Body Language...Can You Tell What He Is Thinking?
Positive body language between couple
Ok, so technically I am no body language expert, but I find it interesting and have done lots of reading on the topic. I feel pretty confident in my abilities to regurgitate, I mean share, the the info I found.
I believe if we are honest with ourselves we can admit that we spend quite a bit of time hiding our true thoughts and feelings. We hide our annoyance when we are in the check out line behind someone paying with a check, or how much we dislike our boss, or even how much we like the new guy or girl at work.
I bet you think you have it all figured out, right? You play it cool and try keep your face emotionless when your jerk boss tasks you with something they should be doing. Or the girl you are crushing on is sitting across from you in a meeting.
How do you hide your feelings? You can't, not if your boss or crush know how to read body language.
I have an expressive face so my irritation, anger, and annoyance are rarely disguised. I think I am much better at hiding my other thoughts and feelings. I hide my fear and anxiety really well. I have also been really good at hiding my attraction for certain men in the past. At least I think so.
Experts would say I had telltale signs that gave me away, of course if they knew what to look for. The eyes say it all. They will dilate to take in more of the one they are attracted to.
There is no all encompassing list of signs your body will exhibit with any one particular emotion, but the below lists have been shown to accurately predict ones true intent or feelings.
Here are signs you might exhibit if you dislike someone:
Not facing them when they talk to you
False smiles
Very little eye contact
Keeping a large distance
Yawning
Side stepping while talking to them (you want to leave)
Touching your nose
Here are signs you might be angry or hostile:
Balled fists
Pupil contraction
Running fingers through hair
Compressed or whitened lips
Crossing arms
Rapid speech
Intense glare
Shaking
Redness in face
Here are some signs you might exhibit if in the presence of someone you are crushing on or secretly in love with:
Lots of eye contact
Mirroring behavior
Gesture on appearance such as fixing tie, socks, or hair
Great posture, straightens up when in their presence
Is fidgety, and plays with things such as buttons or a pen
Touches face a lot out of nervousness
Plays with round objects in presence (this one is about sexual attraction and breasts)
Dilated eyes because they like what they are looking at
Feet point towards them, in order to keep them in your line of sight
Feeling vulnerable yet? I am. We all wear masks sometimes, often in the workplace. But our bodies betray us because research shows that whatever we are feeling shows up on our body first, not our conscious mind. Once our mind becomes aware we can put on that fake smile or look of interest.
Don't worry, sometimes people need to know how you really feel.
5 Signs It’s Time To Set Boundaries In Your Friendship...
Boundaries are an important part of any relationship. If you do not set boundaries with those in your life, then you are not respecting your yourself, or requiring that they respect you either. Often times we recognize when our friendships have veered off course, and perhaps new boundaries need to be set, but we may find it difficult to take the necessary corrective steps.
The first step with boundaries, is recognizing when you need to set them.
5 Signs That It Is Time To Set Boundaries With Your Friends
They Don't Respect Your Time
This is the friend that believes all of your free time is theirs to do with as they please. You had a long, exhausting week, and all you want to do is hibernate all weekend. But without even calling, your friend shows up, with bag in hand, declaring she's spending the weekend. A boundary is needed with this friend.
It's Always A Competition
I don't believe in competing with my friends, and I don't believe in having frenemies in my life. If your friend is always trying to one up you, it is time for a talk, and to set boundaries.
They Are Emotionally Draining
Yes, friends are supposed to be there for each other, and listen to one another. But you are not supposed to be their therapist, and it cannot be about them, and their problems all of the time. If it feels like you are always on the phone with your friend dealing with one of his or her crises, it is time to set a boundary.
They Take Advantage of You
Your friend knows you will help anyone. She needs help moving, you are there. She needs a ride to the airport, of course you will take her. The problem is, this friend is always unable to reciprocate, and is taking advantage of your kindness.
It is time to set boundaries with this friend. You can say no sometimes, and still be a good person.
