Love, Crush, or Infatuation? How to Tell the Difference

I think many people often mistake crushes and infatuation for love. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. A big difference, in fact. In the movies, adorable couples infatuated with each other fall in love and live happily ever after, right?

In real life, things tend to be a little different.

Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. When infatuated, the person is idolized, flaws are ignored, and there is a heavy rush of brain chemicals.

Crushes are light and fun. You get butterflies in the stomach and googly eyes when you see them. While someone may be curious about their crush, their behavior is normal, healthy, and likely to fade fast. Infatuation on the other hand can be stressful and all consuming, bordering on obsession. Infatuation may cause anxiety and stress due to fear of rejection. Fortunately, infatuation is often short-lived and fades fast like a crush.

Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

Love is patient, love is understanding, and love is forgiving. Love desires a deep connection, while infatuation craves physical interactions.

Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation

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Feelings Come on Fast

Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.

Short Lived

Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.

Sees Perfection

With crushes and infatuation, it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income.

The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.

Crazy Or Irrational Behavior

Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.

Based On Attraction

Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head.

The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually, the crush is someone who is out of reach for you.

Signs Of Love

Feelings Last

With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.

Accepts Them, Flaws And All

When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.

Open and Honest

Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hopes, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours. Love wants to work through problems and make communication a priority.

Only Eyes For Them

Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to others’ beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart.

Their Happiness Is Important

We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.

Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort

Seeing their face, or hearing their voice, can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.

The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happen in both cases. But with love, there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of each other.

What are your thoughts on crushes and infatuation? Do you believe that infatuation can turn to love? Have you ever thought it was love only to realize it was just a crush? Please share!

“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” ― Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces of You

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6 Signs He's Flirting With You (And It's More Than Just Friendliness)

For some of you, this topic is a no-brainer. But others will swear they can never tell. Maybe you are always certain whether someone is flirting with you or just being polite. In my experience, different men use different tactics to show their interest in a woman. Some men and women are not even aware of how their actions and behaviors change when they are interested and attracted to someone and naturally start flirting.

The dating game and the process of meeting someone and starting something new can feel like a game of cat and mouse. Everyone tries to read the other and plot their next move. This process can also be filled with uncertainty. Is he really interested in me? Is he hitting on me?

When a man is interested and flirting with you, there are some sure signs of his intentions. You just need to know what to look for.

Signs He’s Flirting With You

He Gets Close

When a guy is hitting on you he will try to get as physically close to you as possible. I don’t mean in a gross, creepy kind of way. I mean he will want to be standing or sitting in close proximity to you. He wants you to be aware of presence.

He wants to be close enough to you to smell your perfume, stare into your eyes, and create some contact.

He Stares Into Your Eyes

Eye contact is a good way to establish a connection. Plus, when he is interested and flirting with you, he will want to stare into your eyes. The eyes send a strong message of interest or a lack of it. The amount of eye contact will depend on the personality of your guy.

A man who is more bold and aggressive may hold eye contact with you for a long time. While a guy is who is shy or unsure of your interest is more likely to make eye contact, look away, and then make eye contact again.

He Makes Lame Jokes

A man who is hitting on you will make attempts at being charming. One of the ways he will do this is by trying to be the funny man. When a guy is hitting on you he will try to show his cutesy, laid back side, which will include some jokes.

He knows that if he can get you to laugh, or at least smile, and he will have a shot.

He Lightly Touches You

He is hitting on you because he is attracted to you. And because he is attracted to you, he will want to touch you. He may lightly touch your arm, your hands, or even your lower back. He will use any excuse to try to make physical contact with you.

He is also looking for your reaction to his touch. If you retract from his touch he will know, or should know, that you are not interested. Whereas if he is close enough to you that your arms or legs brush one another, and you do not create space between you two, that you might be interested as well.

Offers To Help You

When a man is hitting on you he will try to be your knight in shining armor. He will offer to buy your drinks, carry things for you, help you move, and even do your work or homework. He wants to be there for you, and show you that he is a reliable, dependable gentleman.

If he is a co-worker he may bring you a coffee in the morning, offer to buy you lunch, and they will always want to help you with a work project.

Tries To Entice You

A man flirting with you will want you to feel just as attracted to him as he is to you. He wants to look hot for you. He will take extra care with his appearance. He may wear cologne, flex his muscles, and flash his pearly whites.

