words to video
I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Cyberstalking...Are You Guilty Of Internet Stalking?
The thought of cyberstalking sounds insanely creepy. The concept of stalking period is creepy. One usually stalks with the intent to catch eventually, right? Like an animal in the wild, watching its prey, learning its patterns, and waiting for the right moment to strike.
After all, timing is everything.
Human beings are not much different than animals in the wild. We all carry with us some basic, predatory instincts. It is our nature. Humans are also curious creatures, which can lead us to some "light" cyberstalking.
Maybe you are curious about your high school boyfriend? Wondering how he's looking these days? Maybe you start peeking at his Facebook, and Instagram postings.
You debate messaging him, but you don't. Instead you slowly gather intel about him from the Internet. Is this stalking? Some might say so, but you believe it's harmless. Others might say you are just being smart in finding out everything you can before initiating contact.
In all seriousness, cyberstalking is a growing problem. There is so much information readily available on the Internet, and then you add in social media, and we are all very exposed. True cyberstalking is a crime, and involves harassing and stalking someone through email, instant messaging, and social media. But let's be honest, even if you never make contact, deep down you know you are being a little creepy.
I admit that I have definitely looked at an exes online info. Can you blame me? If I were in the dating market, a guy would be smart to go through, and read my blogs. He would learn a lot about my likes and dislikes, and more importantly, he would learn the fastest way to my heart.
It is smart, strategic, and maybe gives an upper hand to learn everything we can about someone in advance. I always hope for authenticity in people, but I know to a degree, that I'm forever vulnerable because of my blogs. My choice, and I own it.
Here are some things you should not be doing as part of your Internet surveillance. If you are, stop it now. You are being creepy, and possibly breaking laws!
Trying to hack your love interests social media accounts
Creating fake accounts to friend and view their activity
Impersonating them online
Sending numerous emails, direct messages, or invites, including from the fake accounts
You are letting your interaction, or lack of interaction, with your interest via social media affect you emotionally and mentally
The truth is, we have now become a society of over-sharers and voyeurs. Which are you? Do you consider yourself a bit of a cyberstalker? If you are, what do you hope to gain from it? Nothing, some sort of advantage, or someone's heart? I hope you at least know why you are doing it. I suppose sheer curiosity is always a possibility.
5 Beauty Tips For Fighting Dry Skin In the Winter
Winter months and cold weather tends to wreak havoc on our skin. The harsh weather can leave our skin feeling dry, rough, and itchy. To make matters worse, we get to add the unattractive, crackled, prematurely aged skin look that no one is super happy about.
The good news is that with a fews simple tricks you can minimize, or even completely avoid the pitfalls of cold, dry weather. Every women needs a beauty routine, and that routine needs to be adjusted based on weather, climate, and even age. Here are my tips for fighting that winter dry skin.
5 Beauty Tips To Fight Dry Skin
Add Some Humidity - Humidifiers are not just for when you have a cold or flu. Winter weather is very dry. I recommend running a humidifier in your room at night, or at least a few nights a week. It will add some much needed hydration, and help replenish your skin.
Take Warm, Not Hot Showers - Really hot water dries your skin out. Reduce the temp, and you will not dry your skin out as much. The steam from the shower will help lock in moisture from you skin's natural oils, so close that bathroom door for a nice steam.
Moisturize - It is important to adjust your beauty routine as the weather changes. In winter months, my face cream is thicker, and more moisturizing. For the body I recommend coconut oil. Specifically for hands and feet, I suggest adding a nice layer of coconut oil to your hands and feet, and wearing booties and mittens for at least an hour. Do this overnight if possible. Your hands and feet will be so soft. Also try using coconut oil for your hair and scalp. It is wonderful.
Hydrate - Drinking lots of water is important to your winter skin. Your skin is drying out due to lack of moisture in the air, so you need to hydrate it from within. You can also hydrate by eating water rich foods such as cucumbers, watermelon, grapefruits, and lettuce.
