6 Signs Of Love Bombing... What Is Love Bombing and Why You Need To Stay Away From Love Bombers

Love bombing is a newer term for an old tactic. A Prince Charming or Fairy Princess comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. They give you everything you thought you wanted in a relationship and more. They make you feel loved and special and seen. They seem almost perfect. Almost too good to be true.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. - Wikipedia

Love bombing is so effective because it plays into our fantasies of what romance and relationships should be. The hope of finding your one true love and the person who just gets you. The problem is that love bombers hide behind tactics to deceive and make their victims believe that they are different and offer something different when in reality they are terrible mates and have very little to offer a partner in the long run.

6 Signs of Love Bombing

Rushes The Relationship

After two dates, they are declaring their love for you and want to move in together. They want to meet your friends and family right away even though you two are still getting to know one another. They say you are soulmates and insist you two are meant to be.

You may even hear them spout the term, “when you know, you know” to justify the fast-moving relationship, and the demands they are making of you.

Excessive Attention

A love bomber will give you more attention than you ever had from any other romantic partner before. They will want you to spend all of your time with them. If they are not with you, they are texting, calling, and yes even tracking your whereabouts.

Excessive Affection

A love bomber cannot get enough of you. They will want to constantly kiss you, hold you, and be intimate with you. They do not respect boundaries. You are not one for public displays of affection but they will want to stake their claim on you for everyone else to see.

Lots of Gifts

A love bomber is very generous. They are overly generous actually, and right from the start. Dinners, flowers, trips, and lots and lots of gifts. They are sending flowers to your place of work so everyone can see. They will take you out on expensive dates, and they will buy you gifts and jewelry that is inappropriate for the stage of your relationship.

They are luring you in with a false promise of their generosity and giving nature when in all actuality they are the opposite. They are actually selfish.

Puts You On A Pedestal

A love bomber will tell you how wonderful and perfect you are, but also make you feel like they are the only one who appreciates you and sees your worth. They will make you feel like a hero but also like your value is attached to them and your relationship with them.

Acts As Your Protector

We all want to feel protected when we are vulnerable, but a love bomber will make you feel like there is a boogie man behind every corner and only they can protect you. Suddenly, they are convincing you that everyone is the enemy, including your family and friends.

They only want you to trust them. They will try to convince you that people you have known long before them are untrustworthy and manipulative, and want you to cut them out of your life for your own good.

Love bombers are really just your standard manipulative narcissists. They seem different than anyone else you have ever known before, at first. But as the mask slips away, and you peel back the layers, you may find that you have been duped. All of the above signs are red flags and the classic bait and switch tactics of love bombers.

What are your thoughts on love bombing? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get away from that situation? Please share your story!

“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that's often described by survivors as a kind of 'love-bombing'. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”
― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence

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Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker

We all spend so much of our time at work. Work can be stressful and draining, and honestly sometimes boring. So, when we meet someone at work who makes the mundane workday seem less dull, and more fun and exciting, we may gravitate towards them.

Falling for them may be easy, even if you have a “no dating coworkers” rule. There is just something about them that says, “to hell with my rule”, and that they are worth breaking it. They may be worth it. You never know.

Finding someone is great but in reality, dating someone you work with has far more cons than pros.

Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker

Dating a Coworker Looks Unprofessional

Real life is not Grey’s Anatomy. In reality, it is frowned upon to date coworkers as it is considered unprofessional and tends to create unnecessary drama and distractions in the workplace.

Depending on the profession and workplace, and the positions of those involved, there may be issues of favoritism, nepotism, and unfair labor practices. Basically, it creates a human resources nightmare. Not a good look for someone hoping to move up in the company.

Dating a Coworker Creates Workplace Drama

You and your partner normally go to lunch together, but the day after a fight you are ignoring each other and creating a bit of workplace tension. Relationships naturally have ups and downs but when you also work with your partner it can be very hard to leave the drama at home. Romance and anger are likely to show up in one form or another at work.

Having time apart from a partner is a good thing but when you work together, time apart is challenging, if not impossible.

Other Coworkers Will Be In Your Business

Everyone has an opinion on your relationship. A workplace relationship gets added to the rest of the workplace gossip. Your relationship is under constant scrutiny, with continuous speculation of its status.

