5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Not all relationships last. Many relationships run their natural course and end amicably, while others crash and burn. In some relationships, you walk away from it a better person than when it started, and with other relationships, you leave thinking “what the heck” just happened.

In my opinion, no one should ever be blindsided by the end of a romantic relationship because the signs are always there. Always. But if you are unsure that what you are seeing are signs that your relationship is in trouble and heading towards its demise, here are the signs to look for.

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Avoidance

You don’t spend time with them or they don’t want to spend time with you. Time together is no longer enjoyable. Time together is an annoyance; a burden. So what do you do, you avoid them altogether. You spend time with others. You focus on your kids, your work, or your hobbies. Anything to distract from your dissatisfaction with your relationship.

Avoidance is passive-aggressive behavior and the most common sign that a relationship is on its last legs.

Annoyance

Every little thing you or they do annoys the other person. The tolerance level for imperfection is extremely low and the person cannot seem to do anything right in the eyes of the partner who wants out.

The annoyance sign tends to be extremely hurtful because you feel like you cannot do anything right and your partner will basically tell you so. They become dismissive and often verbally or emotionally abusive.

Do not tolerate abuse.

Infrequent or No Intimacy

Any intimacy feels forced and like a chore. They don’t want to hug, kiss, or show any form of affection, and when they do, it feels cold and insincere. They may have trouble even saying “I love you”.

Maybe you have very long dry spells of no bedroom action, or perhaps you have started to sleep separately. Someone conveniently sleeping on the couch or not coming to bed until long after their partner has gone to sleep is a big sign.

No Communication

Communication is terrible at best and non-existent at its worst. You two are not communicating your feelings, emotions, or desires. You are doing whatever you want to do, without discussion or consideration for your partner.

In the past, you would text if you were running late or double-check with your partner before making plans. However, in your new relationship reality, the courtesy discussions and agreements do not happen.

This is a sign that they are starting to see themselves as a “me”, not a “we”.

Personality Changes

Maybe they have not changed but you are certainly seeing a different of side them. You are seeing a side that is not interested in your happiness, your opinions, or your feelings. You wonder where the old them have gone, but they make no apologies or excuses for the change, and instead just tell you “this is who they are” and expect you to accept it or not.

This sign may consist of a lot of gaslighting but it is also laced with invitations to end the relationship so they don’t have to.

When you know, you know. And when it’s over, it is over. Relationships can get to a point of no return, and it is important to recognize when you are there. And once you recognize it, tell yourself it is okay to let go. You will need to let go for your own mental and emotional well-being. Remember your worth and know that sometimes being alone and happy can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever have.

What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any of these signs or issues in a relationship? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

Relationships…5 Types of Men To Choose Your Own Adventure With

Despite popular belief, humans do not have to mate for life. The thought of being with the same person sounds comforting, or horrendous, depending on where you fall on the commitment scale, but given the frequency of cheating and divorce, is mating for life natural?

Many people are waiting longer to get married or choosing not to tie the knot at all. For those on the fence about long-term committed relationships, marriage or not, I recommend the “choose your own adventure” tactic to try out mini relationships.

The goal is to try out guys with different personalities and interests, instead of the types you usually go for. Experiment, have fun, and find out what type of relationship brings you the most satisfaction, emotionally, mentally, or physically.

5 Different Types of Men… Choose Your Own Adventure With One Or All Of Them

The Adventurous Guy

The adventurous guy is the one you travel and you try new things with. He is fun and exciting but not too keen on commitment. He may be an adrenaline junky but fresh, new, and exciting is what he craves.

He’s perfect for getting you out of your shell and getting you to try new things without any pressure. He doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. And you shouldn’t take him too seriously either. This guy won’t settle down and has a short attention span. Enjoy him while it lasts because it will not last long.

The Bedroom Guy

It’s pretty obvious what you would do with the bedroom guy. He’s your booty call on speed dial. He comes when beckoned, is very eager to please, and always leaves you satisfied. If he leaves you with more to be desired, lose his number.