They Hurt Your Feelings
Whether it's a comment about your looks or your intelligence, your friend takes digs at you. And the worse part is you feel it is done intentionally to hurt and belittle. This goes back to competing. Set the boundary, and let them know that put downs are not acceptable to you.
Relationships, whether they are romantic or friendship, are complicated. It is boils down to two individuals trying to get what they want and need out of a relationship. Sometimes they may, or may not be, taking the other persons feelings into consideration, while doing so. This is why we have to speak up.
I am a firm believer that we show people how to treat us. If you set no standard for how you are to be treated, then they will treat you accordingly. - Charlene Eckstein
5 Beauty Tips For Fighting Dry Skin In the Winter
Winter months and cold weather tends to wreak havoc on our skin. The harsh weather can leave our skin feeling dry, rough, and itchy. To make matters worse, we get to add the unattractive, crackled, prematurely aged skin look that no one is super happy about.
The good news is that with a fews simple tricks you can minimize, or even completely avoid the pitfalls of cold, dry weather. Every women needs a beauty routine, and that routine needs to be adjusted based on weather, climate, and even age. Here are my tips for fighting that winter dry skin.
5 Beauty Tips To Fight Dry Skin
Add Some Humidity - Humidifiers are not just for when you have a cold or flu. Winter weather is very dry. I recommend running a humidifier in your room at night, or at least a few nights a week. It will add some much needed hydration, and help replenish your skin.
Take Warm, Not Hot Showers - Really hot water dries your skin out. Reduce the temp, and you will not dry your skin out as much. The steam from the shower will help lock in moisture from you skin's natural oils, so close that bathroom door for a nice steam.
Moisturize - It is important to adjust your beauty routine as the weather changes. In winter months, my face cream is thicker, and more moisturizing. For the body I recommend coconut oil. Specifically for hands and feet, I suggest adding a nice layer of coconut oil to your hands and feet, and wearing booties and mittens for at least an hour. Do this overnight if possible. Your hands and feet will be so soft. Also try using coconut oil for your hair and scalp. It is wonderful.
Hydrate - Drinking lots of water is important to your winter skin. Your skin is drying out due to lack of moisture in the air, so you need to hydrate it from within. You can also hydrate by eating water rich foods such as cucumbers, watermelon, grapefruits, and lettuce.
Avoid The Cold Wind - Winter is coming, or so they say. Seasons will change, and cooler weather will come no matter. The best thing you can do for your skin in colder months is to stay out of the cold weather, if possible. Just remember that if you must venture out, be sure to wear sunscreen (yes even in winter months), sunglasses, a hat, and a scarf too.
Like all other beauty tips and tricks, consistency is key. Moisturizing occasionally is not going to cut it. Dry skin can increase wrinkles, and nobody wants that. Take care of that skin, and get your winter beauty routine going.
What do you do to combat winter dry skin? Or do you keep same the same beauty routine all year long? Just please tell me that you at least have a routine... Please share!
I'm A Home Chef But Gasp...Sometimes I Get Takeout! Can I Eat Fast Food, and Still Be Healthy?
The words fast food and healthy do not usually go together, but can they? Is it possible to enjoy fast food without loading up on fat, and sodium, and sugar? I think the answer is yes. Many fast food chains offer healthy, low calorie options, but that is not usually what we are there for. Just like many Americans I love french fries and burgers, but I also love a great salad, turkey sandwich, or a tasty soup.
At Wendy's you can get a half size caesar side salad for 250 calories, and you can add a small chili for another 180 calories. That's not bad and is actually really filling. Or you can grab some Panera Bread for breakfast, and have their breakfast power sandwich, which is delicious, for just 340 calories. Go back for lunch and get their cream of chicken wild Rice soup for 310 calories. You can view all of Panera Bread's nutritional values at panerabread.com. I recommend doing this for all restaurants before eating out.
