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Twin Flame vs Soulmate - What Is The Difference?
Whether you are a hopeless romantic, a believer in astrology and the zodiac, or just someone curious about the mysteries of the universe and how everyone and everything may be connected, you may find the terms twin flame and soulmate intriguing. If you believe in fate, and love, and that some of us are just meant to cross paths, be together, or are destined to be intertwined, forever, then this blog is for you.
I think most people know what a soulmate is but some have never heard the term “twin flame” before. The two terms are often used as interchangeable but actually have different meanings.
What is a twin flame?
Twin flames are believed to be part of the same soul but divided into two separate bodies. These two individuals form a powerful bond that transcends time and space when they come together. When meeting, a twin flame will remind you of yourself and you will be able to form a bond effortlessly.
What is a soulmate?
Soulmate has many definitions. The basic definition is a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. The true meaning of a soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives. Relationships between soulmates are magical and when romantic with passion that is off the charts. You cannot explain it, but there will be a connection between you and your soulmate that exists whether you two are together or apart.
What’s the difference a twin flame and soulmate?
The main difference between a twin flame and a soulmate is that you only get one twin flame while you may have multiple soulmates. The twin flame is literally your other half. Your twin flame may make you feel complete and feed your soul.
Soulmates are cosmically linked. You are meant to be and being together or being around one another just feels right. You may have a bestie who is your soulmate, while also having a lover or a partner who is a soulmate as well.
Which is better, the twin flame or the soulmate?
Many would say, myself included, that neither the twin flame or soulmate, is better or worse than the other because they each bring something similar, yet unique, to your life. There is room for both and if you are fortunate enough to find your twin flame or soulmate in this life, cherish them.
What are your thoughts on twin flames and soulmates? Have you found your person or person yet? Please share!
“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”— Maya Angelou
5 Signs He’s Deeply In Love With You
When you think you have found the one, you want to know if they feel the same way. It may be hard to tell if the guy you have fallen for is feeling the same way, and while you may crave to hear those three little words, just remember actions always speaks louder than words.
There are always signs early on and throughout relationships that are excellent barometers for determining the health and status of your partnership. Whether those signs are indicating a strong commitment from a loving man or red flags telling you to run the other way. The truth is plain to see if you are paying attention and know what to look for. Here are 5 signs he is deeply in love with you.
5 Signs He Is Deeply In Love With You
He Is Always Team You
A man deeply in love is always team “wife or partner”. He takes the you and me against the world to heart. He is not taking his family’s side over yours and he is definitely not taking his friend’s side over yours. He always thinks about your thoughts and feelings first because he loves you and wants to make and keep you happy. Even if he disagrees with you, that is a private conversation between the two of you and he never entertains outside interference in the relationship.
This man is also your biggest supporter and cheerleader. He wants to see you succeed, even if that means your success outpaces his because he views it as a win for you as a win for you both.
He Won’t Let You Struggle
Marriage and relationships can be tough at times and when you add children to the mix life can become extremely challenging. Whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home wife or mom, the man who deeply loves you will pull his share and then some when needed. He does not wait to be asked or directed, but instead, he steps in to be a reliable helpmate because he cares about your mental and emotional well-being.
He’s Mentally and Emotionally Present
A man deeply in love does not make a habit of coming home from work and plopping down in front of the television or hopping on video games and not engaging with his partner. Sure, we all need and are entitled to some “me” time, but you will not have to compete with your partner’s phone to get their attention or just to spend time with them. In fact, a man deeply in love cannot wait to spend time with you and to talk and share, or just veg out watching Netflix with you.
He’s Honest With You
A man deeply in love is open and honest with you. He communicates with you about how he is feeling and what he is thinking. He is willing to share his fears, his concerns, and his pet peeves in your relationship in a respectful and constructive manner.
He is also honest about the who, what, when, where, and why. He’s not keeping secrets or being sneaky. If you wanted to see his phone, messages, or emails he would let you because he has nothing to hide and he wants you to know that you can trust him.
He Is Putting In The Work
A man deeply in love wants his relationship to last and for that to happen, he knows it requires work and dedication on both your parts. If that means listening more, putting in more effort, or even going to couples therapy he is willing to do it because to him it is worth it.
There are ebbs and flows in most relationships. Passion may wane but I believe love should still be present if the relationship is to survive. There should be no expectation of perfection but if he consistently has your back, is a great helpmate, is present for you, is honest, and is doing his best to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with you then he may be a keeper.
