The Look Back and The Signs Of Secret Longing

I like to people watch because I find human behavior so interesting. As humans we do so many subtle things that mean so much. One particular behavior has recently caught my eye, and that is the look back. Some of you may be wondering what the heck is the “look back”, but others knew right away.

Once I noticed it, I mean really noticed it, I had to know more. I started to notice it in the morning drop offs with parents and their children at my daughter's school.

I also noticed when I saw a groups of friends parting ways after a movie.  But the big stand out was with couples, and what appeared to be the slow budding romances.

Why The Look Back

To some degree this blog goes hand in hand with my recent “ Love…Being, Falling, Crazy In It” blog. The look back in the case of love and lust is often about regret. It is the silent “one last look at you before I leave you, because believe me, I don’t want to leave you". 

The look can be subtle or smoldering, but either way it is still telling. The return look is just as telling, and important. If only one of the two looks back, it does not bode well for a future dalliance.

Just about every romantic movie I have seen has the look back moment. I had to think back over the years for the look back moments in my history. I admit that in the past I fought the temptation to look back sometimes. I wanted to look back, to see him again yes, but also to know if he was looking back at me.

When your eyes meet that one final time on the look back, it sends your heart fluttering, and you feel warm and tingly all over. It puts a smile on your face, and thoughts in your mind that will leave you restless.

Movies That Have Memorable Look Back Moments

• Sixteen Candles

• Sense and Sensibility

• Bridget Jones's Diary

• Waiting to Exhale

• Dirty Dancing

• The Titanic

• Love Actually

• The Notebook

Does a look back at someone after you, or they have started to walk away mean nothing, or everything? I suppose one could say it depends, and that may be true.

In the case of love and lust, only the two looking back at each other know why they couldn't resist that one last glance, but there are signs of secret longing you can look for.

Signs Of Secret Longing

• The Look Back

• Prolonged Goodbyes

• Intense Eye Contact

• They Flush and Blush In Your Presence

• They Cannot Stay Away From You

What are your thoughts on the look back and secret longing? Have you ever experienced this feeling and behavior? Please share your thoughts or experience!

“…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.” ― Homer, The Iliad

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Simple Ways To Read His Body Language

People communicate more non-verbally than verbally, so being able to read someone’s body language is a valuable skill. There are many tips and tricks to use, but it always comes down to our ability to observe those around us, and pay attention to the little things.

I believe if we are honest with ourselves we can admit that we spend quite a bit of time hiding our true thoughts and feelings. We hide our annoyance when we are in the check out line behind someone paying with a check, or how much we dislike our boss, or even how much we like the new guy or girl at work.

When it comes to hiding your feelings I bet you think you have it all figured out, right? You play it cool and try to keep your face emotionless when your jerk boss tasks you with something they should be doing. Or the girl you are crushing on is sitting across from you in a meeting.

How do you hide your feelings? Unfortunately, you can’t hide your feelings if your boss or crush knows how to read body language.

I have an expressive face so my irritation, anger, and annoyance are rarely disguised. I think I am much better at hiding my other thoughts and feelings. I hide my fear and anxiety really well. I have also been really good at hiding my attraction for certain men in the past. At least I think so.

Experts would say I had telltale signs that gave me away, of course if they knew what to look for. The eyes say it all. They will dilate to take in more of the one they are attracted to.

There is no all encompassing list of signs your body will exhibit with any one particular emotion, but the below lists have been shown to accurately predict ones true intent or feelings.

Body Language Signs

Here are signs you might exhibit if you dislike someone:

• Not facing them when they talk to you

• False smiles

• Very little eye contact

• Keeping a large distance

• Yawning

• Side stepping while talking to them (you want to leave)

• Touching your nose

Here are signs you might be angry or hostile:

• Balled fists

• Pupil contraction

• Running fingers through hair

• Compressed or whitened lips

• Crossing arms

• Rapid speech

• Intense glare

• Shaking

• Redness in face

Here are some signs you might exhibit if in the presence of someone you are crushing on or secretly in love with:

• Lots of eye contact

• Mirroring behavior

• Gesture on appearance such as fixing tie, socks, or hair

• Great posture, straightens up when in their presence

• Is fidgety, and plays with things such as buttons or a pen

• Touches face a lot out of nervousness

• Plays with round objects in presence (this one is about sexual attraction and breasts)

• Dilated eyes because they like what they are looking at

• Feet point towards them, in order to keep them in your line of sight

Feeling vulnerable yet? I am. We all wear masks sometimes, often in the workplace. But our bodies betray us because research shows that whatever we are feeling shows up on our body first, not our conscious mind.

Once our mind becomes aware we can put on that fake smile or look of interest. Don't worry, sometimes people need to know how you really feel.

What are your thoughts on body language? Are you able to read someone’s body language? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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Body Language...Can You Tell What He Is Thinking?

Ok, so technically I am no body language expert, but I find it interesting and have done lots of reading on the topic. I feel pretty confident in my abilities to regurgitate, I mean share, the the info I found.

I believe if we are honest with ourselves we can admit that we spend quite a bit of time hiding our true thoughts and feelings. We hide our annoyance when we are in the check out line behind someone paying with a check, or how much we dislike our boss, or even how much we like the new guy or girl at work.

I bet you think you have it all figured out, right? You play it cool and try keep your face emotionless when your jerk boss tasks you with something they should be doing. Or the girl you are crushing on is sitting across from you in a meeting.

How do you hide your feelings? You can't, not if your boss or crush know how to read body language.