Coworkers may take notice that you are no longer taking lunches together, or it may be noticed that one of you is spending a lot of time chatting up the attractive new receptionist.

Your relationship is technically no one’s business, but when you brought your relationship to the workplace, you made it everybody’s business whether you like it or not.

Your Workplace Relationship Won’t Last

Just like any other relationship, the odds of it lasting and them being your forever person is very low. Breakups happen. It is the nature of dating and love to come to an end, but when you work with your ex, the breakup is far more complicated.

You have to continue to be professional and pretend that all is good, even when it is not. You may have coworkers choose sides and decide to not hang out with you anymore. You may also have to watch them move on and date another coworker.

Your Workplace Relationship Is Distracting

Whether you are feeling madly in love with the newness of your relationship, or you two have split and are trying to move on, there is a degree of distraction for both of you in the workplace.

The breakup residuals and pain won’t last forever, but if you are nursing a broken heart, it may make you feel miserable to see them day after day. You may even consider leaving your job in order to distance yourself from them.

I am not saying you cannot successfully date and fall in love with a coworker, but it can be very tricky and may not be worth it in the end. The larger the company the better. Also working in different departments helps negate some coworker relationship issues.

We cannot help who we fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? But avoiding some situations, when possible, may be wise. While we cannot help who we crush on and fall for, we can do things to try to steer the heart in a different direction, such as distancing ourselves and even avoiding that certain someone whenever possible.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated a coworker? What happened? Did it work out and would you ever do it again? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“We started with a simple hello and ended with a complicated goodbye.” - Unknown

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6 Signs You Are Infatuated

Infatuation can happen to anyone at any age in life. Surprisingly it is not just for teens although often associated with a school crush or favorite movie star or boy band. Infatuations can and may happen periodically throughout your entire life.

I think for many of us when we think of infatuation we think of posters on the walls of our teen bedroom or doodling his or her name over and over again in our notebook. But the reality is you could be infatuated with your college professor or the barista at the corner cafe. Or maybe even infatuated with your boss or the nanny. You could even be in a committed relationship and be infatuated with someone.

When you are infatuated with someone you have strong feelings of love or passion for them that make you unable to think clearly or sensibly about them. The keywords to the infatuation definition are clearly and sensibly because we are blinded by their beauty or charm. If you are wondering if you are infatuated, here are the signs to look for.

6 Signs of Infatuation

They are Always on your Mind

The big thing with infatuation is that you cannot stop thinking about that certain person. They are always on your mind. Thoughts of them can be extremely intrusive, and almost like a drug or an addiction, you need a fix. You need to see them. You need to talk to them. You need some sort of interaction to feel better and get that emotional high they give you.

It’s crazy, but when you are infatuated by someone they are somehow always on your mind.

You Feel Sad or Depressed When You Cannot See or Interact With Them

You feel absolutely miserable when you cannot see or speak to the object of your infatuation. You know it is bad when your moods and emotional well-being are negatively impacted by not seeing them or by not talking to them.

This is such an unhealthy place to find yourself. If your infatuation is causing you emotional distress it is time to pull away and let it go if your crush has no interest in you or is unavailable to you. Pining after someone you cannot have is a miserable state to be in and no way to treat yourself. You deserve better.

You Feel Jealous and Possessive of Them

Chances are, you are not in a romantic relationship with the one you are infatuated with, but you wish you were or hope to be. Until that time, in your mind they are yours and you get very jealous at the thought or sight of them with someone you view as a romantic rival.

You feel almost an ownership of the object of your infatuation. You become hurt, sad, and even infuriated by the mere thought of them giving another man or woman attention.

You Think They Are Perfect

You see the object of your infatuation as perfect. You do not see their flaws. You do not really see them. No one is perfect but when it comes to your infatuation you are only seeing what you want to see. They can do no wrong.

You see the gorgeous guy or girl who is super sweet. But that’s it. Your assessment of their character stopped there. There is more to them than their looks and the fantasy life you created in your mind. You just have to be willing to look open your eyes to reality.

You Would Do Anything For Them

There is practically nothing they could ask you to do that you would say no to. You just want to please them. You just want to make them happy. And you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them.