What are your thoughts on signs a man is deeply in love? Do you agree with my list? What would add or remove? Please share your thoughts and experiences!
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." –Victor Hugo
Emotional Affairs 101 - 7 Signs You're Having An Emotional Affair
Emotional affairs are more common than many of us would like to think. They happen quite often in the workplace and friendship groups. They can start at any place people spend time with others and have an opportunity to develop non romantic relationships. Those non romantic relationships may take an intimate or romantic turn, and that is where things can get complicated.
The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.
Wondering if you or your partner may be having an emotional affair? Here are 7 signs to look out for.
7 Signs of An Emotional Affair
You’re Very Close
You are very close to your opposite-sex friend. You two are besties. You share thoughts, feelings, dreams, and even secrets. Your relationship is closer than the typical friendship and has a level of intimacy that mimics a romantic relationship.
Talking All The Time
You two talk all of the time. Whether it is face to face, on the phone, via text, or through emails. The communication between you two is frequent and has an element of angst. You talk more to each other than you do to your significant others and no topics are off limits.
You Think About Them All The Time
They are always on your mind. When you are not talking with them or texting them, you are thinking about them. It is almost obsessive. You may find yourself resisting the urge to reach out to them to share your good news, or bad news, or to just hear their voice because you miss them and crave contact.
The Relationship Is A Secret
Intentional or not, there is a level of secrecy to your relationship. Your partners and other friends are unaware of just how close you two are because you keep a large portion of your relationship hidden. And that’s how you both prefer it because the secrecy makes your relationship feel more special, and you realize others may not approve of your closeness.
You Share Secret About Your Partner
You share secrets about your partners with one another. You vent about your partners to each other. They seem to get you better than your partner, so when your partner does not react or respond to news or situations as you would prefer, the first person you think to go to is your emotional affair partner.
You Compare Them To Your Spouse or Partner
You may or may not be in love with your partner but when you compare your romantic partner to your emotional affair partner, your romantic partner doesn’t measure up. While things feel hard with your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, it feels lighter and easier with your emotional affair partner.
You Feel Like Time With Your Spouse Is A Betrayal
The more connected and attached you feel to your emotional affair partner, the more you question your relationship with your spouse or partner. As your emotional relationship grows, the more you secretly want to be with them, and the more not being with them feels like a betrayal of the relationship you two have. Sounds crazy but love and emotions can make us reckless and irrational.
An emotional affair will make you feel alive when you are missing something or feel dead in your committed relationship. But if you’re not willing to lose what you have with your current partner, and an emotional affair will blow that up, you need to change course and stay away from the temptation, and end the emotional affair. Or at least end one of the relationships.
Many people would rather their partner commit a physical affair over an emotional affair because sex is one thing but feelings and love is hard to come back from. The intimacy of an emotional affair goes deep and a partner accepting the fact that their spouse or partner fell in love with someone else is a hard pill to swallow and they may never get past it.
What Should You Do About Your Emotional Affair?
I cannot tell you what to do about your emotional affair because it’s your life and every situation is different. What I will advise is that you take a step back to figure out why you were vulnerable to an emotional affair in the first place.
Are there problems in your marriage or relationship that you are avoiding addressing or struggling with feeling trapped in your relationship? Do you bore easily in your romantic relationships and are always looking for something new? Or is your emotional affair partner the person you were always meant to be with?
There are no easy answers but how do you envision your life in the future? In your mind, is your future with your current partner or with someone else? Only you know what’s in your heart and mind.
What are your thoughts on emotional affairs? Have you ever been impacted by an emotional affair? Have you ever had one? Are you currently having an emotional affair? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.”
― Shannon L. Alder
10 Traits Of A High Value Man
A high-value man may be hard to come by but when you find him you may not want to let him go. A high-value man has many traits, and while he is not perfect, he definitely is a catch, and he just may be a keeper.
“A high-value man is defined as the epitome of masculinity, leadership, charm, and sophistication. He is a man of means and influence, loved by women, revered by men, and moves gallantly through the challenges of life with courage and pride.” - Andrew Ferebee
If you are trying to figure out if you have found your high-value man, here are the traits to look for.
10 Signs Of a High-Value Man
Assertive
A high-value man is assertive. He knows what he wants in his life and is focused on getting it, and if that want includes you, prepare to have your mind blown.
