Welcome to Charley’s Blog Life
Welcome to Charlene Eckstein's blog, where love, relationships, dating, attraction, and romance take center stage. Drawing from her experiences as a writer and author, Charlene explores the psychology and everyday experiences behind romantic connection—from recognizing the signs of attraction and understanding sexual chemistry to navigating relationships, dating, and finding love.
You'll also find lifestyle content, books, food and recipes, and videos along the way. Whether you're trying to understand your own relationship, decode someone's behavior, or simply enjoy a good conversation about love and attraction, you'll find something here to explore.
6 Signs He Has Feelings for Someone Else (Even If He Denies It)
Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in a long term relationship, feelings for one another may change. Perhaps you started dating and he wasn’t quite over his ex, or you have been together for a while and suspect that he is in love with someone else.
It can suck to even think about the possibility that your man is in love with another, especially if you have been together for some time and saw a future together.
Here’s the thing, his feelings for this other woman will not miraculously go away so you need to address it with him. If you have that feeling that his heart belongs to someone else, here are the signs to look for.
Signs He’s In Love With Someone Else
He Can’t Stop Talking About Her
When we are in love with someone that person is never far from our mind. When someone is on your mind their name tends to come out of your mouth a lot.
Whether she is the neighbor, a co-worker, or a friend of a friend, if your man is always talking about a particular woman he likely has feelings for her.
Has A Look In His Eyes When He Mentions Her
When the other woman's name comes up, do you see your man’s eyes change? The mere thought of her will make him giddy and happy, and the feelings will show in his eyes.
You will likely recognize this look as to how he used to look at you when you were first falling in love.
Suddenly Stops Talking About Her
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If your man was mentioning a certain woman all of the time and then suddenly stops saying her name it may be indicative of him having feelings for her. He has just wised up and realized that he was bringing her up too much, and him talking about her all the time was making you suspicious.
So now he never says her name anymore, but she is still there, often in his thoughts.
His Moods Depends On Her
On days when he has interacted with her he is happy, excited, and oddly more loving with you. But when he doesn’t see or interact with her he is grouchy, moody, and easily annoyed by you.
When he is missing her or feeling resentful that he cannot be with her, his mood and behavior will reflect his thoughts and heart.
He Wants You To Be More Like Her
Suddenly everything you do, say, eat, or wear is up for scrutiny and comparison. You may start to notice him suggesting different clothes, perfume, hair styles, and even new bedroom tricks for you.
If he is in love with another woman, but in a relationship with you, he may try to turn you into a version of her.
Your Gut Is Telling You
Deep inside we know when a guy is crazy in love with us, and we also know when he is falling out of love with us. If your man is in love with someone else, you will feel it. Horrible, I know.
The thought that your man or the guy you are in love with is in love with someone else is painful. But isn’t it better to know and be able to deal with it or move on? Or would you rather not know, and hope that his feelings the for the other woman is just a faze?
Either way, I think your man loving another woman is a hard reality that will eventually need to be faced. You deserve better than playing second fiddle to anyone else.
What are your thoughts on the signs that a man is in love with someone else? Have you eve been in this situation? Please share your thoughts and experience.
“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Why Some Men Enjoy a More Dominant Partner: The Psychology Behind the Attraction
Domination is about control, and when you allow yourself to be dominated you give up some of your control. Even the control freak likes to occasionally be the passenger and not the driver.
Some men like to be dominated, if only for a little while. He wants to be submissive behind closed doors, in the home, or perhaps just in the bedroom, but regardless of the location, he wants you to take over and dominate him.
The strongest, most confident of men often enjoy domination the most, and you may be asking yourself why, but after reading this blog it will make total sense. Here’s why he wants to be dominated.
5 Reasons Why He Wants To Be Dominated By You
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Relieves Stress
Stress is the body’s natural response to the pressures and challenges we have in our lives, and one has to find a way to manage it. Domination is not always about sex. Domination is often about mental and emotional releases. The role-play, the pain, and even the verbal domination can have an almost soothing and calming effect on a man who wants to be dominated.
Wants To Be Vulnerable
To be vulnerable means to make yourself open to mental, physical, and emotional harm. Men do not often feel comfortable being vulnerable. But in a safe setting and with the right woman, he can allow himself to be vulnerable, even if just under the guise of domination.