Unfortunately, this tactic almost never works. Being at someone’s beck and call shows a lack of self-worth and self-respect. If you cannot love and respect yourself how can you expect others to love and respect you? Besides, would a truly great person use you and have you at their beck and call?

You Cannot Bear The Thought of Not Having Them

Your infatuation is obsessive. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend you may try to ruin it. You may even stalk them on social media or even in person. All I can say is “do not do it”. It is not worth it. He or she is not worth it. The behavior is not healthy and if they require all this effort they do not deserve you.

If you have made your feelings known and they did not reciprocate you have to let it go and move on. But you take comfort in knowing that you tried but also knowing that you cannot force a relationship. Do not worry, because you know fishes in the sea and all that.

Infatuation usually fades but can just as easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. Believe me, if you are doing any of the six signs above you are not in love. This is a phase. A passing fancy. An infatuation and it will pass. And once it does, you will likely look back and laugh and maybe even ask yourself “what were you thinking” focusing so much time and energy on that person.

What are your thoughts on being infatuated? When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? Did you get the guy or girl? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Every time he looked at me I felt like I'd touched my tongue to the tip of a battery. In art class I'd watch him lean back and listen and I was nothing but zing and tingle. After a while, the tingle turned to electricity, and when he asked me out my whole body amped to a level where technically I should have been dead. I had nothing in common with a sheddy like him, but a girl doesn't think straight when she's that close to electrocution.” ― Cath Crowley, Graffiti Moon

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Rekindling A Romance...Should You Fan Old Flames?

Life and love have lots of ups and downs and tend to leave many people wanting a do-over. If the Hallmark channel has taught me anything, it is that returning home and high school reunions are for rekindling old love and romance.

If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Some old flames needed to be put out, but others burned so hotly that years later the embers still smoldered. There are pros and cons to rekindling an old love. As time has passed, you may be remembering more of the good and forgetting a lot of the bad.

If you are considering reigniting an old flame, here are the pros and cons to consider.

Pros Of Reigniting An Old Flame

It’s Familiar

No matter how much time passes, you never forget your first love. Coming back together years later may feel like coming home. The relationship feels familiar and comfortable, and comforting in many ways. You came back together and it was like you were never apart.

It’s Feels Good

Somehow the rekindling of an old flame takes you back in time and makes you feel all giddy and silly again. The excitement and passion are crazy. You have been transported back to being that gushy twenty-something girl who doodled his name over and over again.

You’re Both Different

Whether it has been ten years or twenty-five years, you have both grown and changed. The relationship ended for a reason in the past, but people can change, and perhaps the obstacles faced before are no longer an issue.

Cons Of Reigniting An Old Flame

Both The Same

While some things change, other things also stay the same. Yes, you are both older and hopefully wiser, but you are basically still the same people. Perhaps once you get past the newness of your old relationship, old issues and problems will resurface.

Your Lives Don’t Mesh

You may have reconnected at a reunion or on Facebook, but you live thousands of miles apart and your lives don’t fit together. You both have responsibilities and neither are capable nor willing to just pick up and leave your current life to chase a possibility.

Unrealistic Expectations

While you were once the hot “it” couple, neither of you was perfect, but you may be remembering things differently. You may be disappointed to find that you no longer share the same interests, that they are not as attractive as they used to be, and you may not actually be compatible anymore.

At the end of the day, I think many of us would love a do-over with a lost love. Whether you choose to give it a go should depend on why it ended the first time and if the current man or woman before you seems worthy of a second chance. If they have a history of abuse of any kind I say absolutely do not let them back in your life but otherwise, I recommend going for it. If your heart is open and you are available, what do you really have to lose?

What are your thoughts on rekindling an old flame? Romantic or ripe for disaster? Please share your thoughts and experience!

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. - Pietro Aretino

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When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder

Love is the ultimate goal for many of us. We meet our perfect mate, and after some wining and dining we are in love, envisioning the white picket fence and a happily ever after.

We are all allowed to dream and have romantic goals, but unfortunately when it comes to happily ever after the odds are not in your favor. Marriage takes work, more than many want to deal with, especially if the love you once had has turned to dislike, resentment, and even hate for your partner.