He is assertive but not aggressive. Assertiveness is sexy, aggressiveness is not.
Honest
He says what he means and means what he says. He is honest, he is trustworthy, and he is a man of his word. You can believe in and trust a high-value man.
Consistent
A high-value man is consistent. He is unwavering in his wants, needs, desires, and goals. His consistency and determination is the reason he is so successful in both his personal and professional relationships.
Confident
A high-value man knows what he brings to the table. He is confident but not arrogant. A high-value knows what he is capable of and what he deserves and he goes for it, and that may include his pursuit of you.
Knows His Worth
A high-value man knows his worth. He is not seeking approval or validation from others because he knows what he has to offer. He does not look to others to affirm his worth but focuses inward while holding himself to a higher standard.
He Understands People
A high-value man understands people. He has a high level of emotional intelligence. He is compassionate, he understands how people work, why people do what they do, and how to communicate and meet them where they are.
He reads the room and situations like no other, which often gives him the upper hand.
Wants A High-Value Woman
A high-value man wants a high-value woman. A high-value man wants a woman who is confident, assertive, successful, and honest and he does not feel threatened by her ambitions, goals, and self-reliance. A high-value man wants a relationship with his equal.
Successful
A high-value man is successful. He is a professional or a businessman, and he is pulling in at least six figures in his annual salary. He is heading to the top of his field or is already there because he is ambitious, determined, and focused.
Reliable
A high-value man is reliable. He is a man you can count on. He is dependable, he is responsible, and he is a safe place for you.
Charming
A high-value man is a charmer. His effortless charisma pulls people in. He knows how to make you feel seen and leave you feeling all gooey inside. He has a knack for making everyone around him feel special, especially the certain woman in his life and the woman he is pursuing.
A high-value man is not just one of the listed traits, he is all of them. It is a high bar to meet the standard of a high-value man, but that is what makes them so exceptional. That is what makes them such a catch. They are the unicorn of men. Rare and hard to find but rewarding and magical when you do.
What are your thoughts on the high-value man? Do you believe they exist? Do you have one? Please share your thoughts and experience!
"A good man will want you to shine. He wants you to be your amazing self. A good man loves to show off his happy, intelligent, amazing, powerful woman." — Anastasia Netri
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
Not all relationships last. Many relationships run their natural course and end amicably, while others crash and burn. In some relationships, you walk away from it a better person than when it started, and with other relationships, you leave thinking “what the heck” just happened.
In my opinion, no one should ever be blindsided by the end of a romantic relationship because the signs are always there. Always. But if you are unsure that what you are seeing are signs that your relationship is in trouble and heading towards its demise, here are the signs to look for.
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
Avoidance
You don’t spend time with them or they don’t want to spend time with you. Time together is no longer enjoyable. Time together is an annoyance; a burden. So what do you do, you avoid them altogether. You spend time with others. You focus on your kids, your work, or your hobbies. Anything to distract from your dissatisfaction with your relationship.
Avoidance is passive-aggressive behavior and the most common sign that a relationship is on its last legs.
Annoyance
Every little thing you or they do annoys the other person. The tolerance level for imperfection is extremely low and the person cannot seem to do anything right in the eyes of the partner who wants out.
The annoyance sign tends to be extremely hurtful because you feel like you cannot do anything right and your partner will basically tell you so. They become dismissive and often verbally or emotionally abusive.
Do not tolerate abuse.
Infrequent or No Intimacy
Any intimacy feels forced and like a chore. They don’t want to hug, kiss, or show any form of affection, and when they do, it feels cold and insincere. They may have trouble even saying “I love you”.
Maybe you have very long dry spells of no bedroom action, or perhaps you have started to sleep separately. Someone conveniently sleeping on the couch or not coming to bed until long after their partner has gone to sleep is a big sign.
No Communication
Communication is terrible at best and non-existent at its worst. You two are not communicating your feelings, emotions, or desires. You are doing whatever you want to do, without discussion or consideration for your partner.
In the past, you would text if you were running late or double-check with your partner before making plans. However, in your new relationship reality, the courtesy discussions and agreements do not happen.
This is a sign that they are starting to see themselves as a “me”, not a “we”.
Personality Changes
Maybe they have not changed but you are certainly seeing a different of side them. You are seeing a side that is not interested in your happiness, your opinions, or your feelings. You wonder where the old them have gone, but they make no apologies or excuses for the change, and instead just tell you “this is who they are” and expect you to accept it or not.