Panera Bread Power Breakfast Sandwich
Don't get me wrong, I love cooking, and taking leftovers for lunch. But sometimes there are no leftovers from the night before, or I am craving something different. It is nice to know that I can get fast food, and have somewhat healthy options. Now, whether or not I am choosing the healthy options is between me, and my scale. I would also like to add the caveat that low calorie doesn't necessarily mean healthy. Don't forget to look at the fat, sugar, and sodium content.
Let's be honest, it is always healthiest to cook at home. You can control the fat and sodium content that goes into your food. But in our busy lives sometimes we go for what is fast and convenient. I don't believe that means we have to sacrifice healthy food choices.
When you go fast food, do you go healthy? Do you never have fast food? Or do you just say to hell with it, and get whatever you want?
Any Morning Breakfast Bake Recipe...Make Ahead The Night Before
If you are like me, then you love a breakfast bake. Breakfast bakes are yummy, filling, and a crowd pleaser. I make some version of a breakfast bake every major holiday morning or long weekend. I prepare my any morning bake the night before, and pop it in the oven on the morning of, while family is still sleeping.
The great thing about the breakfast bake is that the ingredients are simple, and can be versatile. I have so many versions of this one recipe. You cannot go wrong. The one constant is eggs. Everything else is negotiable, based on what you have in your fridge or pantry. You can make it a veggie bake, or a meat lovers. You can use bread or potatoes. Choose ingredients based on what works for your crowd.
Here is this year's Any Morning Breakfast Bake Recipe...
Ingredients
- 8 eggs
- 1 1/2 cup milk
- 6 slices sourdough bread, cubed
- 1 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
- 1 lb Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage
- 4 bacon strips
- 4 green onions, chopped
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- 1 tsp salt
Directions
- Lightly spray 9 x 13 baking dish with cooking spray.
- On medium heat, crumble and cook sausage in skillet until brown. Drain excess grease from sausage.
- Pan fry or cook bacon on microwave safe plate until crispy. Allow bacon to cool, and crumble in with sausage.
- In a large bowl beat together eggs, milk, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Once beaten, add in half the cheese.
- Add cubed bread to baking dish, and top with sausage and bacon crumbles, and half of the chopped green onions. Pour the egg mixture evenly into the baking dish, and top with the remaining cheese.
- Cover with aluminum foil, and refigerate overnight.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F, and cook for 60 minutes covered. Remove aluminum foil, and cook for an additional 10-15 minutes, or until the bake is firm.
- Garnish with the remaining green onions and serve.
That's it! Pretty simple right? Feel free to add your own twist to this classic. I suggest serving with a side of fruit and mimosas.
I Drink Tea Everyday...And Here's Why You Should Too!
I am a big tea drinker, hot tea, not iced. I love tea, and I drink it all day long. I find no need to add sugar, or anything else to my teas. But one of my favorites is naturally sweet, and extra yummy.
My preferred tea brand is Tea Forte, but drink whatever works for you.
I used to only drink tea when I was sick, to soothe a sore throat, and warm me up. But as I got older, I started to learn about all of the health benefits of drinking tea. There are many types of teas, and they all have their own health benefits.
There is green tea, white tea, black, and herbal tea just to name a few.
Green Tea Health Benefits
Green Tea
Green tea seems to have the most health benefits, and can help boost your metabolism. Green has antioxidants and nutrients. It is known to improve brain function, aid in fat loss, help in preventing certain types of cancer, and reduce risk of Parkinson's Disease and Alzheimer's.
Green tea also improves dental and cardiovascular health, and reduces risks of Type 2 Diabetes.
Black and White Teas Health Benefits
White tea also contains antioxidants, more in fact than green tea. The tea improves cardiovascular health, lowers cholesterol, improves weight loss, and reduces risk of cancer.
Black tea, much like green and white tea, aids in cardiovascular health, immune system, and reduces cancer risk. It also helps with skin, hair, and digestive problems.
