What Is Negging and How To Recognize It In Relationships and Dating
We love new terms in the dating world and negging is a newer term for an old tactic. Some of you may have never heard the term “negging” but you have most likely experienced it. “Negging ("to neg", meaning "negative feedback") is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and attempt to engender in them a need for the manipulator's approval.” - Wikipedia
So now that we know that negging is essentially a manipulation tactic used to knock you down a peg emotionally and psychologically, the question is how to recognize when it is being done to you and how to address it.
Negging can come in the form of words, negative body language, and even physical behavior such as moving away from your touch. They may even laugh at you or ignore you, but the goal is the same and that is to manipulate you with their negative feedback. In this blog, I list five signs to look for when you think negging is happening to you. I hope this helps to keep you away from relationships that do not feed your soul and make you happy.
5 Signs of Negging
Teasing or Making Fun Of You
Teasing can be in good fun and can be seen as flirtatious, but too much of it can start to feel like the other person is just being mean and intentionally hurting your feelings under the guise of “just joking”.
You two go out walking or for a hike and you hear jokes the whole time about how slow you are and need to be in better shape. Never mind the fact that their legs are six inches longer than yours or that they do this all the time.
Subtley Putting You Down
Negative comments about your looks, your cooking, and even your intelligence are all negging tactics and subtle ways to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. It is also a way to make themselves feel superior to you.
Disregarding Your Feelings
They use negging as a way to disregard your feelings and turn the tables on you. According to them, their mean jokes directed at you are fun and are all in good fun but you are just too sensitive and you have no sense of humor.
Disregarding Your Boundaries
You have told them your preferences many times. Whether you have said you do not like a certain food or to be touched or talked to a certain way they start negging to get around those boundaries. They will call you ungrateful or unappreciative of all of their efforts despite you expressing your likes and wants.
Comparing You To Others
A person who negs will want to take you down a notch and they will do that by trying to destroy your self-worth and self-esteem. They will compare you to other women who they view as smarter or prettier than you. They will say or indirectly imply that you should be thankful that someone like them would even give someone like you the time of day because they usually date women who are much hotter and prettier and skinnier than you are. But of course, if that were true then why is he dating or in a relationship with you?
My recommendation is to call out negging when you see. Tell them you do not like the negative comments. After the first warning regarding their negging behavior, there should be no other warnings. You just need to walk away from that toxic person because they will eventually destroy your self-esteem.
What are your thoughts on negging? Do you have any experience with negging? Please share your thoughts and how you handled negging situations!
“Don’t waste another minute dealing with a toxic, negative, energy-draining person. Some people are wired for negativity. They love being argumentative, combative, and abusive. Run for your life as quickly as possible.” – Les Brown