It Turns Him On
Yes, sometimes domination is a fetish. A kink or a fetish can be a specific focus that is needed for sexual arousal or gratification. Some men are masochists and enjoy a mixture of pain and pleasure. Domination can involve words of abuse or instruction, physical pain, or consist of small or big punishments.
Every couple has to explore and find their comfort level to make their own rules of play when it comes to domination in the bedroom.
He’s Powerful
Being the one always in charge is exhausting and stressful. Everyone is always looking to him for guidance and answers. Even if he's the one in charge in the boardroom or the office, he may want you to take charge at home or in the bedroom.
He knows that he is powerful, but giving up some of that control to you in the bedroom, and not knowing what you will do to him, excites him.
He Respects You
Most men are not just going to give up their power and control and be vulnerable with just anyone. But with the right woman, a woman he sees as his equal, he can be okay with letting her dominate him. If he respects you and trusts you, he can feel free to let go. Strong, confident men love strong, confident women.
The role of dominatrix is not for everyone, but just as he enjoys giving up his control for a time, you may also enjoy being in complete control of him occasionally.
Domination and role play are not for every man either; at least not every man is willing to admit it. So now that you understand the why, are you game for a little dominating? You and your partner make the rules. And don’t forget your safe word…LOL
Now I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on dominating him? Do you agree with the rationale for enjoying domination? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
How to Know If You're Truly Compatible: 8 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Finding the right mate, or the “one” can feel like a daunting task to say the least. If you have been in the dating scene for a while, or have had several or many relationships over the years, you may be wondering why the relationships don’t work out.
As the old saying goes, “you will have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince”. While I do agree with the overall concept that you may need to meet a lot of different men to find the right one, I don’t think you will necessary need to date, kiss, or sleep with them all to find out if they are the right one, unless of course you want to.
Compatibility can be determined pretty early on and good conversation will usually help you figure it out.
How To Determine Compatibility
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Ask Questions
There are many questions you need answers to if you really want to determine compatibility. All questions do not need to be asked and answered on a first date, but over time you definitely need to peel back the onion and find out where they stand on some really big issues, but also some smaller issues as well.
You will want to know about their thoughts on marriage and family. Do they expect their spouse to work or stay home. Do they want kids? How many and how far into the relationship? Where do they ultimately want to live and retire? And the big one is their relationship with money. Are they a spender or a saver? And of course what role will religion play in your lives and the lives of your children.
Do Things Together
Ideally you meet your mate while participating in an activity you are both very interested in, but if you don’t you will want to find common interests. If you love to read, it may not be a requirement but it is nice to have a partner who also enjoys reading and discussing books they have read.
If you are a very intellectual, critical thinker, you will not be compatible with someone you might describe as not very smart, and you definitely won’t be able to respect them.
If you are into fitness or the outdoors, you will want to try out these activities together. While you do not have to work out together, being able to enjoy activities together that interest you both will keep you bonded.
Meet Family and Friends
People from similar backgrounds tend to be more compatible. Of course, different upbringings don’t necessarily need to be a deal-breaker, but it does make relatability and the understanding of points of view more challenging. Similar upbringings also play a big role in how you view marriage, family, and especially how to raise children.
It is important to be open-minded but also realistic in choosing a partner from a different background.
Kiss/Sleep Together
Physical attraction and sexual compatibility are extremely important to a relationship. I am not encouraging anyone to sleep around, and I understand that for some this is a moral issue, but ask yourself: how many things do you purchase without sampling? If you knew you couldn’t return something, would you still buy it?
Well, I look at selecting a partner the same way. Sexual compatibility is very important. For long-term happiness and fulfillment, you want to have an enjoyable sex life, and if you didn’t know what you were getting into, you were taking a gamble that may or may not pay off.
In all honesty, you can force just about any relationship to work if you are determined to. But if you want to be happy and have a healthy, long-lasting relationship, here are the signs to look for.
8 Signs of A Healthy Relationship
Open Communication: Both you and your partner should be able to openly discuss any topic in your marriage without fear of reprisal, anger, or being shut down.