But otherwise, enjoy the carefree, no strings attached bedroom adventures with a man who loves to give, as much as he loves to receive in the bedroom. Now, the bedroom guy may not be a keeper, but he may be worth a repeat visit.

The Proper Guy

The proper guy is smart, and successful, and makes for a great date to a work event or something you have to attend with someone who will blend in. The proper guy is aloof, private, and not particularly affectionate, especially in public.

Where the proper guy lacks in excitement, he makes up for in reliability. He is dependable and honest, and he is a gentleman. These are not bad qualities to have in a mate but if you are easily bored, he is not the one.

The Fun Buddy

The fun buddy is the guy you go out to get drinks with, have over to veg out in front of the television or take as your plus one to a wedding. The fun buddy is a good time, always makes you laugh, and there is never any drama with him.

The downside with the fun buddy is that he can be irresponsible, immature, and unfocused. He’s a good time, but not the most reliable guy. He does not do serious situations very well and is uncomfortable with complex emotions. He likes to keep things light, which can be a good thing, most of the time.

The Polyamorous Experimental Guy

The polyamorous guy likes to spread his affection around. Polyamory would never be for me because I do not like to share but I do see the advantages of the relationship. Relationships can be tiresome, demanding, and boring, so having someone else there to take up the slack or step in when you need a break might be nice. Although I’m still not sharing someone I call my man, I can’t lie and say I don’t see the appeal.

A relationship with two men at once and everything is out in the open sounds like an interesting concept. But as a woman, and a wife, it also sounds like a lot of work. A guy who is polyamorous is greedy and not likely to be satisfied for very long with the love of just one woman, so you should always expect to share him.

To be clear, this is not an anti-marriage blog. Do what you want! But since conventional wisdom is changing on the concept of monogamy, marriage, and committed relationships, I think it is worth it to have the conversation. Of course, this is not Divergent, and people are multi-faceted and layered, but they all have prevailing traits. Find out which is more for you, or you can just keep trying them all. Do you!

What are your thoughts on trying out the 5 types of men? Do you already know your type? Or are you perhaps open to seeing who else is out there who you have not considered that may fulfill you in a new and different way? Please share your thoughts and experience.

“There are three different types of men in this world: There are weak men- men who run and hide when life slaps them in the ass. Then, there are men- men who have a backbone, yet occasionally, then life slaps them in the ass, will rely on others. And then, there are real men- men who don't cry or complain, who don't just have a backbone, then are the backbone. Men who make their own decisions and live with the consequences and who accept responsibility for their actions or words. Men who, when life slaps them in the ass, slap back and move on.” - Madeline Sheehan

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7 Signs He Truly Loves You

Being in love is such a wonderful feeling. It’s not just about how you feel about the other person, but also about how they make you feel about yourself and as a couple.

When you feel truly loved by someone you feel supported, and happy, and special. Being loved by that certain someone is like having a secret super power. I mean you were already awesome, but their love just somehow gives you an extra something.

You feel in love with them, and they tell you that they love you too. It is always nice to hear the words “I love you” from someone you love, but at the end of the day that’s all they are, just words. Actions are more of a true reflections of someone’s thoughts and feelings.

People can say anything, but real love requires effort and more than lip service. There are some undeniable signs that he truly loves you.

7 Signs He Truly Loves You

He Is Affectionate

The way he looks at you. The way he talks to you. The way he touches you. His body language and his non-sexual interactions with you will show you how much he cares.

He Cares About Your Happiness

A man who truly loves you will want you to be happy, even if that means an inconvenience or sacrifice on his part. You being happy makes him happy too. Your happiness is a priority to him.

He Is Supportive

A man who truly loves you will be your one man cheering section and your biggest fan. He will give you words of encouragement and will lift you up when you are feeling down. When he loves you, he is proud of you and believes in you.

He Is Protective

A man who loves you will be very protective of you. He will never want to see you hurting, and will always come to your defense. He also takes care to not be a source of pain for you by treating you with respect, and minding his actions and words.