When Love Turns To Hate Then Murder

Divorce Rates

Marriage can be hard, even when you are with the right person. But if you were unfortunate enough to end up with someone with whom you were not really compatible with, or who changed significantly after the “I Do’s” were said, trouble is likely on the horizon.

Divorce rates are staggering, and many marriages are likely to end in divorce. In fact, the current divorce rate in the United States approximately 40 to 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce. Of course, the number does not include the couples who are separated, no longer cohabitating or couples who decide to remain married while living separate lives.

While the end of a marriage is very sad, if two people cannot make it work and do not want to be together, it is a better option than wasting your life being miserable in an unhappy marriage. Let’s be honest, sometimes divorce is necessary for the mental and emotional well-being of the couple and the children if there are any.

While divorce may be the right choice, some spouses decide to take a different, more violent, final path to end the marriage. Some spouses would rather kill their partners than get a divorce.

Is There Always Abuse Before The Murdering of A Spouse Or Partner?

Statistics show that most people, usually but not always women, who were murdered by their spouse had reported verbal or physical abuse to their friends, their families, or the authorities in the past.

But to be clear, there are not always signs of abuse or that someone is capable of murder. Some of the most high-profile cases of spouses being murdered showed that friends and family were shocked by the crime. While they thought the couples were very happy and in love, the husbands were living double lives and in love with other women, and plotting to get rid of their wives, and in some cases their children.

Murder Statistics

It’s a scary thought to think that the person sleeping next to you, that person who you love most in all the world could someday hate you enough to take your life. Rest assured that odds are that spousal murder will not be your fate, but for an astounding number of both men and women, that is exactly what happened to them.

According to Department of Justice statistics, approximately 9 percent of murders in the United States are spousal murders, primarily the murder of the wife with 83 percent of family murders being committed by the male. Alcohol is often a factor in the murders as well.

The Motivation To Murder

Unfortunately, the reason for killing the spouse usually comes down to money, one way or another. They don’t want to pay child support, or split assets, or pay spousal support. The opposite mentality of “cheaper to keep her”. Greed and selfishness take over any thoughts and sense of decency and morality.

Money is not the only motivating factor when spouses are murdered. The murder motivation can also be about control. The spouse is leaving and killing them is their last act of control over them. If I can’t have you, then nobody can type of crap.

The last motivating factor is another man or woman. They want a fresh start with their new love and do not want to deal with divorce, or custody battles, or losing anything, especially money. Falling for someone else can happen, especially when someone is unhappy in their current relationship, but Prince Charming murdering his wife isn’t romantic or attractive to a new partner, it’s scary and psychotic.

Many of us will never understand the decision to kill someone we once loved rather than just get a divorce. I’m not sure the killers always understand their actions either, but the important thing is your safety. Don’t hide abuse and be willing to walk away from crazy, even if that means not getting everything you feel you deserve from the divorce.

If you or someone you love are in danger or need help please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you believe in making a marriage work at all costs? Would you be willing to walk away from it all if it meant you could leave your spouse in peace? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people,” Jonathan Franzen, Freedom

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Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Feeling invisible or like you are being left out is a terrible feeling. A third wheel is someone who is unnecessary to a group and is tagging along. In this case, the group usually consists of a couple and the third, superfluous person.

Whether you are dating or married, sometimes you can be made to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship. Your spouse’s relatives, friends, and co-workers may come around and suddenly you feel as though you have become invisible to your partner.

Whether or not this is actually the case or just your own jealousies and insecurities messing with your head, there are signs to look for.

3 Signs You’re The Third Wheel In Your Relationship

Inside Jokes

Nothing can make you feel like a third wheel faster than sitting with two people, even if one of them is your partner and they are talking in code or have a bunch of inside jokes.

Inside jokes show closeness and when you are not in on the joke you feel like an outsider looking in on your own relationship.

Left Out Of Plans

Doing things without you or making plans without you when you feel you should be included is hurtful and a clear indication that you are a third wheel.

Your partner should most certainly be able to have friends outside of the relationship, but when you share mutual friends and are excluded from plans it’s a clear sign of you becoming the third wheel.

You Feel Like A Third Wheel

When you hang out with your husband and his family, his friends, or his co-workers, people you also feel like you have good relationships with, but feel like your presence wouldn’t be missed, you’re the third wheel.