When you think about it, when a man is hitting on you, he is usually pretty obvious. When in doubt, listen to your gut, trust your instincts, and if all else fails, refer to this blog for the signs a man is hitting on you.

What are your thoughts on the signs of a man hitting on you? Do you agree with my signs? What signs do you look for? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“The law of attraction says that like attracts like, and when you think and feel what you want to attract on the inside, the law will use people, circumstances, and events to magnetize what you want.” - Rhonda Byrne

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Is Love at First Sight Real? What Psychology Says About Instant Attraction

Love at first sight is a phenomenon. You see someone across a crowded room and feel an instant connection and a gut feeling that this person is who you were meant to be with.

Fortunately, luck would have it that the one you fell in love with at first sight just so happens to be hot or gorgeous. No coincidence there, right?

Love, at first sight, is rare, but do you believe it can actually happen? Many will poo poo the concept of love at first sight, and rightfully so, in my opinion.

I mean after all, what could we possibly know about someone after just one sighting or meeting? But others are firm believers that it can happen, mainly because it has happened to them.

Movies and literature would have you believe that love at first happens all of the time and will lead to a “happily ever after” ending.

I mean, after all, didn’t Cinderella get her glass slipper after just one encounter? A moment in time can be wonderful, but what happens when reality sets in?

Here’s What Psychology Says About Love At First Sight

Most psychologists stress the importance of distinguishing attraction from love. People can form first impressions in milliseconds. Within seconds of meeting someone, your brain is already evaluating their body language, facial expressions, their voice, and yes, their level of attractiveness. There is also a perceived familiarity and trustworthiness with this attractive stranger. The immediate reaction to your initial assessment can be powerful and feel like love, but psychologists will say it is likely just attraction.

Psychologists say you can absolutely experience attraction, chemistry, and a profound sense of connection at first sight. Whether it becomes love depends on what happens afterward.

How Biology Plays A Part

That instant attraction you feel is not just happening in your heart and eyes; it’s happening in your brain. The dopamine hit you get when the initial attraction happens is an electric feeling. You feel excited and energized by the feeling. The oxytocin hit you get from being in close proximity to this person will make you feel bonded to them and more physically attracted to them.

Is Love At First Sight Possible?

Reasons To Believe In Love At First Sight

• Instant Attraction

• Amazing Chemistry

• Soulmates

• Gut Feeling

Reasons To Not Believe In Love At First Sight

• Based Solely On Physical Attributes

• Unknown Commonality

• Masks Are Still On

• You Can’t Love What You Do Not Know
  
  

I have often heard love at first sight referred to as “lust” at first sight, and I have to agree. While I have personally never felt like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight, I have had that instant attraction.

I have experienced seeing someone from across the room and feeling a strong emotion as our eyes met. The next time our paths crossed we hit it off and dated for a couple of years. Was it love at first sight? No, it was not love because I didn’t know him, I desired him. Big difference in my opinion.

Would it surprise you to know that more than 50 percent of people believe in love at first sight? It surprised me quite honestly. It just goes to show how much we link feelings of love to physical attraction, at least initially. I say initially because we tend to find people more or less attractive as we get to know them, which I think disproves the possibility of love at first.

What I believe can happen is that an initial attraction and fascination can grow and turn into everlasting love.

What are your thoughts on love at first sight? Are you a believer or a cynic? Has it ever happened to you? Can it be love at first sight if the feeling is only one-sided? Please share your story and experience!

“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” - Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces Of You

Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels

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The Appeal of the Slow Burn Romance... In Television and Real Life

If you are watching The Bear on Hulu or FX, you likely have an opinion on the relationship between Carm and Syd. Are they just good friends or are we watching an epic slow burn unfold before our eyes? While fans are split, I feel certain that the chemistry between the characters and the actors makes their relationship a memorable slow burn romance.

I am a total romantic, and nothing gets me better than the slow burn romance. The slow burn is the unexpected budding of romantic feelings between two people over a period of time. The slow burn relationship usually starts off very platonic, and then like a switch something changes.

The slow burn theme is very common in romance, suspense novels, and television series because the build-up and the "will they, won't they" question create excitement for the readers and viewers. The slow burn romance can be friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I find them both intriguing.

And then there is the correlation to real life, and how the slow burn seems to be the recipe for long-term happiness and relationship longevity. Friends can and do become lovers and romantic partners and these relationships are the strongest. For shows with agonizing romance, here is my list of television shows with stand-out slow-burn romantic chemistry.