Avoid The Cold Wind - Winter is coming, or so they say. Seasons will change, and cooler weather will come no matter. The best thing you can do for your skin in colder months is to stay out of the cold weather, if possible. Just remember that if you must venture out, be sure to wear sunscreen (yes even in winter months), sunglasses, a hat, and a scarf too.
Like all other beauty tips and tricks, consistency is key. Moisturizing occasionally is not going to cut it. Dry skin can increase wrinkles, and nobody wants that. Take care of that skin, and get your winter beauty routine going.
What do you do to combat winter dry skin? Or do you keep same the same beauty routine all year long? Just please tell me that you at least have a routine... Please share!
Confessions Of An Insomniac...No Cure, But A Plan
I confess I am an insomniac. I am used to having trouble falling asleep, and staying asleep. This is my norm. But this past week has been extreme even for me. I am surviving on 2-3 hours a night of interrupted sleep, and really starting to feel unfocused, unmotivated, and unable to gather my thoughts. Surprisingly I am not irritable. Maybe because I am actually too tired to be annoyed, or mad at anyone right now.
Iphone 8
Tonight I am determined to get at least 6 hours of sleep. As an insomniac I know all about sleep hygiene. My doctor has lectured, I mean informed, me that I shouldn't have my iPhone, my iPad, or my laptop near my bed, which of course they all are. But in my defense, the phone is on night mode at 9pm, and I am off the iPad early, and I put my Macbook away no later than 9pm every night as well. I have done the research, and there are literally hundreds of suggestions on the Internet on how to fall asleep, and how to get back to sleep when you wake up. Honestly some of the suggestions are downright bizarre, and I will not be attempting those. One suggestion I will be utilizing is the bedtime alarm clock on my iPhone. You tell it when you want to go to bed, and when you to get up, and it will give you notice that it is time to go to bed. It also wakes you up of course.
I guess the most important factor in poor sleep is identifying the root cause. Like I said, I have always struggled with sleep, but this week is extreme. Am I suffering from some sort of anxiety? I don't think so. Am I stressed? Well no more stress than usual, but with my fuzzy thoughts right now, it's hard to do any real analysis. Once I get some rest I can possibly figure out what caused the disruption.
Okay, so here's the plan. I am starting off with a warm bath with lavender oil, candles lit, and old school Sia playing. If I can't get relaxed from that I am doomed. After the bath all electronic devices go off, and dimmer goes off on the nightstand clock. I will take some melatonin, which is a natural hormone that the body produces that helps control your internal clock. I am going to place a small towel under my pillow with a few drops of lavender oil and 1 drop of eucalyptus oil on it. Next, I am going to lower the temperature in my home by a few degrees. Lastly, I am going to crawl into bed, and focus on clearing my thoughts. Sounds like a good plan, right? Wish me luck...
Are you an insomniac? What do you when insomnia strikes?
Lucid Dreams...Dream A Little Dream, And Then Control It
I have always been quite the dreamer, but lately I am experiencing something completely new to me. I have become aware that I am a lucid dreamer. Lucid dreams are very fascinating to me.
Lucid dreams are dreams where the dreamer is aware that they are dreaming, and may be able to exert some degree of control over the dream characters, narrative, and environment. Sounds pretty amazing right?!
I have been experiencing lucid dreams quite frequently lately. It is not intentional, and I can not actually pinpoint when it started happening. In fact, when I started to research and find out more information about my odd dreams, I found guides on how to actually have lucid dreams.
And then I had the "duh" moments with the realization that one of my favorite movies Inception is based on lucid dreaming.
I realize that the lucid dream concept is very cool to some, and maybe weird to others, and I will provide you with some tips to lucid dreaming if you are interested. I know that in my lucid dreams I feel very aware. I am looking around for people, imagining their faces, and they appear.
