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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Who Are You Listening To? Here's My Go To Playlist...Depending On Mood and Activity
Music has always been a part of my life. I listen to it when I am happy, and especially when I am sad. I listen to it when I am madly in love, or crazy angry. It gets me through a distance hike, and difficult workouts. I turn to it for long drives, and boring workdays.
Music has an amazing ability to transform my mood, and affirm my feelings.
I grew up listening to Al Green, Mahalia Jackson, and Donna Summer. I have fond memories of skating down Hollywood Blvd. as a youngster with my mom and aunt, boogieing along to Donna Summer on my Walkman.
It was early evening, the sun had recently set, and I felt so free. I felt incredible. It was over 30 years, and that feeling always returns whenever a Donna Summer's song comes on.
I really love all kinds of music, and manage to surprise my kids occasionally when we are jamming out, and singing along to the same song. I love electronic dance music (EDM), and went to lots of raves in high school. Don't judge me. I was really into Depeche Mode, and to this day cannot stop listening to Massive Attack. Massive Attack truly works for any mood, especially Angel and Unfinished Sympathy, which are often on repeat.
Here's Who's Likely Playing Based On Mood...
Happy Mood - Janet Jackson, Lady Gaga, Nelly Furtado, Blondie, Black Eye Peas
Sad Mood - Sia (Colour the Small One), Depeche Mode, Massive Attack, Hooverphonic, Lauren Hill
Workout Mode - Deadmau5, Araabmuzik, Calvin Harris, Bassnectar, Daft Punk
Wild Mood - Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Chemical Brothers, Jes, Outkast
Cooking/Dancing Around the House - Rihanna, Kaskade, The Rolling Stones, Britney Spears
So that is a small sample of what's on my playlist, and what I enjoy. There is definitely some overlap between mood music. What's on your playlist? Do you change it up based on mood or activity? Please share!
April Fool's Day...What's So Funny About It?
I was born on April 1st over two scores ago, and as far back as I can remember someone has tried to play an April Fool's joke on me. They felt that it being my birthday and all that I was especially deserving of some sort of prank or trick. I never found the jokes funny, and I never found any sort of appreciation for pranking people in general.
Annoyance aside, the whole tradition brought about a lot of questions. Why this day? Where did this "April Fool's Day" originate?
I started my research and found that the day itself seems almost to be some sort of prank. There are theories of its origin, but no definitive answers about where this day for making someone feel like a fool got its start.
To be fair, the pranks are supposed to be harmless and in good fun, but someone always takes it too far. There are many theories, and one is bound to be close to truth, I suppose.
One theory that stood out to me was the Roman holiday "Halaria". Hilaria was usually celebrated at the end of March and people dressed up in disguise. Even more interesting than all of the origin theories is that April Fool's Day, also called All Fool's Day, is celebrated all over the world, which I think is actually pretty cool.
Now, no one has attempted an April Fool's Day joke on me in years. I think that perhaps they realized they were more likely to face my wrath, than they were to hear a laugh.
Do not get me wrong, I enjoy a great joke and good natured teasing amongst friends and loved ones, but there has always been something about pranks that seem innately nasty, and overall mean spirited.
Honestly, I have to admit there is one great benefit to having your birthday on April Fool's Day. No one ever forgets your birthday. My birthday is a day my friends and family always remember. My birthday was wonderful today, with lots of well wishes coming from all over the country, and the world. I hope your April Fool's Day was wonderful as well.
Spring Bloom...Here's What Is Growing In My Garden
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Spring is officially here and I couldn't be any more excited. I am very fortunate to live in southern California for many reasons. The wonderful weather being my favorite. Southern California is perfect weather for growing fruits, and vegetables, but also growing beautiful perennials and annuals. Due to such mild weather, mild winters in particular, spring comes early.
Hyacinths, daffodils, lilies, and irises have already started to shoot up in my garden. The garden is lovely right now, but I have to enjoy it while it last because they will start to die after a month or so. The hyacinths are my favorite right now, because they are so fragrant and add a special something to my courtyard. Purple is the theme with blooming lavender, purple irises, and my lovely hyacinths and hydrangeas.
