6 Signs You Are Infatuated

Infatuation can happen to anyone at any age in life. Surprisingly it is not just for teens although often associated with a school crush or favorite movie star or boy band. Infatuations can and may happen periodically throughout your entire life.

I think for many of us when we think of infatuation we think of posters on the walls of our teen bedroom or doodling his or her name over and over again in our notebook. But the reality is you could be infatuated with your college professor or the barista at the corner cafe. Or maybe even infatuated with your boss or the nanny. You could even be in a committed relationship and be infatuated with someone.

When you are infatuated with someone you have strong feelings of love or passion for them that make you unable to think clearly or sensibly about them. The keywords to the infatuation definition are clearly and sensibly because we are blinded by their beauty or charm. If you are wondering if you are infatuated, here are the signs to look for.

6 Signs of Infatuation

They are Always on your Mind

The big thing with infatuation is that you cannot stop thinking about that certain person. They are always on your mind. Thoughts of them can be extremely intrusive, and almost like a drug or an addiction, you need a fix. You need to see them. You need to talk to them. You need some sort of interaction to feel better and get that emotional high they give you.

It’s crazy, but when you are infatuated by someone they are somehow always on your mind.

You Feel Sad or Depressed When You Cannot See or Interact With Them

You feel absolutely miserable when you cannot see or speak to the object of your infatuation. You know it is bad when your moods and emotional well-being are negatively impacted by not seeing them or by not talking to them.

This is such an unhealthy place to find yourself. If your infatuation is causing you emotional distress it is time to pull away and let it go if your crush has no interest in you or is unavailable to you. Pining after someone you cannot have is a miserable state to be in and no way to treat yourself. You deserve better.

You Feel Jealous and Possessive of Them

Chances are, you are not in a romantic relationship with the one you are infatuated with, but you wish you were or hope to be. Until that time, in your mind they are yours and you get very jealous at the thought or sight of them with someone you view as a romantic rival.

You feel almost an ownership of the object of your infatuation. You become hurt, sad, and even infuriated by the mere thought of them giving another man or woman attention.

You Think They Are Perfect

You see the object of your infatuation as perfect. You do not see their flaws. You do not really see them. No one is perfect but when it comes to your infatuation you are only seeing what you want to see. They can do no wrong.

You see the gorgeous guy or girl who is super sweet. But that’s it. Your assessment of their character stopped there. There is more to them than their looks and the fantasy life you created in your mind. You just have to be willing to look open your eyes to reality.

You Would Do Anything For Them

There is practically nothing they could ask you to do that you would say no to. You just want to please them. You just want to make them happy. And you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them.

Unfortunately, this tactic almost never works. Being at someone’s beck and call shows a lack of self-worth and self-respect. If you cannot love and respect yourself how can you expect others to love and respect you? Besides, would a truly great person use you and have you at their beck and call?

You Cannot Bear The Thought of Not Having Them

Your infatuation is obsessive. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend you may try to ruin it. You may even stalk them on social media or even in person. All I can say is “do not do it”. It is not worth it. He or she is not worth it. The behavior is not healthy and if they require all this effort they do not deserve you.

If you have made your feelings known and they did not reciprocate you have to let it go and move on. But you take comfort in knowing that you tried but also knowing that you cannot force a relationship. Do not worry, because you know fishes in the sea and all that.

Infatuation usually fades but can just as easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. Believe me, if you are doing any of the six signs above you are not in love. This is a phase. A passing fancy. An infatuation and it will pass. And once it does, you will likely look back and laugh and maybe even ask yourself “what were you thinking” focusing so much time and energy on that person.

What are your thoughts on being infatuated? When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? Did you get the guy or girl? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Every time he looked at me I felt like I'd touched my tongue to the tip of a battery. In art class I'd watch him lean back and listen and I was nothing but zing and tingle. After a while, the tingle turned to electricity, and when he asked me out my whole body amped to a level where technically I should have been dead. I had nothing in common with a sheddy like him, but a girl doesn't think straight when she's that close to electrocution.” ― Cath Crowley, Graffiti Moon

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Love VS Crush and Infatuation...Here’s The Difference

I think many people often mistake crushes and infatuation with love. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. A big difference in fact. In the movies, adorable couples infatuated with each other fall in love and live happily ever after, right?

In real life things tend to be a little different.

Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand, and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

Love is patient, love is understanding, and love is forgiving. Love desires a deep connection, while infatuation craves physical interactions.

Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation

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Feelings Come on Fast

Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.

Short Lived

Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.

Sees Perfection

With crushes and infatuation, it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income.

The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.

Crazy Or Irrational Behavior

Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.

Based On Attraction

Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head.

The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually, the crush is someone who is out of reach for you.

Signs Of Love

Feelings Last

With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.

Accepts Them, Flaws And All

When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.

Open and Honest

Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hope, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours.

Only Eyes For Them

Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to other's beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart.

Their Happiness Is Important

We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.

Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort

Seeing their face, or hearing their voice can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.

The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies, and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happens in both cases. But with love, there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of each other.

What are your thoughts on crushes and infatuation? Do you believe that infatuation can turn to love? Have you ever thought it was love only to realize it was just a crush? Please share!

"I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know, I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight." Lyrics from The Spoils by Massive Attack

Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels

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Cyberstalking...Are You Guilty Of It?

The thought of cyberstalking sounds insanely creepy. The concept of stalking period is creepy. One usually stalks with the intent to catch eventually, right? Like an animal in the wild, watching its prey, learning its patterns, and waiting for the right moment to strike. 

After all, timing is everything.

Human beings are not much different than animals in the wild. We all carry with us some basic, predatory instincts. It is our nature. Humans are also curious creatures, which can lead us to some "light" cyberstalking.

Maybe you start peeking at his Facebook, and Instagram postings. You debate messaging him, but you don't. Instead you slowly gather intel about him from the Internet. Is this stalking?

Some might say so, but you believe it's harmless. Others might say you are just being smart in finding out everything you can before initiating contact.

In all seriousness,  cyberstalking is a growing problem. There is so much information readily available on the Internet, and then you add in social media, and we are all very exposed.

True cyberstalking is a crime, and involves harassing and stalking someone through email, instant messaging, and social media. But let's be honest, even if you never make contact, deep down you know you are being a little creepy.

I admit that I have definitely looked at an exes online info. Can you blame me? If I were a single woman, a guy would be smart to go through, and read my blogs. He would learn a lot about my likes and dislikes, and most importantly, the fastest way to my heart.

Unfortunately this could lead to a pretender, a guy who tricks me into loving them because we just have "so much in common". I always hope for authenticity in people, but I know to a degree, that I'm forever vulnerable because of my blogs.

Let's face it, we have now become a society of over-sharers and voyeurs. Which are you? Do you consider yourself a bit of a cyberstalker? If you are, what do you hope to gain from it? Nothing, some sort of advantage, or someone's heart? I hope you at least know why you are doing it. 

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