I have an expressive face so my irritation, anger, and annoyance are rarely disguised. I think I am much better at hiding my other thoughts and feelings. I hide my fear and anxiety really well. I have also been really good at hiding my attraction for certain men in the past. At least I think so.

Experts would say I had telltale signs that gave me away, of course if they knew what to look for. The eyes say it all. They will dilate to take in more of the one they are attracted to.

There is no all encompassing list of signs your body will exhibit with any one particular emotion, but the below lists have been shown to accurately predict ones true intent or feelings.

Here are signs you might exhibit if you dislike someone:

• Not facing them when they talk to you

• False smiles

• Very little eye contact

• Keeping a large distance

• Yawning

• Side stepping while talking to them (you want to leave)

• Touching your nose

Here are signs you might be angry or hostile:

• Balled fists

• Pupil contraction

• Running fingers through hair

• Compressed or whitened lips

• Crossing arms

• Rapid speech

• Intense glare

• Shaking

• Redness in face

Here are some signs you might exhibit if in the presence of someone you are crushing on or secretly in love with:

• Lots of eye contact

• Mirroring behavior

• Gesture on appearance such as fixing tie, socks, or hair

• Great posture, straightens up when in their presence

• Is fidgety, and plays with things such as buttons or a pen

• Touches face a lot out of nervousness

• Plays with round objects in presence (this one is about sexual attraction and breasts)

• Dilated eyes because they like what they are looking at

• Feet point towards them, in order to keep them in your line of sight

Feeling vulnerable yet? I am. We all wear masks sometimes, often in the workplace. But our bodies betray us because research shows that whatever we are feeling shows up on our body first, not our conscious mind. Once our mind becomes aware we can put on that fake smile or look of interest.

Don't worry, sometimes people need to know how you really feel.

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The Look Back...Why You Can't Just Walk Away

I like to people watch because I find human behavior so interesting. We do so many subtle things that mean so much. One particular behavior has caught my eye recently, and that is the look back. Some of you may be wondering what the heck is the “look back”, but others knew right away.

Once I noticed it, I mean really noticed it, I had to know more. I started to notice it in the morning drop offs with parents and their children at my daughter's school. I saw it with groups of friends parting ways after a movie.  But the big stand out was with couples, and the slow budding romances.

I suppose this blog goes hand in hand with my recent “ Love…Being, Falling, Crazy In It” blog. The look back in the case of love and lust is often about regret. It is the silent “one last look at you before I leave you, because believe me, I don’t want to leave you". 

The look can be subtle or smoldering, but either way it is still telling. The return look is just as telling, and important. If only one of the two looks back, it does not bode well for a future dalliance.

Just about every romantic movie I have seen has the look back moment. I had to think back over the years for the look back moments in my history. In the past I fought the temptation sometimes. I wanted to look back, to see him again yes, but also to know if he was looking back at me.

When your eyes meet that one final time on the look back, it sends your heart fluttering, and you feel warm and tingly all over. It puts a smile on your face, and thoughts in your mind that will leave you restless.

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Here Are Some Movies That Have Memorable Look Back Moments

• Sixteen Candles

• Sense and Sensibility

• Bridget Jones's Diary

• Waiting to Exhale

• The Princess Bride

• 10 Things I Hate About You

• Dirty Dancing

• Never Been Kissed

• The Titanic

• Love Actually

• The Notebook

• The Wedding Singer

Does a look back at someone after you, or they have started to walk away mean nothing, or everything? I suppose one could say it depends, and that may be true. In the case of love and lust, only the two looking back at each other know why they couldn't resist that one last glance. What do you think?

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Signs Of Flirting...A Learned Skill Or Natural Instinct?

There is a certain art to flirting. It can be fun and exhilarating, if you get it right. Or a hot mess, and make for a great bloopers reel if you get it wrong. Flirting means to act amorous without serious intent, but it can also be about sending out feelers.

If he flirts back maybe he's interested. Or if he's too dense to pick up on your signals, he's not the guy for you.

I know some people who are notorious flirts. They flirt with everyone, young or old, male or female. It's a game to them, and they play it well.

I learned how to flirt pretty young, around 12 years old. Of course very innocently, with passing notes, teasing, and smiles. I got better. I think my flirting abilities are a combination of natural instinct, and learned skills over time.

I suppose one could ask why do we flirt. Do we flirt for attention? To see if we still "got it". Do we flirt to manipulate, to perhaps get out of a ticket? I think this is often the case. We flirt to get what we want.

We also flirt to get who we want. Sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. A coy smile here and there. A little inside joke. The teasing and playfulness. It's all flirting, albeit innocent intentions. Or not so innocent.

Flirting is safe. It is a way to test the waters, without truly putting yourself out there. If you flirt and they flirt back, there may be something there.

So where do you do most of your flirting? At the bar or club? I bet most flirting happens at work or school. The places we spend most of our time. Maybe you know how to flirt, and you know how to recognize when someone is flirting with you. But just in case you don't know, here are some body language clues that someone is flirting.

Signs Of Flirting

Signs He's Flirting...

• Smile

• Remembers what you say

• Touches you

• Nervous twitch while talking to you

• Blushing or sweaty hands

• Leans in to be closer

Signs She's Flirting

• Smile

• Touches lips or hair

• Touches you

• Lots of laughing (you are not that funny)

• Compliments and/or insults you

• Leans in to be closer

Men and women are similar creatures. Some have perfected the art of flirting, while others are still trying to figure it out. If you are not a great flirt, don't worry about it. It is actually cute and refreshing to see the unskilled flirter. Ultimately, fate will have its way. If it is meant to be, it will happen. 

We try to hide our feelings, but forgot our eyes speak. - Unknown

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