If you have read any of my other blogs then you know that fall is my favorite time of year. Spring is a close second because you can finally start getting back outdoors again. The days are longer, and the air is crisp, but not cold. I love the comforts and convenience of city living, but I think I am a country girl at heart. I love growing stuff!
For me, spring also means preparing my garden and the start of lots of planting. This is a great time to plant parsley, cilantro, mint, basil, and thyme. I plant everything in planters, with the exception of thyme. I grow thyme inside in a mason jar. I have actually grown parsley and cilantro indoors in mason jars as well, with relative ease.
So now you know how I will be spending my weekend. Outside, enjoying nature. I will go for a hike, come back home, and start working my garden. Gardening can be enjoyable, fun even. You can make it fun. Put on some music, and have nice cool beverages on stand by. Let the kids or hubby help, or go solo for some alone time. It will be worth it in a few short months when you can pluck fresh herbs from your garden.
Signs Of Flirting...A Learned Skill Or Natural Instinct?
There is a certain art to flirting. It can be fun and exhilarating, if you get it right. Or a hot mess, and make for a great bloopers reel if you get it wrong. Flirting means to act amorous without serious intent, but it can also be about sending out feelers.
If he flirts back maybe he's interested. Or if he's too dense to pick up on your signals, he's not the guy for you.
I know some people who are notorious flirts. They flirt with everyone, young or old, male or female. It's a game to them, and they play it well.
I learned how to flirt pretty young, around 12 years old. Of course very innocently, with passing notes, teasing, and smiles. I got better. I think my flirting abilities are a combination of natural instinct, and learned skills over time.
I suppose one could ask why do we flirt. Do we flirt for attention? To see if we still "got it". Do we flirt to manipulate, to perhaps get out of a ticket? I think this is often the case. We flirt to get what we want.
We also flirt to get who we want. Sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. A coy smile here and there. A little inside joke. The teasing and playfulness. It's all flirting, albeit innocent intentions. Or not so innocent.
Flirting is safe. It is a way to test the waters, without truly putting yourself out there. If you flirt and they flirt back, there may be something there.
So where do you do most of your flirting? At the bar or club? I bet most flirting happens at work or school. The places we spend most of our time. Maybe you know how to flirt, and you know how to recognize when someone is flirting with you. But just in case you don't know, here are some body language clues that someone is flirting.
Signs Of Flirting
Signs He's Flirting...
Smile
Remembers what you say
Touches you
Nervous twitch while talking to you
Blushing or sweaty hands
Leans in to be closer
Signs She's Flirting
Smile
Touches lips or hair
Touches you
Lots of laughing (you are not that funny)
Compliments and/or insults you
Leans in to be closer
Men and women are similar creatures. Some have perfected the art of flirting, while others are still trying to figure it out. If you are not a great flirt, don't worry about it. It is actually cute and refreshing to see the unskilled flirter. Ultimately, fate will have its way. If it is meant to be, it will happen.
We try to hide our feelings, but forgot our eyes speak. - Unknown
Bad News... How Do You Tell Someone Something You Know They Don't Want To Hear?
It is hard being the bearer of bad news, and too often the old adage "shoot the messenger" holds true. There is some news that must be shared, such as a death. But other issues such as an illness, cheating, or a betrayal of sorts, can wait or possibly, never have to be shared.
Of course there is always room to argue whether or not some things should ever be revealed. Should you ever tell your friend that their partner is cheating or a big liar? I guess it depends on the friend, the friendship, and the impact you think the information could have on their life. Some might say you should mind your own business, but this blog is about being there for your friend, and giving them difficult news.
I think that once you decide to tell someone bad news, some planning is required. You will need decide the when, the where, and the how. It is very important to know what you are going to say, and practice a couple of times if possible. Provide as much detail as possible, and allow the receiver of the news to ask questions.
Here are some additional recommendations for delivering bad news.
Do It In Person
Do It In A location That Allows For Privacy
Be Empathetic
Praise Them, A Betrayal Is Not Their Fault
Remember You Are Not The Bad Guy, You Are Doing This For Them
Allow Them To Have Their Reaction, But Remember Initial Response May Be Shock Or Denial
The most important thing to remember when delivering bad news is to make the receiver feel supported. Whether they realize it or not at the time, they will need others to lean on to get through a challenging time. Remember to be a good friend, sister, daughter, or partner.