This sign may consist of a lot of gaslighting but it is also laced with invitations to end the relationship so they don’t have to.
When you know, you know. And when it’s over, it is over. Relationships can get to a point of no return, and it is important to recognize when you are there. And once you recognize it, tell yourself it is okay to let go. You will need to let go for your own mental and emotional well-being. Remember your worth and know that sometimes being alone and happy can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever have.
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any of these signs or issues in a relationship? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil
Relationships…5 Types of Men To Choose Your Own Adventure With
Despite popular belief, humans do not have to mate for life. The thought of being with the same person sounds comforting, or horrendous, depending on where you fall on the commitment scale, but given the frequency of cheating and divorce, is mating for life natural?
Many people are waiting longer to get married or choosing not to tie the knot at all. For those on the fence about long-term committed relationships, marriage or not, I recommend the “choose your own adventure” tactic to try out mini relationships.
The goal is to try out guys with different personalities and interests, instead of the types you usually go for. Experiment, have fun, and find out what type of relationship brings you the most satisfaction, emotionally, mentally, or physically.
5 Different Types of Men… Choose Your Own Adventure With One Or All Of Them
The Adventurous Guy
The adventurous guy is the one you travel and you try new things with. He is fun and exciting but not too keen on commitment. He may be an adrenaline junky but fresh, new, and exciting is what he craves.
He’s perfect for getting you out of your shell and getting you to try new things without any pressure. He doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. And you shouldn’t take him too seriously either. This guy won’t settle down and has a short attention span. Enjoy him while it lasts because it will not last long.
The Bedroom Guy
It’s pretty obvious what you would do with the bedroom guy. He’s your booty call on speed dial. He comes when beckoned, is very eager to please, and always leaves you satisfied. If he leaves you with more to be desired, lose his number.
But otherwise, enjoy the carefree, no strings attached bedroom adventures with a man who loves to give, as much as he loves to receive in the bedroom. Now, the bedroom guy may not be a keeper, but he may be worth a repeat visit.
The Proper Guy
The proper guy is smart, and successful, and makes for a great date to a work event or something you have to attend with someone who will blend in. The proper guy is aloof, private, and not particularly affectionate, especially in public.
Where the proper guy lacks in excitement, he makes up for in reliability. He is dependable and honest, and he is a gentleman. These are not bad qualities to have in a mate but if you are easily bored, he is not the one.
The Fun Buddy
The fun buddy is the guy you go out to get drinks with, have over to veg out in front of the television or take as your plus one to a wedding. The fun buddy is a good time, always makes you laugh, and there is never any drama with him.
The downside with the fun buddy is that he can be irresponsible, immature, and unfocused. He’s a good time, but not the most reliable guy. He does not do serious situations very well and is uncomfortable with complex emotions. He likes to keep things light, which can be a good thing, most of the time.
The Polyamorous Experimental Guy
The polyamorous guy likes to spread his affection around. Polyamory would never be for me because I do not like to share but I do see the advantages of the relationship. Relationships can be tiresome, demanding, and boring, so having someone else there to take up the slack or step in when you need a break might be nice. Although I’m still not sharing someone I call my man, I can’t lie and say I don’t see the appeal.
A relationship with two men at once and everything is out in the open sounds like an interesting concept. But as a woman, and a wife, it also sounds like a lot of work. A guy who is polyamorous is greedy and not likely to be satisfied for very long with the love of just one woman, so you should always expect to share him.
To be clear, this is not an anti-marriage blog. Do what you want! But since conventional wisdom is changing on the concept of monogamy, marriage, and committed relationships, I think it is worth it to have the conversation. Of course, this is not Divergent, and people are multi-faceted and layered, but they all have prevailing traits. Find out which is more for you, or you can just keep trying them all. Do you!
What are your thoughts on trying out the 5 types of men? Do you already know your type? Or are you perhaps open to seeing who else is out there who you have not considered that may fulfill you in a new and different way? Please share your thoughts and experience.
