words to video
I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
This Or That...Given Two Options, Which Would You Choose?
Some might say that having an option is often an illusion. The world seems to be full of choices, but are all of those options really available to you? There are a lot of car choices, but can afford to buy any car you choose?
There are thousands of potential colleges to attend, but will they accept you? With billions of people in the world, we still sometimes do not get the one we want. Choices have limitations. Even with the brains, money, looks, and charm, you cannot have it all.
Life might be simpler with fewer choices. Perhaps lead to less disappointment? If you only had two choices what would you pick? Trust me, I keep it real simple.
Food Options
Pizza or Burger
Fries or Chips
Tacos or Nachos
Salad or Sandwich
Pasta or Panini
Cookies or Brownies
Big Kid Toys
Home Movie Theatre or Infinity Pool
Playstation or Xbox
Jet Ski or Surf Board
Yacht or Private Jet
Villa or Log Cabin
Tesla or Nissan GT-R
Man/Woman
Beautiful/Handsome or Sexy (not really the same)
Smart or Funny
Kind or Reliable
Strong or Passionate
Loving or Generous
Introvert or Extrovert
Free/Fun Time
Reading or TV Watching
To Give or To Receive (hmm)
Gym or Hiking
Traveling or Chilling at Home
Volunteering or Home Projects
Dinner Parties or Sports Bar
The answers to most of the options are very clear to me. Others were honestly a toss-up. Even though I made the list, some are tougher to choose between than others. I want both. I want it all. I love a hot guy, with a kind heart, who is smart, funny, and makes me laugh. Don't we all deserve that? What would you choose?
My Soul...I Was Told I Have A Good One, But What Does That Really Mean?
I was sitting in my office working the other day when a colleague wandered into my area, as they appeared to be a little lost. I work for a large organization, spread out over a campus. I had not seen this gentleman for nearly a year. It turns out he was checking out because he was retiring. We exchanged pleasantries, and he had some very kind words for me.
As he was about to head off, he asked if I knew where several departments were located, as some areas had moved locations. I was available so I offered to take him around to a few of the locations. I always found him to be such a nice man.
While walking around he shared his retirement plans, and spoke of his adult children. He was truly happy, and excited for the future. As we parted ways he told me how he had enjoyed working with me, and always believed me to be a person with a "good soul".
I gave him a hug, wished him well, and off he went. But his words stuck with me. A good soul. My heart warmed with those words because even though I was not quite sure what his words meant, I knew it sounded like the person I wanted to be.
I did some research and "soul" is split in two directions. The soul can be religious, or philosophical. The soul is your essence, your reason, your character, your light. I'll take that. Many believe that the soul is forever. It existed before you, and it will still exist after you are gone.
There is a desire in me to help others that comes from deep within. I will always strive to be a better person. To help more people. To impacts more lives in a positive way. Is it because I have a good soul? Maybe.
Or maybe it is because there were times in my childhood when I was growing up, and we didn't have very much, and kind people helped our family. Now my life is very different, and I am in a position where I can help others. Doing good, feels good to me.
Do you believe in souls? Is it a religious or philosophical soul? Is your soul good, bad, or indifferent? I believe I have a soul. I believe I have a purpose that is good. Perhaps one day I will have more answers. I leave you with a profound quote that challenges whether or not we are who we are, or become who we are meant to be.
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” - Hellen Keller
Patience...How Do We Wait For The Things In Life That May Never Come?
They say patience is a virtue. I say patience is a test. It is a test of endurance. A test I am more than willing to take if I know at the end it will be worth the frustration, the pain, the heartache, the suffering. But it's the not knowing that is the challenge.
I am very impatient in some ways. I can admit that sometimes I just want what I want, when I want it. No, I don't throw a tantrum, externally, but on the inside, argh. We are in a society of instant knowledge, and instant gratification. Yes, I am going to blame society, at least a little.
