Rushing Love?...5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
Dating is one thing but falling in love ups the ante. When it comes to love many will say, “when you know, you know’” And that saying applies in some cases, but in most cases, not so much. In the early stages of romantic relationships, our heads tend to be in the clouds.
You may be thinking how in the world do I fall in love slowly, or saying “I cannot help how I feel”. To which I say, you have more control than you think you do. I am not saying for you to not to fall in love, I am just suggesting that you give time and space for the rational thoughts to come into play.
5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
You Need To Get To Know Them
Falling in love with a stranger is a dangerous act. It is completely possible that this new person is your forever person and soulmate, but in the beginning, it is too early to tell. You don’t know them, and won’t know them for a while, despite how connected you feel to them.
In the first year or two, the masks are still on. Over time people will let down their guards and show you the real them. The real them is the person you want to base your decisions on, not who they pretended to be to charm you and win you over.
You Need Time To Assess
Once you have gotten to know them to some degree, now you need to figure out if you are compatible in the long run. It takes time to get to know someone. Getting to know someone is not a process that can be rushed, no matter how great they seem.
You will also need time to decide if you actually like the real them because you may not. We are all flawed and have some pretty good ideas of what those flaws are. In a new relationship, we tend to mask those flaws, but eventually, they come out and once they tend to come out, and once they do, you may find some dealbreakers.
You Need To Have The Hard Conversations
You definitely do want to scare someone off early on by talking about certain topics. But if you are hoping for a relationship to go somewhere serious, the discussions will need to eventually happen. Do they want to get married? Do you want children? Are they religious? What are their political views?
All of their answers to the big questions may be a dealbreaker. Maybe you really want to get married, but they don’t believe in marriage. Or perhaps you have opposing political views, that cause heated debates and arguments. None of these topics are likely discussed early on but may be dealbreakers in the long run.
You Need to Meet Their People
You can learn a lot about someone by meeting the people they choose to have in their life. Some friends and family members can be a huge thorn in a relationship’s side.
You should remember that family is not chosen, but friends are. If he has friends that are big liars and cheaters, that says something about his judgment and may be reflective of what he thinks is okay as well.
Give Time For True Colors To Show
You need to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the rush is. The mask is on early in the relationship and once it comes off you may not like what is beneath them. What is more important to you? Being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone, or finding that special someone you really vibe and connect with and that can be a lasting partnership? You could have both if you are patient, but rushing it may ruin everything.
I am not saying to fight your feelings, but instead give your heart and mind time to assess, because let’s be honest, sometimes the heart gets it wrong. Odds are they are not the one, and you are not in love, but instead infatuated and headed for heartbreak.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you dive headfirst into relationships or do you take your time and have a long courtship? Please share your thoughts and stories!
I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast
I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last
My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past
And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast - Sammy Cahn