“There are three different types of men in this world: There are weak men- men who run and hide when life slaps them in the ass. Then, there are men- men who have a backbone, yet occasionally, then life slaps them in the ass, will rely on others. And then, there are real men- men who don't cry or complain, who don't just have a backbone, then are the backbone. Men who make their own decisions and live with the consequences and who accept responsibility for their actions or words. Men who, when life slaps them in the ass, slap back and move on.” - Madeline Sheehan
Holiday Movies To Watch This Season
It is that time of year again and if you want easy, stress-free, commercial-free, and yes a romantic Christmas comedy full of cliches, I have the list for you. Who doesn’t love a cheesy, romantic holiday movie? I know I do. I love watching them while cooking meals, baking cookies, online shopping, wrapping presents, or just vegging out on the couch or in bed.
While I love me some Love Actually and have finally conceded that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, don’t judge me, you will find neither on this list. You can just sit back with a glass of wine or hot cocoa and enjoy the fun, silliness, and the somewhat predictable Christmas movie love fest.
Here’s what to watch now on Netflix.
9 Holiday Movies Worth Watching Now
Falling For Christmas
In the days leading up to Christmas, a young and newly engaged heiress experiences a skiing accident. After being diagnosed with amnesia, she finds herself in the care of the handsome lodge owner and his daughter.
It was good to see Lindsey Lohan in a new movie. This is a typical cheesy Christmas movie but is also sweet and funny. You can watch it now on Netflix.
Love Hard
An LA girl, unlucky in love, falls for an East Coast guy on a dating app and decides to surprise him for the holidays, only to discover that she's been catfished. This lighthearted romantic comedy chronicles her attempt to reel in love.
This holiday rom-com encompasses all the typical elements and has just the right amount of cuteness and humor, and a little lesson on the perils of online dating. Sometimes people are not who they seem to be.
A Castle for Christmas
To escape a scandal, a bestselling author journeys to Scotland, where she falls in love with a castle - and faces off with the grumpy duke who owns it. - IMBD
It was great to see some familiar faces in this holiday romantic comedy. Think Blue Lagoon and The Princess Bride. Okay maybe that’s taking it back a little too far but you get my point. Holiday romance is not just for twenty-something-year-olds.
Operation Christmas Drop
Congressional aide Erica (Graham) forgoes family Christmas to travel at her boss's behest. At a beachside Air Force base, she clashes with Capt. Andrew Jantz (Ludwig), who knows her assignment is finding reasons to defund the facility. - IMBD
Set in the backdrop of real-life operations that help small pacific islands every year, this fictitious romance is a sweet reminder of the importance of generosity and the true Christmas spirit of giving.
The Holiday
Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. - IMDB
The Holiday came out over fifteen years ago, but it’s still fun and relatable, and in some ways, and perfect for this time of year.
A Snowbound Christmas
Marketing exec lands a spot on a big project but before the presentation, a snowstorm traps her and her boss at a resort where they realize there is more to their relationship than just business. - IMBD
I believe this originally appeared on Hallmark but nevertheless, this is a sweet, and family-friendly holiday movie.
A Christmas Prince
When a reporter goes undercover as a tutor to get the inside scoop on a playboy prince, she gets tangled in some royal intrigue and ends up finding love - but will she be able to keep up her lie? - IMDB
A Christmas Prince is great for the family to watch together. Very cheesy, and Disney-like but also sweet and heartwarming. It is actually a trilogy now, so you can also watch A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding and A Christmas Prince: A Royal Baby.
Holidate
Fed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way. - IMDB
This was a surprisingly entertaining rom-com. This is funny and cute but it is not family-friendly due to language and content.
The Holiday Calendar
A struggling but talented photographer inherits an antique holiday advent calendar, the contents of which seem to predict the future. Will this magical calendar lead her to love this holiday season?
I love the magical elements added to this holiday story. This is another family-friendly Christmas movie that everyone can sit down together and watch.
Some of these are old and some of these are new but they are all perfect for this time of year to curl up on the couch and watch. Or to just enjoy as you wrap gifts or relax. I have watched them all and hope you give a couple or all of them a try too! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
5 Biggest Marriage Complaints From Wives
I think at this point, most adults recognize that marriage is challenging at best, and hard work in reality. Love does not conquer all, especially when those in the marriage feel like they are being taken for granted and not getting the best effort from their partner.
As someone who has been married for over 20 years and has listened to many friends, relatives, and coworkers complain about their past and present spouses, it’s no wonder divorce rates are so high.
A happy and fulfilling marriage requires a team effort, and many women feel their spouse is just sitting on the bench and watching them take it for the team, constantly.