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Slow Burn Romance In Television

• Carmy/Sydney - The Bear

• Lucifer/Chloe - Lucifer

• Any Vampire Series

• Lan Mondragon/Nynaeve - The Wheel of Time

• Marian/Larry - The Gilded Age

• Phryne/Jack - Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (Epic Slow Burn)

• Archer/Lana Kane - Archer

• Rick/Michonne - The Walking Dead

• Jim/Pam - The Office

As much as the slow burn appeals to many people, the actually consummation seems to be a buzz kill. Many shows lose their steam after the slow burn couple gets together. Is it because the slow burn is fantasy and romantic, but with a relationship comes struggles.

Is it possible some of the relationship pitfalls and struggles can be avoided if the transition from crushes to lovers is handled carefully?

The slow burn is special because the foundation of the relationship is not based on appearance or sex, but genuine fondness and chemistry that grew into more. There is an internal switch that is flipped and a dynamic shift in the relationship. The scary thing, and the undeniable hotness about the slow burn, is the build-up. The build-up of wanting more, and suddenly wanting each other.

Over time, the desire for things to be out in the open is there, but there is also an element of fear.  A fear that maybe you will not live up to each other’s fantasies. A fear that you will be disappointed, or even worse, that you will disappoint them. Highly unlikely with the slow burn chemistry, but still a very realistic fear.

I have had experience with a slow burn, and I would use three words to describe the feelings: complicated, intense, giddy. It catches you by surprise, and then it becomes all you can think about. 

I truly believe that the slow burn flame never goes out. It may not always burn with the same intensity as it did when first ignited, but depending on those involved, I firmly believe the smolder is there to stay.

What are your thoughts on the slow burn? Any slow burn experience? If so, did you go for it or stay put? Please share your story or experience!

“Hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

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The Look Back and The Signs Of Secret Longing

I like to people watch because I find human behavior so interesting. As humans we do so many subtle things that mean so much. One particular behavior has recently caught my eye, and that is the look back. Some of you may be wondering what the heck is the “look back”, but others knew right away.

Once I noticed it, I mean really noticed it, I had to know more. I started to notice it in the morning drop offs with parents and their children at my daughter's school.

I also noticed when I saw a groups of friends parting ways after a movie.  But the big stand out was with couples, and what appeared to be the slow budding romances.

Why The Look Back

To some degree this blog goes hand in hand with my recent “ Love…Being, Falling, Crazy In It” blog. The look back in the case of love and lust is often about regret. It is the silent “one last look at you before I leave you, because believe me, I don’t want to leave you". 

The look can be subtle or smoldering, but either way it is still telling. The return look is just as telling, and important. If only one of the two looks back, it does not bode well for a future dalliance.

Just about every romantic movie I have seen has the look back moment. I had to think back over the years for the look back moments in my history. I admit that in the past I fought the temptation to look back sometimes. I wanted to look back, to see him again yes, but also to know if he was looking back at me.

When your eyes meet that one final time on the look back, it sends your heart fluttering, and you feel warm and tingly all over. It puts a smile on your face, and thoughts in your mind that will leave you restless.

Movies That Have Memorable Look Back Moments

• Sixteen Candles

• Sense and Sensibility

• Bridget Jones's Diary

• Waiting to Exhale

• Dirty Dancing

• The Titanic

• Love Actually

• The Notebook

Does a look back at someone after you, or they have started to walk away mean nothing, or everything? I suppose one could say it depends, and that may be true.

In the case of love and lust, only the two looking back at each other know why they couldn't resist that one last glance, but there are signs of secret longing you can look for.

Signs Of Secret Longing

• The Look Back

• Prolonged Goodbyes

• Intense Eye Contact

• They Flush and Blush In Your Presence

• They Cannot Stay Away From You

What are your thoughts on the look back and secret longing? Have you ever experienced this feeling and behavior? Please share your thoughts or experience!

“…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.” ― Homer, The Iliad

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6 Signs He's Hitting On You

Ok, so maybe you think that this topic is a no brainer. Maybe you are always certain when a guy is hitting on you, or when he is just being polite. In my experience, different men use different tactics to show their interest in a woman. For some men, they are not even aware of how their actions and behaviors change when they are flirting with a woman.

The dating game and the process of meeting someone and starting something new can feel like a game of cat and mouse. Everyone tries to read the other and plot their next move. This process can also be filled with uncertainty. Is he really interested in me? Is he hitting on me?

