important to find your happiness. It is very easy to get caught up in the day to day crap, and fall into a cycle of doom and gloom.
Trust me, it happens to me too. But I also know how to find my happiness. Happiness is defined as a quality or state of pleasure or joy. Happiness is whatever makes you feel good.
I derive so much happiness from spending time with my family, but honestly sometimes it just has to be about me. Everyone, even moms, deserve autonomy sometimes. A time when you are just a man or a woman.
A time when I am just Charlene. During these times I find happiness in quietly reading a book. I find happiness in fantasizing and writing my own book. I find happiness gardening. I find happiness cooking. I find happiness in long walks, and even long stimulating talks.
Happiness is there for you. Maybe you already have it. Maybe you lost it, or perhaps you never had it. Maybe going shopping makes you feel a little happy, but ask yourself is it really shopping that makes you happy? Or is it spending time with your friends? Or looking at pretty things? Or being out in the fresh air?
Here are some simple things that bring happiness
Hold A Kitten Or A Puppy
Make Out Like A Teenager
Go For A Hike
Volunteer
Flirt
Go Roller Skating
Have A Water Balloon Fight
Go To The Beach
Fly A Kite
Hold Hands
Get A Massage
Next time you need to add some happiness to your life try this little trick. Close your eyes, take slow, deep breaths, and picture your last genuine happy. Find the happy moment or time that made you smile from the inside, and warmed your heart. Only you, truly know you.
Don't be afraid of your happy. It is okay to be a little selfish sometimes.
What are your thoughts on finding happiness? How do you cheer yourself up when feeling down or bring joy to your life? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Need A Laugh? Here Are Some Really Silly Jokes To Lighten Your Spirits
My heart is very heavy today. Today was a dark day and I know I need to add some light. Sometimes if you don't laugh, you cry. I decided to comb the Internet for silly, and dumb in some cases, jokes. I hope you find your heart lighter after reading the silliness below.
Why can't you trust an atom? Because they literally make up everything
Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they're always stuffed
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall
What do computers snack on? Microchips
Two men broke broke into a drug store and stole Viagra. The police were on the lookout for two hardened criminals
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was nice...but the reception was amazing
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin
What kind of guns do bees use? BeeBee guns
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music
What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno business
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? Oh snap
Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad? His mummy
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because there's no point
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents
What kind of horses go out after dark? Nightmares
What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo-Bee
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy
Have you heard the one about the Corduroy pillow? It's making headlines
So there you have it. My best shot at making you smile today. I hope your heart feels a little lighter. It will get better.
Stressed Out...Do Compartmentalize or Let It Out?
It is a special time year for me and for many others. The holidays are here and lots of family gatherings and get togethers. Busy with work, life, and kids and I'm feeling a little more stress than usual. Stress is normal, to a point, and can even be good for you.
Stress can make you push yourself to do better, study more, try harder. Those are the positives. Stress can also make you sick, literally.
I remember the days when stresses revolved around grades, getting picked for something, or finding out if "he" liked me. Such a simpler time. Now life involves many situations and circumstances beyond my control.
Normally I am one for letting it out and being done with it but sometimes that can create more problems than fixes. So what does one do? Bottling up your stress is not good for you.
When I am feeling stressed I tend to get more frequent headaches, feel sluggish, and have knots in my neck and back. Over time I have learned different techniques to manage my stress
8 Ways To Help Manage Stress
Exercise
I do this regularly.
Get Out of Your Head
I have been obsessing about the issue. I know I need to get out of my head.
Get Some Rest
I suffer from insomnia and with thoughts of this issue in my head my sleep is not great.
Visualize Calm
I try and it works, temporarily.
Take a bath
I do this regularly but still can't clear by my mind. The thoughts seem more intrusive in a quiet bath.
No Drinking or Smoking
I don't smoke but I actually think maybe a glass of wine in the bath would help.
Don't Ignore the Problem
Yep I have been doing that.
Don't Eat Feelings
Not much of an appetite actually.
Some situations are out of your hands and beyond your control. But for the issues that stress you out that you can deal with what do you do? Sometimes avoiding a stressful issue seems like a good idea, but not if it is creating mental and physical issues for you.
What would you do? Do you avoid problems or uncomfortable situations hoping they fix themselves or that they will just go away?
How To Have A Relaxing Black Friday
Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving, and traditionally one of the biggest shopping days of the year, as it kicks off the Christmas shopping season. On Black Friday one can find some of the best deals of the year, but they can also find hoards of people ready to trounce all over them for a cheap television.
Needless to say, I no longer physically go out to the stores on Black Friday. I mean why would I, thanks to this thing called the Internet. Here’s how I spent my last Black Friday, and this upcoming one will be no different.
My last Black Friday was pretty lazy and uneventful. I have not braved the mall or shoppes in the wee hours in years. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging. I have just mastered the art of shopping from my iPad in bed.
I am an early riser, thanks mostly to my insomnia, so I am up early enough to catch the early bird specials online that they are also offering in stores. It's quite wonderful actually, with a mug of coffee in hand and the house still quiet.
Once the sun came up I went for a short walk, while the hubby headed to the golf course. Once hubby got back home we started breaking out all of the Christmas decorations and putting up the Christmas tree with the girls.
Yep, we have a 9.5-foot tall synthetic tree with lights already on it. It's really pretty. In the past I found the "real" Christmas tree experience to be overrated and not worth the hassle. But to each their own.
I was exhausted and sore from yesterday's events. So today I treated myself to a two-hour nap! I ate an early dinner of leftovers with the family and saw the hubby and kids off to the movies, and then I ran myself a bath.
While everyone is at the movies, I wrapped a few Christmas presents while alone in the house. The rest of the night was spent in bed catching up on my favorite Netflix shows.
How did you spend your Black Friday? Did you have to work? Did you shop until you dropped? Hopefully, it was everything you wanted it to be. Happy holidays!
What's Your Sign? I'm An Aries...
So I have never been one for astrology but one of my girlfriends' constant reference has peaked my interest. I have always known I was an Aries, which is a fire sign but that is about it. I figured I would do a little research on Aries and see how much seems to be in line with the person I really am.
Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries are leaders of the pack and first in line to get things done. Aries have excellent organizational skills and like to finish more things at once.
The negative is Aries are impatient, aggressive, and vent anger on others. Hmm so far this is eerily close to my personality traits.
The Aries women are fearless and natural leaders. Aries women are energetic, charismatic, dynamic, and love challenges and adventures. They are also extremely passionate and sexual, which makes her irresistible to the opposite sex. I think that last one is up for debate.
Since Aries is a fire sign, my greatest overall compatibility is with the Leo and Sagittarius, which are both fire signs as well. The best sign for marriage with an Aries is a Libra.
My hubby is a Gemini, which is listed as another compatible sign to consider for Aries. Tip for attracting an Aries woman. She craves love but wants to be in a position of control at all times.
Lastly, the strengths and weaknesses of the Aries. Aries are courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate. Unfortunately the Aries is also impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, and aggressive.
Well I think I am a believer and a poster child for Aries. What are your thoughts on zodiacs signs and their accuracy? Are you a believer? Please share your thoughts!