Here Are the Biggest Complaints Women Have About Their Marriage
Household Chores
Household chores and who does them can become one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Whether the wife is a stay-at-home mom, or works full time, for many households, the wife does most, if not all the cooking, and cleaning, including picking up behind her spouse. She also does the shopping, bill paying, and pet care, and takes care of the couple’s social calendar.
If she stays at home, it is like her shift never ends, and if she works outside the home, she is doing twice the work of her partner. Can you say seething resentment?
Child Care
The common belief that women should be the primary caretaker of children in a family is still very prevalent, despite the fact that women are often financial contributors to the household and sometimes the breadwinners.
Some women ask “Is it that he can’t or he won’t take on more of the childcare efforts”. Obviously, dads cannot breastfeed but they can bottle feed. Both parents can comfort and discipline their children and help with homework, but many women complain that it all falls on them unless they ask their husbands for “help”. Yes, they have to ask for help from their spouse to take care of their own children. This is a source of frustration.
In-Laws
Whether the in-laws are too involved or not involved at all in the marriage and the family, they can be a source of contention for a couple, especially when there are grandchildren.
When a couple weds, the spouse has to come first, and a husband should stick up for and defend his wife against meddling relatives, and not expect her to tolerate hostile or toxic situations.
Monster-in-laws are not just a myth, they do exist.
Finances
Money has always been and continues to be a big issue in marriages. Who controls the money, who decides how the money is spent, and who pays for what is a big stressor for married couples.
Many households are dual income, but both spouses may not bring in equal pay. Whether all the money goes into one pot or the couples keep separate accounts, agreeing on financial goals and spending habits often creates disagreements.
According to a Department of Labor statistic, married women make 75.5% of what married men make. Unmarried, never-married women make 94.2% of what their unmarried male counterparts make.
Communication
It sucks to be married to a poor communicator. Communication is always the cornerstone of any good relationship, but it doesn’t work miracles. Communication has to be reciprocated and with good intentions. Listening is also part of good communication and so is being open to receiving information.
Many wives complain about having the same discussions, complaints, and arguments over and over again with their spouses. They don’t feel heard and often feel more like mothers and bosses than wives and partners. How do you express the same feelings and frustrations time and again without sounding like a nag or a shrew? Is the hubby just nodding his head but checking out of the conversation? Or is the wife expecting him to read her mind? I suppose both could be true.
In a relationship, if your partner does not consider your complaints and frustrations valid, you may be with the wrong person. Your partner should respect you enough to not want you working all day at a job and coming home and working like a dog taking care of the house, the kids, and him. A person who allows that to happen is selfish and has a lack of respect for you, and maybe a lack of love for you as well.
What are your thoughts on complaints wives have? What are your complaints? How did you address them? Did anything change? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” ― Greg Behrendt
The Self Fulfilling Prophecy of Getting Dumped: The 5 Reasons Why They Left You
Some relationships were never meant to last, and deep down we always knew it. We want to be happy and enjoy the relationship, but we cannot get the negative thoughts out of our heads which tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-fulfilling prophecy is also known as the interpersonal expectancy effect.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is the psychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something, and this "prediction" or expectation coming true simply because the person believes or anticipates it will and the person's resulting behaviors align to fulfill the belief. Wikipedia
The sad thing about self-fulfilling prophecies is that our behaviors play a huge part in the outcome of situations, in this case, relationships. When you had doubts, you acted out, and possibly changed the trajectory of your relationship, and drove them away.
Here’s Why They Left You
You Are Insecure
Confidence is sexy, and insecurity is…well, unsexy. Your lack of confidence in yourself makes you feel insecure in your relationship, which makes you behave clingy and possessive. No matter how many times your partner tells you they love you, they find you attractive, and that they think you are wonderful, you continue to seek more and more validation, which is annoying and drives them away.
Your insecurity is a turnoff. If you do not believe you are worthy of love, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?
You Are Jealous
A certain level of jealousy is normal, but you freak out if your partner smiles at the attractive bartender or waitress. You are checking their phone, tracking their whereabouts, and constantly grilling on their comings and goings. They wanted a partner, not a parent.
If they give attention to anyone other than you, it puts you in a mood and you punish them for it later by ignoring them or withholding affection or intimacy.
Ultimately, behavior like this ends with the opposite of the intended effect.
You Are Controlling
Controlling partners make their mates miserable. Relationships are supposed to be about compromise, but it has to be your way all the time. You want to decide where you live, who you are friends with, where you eat, what you eat. It all has to be your because you believe if you can control them, and control the relationship, they will stay with you.