When a man is interested and hitting on you there are some sure signs of his intentions. You just need to know what to look for.

Signs He’s Hitting On You

He Gets Close

When a guy is hitting on you he will try to get as physically close to you as possible. I don’t mean in a gross, creepy kind of way. I mean he will want to be standing or sitting in close proximity to you. He wants you to be aware of presence.

He wants to be close enough to you to smell your perfume, stare into your eyes, and create some contact.

He Stares Into Your Eyes

Eye contact is a good way to establish a connection. Plus, when he is interested and flirting with you, he will want to stare into your eyes. The eyes send a strong message of interest or a lack of it. The amount of eye contact will depend on the personality of your guy.

A man who is more bold and aggressive may hold eye contact with you for a long time. While a guy is who is shy or unsure of your interest is more likely to make eye contact, look away, and then make eye contact again.

He Makes Lame Jokes

A man who is hitting on you will make attempts at being charming. One of the ways he will do this is by trying to be the funny man. When a guy is hitting on you he will try to show his cutesy, laid back side, which will include some jokes.

He knows that if he can get you to laugh, or at least smile, and he will have a shot.

He Lightly Touches You

He is hitting on you because he is attracted to you. And because he is attracted to you, he will want to touch you. He may lightly touch your arm, your hands, or even your lower back. He will use any excuse to try to make physical contact with you.

He is also looking for your reaction to his touch. If you retract from his touch he will know, or should know, that you are not interested. Whereas if he is close enough to you that your arms or legs brush one another, and you do not create space between you two, that you might be interested as well.

Offers To Help You

When a man is hitting on you he will try to be your knight in shining armor. He will offer to buy your drinks, carry things for you, help you move, and even do your work or homework. He wants to be there for you, and show you that he is a reliable, dependable gentleman.

If he is a co-worker he may bring you a coffee in the morning, offer to buy you lunch, and they will always want to help you with a work project.

Tries To Entice You

A man hitting on you will want you to feel just as attracted to him as he is to you. He wants to look hot for you. He will take extra care with his appearance. He may wear cologne, flex his muscles, and flash his pearly whites.

When you think about it, when a man is hitting on you he is usually pretty obvious. When in doubt, listen to gut, trust your instincts, and if all else fails refer to this blog for the signs a man is hitting on you.

What are your thoughts on the signs of a man hitting on you? Do you agree with my signs? What signs do you look for? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“The law of attraction says that like attracts like, and when you think and feel what you want to attract on the inside, the law will use people, circumstances and events to magnetize what you want.” - Rhonda Byrne

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6 Signs He’s Trying To Get Your Attention (And What His Behavior Really Means)

When a guy is interested in you and trying to attract you, he will behave a certain way to get your attention. It really is cute and quite sweet when you think about it. He may go about trying to attract you in a subtle way, or be blatant to test the waters to see if you are interested too.

Men and women use different tactics when trying to attract someone they are interested in. While women may seem obvious because they flip their hair, or laughs at a guy’s silly jokes to attract the guy they’re interested in, men are just as obvious if you know what signs to look for.

6 Signs He’s Trying to Attract You

He Dresses To Impress

If he knows that he is going to be seeing you he will go out of his ways to look his best for you. If he knows your favorite style or favorite color he will tailor his look to attract you.

He Talks Louder

He may not be talking to you, but he wants you to hear everything he is saying. He will try to sound as cool, smart, or as funny as possible. He wants you to be aware of his presence and he wants your attention.

His Body Language

A guy who is trying to attract you will have very open, positive body language towards you. His feet will be pointed towards you and he may also mirror your behavior and subconsciously groom himself.

Funny Man

When a guy is trying to attract you he will try to be funny and charming. He wants you to like him, and he recognizes that laughter is the way to make you feel relaxed around him and for him to endear himself to you.

Shares Your Interests

If a guy is interested in you he will do his homework. He will find out everything he can about you, especially your likes, your dislikes, and your hobbies.

Your interests and hobbies are his way in. If he knows you’re into cycling he will learn all he can about cycling or even take it up himself, so he can talk about it with you and create commonality and bond.

Eye Contact

When a guy is trying to attract you he will first off start by making a lot of eye contact. He will look deep into your eyes and try to make a deep connection. As he gazes at you he will try to hold your gaze to make sure you know that he is interested.

You should now know the signs when a guy is trying to attract you. If you are interested in him as well, tell him so or at least let your body language do the talking. Hopefully he will find the courage to make a move.

Can you tell when a guy is trying to attract you? What are your thoughts on the signs that he is trying to win you over? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“You see in all my life I’ve never found what I couldn’t resist, what I couldn’t turn down. I could walk away from anyone I ever knew, but I can’t walk away from you.” - Billy Joel, Shameless (Performed by Garth Brooks)

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5 Texting Signs He Likes You: How To Read His Messages

We communicate in so many different ways now. Communication is no longer just about face to face chats or phone calls. Social media and texting has taken the place of our typical way of communicating.

Unlike in-person interactions, where we are able to read facial expressions and body language, texting removes this layer of contact.

I believe that a huge sign that someone is really into you, is that there is a big difference between the person you text with, and the person you talk to in person. I think you will often find that the more contradicting the behaviors are, the greater their feelings are for you.

If you can joke and flirt through text, and completely be your most authentic self, but when you are face to face, your interactions are almost opposite, that means some serious feelings are there. He is afraid to show you how he really feels, but he had been telling by text. You just need to know the signs.

Signs He Likes You Based On Text

He Initiate Contacts

Guys do not like to text much or spend a lot of time on phones in general. When a guy initiates contact with you out of the blue it is because you are on his mind, and he craves interaction with you.

So, if a guy is making an effort to reach out to you via text, it probably means he likes you.

He Responds Fast

We all have that friend that takes foorrrever to respond to a text, but when a guy is interested in you and you text him, he will respond right away. He responds quickly because he is excited to hear from you.

Studies have found that when we get a text message from someone we like or have feelings for, we will respond right away and type faster than usual.

He Keeps The Conversation Going

If a guy likes you, he will want to talk, text, and interact with you as much as possible for as long as possible. While texting with him you may feel that the conversation is winding down, but he keeps it going by introducing new topics. He doesn’t want it to end.

He Asks Questions About You

He wants to know everything about you. He asks about your family, your childhood, and wants to know all your likes and dislikes. He is trying to find some commonality between the two of you, and shared interests. The more he knows about you, the easier it will be for him to win you over.

He Gets Flirty

He is very flirty through text. His flirting may consist of sexual innuendos, which makes his intentions a bit more obvious. But his flirting can also be sweet, or cute with funny and silly emojis. Men are not big on emojis.

If a guy is sending emojis with hearts or kissey faces, he is trying to be cute and he wants you to know he’s interested.

Text messaging is one of the typical ways we communicate today. If you are unsure if the guy you are texting with is interested, these signs should help you recognize his feelings. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“In the bottom of my heart lies a secret which I have never told a soul in the world. There is an image of this person who is dearest to me and closer than anything else.” - Melanie Rock

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Physical Attraction vs Emotional Connection: Which Matters More?

It is not usual for someone to see a person, and instantly have a mental connection with them. Most people are visual, so physical attraction is often what piques our romantic, or sexual interest in another person.

Physical attraction often comes first, but there are times when a mental connection can happen almost instantly, or so I have been told.

Mental connections can occasionally be confused with strong physical attractions. You can desire a person so much that you create a mental and emotional connection in your mind that really doesn’t exist.

Once the sexual act occurs, or the attraction wears off, the mental connection “suddenly” leaves.

Physical attractions are honestly an everyday occurrence. There are attractive people everywhere, but good luck finding a deep mental connection with someone. They are rare, and they are special.

Physical Attraction

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Physical attraction is based on physical appearance, and how attractive you find another person. Physical attraction is about a pretty or handsome face, or a nice figure or sexy body. You desire them. You want them. You like the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, and even the way they smell.

Signs Of Physical Attraction

• Big Smiles

• Nervousness

• Grooming

• Touching

• Mirroring Behavior

• Lots Of Eye Contact

Mental Connection

Mental connection is not mutually exclusive from physical attraction, but it is so much more. A mental connection is about shared interests, similar intellect, and chemistry. You get one another, and just click.

Mentally you feel close to them, and you have a quiet, unspoken understanding about many things. You can communicate with your eyes, because with your mental connection, you often know what the other person is thinking or feeling.

Signs Of A Mental Connection

• Conversation Is Effortless

• You’re Comfortable Being Yourself With Each Other

• You Can Read Each Other

• There Is An Intensity To The Relationship

• You Feel In Sync With One Another

• You Share A Powerful Mutual Respect

Which Is Better?

Physical attraction is important, and the importance of being physically attracted to your partner should not be discounted. However, the challenge with physical attraction is the inevitable change of physical appearance over time.

We all age, and gravity will wreak some havoc on the body. If a relationship was primarily based on physical attraction, then the partners will surely become dissatisfied in the long run.

Mental connections usually take time to flesh out. A mental connection is not noticed from across the room, and usually happens only after interactions, and getting to know someone. It should be noted that a mental connection may also be realized after just one conversation.

In my opinion, mental connections win every time. Physical attraction is important, but looks fade. Also I have found that how I felt about someone as a person directly affected how I viewed their attractiveness.

I have met men in the past, and at the initial meeting I found them to be attractive. After getting to know them, I became turned off by their personalities, or lack of intelligence, and no longer found them attractive.

With mental connections, people can become more attractive. The deeper the connection, the greater the attraction. Mental connections often create love goggles, which prevents one from seeing physical flaws that they would normally zone in on, because they are so in love.

For me, it comes down to who would I want to spend the rest of my days with. Do I want someone who I find very attractive, but have little or no mental connection. Or do I want to be with someone I have an amazing mental connection with? I think the answer is obvious, but I believe it also depends on where you are at in your life.

What are your thoughts on mental connection versus physical attraction. Which do you value more? Please share your story or experience!

“Physical attractions are common, but a mental connection is rare. Once you’ve had the latter, the former will never be enough” - Unknown

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Is Love at First Sight Real? What Psychology Says About Instant Attraction

Love at first sight is a phenomenon. You see someone across a crowded room and feel an instant connection and a gut feeling that this person is who you were meant to be with.

Fortunately, luck would have it that the one you fell in love with at first sight just so happens to be hot or gorgeous. No coincidence there, right?

Love, at first sight, is rare, but do you believe it can actually happen? Many will poo poo the concept of love at first sight, and rightfully so, in my opinion.

I mean after all, what could we possibly know about someone after just one sighting or meeting? But others are firm believers that it can happen, mainly because it has happened to them.

Movies and literature would have you believe that love at first happens all of the time and will lead to a “happily ever after” ending.

I mean, after all, didn’t Cinderella get her glass slipper after just one encounter? A moment in time can be wonderful, but what happens when reality sets in?

Here’s What Psychology Says About Love At First Sight

Most psychologists stress the importance of distinguishing attraction from love. People can form first impressions in milliseconds. Within seconds of meeting someone, your brain is already evaluating their body language, facial expressions, their voice, and yes, their level of attractiveness. There is also a perceived familiarity and trustworthiness with this attractive stranger. The immediate reaction to your initial assessment can be powerful and feel like love, but psychologists will say it is likely just attraction.

Psychologists say you can absolutely experience attraction, chemistry, and a profound sense of connection at first sight. Whether it becomes love depends on what happens afterward.

How Biology Plays A Part

That instant attraction you feel is not just happening in your heart and eyes; it’s happening in your brain. The dopamine hit you get when the initial attraction happens is an electric feeling. You feel excited and energized by the feeling. The oxytocin hit you get from being in close proximity to this person will make you feel bonded to them and more physically attracted to them.

Is Love At First Sight Possible?

Reasons To Believe In Love At First Sight

• Instant Attraction

• Amazing Chemistry

• Soulmates

• Gut Feeling

Reasons To Not Believe In Love At First Sight

• Based Solely On Physical Attributes

• Unknown Commonality

• Masks Are Still On

• You Can’t Love What You Do Not Know
  
  
  

I have often heard love at first sight referred to as “lust” at first sight, and I have to agree. While I have personally never felt like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight, I have had that instant attraction.

I have experienced seeing someone from across the room and feeling a strong emotion as our eyes met. The next time our paths crossed we hit it off and dated for a couple of years. Was it love at first sight? No, it was not love because I didn’t know him, I desired him. Big difference in my opinion.

Would it surprise you to know that more than 50 percent of people believe in love at first sight? It surprised me quite honestly. It just goes to show how much we link feelings of love to physical attraction, at least initially. I say initially because we tend to find people more or less attractive as we get to know them, which I think disproves the possibility of love at first.

What I believe can happen is that an initial attraction and fascination can grow and turn into everlasting love.

What are your thoughts on love at first sight? Are you a believer or a cynic? Has it ever happened to you? Can it be love at first sight if the feeling is only one-sided? Please share your story and experience!

“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” - Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces Of You

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