Emotional Safety: You do not fear for your physical, emotional, or financial safety in the relationship.
Compromise: You’re able to meet in the middle. You and your partner will not always agree, but in a healthy relationship, you are able to discuss and hear out your partner.
Mutual Respect: You value and respect your partner and their boundaries.
Equity: Both you and your partner have an equal say in decisions made for you as a couple.
Trust: You respect each other’s privacy and do not spy on or monitor your partner.
Independence: You each have your identity outside of your relationship. You have individual hobbies, interests, and personal time.
Support: You encourage your partner, let them vent, and cheer them on when needed because you want to see them succeed and meet their goals.
We are who we are, and while we change some over the years, we also stay very much the same, so hoping someone will change and become more of who you want them to be is wishful thinking. It is better to choose someone you are compatible with than to try to change someone to fit your mental, emotional, and sexual needs.
What are your thoughts on compatibility? How important do you think it is to relationship longevity and happiness? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Research shows that couples who have a lot of similarities, including intellectual compatibility, end up staying together.” - Helen Fisher
8 Signs of Sexual Tension (And What It Really Means)
Sexual tension exists when two people are physically attracted to one another, want to be physical with each other, but hold back for one reason or another. Sexual tension is the unspoken and unresolved desire between two people in any given moment. There is a bit of excitement around sexual tension because it’s often with someone you are not supposed to have those feelings for, like a friend, a coworker, or someone who is already taken.
Being that sexual tension is most often found in groups of friends or in the workplace, it can develop out of almost nowhere. One day you are buddies and the next day your heart races when you look at each other and you start to see them differently.
You may not be sure if your friend is feeling the pull that you are but when sexual tension exists there will be signs. Here are the 8 signs of sexual tension.
8 Signs Of Sexual Tension
Eye Contact
When there is sexual tension between two people there is a lot of direct, intense eye contact. Your eyes will show your desire for each other and the fire you feel inside. Your eyes will betray you.
Butterflies In The Stomach
Sexual tension between you and another will make you feel giddy and give you butterflies in the stomach. You will feel like a teenager again, in the best, most exciting way possible.
Awkward Interactions
Some relationships have sexual tension from the start, while others have it develop over time. When sexual tension exists you can become unsure of how to act in front of each other. You want to hide your desire and play it cool so things start to feel super awkward.
You Get Physically Close
The sexual tension exists because you two are physically attracted to each other and deep down want to sleep together. For one reason or another you two are not moving in that direction yet so you choose the next best thing and that is getting physically close to one another.
Casual Touches
You want to touch each other any time you can. Whether it’s just a touch of the fingers when passing something to the other or a casual hand on the back or arm as a greeting or a goodbye. You cannot do what you really want to them so you will settle for any physical interaction you can get.
You Flirt With Innuendos
When there is sexual tension between two people it will often reflect in their communications with each other. When you are around each other you cannot stop thinking about how much you want them which starts to leak out in conversation, emails, and texts with comments and jokes that seem to be of a more sexual nature.
Others Notice
When there is sexual tension between two people it is usually felt by those around them as well. It is palpable. Others will notice that there is something between you two, and some may even comment. It’s hard to hide an intense attraction for someone for an extended period of time when around others
You Just Know It
You know that you are attracted to them, and that you desire them, and you can feel their desire and attraction to you as well. They are sending you vibes and your gut is telling you everything you need to know.
What To Do About Your Sexual Tension
When sexual tension exists, there is a certain level of anticipation and excitement between the two people. Brain chemicals kick into overdrive, and the body reacts. A dopamine high hits, and adrenaline pumps.
When dealing with sexual tension between you and another, you really only have three options. The first option is to ignore the sexual tension. You may choose to ignore it because you actually like the current status quo. You are not ready to make a decision to move things to the next level, but you are enjoying the sexual tension and feelings it gives you.
The sexual tension and attraction may fizzle out over time on their own, which may mean it was never meant to be. Maybe you realize it was never about the person but the excitement from the fact that the relationship was taboo. No more dopamine hits and no more desire for them.
The second option is to discuss it and get it all out in the open. The conversation may be awkward, but if someone doesn’t make a move and ask the other out and address the sexual “elephant” in the room, then you will remain in a never-ending cycle of flirting and giddiness.