It’s the feeling that your presence is only being tolerated because of your connection to your significant other.

What To Do If You Are The Third Wheel

The important thing to understand is that your partner is allowed to have friends and hobbies outside of your relationship. You don’t have to do everything together. Having said that, how you go about addressing the third wheel situation will depend on who’s involved, the relationships, and the frequency.

Communication is key. Ask your partner if they would rather do something without you and be okay with their answer being yes. But be honest about how it makes you feel and what you are and are not comfortable with.

I’m not saying to never do things with others. Attend your partner’s holiday party to show support and his family’s get together for solidarity, but let him hang with his family or friends sometimes without you too. And you should do the same.

What are your thoughts on recognizing the third wheel situation happening in your relationship? Have you ever felt like the third wheel in your relationship? Please share your thought and experience!

“There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It's like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction--every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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What To Do When You Love Them But Don't See A Future Together?

It sounds crazy to think that you could be in love with someone, madly even perhaps, but you have a nagging feeling telling you that he’s not the one. That feeling takes over and it becomes virtually impossible to see a future with someone you care so much for.

I am all about trusting your gut instincts, but I am also about analyzing and asking why we feel this way. Is it really a gut instinct talking or is there a bias, a judgment, or an unrealistic standard holding you back from finding true love.

When you don’t see a future with someone the right thing to do is to walk away, but before you do, I suggest you ask yourself these questions first.

Questions To Ask Before Walking Away From A Relationship

Am I Embarrassed For People To Meet Him"?

Is he is older or younger than the typical guy you date? Or perhaps a little shorter or balder than you are comfortable with?

You have every right to want a certain type of man, but if any of the above is the reason you do not see a future you are being shallow and may regret your decision to walk away in the long run.

Do I Think He’s Good Enough?

This is a tough question to ask ourselves and even tougher to admit when the answer is negative. Does he come from a poor family or the wrong side of the tracks and this bothers you?

If he is a good man, with a good heart who treats you well, you need to think twice before dismissing him as not being good enough.

Does His Income or Job Matter To Me?

Maybe you need a partner who makes a lot of money or at least more than you do. Sometimes it’s about status or material things, or maybe you are just a traditionalist, but either way, you cannot see yourself with a man who doesn’t make a lot of money or doesn’t make more money than you.

Good, available men are not easy to come by, so you may need to ask yourself what’s more important.

Do We Want Different Things?

They say opposites attract but making it work with someone who views the world differently, and wants different things in life can be challenging and perhaps somewhat disheartening.

If he wants different things, it is not your job to convince him otherwise. And if you are certain of the future you want, or don’t want, that may be a very good reason to walk away.

Will I Be Happier Without Him?

In the beginning, you were all starry-eyed and full of hope of a future together, but as you drifted from cloud nine back down to earth you realized that a future with this man may not make you as happy as you once thought. The masks fell off and you didn’t like what you saw.

There is no judgment here because you have every right to decide what you want and don’t want in a partner. And let’s be honest, only you know deep down inside the real answers to these questions. However, if you are being honest with yourself, you fell in love with this person for a reason, and since they are not a violent, horrible person (otherwise this would be a different conversation), it begs to question what prevents you from seeing a future with them?

Have you ever been in a situation where you love someone but didn’t see a future with them? If so, what did you do? What advice would you give? Please share your thoughts or story!

“Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
― Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

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Death Of A Marriage...6 Reasons Marriages Become Unhappy

When I first started blogging about relationships 4 years ago, I was not sure what to expect as far as interest in what I had to say, because let’s be honest, much like food blogs, the market is flooded with relationship advice as well.

In writing my blogs, I have striven to provide a unique perspective based on personal experiences, observations, research, and interviews. Over the years, my audience has grown, and I am so proud of the unexpected success, but I believe much of my success can be contributed to one blog in particular that continues to draw to the largest audience daily.

Two years ago I wrote an article titled 8 Signs You Are Not A Couple Anymore…You’re Just Roommates. The Roommates article has resonated with so many readers and continues to provide nearly 40% percent of the daily traffic to my blog, with over 1,000 daily views.