African Solstice
Herbal Tea Health Benefits
Herbal teas come in many varieties. One of my favorites is African Solstice, which is absolutely delicious. The benefits of herbal teas are dependent on the type of tea you choose. Some of the most common herbal teas are peppermints, rosehip, ginger, and chamomile, and each of these have their own benefits.
Peppermint tea will help with gas and bloating, while ginger helps with nausea. Chamomile helps you sleep, and aids in recovery with cold and fever. Rosehip tea helps boost your immune system, with its high vitamin C content. It also helps skin and adrenal functioning.
So I bet you are asking yourself right now, why haven't you been drinking tea all this time. It is never too late to start reaping those benefits. Drink up!
Confessions Of An Insomniac...No Cure, But A Plan
I confess I am an insomniac. I am used to having trouble falling asleep, and staying asleep. This is my norm. But this past week has been extreme even for me. I am surviving on 2-3 hours a night of interrupted sleep, and really starting to feel unfocused, unmotivated, and unable to gather my thoughts. Surprisingly I am not irritable. Maybe because I am actually too tired to be annoyed, or mad at anyone right now.
Iphone 8
Tonight I am determined to get at least 6 hours of sleep. As an insomniac I know all about sleep hygiene. My doctor has lectured, I mean informed, me that I shouldn't have my iPhone, my iPad, or my laptop near my bed, which of course they all are. But in my defense, the phone is on night mode at 9pm, and I am off the iPad early, and I put my Macbook away no later than 9pm every night as well. I have done the research, and there are literally hundreds of suggestions on the Internet on how to fall asleep, and how to get back to sleep when you wake up. Honestly some of the suggestions are downright bizarre, and I will not be attempting those. One suggestion I will be utilizing is the bedtime alarm clock on my iPhone. You tell it when you want to go to bed, and when you to get up, and it will give you notice that it is time to go to bed. It also wakes you up of course.
I guess the most important factor in poor sleep is identifying the root cause. Like I said, I have always struggled with sleep, but this week is extreme. Am I suffering from some sort of anxiety? I don't think so. Am I stressed? Well no more stress than usual, but with my fuzzy thoughts right now, it's hard to do any real analysis. Once I get some rest I can possibly figure out what caused the disruption.
Okay, so here's the plan. I am starting off with a warm bath with lavender oil, candles lit, and old school Sia playing. If I can't get relaxed from that I am doomed. After the bath all electronic devices go off, and dimmer goes off on the nightstand clock. I will take some melatonin, which is a natural hormone that the body produces that helps control your internal clock. I am going to place a small towel under my pillow with a few drops of lavender oil and 1 drop of eucalyptus oil on it. Next, I am going to lower the temperature in my home by a few degrees. Lastly, I am going to crawl into bed, and focus on clearing my thoughts. Sounds like a good plan, right? Wish me luck...
Are you an insomniac? What do you when insomnia strikes?
Indulgences...The Small Pleasures In Life
I confess, I have some self-indulgences, and no regrets about it. Everyone needs the occasional indulgence. I think my indulgences are simple, not too pricey, and oh so pleasing. Here is my list of indulgences. How do you self-indulge? Is it guilt-free? Is it worth it?
Flowers - Fresh flowers are a must have in my home. I buy fresh flowers every week for the kitchen island, the family room, and the master bedroom. Lilies and tulips are my favorite, but I will also mix it up with seasonal flowers. Like right now I have fall bouquets throughout the house with mums, carnations, and lucky me, beautiful yellow and orange lilies.
Cookware - Le Creuset is my cookware of choice. It is pricey but I love to cook and it is so worth it. Le Creuset is quality, heavy, cast iron cookware that I see myself passing on to my daughters who also like to cook. The cookware comes in great colors. I prefer the caribbean blue. I also splurged on some great bakeware from William Sonoma. Awesome products!