Life is too short to remain in limbo, so eventually something should happen one way or another.
The final and best option is consummation. The buildup of the sexual tension can mean a powerful sexual encounter once it actually happens. Of course, this will likely involve option two to some degree, but it doesn’t require some long-drawn-out discussion.
If the moment is right, and opportunity strikes, no words may be necessary. Your eyes and body language will do the talking, and the rest will hopefully be mind-blowing.
What are your thoughts on dealing with sexual tension? Do you address it, ignore it, or hope things unfold naturally somehow? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Whatever we have, whatever “this” is, I’m not quite sure. I don’t really know. It doesn’t have a name. But I like it. It makes me feel silly, and vulnerable, loved, valued, and above all it makes me feel good. All at once.” ― Unknown
8 Signs He's Falling Hard for You (And May Not Even Realize It)
Being in love is a wonderful feeling but when you are truly loved by that special someone there is something just magical about it. Crazy in love makes you feel, well a little crazy, but in the best way possible. And having that love returned by your crush or the guy you love makes you feel all gooey inside.
Sometimes you can be dating a guy or in a relationship and it feels like he is just going through the motions. Other times you can feel completely and totally loved even though the words may not have been spoken. If you are trying to figure out if he is as crazy about you as you are about him there are signs to look for.
8 Signs He’s Falling Hard For You
He Can’t Stay Away
When a man is crazy about you he cannot stay away for very long. He wants to see you, every day. He misses you when apart and if he can’t see you face to face he will want to FaceTime with you, talk on the phone, or just text with you. Anything to be near, talk to, or to see the face of the woman he’s crazy about.
Needs To Connect With You
A guy who is crazy about you will want to continually connect with you in some way. Whether it’s a physical connection and in person, or just a phone call or text, he desperately craves interaction with his love. His desire to connect is also about the mental, intellectual, and emotional connections you two have created.
Wants To Touch You
When a guy is crazy about you he will want to touch you a lot, and the touching will not be just about sex. When together he cannot keep himself from just kissing you or holding your hand, or just touching your hair. He wants to physically connect with you and express his feelings through touch. He would also love for these actions to be reciprocated.
He Can’t Stop Talking About You
A guy who is crazy about you will talk about you constantly without him even realizing it is happening. Your name comes out of his mouth constantly. He’s not doing it on purpose but he cannot help himself.
You are always on his mind. Plus he just likes talking about you and saying your name. Others tend to notice how frequently he mentions you.
He’s Willing To Change For You
None of us are perfect and a guy who is crazy about you may recognize he has some work to do if he wants to be with you. There could be some things about him that don’t necessarily mesh well with you and out of care for you, he is willing to change some behaviors or at least compromise to meet you halfway.
He’s Tolerating Your Crazy
When crazy about someone we tend to give them a pass on behaviors that we would find annoying or dealbreakers in others. You are far from perfect. You can be indecisive, moody, and you also snore, but he doesn’t care because he is crazy about you and loves you for you.
He Tells You
A guy who is crazy about you will have a hard time keeping his feelings to himself for long. A man who is serious about a future with you will never make you question where you stand with him. A guy who is crazy about you and in love with you will tell you his feelings because he doesn’t want to risk losing you.
You Just Know It
A man’s body language and actions will tell you everything you need to know about how he truly feels about you. The way he looks at you says it all. His eyes will show the depth of his feelings, as will his behavior. A man who is crazy about you will be consistent in his courtship and treatment of you.
When a man is crazy about you, he will be willing to be vulnerable and all in. He knows that letting you know how much you mean to him may give you the upper hand, but he won’t care because you are not a game to him. He cares about you and being with you, and expressing his feelings for you will start a new chapter in your relationship.
So while you will be able to tell how he feels about you, he won’t keep you waiting on confirmation.
What are your thoughts on the signs of a man crazy about you? Do you agree with the signs? How do you tell if a guy is crazy about you? Please share your advice or experience!