I can imagine a place, and suddenly I am there. Surprisingly I do not feel any less rested the mornings after a night of lucid dreaming, than I do on mornings after nights of regular dreaming. I dream just about every night, and I remember many of my dreams.
Tips for Lucid Dreaming...
Be tired when you go bed
Believe you can lucid dream
Sleep in a cool, to cold room
Sleep in a dark room
Push through in your dreams
Meditate
Increase self awareness
Use self hypnosis
Keep a dream journal
I hope you find these tips helpful. There is a lot more information out there on lucid dreaming. This is not junk science or a hippie concept. If you have the ability to dream, then you have the ability to have lucid dreams.
In all honesty, I basically go to bed tired, and can lucid dream. I am now able to do it more frequently because I know, and believe that I can. You can do it too. It's really cool what we can do with our minds. You just need to relax and believe it.
What are your thoughts on lucid dreaming? Does it sound weird, cool, or scary? Are you able to lucid dream? Please share your thoughts, your experience, and your recommendations!
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allen Poe
Favorite Color...What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?
What is your favorite color? Everyone has a favorite color. We love certain colors because of how they make us feel, thoughts they bring, and even how they make us look.
Most of us never really think about why we like a certain color, and if asked to explain the preference one might actually struggle for an answer.
I know when my daughter asked me why I loved my favorite color I found it almost indescribable, because it was a feeling.
I am drawn to my favorite color instinctively, picking paint colors, clothing, and decorations without even realizing the similarities.
I find the psychology behind our favorite colors so fascinating I thought to dedicate a blog to the topic. I want to break it down by colors and what those colors say about those who love them.
I am going to use the primary colors, as well as a few others I believe to be very popular.
Here’s What Your Favorite Color Says About You
Red
Much like the color red, you are vibrant. You have a zest for life, and live it to the fullest. Red lovers are also very passionate and determined.
Blue
Those who favor blue are reliable, confident, and strong. Much like the ocean, blue lovers can be calm, cool, and stormy, but they value stability above all.
Orange
Much like the red lover, the orange lover is bold, friendly, and outgoing. They are also cravers of attention.
Yellow
The yellow lovers are knowledge seekers and generally happy people. They are intelligent and love to learn new things.
Green
Inspired by nature, the green lovers are consistent, loyal, affectionate, and generous. This color lover places high regard on self-worth and reputation.
Black
The black lover is artistic, moody, strong-willed, and determined. They can also be demanding, and somewhat closed off to others.
So there you have a very simple breakdown of our color preferences and a description of how that color preference may reflect who we are as individuals. It seems a bit odd and makes sense to me all at the same time. I find that the color analysis is spot on for me.
You will often find me wearing black. Black is simple, classic, slimming, and goes with everything. It is a close second to my favorite color. In case you are wondering my favorite color is blue. I like many shades of blue, but I prefer a rich, dark blue with a slight hint of gray.
What is your favorite color? Does the color analysis correctly describe your personality? Please share your thoughts!
“Blue has no dimensions, it is beyond dimensions, whereas the other colours are not … All colours arouse specific associative ideas, psychologically material or tangible, while blue suggests at most the sea and sky, and they, after all, are in actual, visible nature what is most abstract.” – Yves Klein
Vivid Dreams...Why Do We Have Them?
I have always dreamed a lot. I suppose many people do. But lately my dreams are more vivid, more frequent, and very memorable.
I am notoriously a terrible sleeper, so I usually take melatonin, which helps. But with a night full of dreams that run the gambit of happy, sad, scary, and just plan old weird, I am constantly waking up exhausted.
You may be asking, “what exactly is a vivid dream?” Well a vivid dream is a dream that feels almost life like. Vivid dreams feels so real they can be hard to distinguish from reality at times.
Some vivid dreams can seem so real that you wake and can still smell a scent or feel a touch.
So why all the dreaming lately? I think it’s a combination of a new supplement I am taking, and stress. The supplement affect my hormones, which affects sleep, because it affects serotonin.