So many things are at our fingertips and come so easy, and yet so much is beyond our control. For example, my expiration date. I truly believe I will live to be an old woman, and die holding the hand of a beautiful man who is the love of my life. The thing is I am in my early 40s, and have a lot of life left to live. I know that I am probably in for a rollercoaster ride the next few decades of my life, especially with two girls. What will the next 40 years bring me? That's the exciting, and the frustrating question.
Life is unpredictable, crazy at times, and sometimes cruel. When we are telling ourselves "this too shall pass", it would be nice to know these words were not said in vain. A crystal ball would really come in handy, but then I suppose that would really take all of the fun out of life.
I truly believe that everything works out as it should, and I believe in fate to a large degree. I also believe that everyone ultimately gets theirs in the end, good and bad. We usually reap what we sow. I can be patient. I know it will happen.
I know this is a blog full of old adages and proverbs, and while I do not consider myself a religious person, I find them very fitting. To answer my own question posed in this blog, you just do. You just wait. What other option is there?
Do you consider yourself a patient person? Do you skip to the end of the book to see how it ends? If you could find out how your story ends, would you?
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. - Leo Tolstoy
This Life...How Did I Get Here?
Have you ever sat and reflected on your life and on how you got to where you were? Not necessarily in a bad way. Maybe your life is great, but admittedly maybe there are some things you would change if you could, right? Life is one big series of decisions. Choice after, after choice, after choice. Although many times we feel like we do not have a choice in a particular situation, it is quite often a matter of not liking the options.
I think there comes a point in all of our lives when we ask the question, "how did I get here?". Whether it is health and fitness issues, marital problems, financial problems, a work situation, or addiction. It all always comes down to our decisions along the way. You will not always choose right, but it is important to learn from your mistakes. Do not continue making poor choices, because there is always another decision to make right around the corner. There is always another chance to do better, to be better.
There is no going back in life, and very rarely are we allowed a do over. We can procrastinate, delay, stall, but eventually you have to choose, and live with that choice. Fail to choose timely, and the decision is made for you. Sometimes the options are between something easy, and something difficult. Rarely will the easy choice lead down the path of success, true happiness, or fulfillment.
Perhaps even worse than the bad decision, is no decision. A "default" decision, so to speak. Leaving your fate in the hands of others is no way to live, and the coward way out. Make the best decision you can with the information you have, own it, and hope for the best. Better yet, make additional good decisions along the way to increase the odds of success and happiness. Those are my words of wisdom, but I am still a work in progress.
You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny - Roy T. Bennett
Massages...Do You Have A Gender Preference For Your Masseuse?
I love getting massages. They are relaxing and therapeutic. I get a massage as often as I can, which is still not frequent enough. While planning an upcoming spa trip, which includes a massage, the topic came up of gender preference for the masseuse.
Personally, I prefer a female masseuse and I will explain why. I have had massages with males in the past, and with a couple of them I became uncomfortable because their hands seemed to be trying to slowly head towards areas that most definitely did not need massaging.
I know there are plenty of male and female masseuses that are professional and appropriate, but after those questionable experiences, why would I make myself uncomfortable when the goal is to relax?
I asked men and women in my life if they had a gender preference and the responses were mixed. Most of the males felt they might feel more comfortable with a female masseuse, but also felt they might choose a male if they wanted a massage with more intense pressure.
Some of the ladies did not have a preference, but said they always seemed to be paired with females. One also said she had an experience similar to mine, with the uncomfortably massage with a male masseuse. Sorry guys but I'll pass on the opposite sex massage services.
During a massage, you are alone in a room with a stranger and you are only wearing a towel, and maybe panties. It is very important to feel safe and comfortable with the experience. Of course, a funny thought always comes to when I see a woman come out of a massage with a male masseuse, and that is Sex and the City. I will not say what happens, but check out the very talented, and beloved masseuse in episode "Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman". All I can say is what the what! HI-larious!
In all seriousness, with recent news events, I highly recommend you choose very carefully where, and with whom you get a massage.