When you find someone, who can make you laugh. Smile. Grow. Lust. Want. Crave. Feel. Make you mad but happy. Keep that. That’s euphoria. - Unknown
Why You Crave Him: The Science Behind Pheromones, Attraction, and Emotional Chemistry
Sometimes a guy comes along, and you find him irresistible. Literally irresistible. I mean, you can barely stop yourself from pouncing on him like a wild animal catching its prey. Intense attraction is just not about how good looking someone is. In fact
There is just something about him, but you cannot explain it. He isn’t necessarily the most handsome man you have ever met, but still you are drawn to him. You crave him in every way. When you see him, or just think about him, you want to do things with him and to him that even shock you.
So what is it about him, and why do you desire him so badly? There is a lot of science behind why we are attracted to someone. Is it chemistry, is it psychology, or is it possibly the pheromone effect?
The Science of Attraction
Attraction is a mix of biology, chemistry, and psychology that happens very fast in our brains. It involves three main stages driven by different body systems: lust, attraction, and deep attachment.
Lust - Driven by sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen, creating a basic physical desire for others.
Attraction - fueled by brain chemicals like dopamine (reward) and norepinephrine (energy and racing heart) that make you feel excited and focused on a specific person.
Deep Attachment - oxytocin and vasopressin, which build long-term safety, comfort, and deep bonds.
The combination of lust, attraction, and deep attachment can form a powerful mental, emotional, and physical pull towards someone.
The Pheromone Effect
A pheromone is a chemical that animals produce, which changes the behavior of another animal of the same species. Pheromones can trigger behaviors, and is known as behavior-altering agents.
Although the pheromone effect in nature is known to trigger behaviors such as fear and mating in animals and insects, the affects on human behavior is more theory and continues to be studied.
While the affects of pheromones in humans is up for debate by some, others believe in the power of pheromones so strongly that they have bottled pheromones. Some people call pheromones a love potion, and whether or not you are a believer, for about $100 you can buy and spray on some sex appeal to attract the one you desire.
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How Does The Pheromone Effect Work
Some studies have shown that for humans it’s all about smell. Our olfactory receptors can detect odors and smells on a subconscious level. Smells that you are completely unaware of. Just take a man’s perspiration for example.
By a man’s sweat, a woman may be able to detect a man’s testosterone level, which may make her crave his sperm and want to mate with him. It is a very primal reaction.
Humans are, after all, just animals. Animals who have learned to control and suppress their animal instincts.
Are you a believer in the pheromone effect? I am. The pheromone effect is separate from compatibility and attraction, although the two can overlap. Is it pheromones that create amazing emotional and sexual chemistry between two people? Probably. But it’s also a boatload of psychology, history, and chemical reactions happening in your brain.
What are your thoughts on the science of attraction and the pheromone effect? It’s a lot to take in, but in my opinion, it does make sense when you think about it. The rush you feel, the increased heart rate, and the butterflies in your stomach are physical responses to an emotional feeling. Have you ever had an unexplainable pull or attraction to someone? Have you ever used a pheromone spray? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, great and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
6 Signs He's Flirting With You (And It's More Than Just Friendliness)
For some of you, this topic is a no-brainer. But others will swear they can never tell. Maybe you are always certain whether someone is flirting with you or just being polite. In my experience, different men use different tactics to show their interest in a woman. Some men and women are not even aware of how their actions and behaviors change when they are interested and attracted to someone and naturally start flirting.
The dating game and the process of meeting someone and starting something new can feel like a game of cat and mouse. Everyone tries to read the other and plot their next move. This process can also be filled with uncertainty. Is he really interested in me? Is he hitting on me?
When a man is interested and flirting with you, there are some sure signs of his intentions. You just need to know what to look for.
Signs He’s Flirting With You
He Gets Close
When a guy is hitting on you he will try to get as physically close to you as possible. I don’t mean in a gross, creepy kind of way. I mean he will want to be standing or sitting in close proximity to you. He wants you to be aware of presence.
He wants to be close enough to you to smell your perfume, stare into your eyes, and create some contact.
He Stares Into Your Eyes
Eye contact is a good way to establish a connection. Plus, when he is interested and flirting with you, he will want to stare into your eyes. The eyes send a strong message of interest or a lack of it. The amount of eye contact will depend on the personality of your guy.