Over the years, I have received many heartbreaking emails and comments from people feeling trapped and unhappy in their marriage, and recognizing they are just roommates. Between hearing from readers, doing research, and seeing what family and friends have gone through, I have definitely started to view marriage through a different prism.

When you think about the high divorce rate, which is currently approximately 40% depending on your age and where you live, and how many people we all know who are staying in marriages for reasons other than happiness and love, that equates to a lot of unhappy people.

So, the question is, why do so many marriages become unhappy, and is that seemingly inevitable unhappiness preventable? The short answer is yes if you know the causes. Here’s 6 reasons marriages become unhappy.

6 Reasons Marriages Become Unhappy

No Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling is highly recommended to get a marriage started off right. Premarital counseling provides a facilitated forum to discuss marital expectations and concerns of each partner prior to saying “I do” because you both should have an idea of what your partner expects of a husband or wife in a marriage.

Idealized Marriage

Marriage is not a fairytale, despite what the stories tell you. In fact, choose the wrong mate and your marriage can end up a horror story. Your spouse is not going to be Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet non-stop. He will burp, fart, and may be a complete slob at times, who does not help around the house or with the kids as much as you would like.

Obligated/Forced To Marry

You got married because your religion dictated it or you were pregnant and felt obligated to get married. Honestly, I think any marriage that required or pressure for one or both partners to commit doesn’t stand much of a chance at a happy union.

Immature When Married

It doesn’t matter if you are 20, 30, or 40 when you get married, because it is not only about age. Immaturity does not necessarily just mean young because maturity is a mental state. Some people never grow up, and some never make sound decisions regardless of how many years they are on this earth.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

You married because everyone your age was doing it and you did not want to be outdone by anyone or feel like a loser for still being single. Playing the game of keeping up is a fast track to unhappiness and debt. People who focus more on the outward than the inward are never very happy with themselves and definitely not with their partners.

Ignoring/Not Addressing Issues

You have not been paying attention to your marriage. If this blog applies to you, you may have been reading this thinking, nope this is definitely not me or my marriage, but that doesn’t mean it’s not your spouse. I get emails all the time from unhappy spouses who feel trapped in their marriage and I always encourage them to discuss their feeling with their spouse.

Of course, most people recognize that things are off with their marriage but are not sure sometimes how to fix it, and in some cases, if they even want to fix it. I think the death of a marriage is preventable for some marriages, and not so much for others. Sheer determination and love will not make a person who no longer loves you want to be with you, no matter what you do.

I believe the death of a marriage can be prevented if two mature individuals willingly enter the relationship with open hearts and minds, be completely honest with each other and themselves, and focus on building up their partner and their relationship.

What are your thoughts on the death of a marriage? What advice would you give? Do you agree with the assessment? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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10 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce

Marriages go through ups and downs and good times and bad times. The trouble starts when your marriage seems to be full of never-ending downs and bad times.

The reality is that not all marriages work out, and in fact nearly fifty percent of marriages end in divorce or separation. Although divorce talk is no one’s favorite topic, if your marriage is heading in that direction it is important to recognize the signs to try to address them, or know the signs in order to prepare yourself.

10 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce

You’ve Become Secretive About Your Marriage

You used to be relatively open about everything in your life with your family and good friends, including discussing your relationships and your marriage.

But now you avoid discussing your partner and your marriage because you are afraid they will pick up on your problems and you don’t want anyone to know that your marriage is falling apart.

You’re Self-Conscience About How Your Marriage Looks To Others

You used to never think anything of it if your spouse opted out of going to an event with you or if they worked late or hung out with their friends. Now you get clingy and try to tag along or make-up lies as to why they are unavailable to attend an event with you.

You feel less secure in your relationship and worry that everyone can tell that things are not good.

You Can’t Agree On Anything

You fight about money, you fight about chores, you fight about the kids, and sometimes you even fight about what to have for dinner. Everything is a battle because an unhappy person is hard to please.

Chances are if one of you is unhappy in the relationship, then you both are unhappy.

Poor Communication/Stonewalling

Talking out your issues seems to be an impossible task because one or both of your are not one hundred percent committed to fixing the relationship. You don’t want to talk to one another or one of you completely shuts down all forms of communication, basically ignoring your partner.