At some point in time, we are all the recipient of bad news. Hopefully, we are all fortunate enough to have someone to lean on during those times.
How do you give bad news? Are there some things you just would not want to know? Is ignorance bliss?
5 Signs You Are Obsessed... Who Or What Consumes Your Thoughts?
Obsessions are such odd, powerful feelings. An obsession is a persistent, dominating idea, desire, thought, or feeling. We all obsess at some point or another. We obsess about our bodies, and our lovers, or potential lovers, and food, or money, and even cars. Honestly, the list could go on and on.
My Obsessions
I am currently obsessing about shoes, Jamba Juice, health and fitness, and scents. Truth be told I really don't think I have a shoe obsession, but those close to me would disagree. Fortunately California Closets designed my master closet around my shoe collection, so there is always room for a little more of my so called obsession. Now my Jamba Juice obsession is pretty guilt free. I could drink a Berry Upbeet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and at only 400 calories for a large, I would still have calories to spare.
I as I approach my mid 40's I have really started to take my health and fitness very serious. I have a bad back and knees, but regardless, I make sure to hit my target active calorie burn everyday. Whether it's with walking, weight training, or elliptical, I make the effort. I am not getting any younger, and a lot of health issues run in my family, so I had to step up my game.
My last obsession is scents. Scents in many forms. I am obsessed with lovely perfumes, clean smelling candles, and beautiful flowers. I have several vases in my home currently filled with Freesia, which is such a fragrant, pretty flower. I cannot get enough of wonderful smells. Thank goodness my olfactory system is working well.
Many of us obsess about things, our bodies, and sometimes people. An obsessions with people, or to be more specific, that certain person, we can develop obsessive love. When we initial start to fall for someone we tend to be obsessed. All thoughts and feeling revolve around that particular person.
So there you have some of my current obsessions. I say current because they change. Last year I was obsessed with fish tacos. Now tell me what are you obsessed with? Who are you obsessed with? Come on, I bet when I ask those questions, a face, or image comes to mind immediately.
How Do You Netflix And Not "Chill"?
So I grudgingly admit I am a huge nerd, and perhaps a little naive. I was woefully unaware what was truly meant by the saying "Netflix and Chill". I thought you hang out with friends or your boo, and watch Netflix. I was so wrong.
My husband heard me say to my teen daughter that we were going Netflix and Chill, and he told to me to look in Urban dictionary, because I was completely using that phrase incorrectly. Okay, so a more accurate account would be that I was referred to Urban dictionary and Google after I said, "no way does it mean that" about five time.
Urban dictionary defines Netflix and Chill as "going to your partners house to bang with Netflix on in the background". Isn't that just lovely. Well when I say Netflix and Chill (NAC), I mean vegge out and watch some Netflix.
So on to how you can have a great night enjoying Netflix, that may or may not end with some "chill" time. I really enjoy Netflix as a stay at home date, with the family for movie night, and even by myself. I prefer to have a theme for the snacks and to set the mood.
On some occasions I will buy movie theatre size candy, Coca Cola in bottles, and pop lots of popcorn. There will be lots of blanket, lights turned out, and the surround sound blasting. For a date night theme, I like to do cocktails, finger foods, and candle light.
Now what to watch? There are so many choices from series, movies, stand up comedy, and great documentaries. I recommend Santa Clarita Diet, which is funny and quirky, for maybe a girl's night in. The Princess Bride is perfect for a family movie night.
For date night, maybe go for something scary or creepy, but please no romantic comedies. Perhaps Penny Dreadful, because although it's not a romantic series, Penny Dreadful can be very sexy and sexual, and then maybe you will chill after all.
So now you know how I Netflix and Chill. Did you all know what NAC meant? Hopefully I am educating someone tonight, because otherwise this is so embarrassing.
My Lazy Saturday...I So Needed It!
Despite it being a Saturday, I was wide awake in the wee hours of the morning. Unable to sleep any longer, I got out of bed and headed down to make coffee. I sat quietly sipping coffee and reading. I always cherish my quiet hours, since most other hours of the day are spent with lots of noise, requests, and questions.
Once the family was up, we decided to go for an early morning swim. The swim was wonderful, and relaxing, but also very exhausting. My energy levels were low even before we went swimming due to lack of sleep.