Also I know taking melatonin could be the culprit, but I have been taking melatonin for a long time to help with my insomnia, so that is not a change.
I think perhaps stress is the biggest contributing factor to my vivid, and somewhat crazy dreams. I go through my days, and through life facing many stressors, like most adults.
We get through our days suppressing the urge not to freak out, or cry, or yell, or generally not overreact to tough or challenging situations. But those suppressed feelings stay there, under the surface.
Common Reasons For Vivid Dreams...
Taking Melatonin (Aha)
Eating Spicy Food Before Bed
Watching Weird TV Before Bed
Stopping or Starting New Medication
Stress and Anxiety
I actually find vivid dreams amazing, but unfortunately having them can leave your body not as rested as it should be after a full night’s sleep. Most vivid dreaming happen during rapid eye movement (REM), which occurs in 90 minute cycles while you sleep.
If I had the choice, I would take vivid dreams over dealing with my stress by road raging, or yelling at my kids, or stuffing my face and eating my feelings. But of course I am not getting enough sleep, so I need to find some balance.
What are your thought on dreaming and vivid dreams? How do you dream? Do you dream vivid? Do you remember your dreams? Please share your thoughts and experience!
What Piques Your Curiosity? It’s Human Behavior For Me...
I have always been fascinated by human behavior. I wanted to understand why we do the things that we do. Why do we hurt each other so much? How does a human being become a monster? And there are most certainly monsters walking amongst us, but were they made or born that way?
I am by no means a mental health expert, but once upon a time my education was heading in that direction. I had hoped to become a criminal psychologist or federal agent profiling and chasing monsters, but I ultimately I chose a “lighter” path. But my desire to understand human behavior has never waned.
If you haven’t watched Mindhunter on Netflix yet, I highly recommend you check it out. I binged watched it a few weeks ago, and it didn’t disappoint. It quenched my thirst for peaking into the psyche of the criminal mind, but also it shows how the childhood plays such an important role in creating healthy adults.
Nature versus nurture has always been a debatable topic. If nature decides, then your seed is bad or good no matter the upbringing or love, or lack there of. But if nurture is the determinant, then the positive or negative household will decide the human that goes forth into society.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you view it, nurture seems to make the most monsters. Historically, most serial killer seemed to grow up in unstable, and abusive households.
I am not saying unstable upbringings create serial killers, but they do tend create “hot mess” adults. Unstable households can consist of physical, sexual, or verbal abuse, all of which emotionally damages the child.
Also keep in mind that if a child witnesses addiction, frequent fighting and yelling, or even just unhappy parents can do damage. Children absorb their environments, and sometimes blames themselves for adult problems.
No one’s life is perfect, but we are all products of our childhood households and environment, for better or worse. Ultimately we all get to choose if we are going to rise above our “unfair” beginnings, or be a victim, or even worse a predator.
Do you believe in “tabula rasa”, which is the belief that everyone is born with a blank slate? Or do you believe that some people are just born good or bad? Please share your story or opinion!
“So many broken children living in adult bodies.” - Unknown
The Psychology Behind Always Feeling Like You Forgot Something...WTH
Lately when I get into the car in the morning I feel like I am forgetting something. In my home I feel like I forgot something. I lay down for bed at night, and I feel like I forgot something.
The problem is I am not forgetting anything, but of course I spend the five minutes making sure I have my purse, and my wallet, and work badge. I check the doors, the stove, the alarm, but nothing. Everything is as it should be, so what the hell is the problem.
Is This OCD?
Is this the beginning of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) setting in? Is this what anxiety feels like? I remember growing up my mom would almost compulsively check the stove, and the doors and windows, multiple times every night.
Now as a mom I too check everything, but I have the help of technology to assist. Don't get me wrong, I am not checking everything multiple times, but I seem to be having my own version of crazy setting in. So what gives?