You’re Not Physically Attracted To Them

I think most of us want to feel physically attracted to our partners. If one partner stops taking pride in self-care and their appearance, their partner will likely be turned off and less attracted to them, and the physical relationship will suffer.

Men are more visual creatures, so the man will want to feel sexually attracted to his wife, and women also want to be attracted to their husbands as well.

You Avoid Spending Time Together

Suddenly the gym or your laptop is yours or your partner’s new best friend. Anything to avoid engaging with each other. Spending extra hours at the gym can be avoiding home life, relieving stress, and getting that new body as you prepare to become single again.

Working long hours at the office or home is to avoid having to interact with your partner, and to avoid dealing with your issues.

You Don’t Like Your Partner

It may happen slowly over time, but sometimes love can turn to intense dislike. They say familiarity breeds contempt, which may be true to some degree, but with time, you either grow to love your partner more, or you realize you are not a good fit and do not want to be with them anymore.

Sometimes you just don’t like them as a person anymore and may resent them because you feel trapped in the relationship.

You Don’t Love Your Partner

As you realize you don’t like your partner, you may also realize you don’t love them anymore, at least not in a romantic way. You look at them sometimes and feel nothing. Your marriage can survive a lack of love, but it will not be a very happy union.

There’s Someone Else

I think it goes without saying that if you or your partner are in love with someone else your marriage is in trouble. Whether the extra-marital relationship is physical, or emotional, one of you is the third wheel in your relationship and the marriage is headed for a divorce.

You Want Out

If one of you longer wants to be in the relationship you are definitely headed for a divorce. You or your partner are mentally and emotionally done with the relationship. One or both of you wants out of the relationship but feels trapped or is plotting an escape.

I think anyone in a marriage owes it to themself and their partner to try to make it work, but I also think you owe it to yourself to recognize and accept when it can’t work. There’s not a lot of options with a marriage in trouble. You either get counseling to try to work out your issues or you start preparing yourself to move on.

What are your thoughts on the signs of heading for a divorce? Do you agree with my signs? If you are divorced or heading that direction, what signs did you see? Please share!

"I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce became socially acceptable, that people tried harder, got through their rough times, and were better off. I believe that more people suffered.” -Ann Patchett 

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Why He Wants To Be Dominated By You

Domination is about control, and when you allow yourself to be dominated you give up some of your control. Even the control freak likes to occasionally be the passenger and not the driver.

Some men like to be dominated, if only for a little while. He wants to be submissive behind closed doors, in the home, or perhaps just in the bedroom, but regardless of the location, he wants you to take over and dominate him.

The strongest, most confident of men often enjoy domination the most, and you may be asking yourself why, but after reading this blog it will make total sense. Here’s why he wants to be dominated.

5 Reasons Why He Wants To Be Dominated By You

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Relieves Stress

Domination is not always about sex. Domination is often about mental and emotional releases. The role play, the pain, and even the verbal domination can have an almost soothing and calming affect on a man who wants to be dominated.

Wants To Be Vulnerable

Men do not often feel comfortable being vulnerable. But in a safe setting, and with the right woman he can allow himself to be vulnerable, even if just under the guise of domination.

It Turns Him On

Yes, sometimes domination is a fetish. Some men are masochist and enjoy a mixture of pain and pleasure. The domination can be verbal words of abuse, physical pain, or consist of punishments.

Every couple has to explore and find their comfort level to make their own rules of play.

He’s Powerful

Being the one always in charge is exhausting. While he may be the one in charge in the boardroom or office, he may want you to take charge at home or in the bedroom.

He knows that he is powerful, but giving up some of that control to you in the bedroom, and not knowing what you will do to him excites him.

He Respects You

Most men are not just going to give up his power and control and be vulnerable with just anyone. But with with right woman, a woman he sees as his equal, he can be okay with letting her dominate him. Strong, confident men love strong, confident women.

The role of dominatrix is not for everyone, but just as he enjoys giving up his control for a time, you may also enjoy being in complete control of him occasionally.

Domination and role play is not for every man, at least not every man is willing to admit it. So now that you understand the why, are you game for a little dominating? You and you partner make the rules. And don’t forget your safe word…LOL

Now I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on dominating him? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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