A man who is more bold and aggressive may hold eye contact with you for a long time. While a guy is who is shy or unsure of your interest is more likely to make eye contact, look away, and then make eye contact again.
He Makes Lame Jokes
A man who is hitting on you will make attempts at being charming. One of the ways he will do this is by trying to be the funny man. When a guy is hitting on you he will try to show his cutesy, laid back side, which will include some jokes.
He knows that if he can get you to laugh, or at least smile, and he will have a shot.
He Lightly Touches You
He is hitting on you because he is attracted to you. And because he is attracted to you, he will want to touch you. He may lightly touch your arm, your hands, or even your lower back. He will use any excuse to try to make physical contact with you.
He is also looking for your reaction to his touch. If you retract from his touch he will know, or should know, that you are not interested. Whereas if he is close enough to you that your arms or legs brush one another, and you do not create space between you two, that you might be interested as well.
Offers To Help You
When a man is hitting on you he will try to be your knight in shining armor. He will offer to buy your drinks, carry things for you, help you move, and even do your work or homework. He wants to be there for you, and show you that he is a reliable, dependable gentleman.
If he is a co-worker he may bring you a coffee in the morning, offer to buy you lunch, and they will always want to help you with a work project.
Tries To Entice You
A man flirting with you will want you to feel just as attracted to him as he is to you. He wants to look hot for you. He will take extra care with his appearance. He may wear cologne, flex his muscles, and flash his pearly whites.
When you think about it, when a man is hitting on you, he is usually pretty obvious. When in doubt, listen to your gut, trust your instincts, and if all else fails, refer to this blog for the signs a man is hitting on you.
What are your thoughts on the signs of a man hitting on you? Do you agree with my signs? What signs do you look for? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“The law of attraction says that like attracts like, and when you think and feel what you want to attract on the inside, the law will use people, circumstances, and events to magnetize what you want.” - Rhonda Byrne
How Two Type A Personalities Can Build a Healthy Relationship
It’s no secret that in order to have a healthy, successful relationship, you will need to be able to compromise with your partner. However, it is also no secret that some people are far less willing to compromise than others, relationship or not.
In relationships, one half of the couple tends to be more assertive and takes the lead, so to speak, while the other partner may be more passive or less decisive. But what happens when both partners are assertive decision-makers who like to have their own way?
What is a Type A personality? A Type A personality is a behavior pattern marked by high ambition, intense competitiveness, a constant sense of time urgency, and a strong drive to succeed. Coined in the 1950s by cardiologists, it describes a high-stress, fast-paced approach to life rather than a formal medical diagnosis
Type A personality individuals tend to be outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. Type A personalities are often successful and hard-working.
So the question I pose is, “ can two Type A’s be able to make a relationship work?” Will a relationship of two Type A’s lack the balance all relationships need? Possibly. Or can two Type A’s who are extremely compatible strike the right balance and make things work? I have always believed that compatibility and chemistry are the most important elements for a lasting relationship.
I think two Type A’s can find everlasting love, and here’s how they would do it.
How To Make It Work With Two Type A Personalities
Choose Your Battles
We all like to have things our own way, but not all “wants” are that big of a deal to you, so why battle for it? Meaning, let the little things go, but speak up and stand up for what counts. If you don’t care all that much about where you go for dinner then let your partner pick, but if the new bedroom wall color matters then make your feelings known.
Be Considerate
Think about what your partner likes, wants, and needs. Let it be about them sometimes without it having to be a discussion or a fight. You are both Type A’s so you are known for speaking your mind. For example, you know a wet towel on the floor drives your partner crazy, and even though you don’t think it’s a big deal, you make the effort to pick up your towel.
There will be issues in your relationship that are not a big deal to you, such as a wet towel on the floor, but it costs you nothing to hang up the towel and avoid frustrating your partner.
Be Mature
Relationship maturity is as much about understanding yourself as it is about understanding your partner. As we grow, we learn, hopefully. Take the high road in disagreements, and fight fair because with your aggressive personalities things could get pretty heated with two Type A’s.
Communicate
Good communication is always a must for any healthy relationship, but with two Type A personalities the communication needs to be stepped up a notch because you both may be used to doing more talking than listening.