Unfortunately, when you try to control your partner, you only motivate them to want to leave you and take back control of their life.
You Are Mean
Our fears can manifest themselves in many ways, anger and meanness are a couple of examples. You fear losing your partner, which makes you angry and resentful of them for “making” you feel that way. Instead of recognizing the emotion for what it is, lashing out and meanness occur.
You become insulting and short-tempered with them, and may even betray them because you feel entitled to because you suspect they will eventually leave you.
You Checked Out of the Relationship
Hurt them before they hurt you may be your philosophy, which is terrible, self-destructive, and doesn’t actually prevent you from getting hurt. It just ensures you always end up alone.
Relationships require work and maintenance to function. When someone emotionally checks out of a relationship, they stop being a supportive partner. They stop trying. If you emotionally check out of a relationship you may stop doing both the big and the little things that made your partner feel cared for and valued. Once you check out, you ensure the demise of your relationship.
It takes a lot of self-analysis and self-awareness to recognize when you are unintentionally sabotaging your relationship and creating the self-fulfilling prophecy that will lead to your partner dumping you. This blog gives you examples of what not to do if you are worried about being hurt and being dumped.
You have to remember, just like you chose them, they chose you, as you are. They chose you with your looks, your income, your intellect, your body, and your brain. Yes, some relationships will not work out., but a successful or a failed relationship does not determine your value. You are good enough, but not everything is meant to be.
What are your thoughts on self-fulfilling prophecies? Any experience with ruining a relationship because you were worried your partner would break things off? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker
6 Signs Of Love Bombing... What Is Love Bombing and Why You Need To Stay Away From Love Bombers
Love bombing is a newer term for an old tactic. A Prince Charming or Fairy Princess comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. They give you everything you thought you wanted in a relationship and more. They make you feel loved and special and seen. They seem almost perfect. Almost too good to be true.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. - Wikipedia
Love bombing is so effective because it plays into our fantasies of what romance and relationships should be. The hope of finding your one true love and the person who just gets you. The problem is that love bombers hide behind tactics to deceive and make their victims believe that they are different and offer something different when in reality they are terrible mates and have very little to offer a partner in the long run.
6 Signs of Love Bombing
Rushes The Relationship
After two dates, they are declaring their love for you and want to move in together. They want to meet your friends and family right away even though you two are still getting to know one another. They say you are soulmates and insist you two are meant to be.
You may even hear them spout the term, “when you know, you know” to justify the fast-moving relationship, and the demands they are making of you.
Excessive Attention
A love bomber will give you more attention than you ever had from any other romantic partner before. They will want you to spend all of your time with them. If they are not with you, they are texting, calling, and yes even tracking your whereabouts.
Excessive Affection
A love bomber cannot get enough of you. They will want to constantly kiss you, hold you, and be intimate with you. They do not respect boundaries. You are not one for public displays of affection but they will want to stake their claim on you for everyone else to see.
Lots of Gifts
A love bomber is very generous. They are overly generous actually, and right from the start. Dinners, flowers, trips, and lots and lots of gifts. They are sending flowers to your place of work so everyone can see. They will take you out on expensive dates, and they will buy you gifts and jewelry that is inappropriate for the stage of your relationship.
They are luring you in with a false promise of their generosity and giving nature when in all actuality they are the opposite. They are actually selfish.
Puts You On A Pedestal
A love bomber will tell you how wonderful and perfect you are, but also make you feel like they are the only one who appreciates you and sees your worth. They will make you feel like a hero but also like your value is attached to them and your relationship with them.
Acts As Your Protector
We all want to feel protected when we are vulnerable, but a love bomber will make you feel like there is a boogie man behind every corner and only they can protect you. Suddenly, they are convincing you that everyone is the enemy, including your family and friends.
They only want you to trust them. They will try to convince you that people you have known long before them are untrustworthy and manipulative, and want you to cut them out of your life for your own good.
Love bombers are really just your standard manipulative narcissists. They seem different than anyone else you have ever known before, at first. But as the mask slips away, and you peel back the layers, you may find that you have been duped. All of the above signs are red flags and the classic bait and switch tactics of love bombers.
What are your thoughts on love bombing? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get away from that situation? Please share your story!
“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that's often described by survivors as a kind of 'love-bombing'. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”
― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence