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5 Signs He's Not Interested...So Keep It Moving
If the man you are crushing on is a friend or if he is a nice guy, he will not want to hurt your feelings by coming out, and directly stating that he is not interested in you romantically. So he may intentionally or unintentionally drop hints in order to spare your feelings.
To spare yourself some heartache and embarrassment you need to know what signs to look for.
Let's be honest, you are probably sending signals, and he may not even be picking up on them. A man can be pretty clueless sometimes when a woman is romantically interested in him. However, if a man is romantically interested as well, there are many signs to look for.
The first sign, and most obvious, is the look in his eyes. Try as we might, we cannot hide love in our eyes.
Signs He Is Not Interested
He Will Talk About Other Women
If a man is romantically interested in you, the last thing he wants is for you to think about him being with another woman. He will avoid discussing other women who could be considered a romantic threat with much care.
But if he is not interested and does not see you romantically, he may openly discuss the women he finds attractive, talk of girlfriends, and mention the women he is dating.
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Often Reminds You That You Are Friends
Friendship is the foundation of any strong romantic relationship. However, when you are his "buddy", and he is always reminding you that you are his friend, you have been friend zoned.
Yes, it is possible that he wants you to know how much you mean to him, and how much he values your friendship, but if it is also accompanied by him being gross in front of you and treating you like one of the guys, you're out. He is not interested.
He Avoids Being Alone With You
If a guy is interested, he will want to be able to have his alone time with you. He just wants to talk, and stare, and spend as much one on one time with you as possible. However, if a guy is not romantically interested it will not occur to him to spend alone time with you, or he many even actively avoid it.
The Way He "Doesn't" Look At You
When a man is interested in you romantically there is a lot of eye contact. Ask yourself does he look deep into your eyes when you talk to each other? Does his face light up when you walk into a room? Chances are if you have not seen these behaviors from your love interest, then he is not interested.
Your Gut Feeling
Forget what you want to believe, and listen to your gut feelings. While those deep down feelings, those nagging thoughts in the back of your mind, are not always right, most of the time they are accurate.
You will likely have a feeling deep down that your affection is not returned. It is important not to cloud your thoughts with your desire for a different outcome.
You will not win his heart by doing his laundry, buying him things, or even by being his friend with benefits. He is either feeling you or he is not. You deserve someone who wants to be your guy. You deserve someone who feels the same way you that you do about them.
By now you should be able to recognize whether or not your feelings are returned by your romantic interest. Unrequited love is heartbreaking, but we cannot force someone to feel something they do not, no matter how much we want them to. For the sake of your own heart, and well being, you will need to find a way to move on and get over your love.
Take comfort in knowing that you will fall in love again, and that love will be returned. What is your experience with a romantic interest who seems less than interested? Do you wait and hope, try harder to win them over, or move on? Please share your experience!
“A person doesn't know true hurt and suffering until they've felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere.” ― Rose Gordon, Her Imperfect Groom
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Commitment Issues...6 Signs He's Doesn't Want To Settle Down (With You)
Not everyone necessarily wants to get married and have children, but most of us want companionship and someone to share our lives with. Sometimes finding the right one to spend your life will come easy, and other times you have to have several practice relationships to get it right.
Ideally, the man you decide to spend the rest of your life with feels the same way, but sometimes that just isn't the case. You fall madly in love with a man, and hope that he feels the same way, but your gut is telling you that something is off.
You have that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that he doesn't see you as his forever girl, and instead of listening to your gut, you push those negative thoughts away.
Sure, we would all love to live in la la land, and have our hearts desire dropping to one knee, declaring his love for us, and promising to love you and only you forever and always.
But meanwhile, back in reality, it doesn't always work out that way, and sometimes (wait for it) he's just not that into you. Here are the signs to look for in a guy who has no interest in committing to you.
Signs He Doesn't Want To Settle Down (With You)
He Avoids Discussing A future - I don't just mean he avoids discussing names for your future fictitious children. I am talking about he won't commit to being your date for your best friend's wedding in three months.
He Tells You
If he tells you he never wants to get married and doesn’t want kids, believe him, and do not waste your time trying to convince him he actually wants otherwise. Yes, it is possible that he is just young, or just not at that place in his life where he is even thinking about settling. But if you are in that "place" of wanting to get married and possibly start a family, you need to keep it moving.
He may change his mind, but maybe he won't. You are not at the same place in life. and it would be foolish to put your hopes and dreams on hold for someone who may never get to that "place".
He Wants To See Other People
He tells you he wants to see other people and encourages you to do the same. This is not a good sign at all. Not only is he telling you that he is keeping his options open, but he is also saying he doesn't even care if you are dating or sleeping with other guys. A man who doesn't want you all to himself, is a man who doesn't really want you.
He Doesn't Make You A Priority
Time with him is all about what is convenient for him. He sometimes makes you feel that he is doing you a favor by spending time with you, and doing things that are important or of interest to you. If you feel like you are not a priority to him, it is because you are not.
He Doesn’t Like Labels
You have been seeing him for months, yet you still have no idea if you are a couple or not. He introduces you as his friend, and when you ask him where things are going he deflects by telling you he doesn't like labels. If this is the case, he doesn't want you for his girlfriend or anything else remotely resembling a commitment.
You Just Know
It's that gut feeling telling you that you are way more into him, than he is into you. You want him, and you want the relationship to work so bad, but your gut is telling you that he is not for you, and the relationship is not meant to be.
There comes a time in most us our lives when want to slow down, and have stability in both our personal and professional lives. It is important not to waste your time and break your own heart waiting around for a guy who doesn't want the same things you want. Or maybe, I know this is harsh, but he just doesn't want to spend his life with you.
Don't be the girl that tricks, manipulates, or gives a guy an ultimatum to get him to commit to you. Marriages that start off with reluctance are not likely to have a happy ending. You are better than that and you deserve so much more. Be patient. You cannot force these things. If you force a relationship with a man who doesn't want to settle down, or at least not settle down with you, you are likely to have a lot of regret in your future.
What is your experience dealing with a guy who won't commit? What did you do? Did you go, or did you stay? Please share your experience?
"Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” - James Patterson, The Angel Experiment
8 Signs You Are Not A Couple Anymore...You’re Just Roommates
How does a once hot and passionate couple go from being lovers to roommates? No one can say for sure, but the why varies from relationship to relationship. At some point in the relationship, you fell out of love, the passion left, and you just continued on as usual minus all the elements that actually made you a couple.
Whether you are married, or in a long term committed relationship, the roommate syndrome can happen to anyone. People change, circumstances change, and relationships evolve over time. The newness and excitement that is present in the early stages of a relationship will eventually fade, and reality will set in.
Once the relationship comes back down to earth after spending months in the clouds with crazy love and passion, it can be challenging to maintain that fire. Compatibility, good chemistry, and shared values and life goals will go a long way in keeping a relationship strong, and help prevent the roommate syndrome.
Here are 8 signs to look for if you think you might have become roommates.
Signs You Are Living Like Roommates
Sleeping Apart
If you are sleeping apart, whether it is every night, or just a couple of days a week, you are roommates. The marital bed is where your true intimacy happens. You have sex there, it is where you cuddle, and it's that place you have your deep talks before falling asleep.
No Touching
You barely touch one another, if you touch each other at all. Maybe you are not one for public displays of affection, but there should be kisses, hugging, hand holding, and gentle touches given to each other on a regular basis.
If you can barely remember the last time you had a passionate kiss with your significant other, you are roommates.
No Fighting
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You both are just so polite to one another. Not that you should be screaming at one another, but no fighting means no passion and no fire.
When you become so detached from your partner that you cannot be bothered to have a disagreement, or you just stop speaking to one another because they annoy you all the time, you have checked out of your relationship, and you are just roommates.
Lack Of Intimacy
If you rarely have sex, if you have it at all, you are just roommates. When the sex feels like a chore, or like something you just have to get done and over with, you are not a couple. If the sex is not enjoyable, and foreplay is non existent, the relationship is all but over.
No Quality Time Together
Quality time can be spent many ways, but the key word is quality. Quality time can be had while cooking together, having a nice meals together, or by just vegging out together in front of the television with a glass of wine. Discussions about the kids, household chores, or talks about bills or finances is not quality time.
Quality time will deepen your connection. If you are not spending quality time together, and do not want to spend quality time with one another, you are just roommates.
No Deep Conversation
When you do talk to each other it is very surface discussion, or about the kids. You avoid discussing your relationship issues, or about anything that will rock the boat. Talking about hopes and dreams is a thing of the past, and you avoid discussing the future because you know you will not likely be together much longer.
Nothing In Common
You have come to the realization that you have nothing in common with your partner. In the early stages of relationships it is easy to get so caught up in the passion and attraction that you don't realize that you have next to nothing in common.
You convinced yourself that it didn't matter, or pretended to like and enjoy things you really didn't, for the sake of making the relationship work. If the only things you share in common with your partner is that you live together, have a dog, or both eat food, you are not a couple, you are just roommates.
Always Apart When Together
You are upstairs, and he is downstairs. You’re in the garage, and she’s in the kitchen or with the kids. Anything to avoid spending any real time together. If when you get home from work you consistently go your separate ways in your home, you are just roommates.
Although every relationship is unique, and different in their own way, they all tend to share some fundamental challenges. Life happens, and we all get busy with work and kids, but that is not the reason you become roommates. In fact, being busy with work and kids is the excuse you give yourself for why the magic and love has left.
You ignore the problems in your relationship, and tell yourself that it's just a phase, and it will get better. But it won't.
In my personal opinion, the roommate relationship occurs because the relationship has died, but no one wants admit it, or deal with the obstacles that come with untangling your lives. So instead of being honest with yourself, and your partner, you hope things will get better or just accept that this is your life, and settle for having a roommate.
What are your thoughts on the roommate syndrome? Is a roommate relationship better than being alone? Do you think these relationships can get better? Or are they a waste of the valuable time you have in this life? Please share!
"In some relationships there comes a time when the two people just outgrow each other." Unknown
Unrequited Love...5 Things You Need To Do When You Have A Crush
Unrequited love is the feeling of being head over heels, hopelessly in love with someone who cannot or will not return the love. The object of love may be unaware, and completely oblivious to the love directed at them. Or they may be very aware of the feelings for them, and completely uninterested and rejecting the affection.
When I think of unrequited love, I often think in the terms of school girls crushes. School girl crushes are usually sweet, but can be obsessive.
At a young age it can hard to convey feelings, and read the object of your love to know where you stand. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprising, is the fact that unrequited love situations do not end with teenage angst.
5 Things To Do
Test The Waters
Love from afar is cute, but it doesn't get the guy. You have to get in there, do some flirting, and see what response you get. I am going to make the assumption that if you believe that you are in love with someone, then chances are you want to be with them.
Test the waters by making your feelings more obvious. You have been hiding your feelings, maybe too well, and they may be completely clueless about how you feel, and where they stand with you.
Confess Your Feelings
There are few things scarier than putting yourself out there and confessing how you feel to someone when you have no idea where you stand with them. Some people are terrible at picking up on clues. If you are not sure that they know how you feel, tell them.
What if they feel the same way? What if they have been in love with you from afar as well? Take a risk, be brave, and be honest. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Move On
After you have confessed your feelings, and the response was less than positive, you have to start to move on. It will be hard at first, maybe even feel impossible after all the time you have spent fantasizing about a future together, but letting go is a must.
It's not going to happen. Sounds harsh, right? Just remember there are plenty of men out there, and believe it or not, you will fall in love again, and be happy, but not if you continue to waste time on "not the one".
Give It Time
With unrequited love, we see all perfection and not the flaws. We are all flawed, but once we place someone on a pedestal, not only do we fail to see the real them, they also become out of reach.
Eventually, over time, as your feelings fade you will see the real them. Not that they should be viewed as a horrible person because they didn't return your feelings, but it is okay to recognize and acknowledge their imperfections.
Analyze
Unrequited love situations can happen, but they shouldn't happen to any one person all of the time. It is important to make sure that you don't have a pattern of falling for people who can't or won't return your love, or are somehow unavailable.
If this is the case, it is important to recognize the pattern, and break it. It's not healthy.
There is a sweetness to unrequited love, but there is also a lot of sadness. It can be hard to see the reality, when your love existed in a perfect vacuum of hopes, dreams, and fantasies.
I look back on the two times I had huge crushes on guys in high school. It was unrequited, they were older, and unavailable. I later had an opportunity with both guys. The first guy turned out to make a better friend than anything else.
The second guy revealed himself to be a no good guy while trying to hit on me years after my crush, but that's a story for another blog.
My experience has been that the guys later regretted missing out on the girl with the crush, but too little too late as I had moved on, and my feelings were gone. I suppose if it was real love it would have stayed.
What is your experience with unrequited love? Did you confess your feelings? Did you get the guy? Did you ever get over it? Please share!
To want and not to have, sent all of her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have - to want and want - how that wrung her heart, and wrung it again and again. - Virginia Woolf
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