Respect Them
The Type A personality types are badasses. They are go-getters, who are often fearless. Give each other the kudos you deserve, respect who they are, and do not ask them to be less than they are for you.
Two mature Type A personalities in a relationship make the ultimate power couple. They know how to play off of each other’s strengths, and they understand the importance of knowing when to lead in the relationship, when to take a backseat, and when to allow their partner to shine.
What are your thoughts on two Type A’s making a relationship work? Are you a type A in a relationship with another type A? Is this relationship possible in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” – Kavita Ramdas
Is Love at First Sight Real? What Psychology Says About Instant Attraction
Love at first sight is a phenomenon. You see someone across a crowded room and feel an instant connection and a gut feeling that this person is who you were meant to be with.
Fortunately, luck would have it that the one you fell in love with at first sight just so happens to be hot or gorgeous. No coincidence there, right?
Love, at first sight, is rare, but do you believe it can actually happen? Many will poo poo the concept of love at first sight, and rightfully so, in my opinion.
I mean after all, what could we possibly know about someone after just one sighting or meeting? But others are firm believers that it can happen, mainly because it has happened to them.
Movies and literature would have you believe that love at first happens all of the time and will lead to a “happily ever after” ending.
I mean, after all, didn’t Cinderella get her glass slipper after just one encounter? A moment in time can be wonderful, but what happens when reality sets in?
Here’s What Psychology Says About Love At First Sight
Most psychologists stress the importance of distinguishing attraction from love. People can form first impressions in milliseconds. Within seconds of meeting someone, your brain is already evaluating their body language, facial expressions, their voice, and yes, their level of attractiveness. There is also a perceived familiarity and trustworthiness with this attractive stranger. The immediate reaction to your initial assessment can be powerful and feel like love, but psychologists will say it is likely just attraction.
Psychologists say you can absolutely experience attraction, chemistry, and a profound sense of connection at first sight. Whether it becomes love depends on what happens afterward.
How Biology Plays A Part
That instant attraction you feel is not just happening in your heart and eyes; it’s happening in your brain. The dopamine hit you get when the initial attraction happens is an electric feeling. You feel excited and energized by the feeling. The oxytocin hit you get from being in close proximity to this person will make you feel bonded to them and more physically attracted to them.
Is Love At First Sight Possible?
Reasons To Believe In Love At First Sight
Instant Attraction
Amazing Chemistry
Soulmates
Gut Feeling
Reasons To Not Believe In Love At First Sight
Based Solely On Physical Attributes
Unknown Commonality
Masks Are Still On
You Can’t Love What You Do Not Know
I have often heard love at first sight referred to as “lust” at first sight, and I have to agree. While I have personally never felt like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight, I have had that instant attraction.
I have experienced seeing someone from across the room and feeling a strong emotion as our eyes met. The next time our paths crossed we hit it off and dated for a couple of years. Was it love at first sight? No, it was not love because I didn’t know him, I desired him. Big difference in my opinion.
Would it surprise you to know that more than 50 percent of people believe in love at first sight? It surprised me quite honestly. It just goes to show how much we link feelings of love to physical attraction, at least initially. I say initially because we tend to find people more or less attractive as we get to know them, which I think disproves the possibility of love at first.
What I believe can happen is that an initial attraction and fascination can grow and turn into everlasting love.
What are your thoughts on love at first sight? Are you a believer or a cynic? Has it ever happened to you? Can it be love at first sight if the feeling is only one-sided? Please share your story and experience!
“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” - Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces Of You
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5 Signs He May Be Cheating (And How to Respond Wisely)
Trust is everything in a relationship. It is a miserable feeling when you think your partner may be stepping out on you. Chances are, if you are suspicious you have a pretty good reason to be so.
It's that gut feeling, and really just knowing your man. If something feels off, then that it is because something is off.
It is a big leap to go from having a suspicion to accusing. I had the unfortunate experience many years ago of playing detective in a relationship, and as much as I enjoy being right, I had hoped to be wrong in that situation.
The truth is, if you think he's cheating, he probably is. Or at least he wants to, or is thinking about it.
The 5 Signs Of Cheating
He Seems Distant
The distance you feel can come in the form of physical as well, but he is mostly going to be mentally and emotionally distant. He is no longer open with you and is not interested in you.