He Is Thoughtful

A man who loves is always thinking of you. When he is out and about without you, many things will bring you to his mind. A song on the radio, a scent in the air, or even a location you once visited. He truly listens to you when you talk and remembers what you say and what you like.

He will pick up your favorite flowers for you just because, or fill up your gas tank without you asking.

He “Sees” You

A man can only truly love you if he sees and accepts the real you. If a man has seen the worst of you and still looks deep and lovingly into your eyes with no judgement he truly loves you.

He Misses You When Apart

It’s so cute how much a man in love misses you when you are apart. A man who truly loves you will miss you like crazy when he is away from you. He may not say it, but the phone calls, and texts he sends when you two are apart is his way of telling you he misses you.

Being in love is about an emotional connection. The connection is either there or it isn’t. When a man is in love with you it is usually pretty obvious whether he says the words or not. Strangers will be able to pick up on his love and adoration for you. It is quite special and sweet.

Are you able to recognize when a man truly loves you? Hearing the words is nice, but don’t get caught up in words. His actions are far more important and telling than any three words could ever be. So what are your thoughts on recognizing a man in love? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you.” – John Legend

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Betrayal By Your Partner...5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Them A Second Chance

Not everyone deserves a second chance. Some deeds are just unforgivable, and no one should feel obligated to forgive people who do them wrong. This is especially the case in romantic, intimate relationships.

Does choosing not to forgive someone who has hurt or betrayed make you a bad person? I say who cares. Will forgiving the betrayal give you closure or make the betrayal hurt less deep inside? Depends on you.

Whether or not you choose to forgive your mate or cut them from life, it is a completely different decision from giving them a second chance. If you are trying to decide whether or not to give someone a second chance ask yourself these questions.

5 Questions To Ask Before Giving Them A Second Chance

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Are They Owning Their Mistake?

In order to move forward and past a betrayal in a relationship, it is important for the partner at fault to own their actions and take responsibility. If your partner cannot or will not admit to their mistake, they are likely to repeat it.

Failure of a mate to take responsibility for their hurtful behaviors may be indicative of a lack of remorse for their actions, and lack of respect for their partner.

Are They Willing To Change?

If your partner has behaviors that contributed to their betrayal, whether it’s drinking or hanging out with bad influences, they need to be willing to change for second chances to be offered.

If your partner is unwilling to change they will repeat the same behaviors, or similar behaviors, and hurt you again.

Have They Made Promises Before?

Is this most recent betrayal a first? Or have they promised in the past to do better and be better? If your partner has repeatedly hurt and betrayed you in the past, only to say sorry, cry, beg forgiveness, and then do it all over again, they are not deserving of a second, third, and definitely not a fourth chance.

They have shown you they are not trustworthy or deserving of your love and commitment.

Do You Still Trust Them?

Trust is earned over time, but can be lost in a moments bad decision. In your heart of hearts, do you still trust your mate? If your partner has betrayed you, and you want to be able to forgive them and move on, but you no longer trust them, a second chance may not be in order.

A relationship without trust isn’t much of a relationship.

Do You Still Love Them?

Once a love betrays you, you will never see them the same again. After the betrayal, can you say that you still love them or would you be staying be out of obligation, fear of the unknown, or feeling you have already invested too much time to move on.

If you don’t feel love for them anymore, or even worse you resent or hate them, maybe it is time to move on.

Once a betrayal has been committed in your relationship, it is impossible not to see your partner differently. No one is entitled to be in your life, and you are not required to forgive them, although for your own emotional well being you will need to be able let go and move on.

Some couples are able to forgive and move on. Some will even say they are stronger after the betrayal, to which I say “if you say so”. Giving a betrayer a second chance is a very personal decision. It’s a decision that maybe others may not understand, but it’s your relationship so they don’t need to.

What are you thoughts on second chances and forgiving a betrayal? Please share your story and experience!

“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” - Suzanne Collins

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