Managing Stress...How Do You Find The Calm When Your World Is Storming?
Life can feel overwhelming at times. I am not talking or thinking about giving up in any way. But sometimes I feel almost unable to catch my breathe. I am keeping a pace right now that is probably unsustainable. Trying to find the work/life balance, and be everything to everyone is draining, and nearly impossible. Have I set myself up for failure? I think so.
I have been called Super Mom, and Super Woman by many people in my life, and I know they truly mean it as a compliment. But I cannot help but feel there is some judgment of me as a mom, as a wife, as friend, even as a woman. That's probably the problem.
I generally could care less what anyone thinks of me, except when it comes to me as a mother. I have chosen to be a working mom, but I always try to ensure that my kids do not feel they are losing out on anything they would get if I were a stay at home mom.
I rush home from work everyday to make sure dinner is cooked, and we sit down together and eat as a family. Then it's off to dance class, or swim class, or swim practice. You get my point, my kids have a lot of activities. I try to squeeze in a workout at the YMCA during their classes. Then it's home for showers, homework, and prep for the next day.
Don't get me wrong, my husband helps. Some days it's divide and conquer, as one of us goes with one child to something, while the other tackles the second one.
Plus I try to write every night, and blog a couple times a week. Unfortunately my body is starting to rebel. Migraines have been almost daily, and my insomnia is as bad as it has ever been. Add in a stressful work life, and voila instant stress ball in the neck.
I confided in a friend how stressed I was, and they were really surprised. Apparently I hide it well. Too well perhaps, which is probably not good for me. My friend did a very nice gesture to lighten my mood, and said "this too shall pass", and I know that's true. But the storm still persists, as I strive to find temporary calm.
I have found some calm with reflection on the people in my life. I have people in my life who truly love and appreciate me, and others who do not. I made the decision to remove certain people from my life who I feel do not value or appreciate me.
I also made the decision to open up more, and appreciate the wonderful people in my life. The storm still rages, but I know I can weather it.
Over-Sharing...Are You Putting Way Too Much On Social Media?
In the age of reality television, exhibitionism is at an all time high. There is Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snap Chat just to name a few. Yes, I have the aforementioned accounts, with the exception of Snap Chat, but I try to post with caution.
Social media is great in so many ways. It is fun to see what your friends and family are up to, especially if they live far away, and you never get to see them. But some seem to have no online filter. Posting sexy pictures of themselves, and revealing details about their personal lives that no one has any business knowing. Well I guess it is just confiding in your 500 closest followers, I mean "friends".
Here are some of the real life posts (paraphrased) I have seen on Facebook from "friends", acquaintances, and family members. Needless to say some of the these people were unfriended.
I cannot wait to get high!
Thanks, all of you "so called" friends for not telling me my a**hole husband was cheating. F*** you all!
Obama is the devil!
He hit it so good last night...
Can you believe he wants me to get an abortion?
Did the walk of shame this morning. Just woke up at some guys house. Yikes!
I am sorry but it is very hard not to judge people who say these things basically to the world. I once asked a friend of my sister's why she would want to post a particular thing online, and her response was, "because I can". Fair enough answer I suppose, but I guess one might also want to address the question of "should I?". Just because you can, does not mean you should.
I think sometimes people forget that their future bosses, future in-laws, and possibly their children will see these posts. Once it's online there are no takesies-backsies.
Bucket List...Should Everybody Have One?
I have a friend with a serious illness. We speak on a weekly basis by phone and discuss many topics, including the treatment she is currently undergoing. Although my friend is very brave and extremely positive, I can tell that a certain amount of acceptance of what's to come is growing.
Lately the topic of discussion has been her bucket list. A bucket list is a log of things you want to accomplish before you die. At nearly 60 years old, she never thought to have one until now. She had started to become fearful, and worrisome, and understandably so, with the fierce return of the disease she thought she had beat. But starting a bucket lists seems to have rejuvenated her, and really given her a new lease on life. She went zip lining a few weeks ago and was so proud of herself for overcoming a fear, and for checking something off her shiny, new bucket list. I was proud of her as well, and so happy to hear excitement in her voice again.