A part of me think this is "normal", a word that I hate. I dislike the word normal because it feels like it really boxes people in. Be this way or act this way, because if you don't then something is wrong with you. You are abnormal, and who wants to be that?
What Is OCD and The OCD Cycle?
So in order to put my self at ease, and self diagnose, I did some research. Obsessions are those repetitive, non productive thoughts that we all have from time to time.
Many people may experience this when heading out on vacation for example, worrying if you locked the doors, or if you unplugged an iron. You may obsess to the point that you turn around to go check and put your mind at ease.
Compulsions are the repetitive, non productive behaviors. OCD causes a great deal of anxiety, but an anxiety disorder does not necessarily cause OCD.
About 3% of the population will experience OCD at some point. Men and women experience it equally. Women tend to obsessively clean, while men tend to obsessively check things. It also tends to run in families.
What's my diagnosis? Well since I am self-diagnosing, I think it is stress with a touch of anxiety and a sprinkle of OCD. It is a coping mechanism. Honestly, after reading the articles, I do not think I truly meet the criteria, except with my hand sanitizer addiction. But hey, that's just good sense. Am I right?
All jokes aside, mental disorders are serious and can negatively impact our lives. I have added a link for more information on OCD.
“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” – Dan Millman
Season Finale Depression...It's A Real Thing
If you are like me you love your shows. Life can be stressful at times, but for a couple of hours a week you get a complete escape. Or even better, and worse, you get 10 solid hours of escapism by binge watching something on Netflix.
It's amazing, right? You plan your whole day around it. And when you can't watch it on time, you avoid any possible spoilers like the plague. Once watched you can hardly contain yourself, wanting to discuss theories and possible plot lines with your love, your bestie, and your coworkers.
Sometimes, even with random strangers who happens to mention the show in passing. You are so invested, and so excited, but also starting to get this other feeling as things progress. A twinge of finale depression is coming on.
Supposedly all good things must come to an end. Sadly, this seems to be the case with our favorite shows. As each episode passes, and more questions are answered, the end creeps closer and closer.
You are excited for what is to come in the finale, you truly are, but also sad because you know the season will soon be over. A void will be left. Yes, you will try to fill it, but it just will not the same.
Here are some shows that have created voids for me...
Sex and the City (permanent void)
Scandal (last season sadness)
The Walking Dead (getting closer)
Stranger Things (almost here!)
WestWorld (2018 ugh)
Game of Throne (I can't even, the wound is too fresh)
The worst thing about our favorite shows is the wait. It used to be a few months in between seasons. Now it can be a year or more for a new season. Even worse in the case of GoT, as it will be the final season, so the return will be long awaited and bittersweet. What show leaves you with a void? Maybe nothing new. Bring on the nostalgia.
The Benefits Of Foam Rollers For Chronic Back Pain
Photo:Stack.com
Have you ever heard the expression "it hurts so good"? Well that is my masochistic relationship with my foam roller. It is both hard and soft at the same time, and meant to soothe and help alleviate pain.
I was first introduced to the foam roller years ago in physical therapy and hated it. It hurt and I literally dreaded that part of my therapy. Slowly I began to realize how much it helped my achy muscles, and the ligaments in my knees and thighs. But most of all it helped my lower back pain, in the most excruciating way.
Foam rollers were designed for self massage, also known as the self-myofascial release. It helps break up scar tissue, adhesions, and speed up the healing after workouts. It also soothes sore areas, known as trigger points, and is basically a cost effect massage.
I use the foam roller on my calves, illiotibial (IT) band, and butt. You can roll out pre or post workout, but I prefer to do it every night about a half hour before bedtime. It hurts, and yet relaxes me, much like a deep tissue massage. The rollers come in many sizes and colors, so you can find just what you are looking for based on your needs.
Have I sold you yet on the foam roller? Hopefully you are already using one. Trust me, once you push through the pain and discomfort, you will be rewarded with better flexibility, less muscle soreness, and fewer injuries from exercise.