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5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Unfortunately, sometimes people find themselves in emotionally abusive relationships, without even realizing it. Unlike physical abuse, the scars from emotional abuse are invisible, but just as damaging.
Emotional abuse can destroy the person that you once were, and leave behind an empty shell.
Sadly, many people stay in emotionally abusive relationships because they make excuses for the behavior of their partners, often blaming themselves. All signs of emotional abuse are not cut and dry. Relationships have ups and down, and people have fights and disagreements, but it is how you fight and disagree that can be abusive.
Signs Of Emotional Abuse
Talked To Disrespectfully
In an emotionally abusive relationship there is a lack of respect. You may be told to shut up, yelled at, or completely dismissed as you try to communicate your feelings or concerns. Sometimes the verbal abuse happens in front of others, but many times while you are alone. Emotional abusers are good at hiding their abusive side.
Blamed For Everything
Your partner is mean and disrespectful to you, but guess what, it’s your own fault. If you were not so overly sensitive, or whiny, or demanding, then they wouldn’t lose their temper and have to be mean to you.
They make you feel like everything is your fault, including their poor choices and mistakes. You often fear their anger here.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of abuse, as it diminishes your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your self-worth. The gaslighter convinces you that it's all in your head and you are just being paranoid or remembering incorrectly.
Your partner makes you feel completely faulty. As if you have the worst memory ever, and are going completely crazy. It’s not them, it’s you.
Made To Feel Stupid
An emotionally abusive partner loves to belittle and make you feel less than. Your partner will humiliate and embarrass you in front of others with blatant disrespect, or making you the butt of a joke. They are even worse in private.
If you dare to challenge or question their judgement, they are quick to remind you how mentally superior they are to you. They do not value you or your opinion.
Controlling
An emotionally abusive partner tends to also be controlling. They want to know where you are at, where you are going, and who are you with. They want to tell you how to dress, how to act, and what to do. You are punished with silence or withdrawals of affection if you do not do things their way.
An emotionally abusive relationship can leave you feeling depressed, alone, and questioning your self worth. It is important to remember that you are not worthless, you do not need to stay in an abusive situation, and that you will be loved again, the right way.
What are your thoughts on emotional abuse? There are many signs to look for, which would you add? Please share your experience!
“Sometimes we refuse to see how bad something is until it completely destroys us.” - Unknown
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10 Signs Of Gaslighting...Are You The Victim Or The Culprit?
I first heard the term "gaslighting" about a year or so ago while listening to a radio talk show in my car. The term is derived from the 1938 play and the 1944 movie titled "Gaslight".
In the movie, a husband tries to drive his wife insane by convincing her that what she thought was said or had happened was not the reality. She begins to not trust on her own memory and questions her sanity.
Gaslight is a good film, but the cruelty heaped upon the main character makes you want to yell at the screen, or shake her to wake up, and see that she is being manipulated.
The term gaslighting is making a comeback as more and more people realize that this is a tactic often used today in both social and professional circles. Gaslighting is most often used in close or intimate relationships.
Have you ever try to call someone out for something they did to you that made you feel wronged, and they deny that it ever happened?
Did you clearly witness them do or say something, but they deny it so convincingly that you start to question if what you really saw or heard was real? You must have misunderstood or are being overly sensitive, is often the received response.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse, as it diminishes your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your self-worth. The gaslighter convinces you that it is all in your head, and you are just being paranoid, overly sensitive, or remembering incorrectly. I have definitely felt the burn of a gaslighter.
For the most part, I realized they were full of it and not owning their own crap. However, at the same time, there was this other part of me that did question my assessment of the situation. Was I remembering the events as they really happened?
A relationship where gaslighting appears to be happening is one you should not be in. The gaslighter can be a spouse or significant other, a friend, a parent, or a co-worker. It is important to recognize the signs of gaslighting in your life.
10 Signs To look For In A Gaslighting Relationship
You Often Question Your Own Memory
You Wonder If You Are Too Sensitive
You Feel Less Confident
You Have Trouble Making Decisions
You Often Feel Confused And Crazy
You Feel Like You Cannot Do Anything Right
You Are Always Apologizing
You Feel Hopeless And Joyless
You Lie To Avoid Put Downs
You Often Second Guess Yourself
Gaslighting is a manipulation and deception used in order to misdirect, gain control, and avoid blame. Narcissist often use gaslighting to manipulate. Recognize it and know when it is happening to you.
What is your experience with gaslighting? Have you ever been the victim or the culprit? Please share your experience!
“So often victims end up unnecessarily prolonging their abuse because they buy into the notion that their abuser must be coming from a wounded place and that only patient love and tolerance (and lots of misguided therapy) will help them heal.” - George K. Simon
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