Of course her being the type A woman that she is, she strongly encouraged me to start my own bucket list. I really had not thought about it before. I have had a pretty good life, and have done many things. The thing is, once I put some real thought into it, I realized there were so many more things I wanted to do before I kick the bucket. I am not going to share my bucket list, I find it too personal. I will, however, share some popular recommendations in case you are thinking about creating your own list.
- Run a Marathon
- Base Jump
- Visit Great Barrier Reef
- Learn To Fly
- Skydive
- Scuba Dive
- Go On A Safari
- Volunteer
- Travel Around the World
- Climb A Mountain
- Lose Weight
- Learn A New Language
- Float In The Dead Sea
- Do Something Kind for a Stranger
- Pursue Your Passion
- Let Someone Know How Much They Mean To You
- See the Northern Lights
So I confess, some of these are on my list, but not saying which ones. There are so many ways to live life to the fullest, or go it slow if you choose. It's your life. The point is, life is short, and always full of surprises. So enjoy it while you can.
The Pastime...What Is Your Favorite Way To Spend Your Free Time?
Favorite pastime comes to mind because I was at the Padres game last night. Baseball was once considered the national pastime, and is still a good time out, but it has recently lost its crown to football. Football is more fast paced, and people enjoy having and attending football parties.
Personally I would choose football any day over baseball, but as far as my favorite pastime, it is a tie between reading and hiking. It's ironic right? One pastime keeps me inside, while the other allows me to be out and about, and explore. Both are equally satisfying in their own way.
A pastime can be anything. By definition it is what you enjoy doing, and how you choose to spend your free time. Today I am having guests over for a barbecue because I enjoy cooking all the time, and entertaining occasionally.
Based on my personal observations in my community, and my oh so scientific polls of friends and family, here are some of the most current favorite pastimes.
Video Gaming
Cycling
Cross Fit
Watch/Attending Sporting Events
Eating
Watching TV/Netflix
Going to Movies
Listening to Music
Camping
Traveling
Favorite pastimes change as we as individuals, and as a society change. Once upon a time a favorite pastime was watching men fight beasts in an arena. Oh wait there is still bull fighting, but you get my point. The point is you have something you love doing. It makes you happy. So I am going to enjoy grilling today in beautiful weather, with friends and family, and have a yummy cocktail, or two. Cheers!
Dread...What Responsibilities, Tasks, And Chores Do You Avoid Or Try To Get Out Of?
The topic of dread comes to mind because once again I am up for jury duty. Yes, I am aware that it is my civic duty, but as it seems that I am called upon about every 18 months, by both city and federal, I am over it. I have served on three juries in the last five years. Sounds like a bit much, right?
The dreaded is really "to each his own" because there are chores I find joy in that others hates. Take for example cooking. I love to cook, and I would only dread it if I am feeling unwell.
I also love to garden, but it can be a lot of maintenance, and miserable if you don't get out in the morning before the day gets too warm.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at, life is full of the "musts". You must pay your taxes. You must follow laws and rules, whether you agree or not. I always tell to my kids, "agreement is not necessary but compliance is".
You must show up if summoned for jury duty. You do not however, have to clean your house, or do laundry, or wash dishes. But who wants to live like that?
People dread doing many things. Based on complaints from friends, family, and coworkers over the years, here is my list of the most dreaded:
Mondays
Public Speaking
Going to DMV
Holidays with the family
Dusting/vacuum
Traffic
Meetings
Paying bills
Going to the doctor/dentist
Doing dishes
Honestly, there are bigger things in life to dread other than chores, but why go there. We know what they are, and I wanted to keep this blog light. What things do you dread? Is going to work on that list?
There are some positives to all these tasks and chores, and they are cleanliness and structure. Unless of course you don't like those things.