He is not interested in talking to you very much, and when he does talk to you, he is barely listening or engaged.
Physically he can avoid you by working late or avoiding your home life. He may also create distance by sleeping on the couch, or coming to bed after you have already turned in for the night.
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You Catch Him In Lies
Being lied to is infuriating and hurtful when it’s someone you really love and trust, but if he’s cheating, the lies are the biggest telltale. He is not where he said he was going to be or suddenly becomes unreachable and perhaps even stops sharing his location. He is suddenly working later and is not home when he said he would be. You casually ask him about his whereabouts, and you don’t buy his story. You can tell he's lying to you even though you cannot prove it.
He Avoids Intimacy
He avoids your touch and is no longer very affectionate. Kisses, hand holding, and cuddling are a thing of the past. He rarely initiates sex anymore, when once upon a time he couldn't keep his hands off of you.
When you do have sex with him, he is not there mentally. He seems to be a million miles away, and possibly even thinking of someone else.
A big sign of intimacy avoidance is failing to look you in the eyes. Gazing into each other’s eyes is extremely intimate and creates a connection. Failure to make that eye contact shows that he may be emotionally checked out of the relationship and focused elsewhere.
He's Secretive
If your partner suddenly becomes secretive, he is definitely hiding something. He doesn't allow you to see his phone, his emails, or his wallet. If you walk into the room unexpectedly, he will quickly close his laptop or close out of things on his computer. He has changed passwords and gets defensive when you ask questions.
The Relationship Feels Off
The relationship feels off, but is there someone else? Is he really cheating? Your partner has become different, almost like a stranger to you. It feels off because it is. You sense that he is no longer into you; he is no longer in love with you and is just going through the motions. Yes, he could just have something personal going on that he is not sharing, but I am also big on trusting instincts.
What To Do
First off, don’t freak out. You may want to freak out, but you need to keep a clear head. You do not want to act out of emotion and anger (yes, I know it’s easier said than done) and accuse your partner of something they just may be innocent of.
You have options if you think you are being cheated on. The first is to confront the situation directly and ask your partner if they are having an affair, including emotional and online affairs. Of course, this is the scariest option because you may not get the answer or response you are hoping for, but for many of us it is better to know.
There is also the big possibility that he is going to lie because he's not quite ready to call it quits and leave the comfortable home life.
You could take a more conservative approach, and just discuss your concerns about how you feel the relationship has changed, and tell your partner how it makes you feel.
The positive to this approach is that it puts your feelings out there, but if he is already done and emotionally closed to you, this conversation will go nowhere. In fact, the discussion may annoy him and give him an excuse to grab his keys and go get some "fresh air".
The last option is to play detective. This is probably the most mentally anguishing and painful choice to make, but you may find the answers you need. You clearly do not trust him, and will drive yourself nuts trying to find evidence that there is someone else, all the while hoping there is no evidence.
The positive is that you may not find a smoking gun, but the negative is that your gut is telling you he is involved or in love with someone else.
The Reality
A cheater is not likely to admit to cheating. They will usually lie through their teeth, until you have indisputable evidence of their infidelity. Trust your instincts in this case, because chances are your gut is on to something. They are cheating or thinking about it.
Counseling is usually recommended for marital issues, including infidelity. Of course this would mean that your man has come clean about his cheating, and is willing to do the work to get the relationship back on track.
I suppose the "positive" in the case of marital infidelity is that a man is statistically unlikely to leave his marriage for his lover. However, the negative in this matter is his motivation for staying in the marriage. A man will stay for financial reasons, for the kids, and to maintain a status and the appearance of a happy family life.
The 5 signs listed are not all inclusive. In fact, you may find that your man becomes extra nice and buys you gifts to help him alleviate his guilt. He may also have a revved-up sex drive with you to cover up his extra activities, and also to relieve his pent-up sexual desires because he cannot have the other woman in the moment.
We all have our relationship deal breakers, and only you know what is tolerable and acceptable for you. Many relationships survive infidelity, but I am not sure if anyone ever gets over the broken trust, and feelings of betrayal.
What are your thoughts on cheating? What signs do you consider red flags? Please share your experience!
"No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." - Unknown