Plus, I am clean eating all month, and probably need to up my caloric intake. We were done swimming by nine thirty, and then it was time to head out for our usual trip to Trader Joe's. I loaded up on fresh flowers for the house, and some other goodies as well. Last stop of the morning was Jamba Juice, for my favorite Berry Upbeet smoothie. Yum! Then back home for a long nap.
After napping I did a little laundry and packing for an upcoming trip, while I had Bates Motels on in the background on Netflix. I have been binge watching the series, and I am almost caught up to the current season.
Once I wrapped up with packing, I headed out for a short walk with my youngest daughter. Once we returned, I got dinner started, and hung out with my family. After dinner we played Yahtzee and listened to eighties music.
I will end my night with a nice bubble bath, with lavender oil, in hopes of a good night's sleep. My stress levels are very high right now so if I had to guess, I will be back at it early again tomorrow morning with coffee in hand, enjoying the silence. TTFN
The Stranger In Your Bed...How Well Do You Really Know The Person Sleeping Next To You?
When people are in relationships, and in love, we think we know our partners well. The reality is you know them as well as they want you to know them. They pick and choose what information to share and divulge. It is not always a matter of deceit, but sometimes they don't find some things relevant enough to share, but you might feel differently about the intel they choose to withhold. Other times they fear your judgement, or just want to avoid conflict.
The truth is we don't know ourselves all that well either. We are still growing and changing, and managing to surprise ourselves on occasion. Have you ever done something or said something, and later questioned your behavior? You could not explain why you did what did, or said what you said.
Ever feel conflicted about what you want, whether it's car, a person, or what to have for lunch? So if you cannot truly answer for your own wants and desires, how can you claim to know what your partner wants or thinks? Your answer might be "well they told me what they wanted or felt". Well, there has to be a certain amount of openness and trust in any relationship, but the desire to please, and not to disappoint is often present as well.
I am surprised how often people seemed to not truly know their partners. I've seen individuals behave one way with partners around, and completely different when outside of their presence. Is it that they are a complete phony? Maybe. Or is it that they fear showing their true self because that is not who the partner fell in love with? I guess that is one way to end up with a stranger in your bed.
Denial is another way to end up with a stranger. You choose not see what is right in front of you, and then write your own narrative to provide a more comfortable "reality".
How well do you think you know your partner? Have you put them on a pedestal so high that they fear showing you their true self, and falling from grace in your eyes? Remember, love is acceptance, not excuses, and denial.
People dont' want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Cyberstalking...Are You Guilty Of It?
The thought of cyberstalking sounds insanely creepy. The concept of stalking period is creepy. One usually stalks with the intent to catch eventually, right? Like an animal in the wild, watching its prey, learning its patterns, and waiting for the right moment to strike.
After all, timing is everything.
Human beings are not much different than animals in the wild. We all carry with us some basic, predatory instincts. It is our nature. Humans are also curious creatures, which can lead us to some "light" cyberstalking.
Maybe you start peeking at his Facebook, and Instagram postings. You debate messaging him, but you don't. Instead you slowly gather intel about him from the Internet. Is this stalking?
Some might say so, but you believe it's harmless. Others might say you are just being smart in finding out everything you can before initiating contact.
In all seriousness, cyberstalking is a growing problem. There is so much information readily available on the Internet, and then you add in social media, and we are all very exposed.
True cyberstalking is a crime, and involves harassing and stalking someone through email, instant messaging, and social media. But let's be honest, even if you never make contact, deep down you know you are being a little creepy.
I admit that I have definitely looked at an exes online info. Can you blame me? If I were a single woman, a guy would be smart to go through, and read my blogs. He would learn a lot about my likes and dislikes, and most importantly, the fastest way to my heart.
Unfortunately this could lead to a pretender, a guy who tricks me into loving them because we just have "so much in common". I always hope for authenticity in people, but I know to a degree, that I'm forever vulnerable because of my blogs.
Let's face it, we have now become a society of over-sharers and voyeurs. Which are you? Do you consider yourself a bit of a cyberstalker? If you are, what do you hope to gain from it? Nothing, some sort of advantage, or someone's heart? I hope you at least know why you are doing it.