Beauty - Now that I am in my early forties, my self-awareness in regards to aging is on high alert. I have always taken pretty good care of my skin, but I have bounced around from products. Well I have finally found the skin care and make-up line that I think works best for me, and that is Estee Lauder. Estee Lauder is also very pricey but worth it to me. I also get regular facials and pedicures but these are so relaxing, almost therapeutic.
Hikes - Hikes or walks, call it what you will, I enjoy them. I like to get up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings and go for about 2 hours if I can. It clears my mind, and get those endorphins going. This one is probably the best indulgence of them all.
My indulgences are simple, yet so rewarding and fulfilling for me. What are your indulgences? How do you treat yourself?
Dream Vacation...What's Your Ideal Vacay?
Vacations are wonderful, if you have the time and money to take one. Vacations are relaxing, de-stressing, a great way for family bonding, and romance. Truthfully, my dream vacation would be out of of this world, literally. Perhaps a stay at a nice spa on Mars. Or to a WestWorld like park, but perhaps set in Renaissance World. But since space travel for the average citizen is not really offered on Orbitz quite yet, I think I will have to settle on some Earthly wonder.
Tanzania, Africa
My first dream vacation locale is in Africa for a safari. I have been to Africa before, but for work, not pleasure. I want to see the beauty up close. I am not about roughing it, so my accommodations would likely consist of staying at a luxury lodge, or worst case, if my companion insisted, it would be "glamping" style. I truly look forward to having this adventure one day.
Neuschwanstein Castle (Germany)
My second dream vacation spot is to the United Kingdom for dreamy stays in castles. I am a romantic, but not hopelessly so. I graduated from Judy Blume books, to Sweet Valley High books. And then on to Johanna Lindsey, and any other romantic novel I could get my hands on in my pre teen, and teen years. Needless to say, I have had very vivid thoughts of a knight and shining armor in my life. There are many castles to stay at in Ireland, England, Scotland, and Wales. I think I would prefer Ireland and Scotland for my vacation. Ireland and Scotland are beautiful, and lush, and so green.
Lastly, my dream vacation would consist of renting a villa on a private island. Complete seclusion and privacy in paradise sounds like a dream. Of course the dream vacation would not be complete without having a staff there for pampering, but you get my point. No other tourists. No kids. No lines. Just me and my love.
I know that everyone's dream vacation is different. I have been to several countries in Europe and Hawaii many times, and I will go back to those places too because they are wonderful as well. But this blog is about the "dream" vacation. The extraordinary, not the ordinary. If you had limitless options what would you choose? Where do you want to go?
I Had My DNA Tested With Two Different Lab Tests To Trace Ancestry, And Here Is What I Discovered...
First off, I am sure you are wondering why I tested with two different DNA companies. The answer is pretty simple. I am a skeptic. I wanted to see if I would get completely different, similar, or the same results from the labs.
So I first tested with Ancestry DNA a few years ago. My girls were getting older, and I was working on a family tree. I was able to trace my husband's side all the way back to the 1700s. His German and Scottish roots were not hard to trace. But for me, a black woman, with African roots, the trail came to a screeching halt.
I was using Ancestry.com for the family trees and research, so their DNA kit seemed like a natural progression for my research. My husband and I did the DNA testing together, sitting in bed laughing as we had to spit "A LOT” into a tube. The test comes with everything you need, including prepaid postage. Just a few weeks later we received an email that our results were available. When it came time to look at my results I became nervous.
Congo, Cameroon, and Senegal Roots
My results were surprising, and not surprising all at the same time. I consider myself a black woman, but my father is of mixed races, so I knew I was not 100 percent black. I wanted to know where in Africa did my ancestors originate, and what else was I. According to Ancestry DNA, I am 68% African with a combination of Cameroon/Congo, Ivory Coast/Ghana making up 52%, Senegal 7%, and some other small percentage possibilities as well.
French, German, and Belgium Roots
The other 32% was comprised mostly of Europe West, which is France, Belgium, and Germany. Also I was found to be 5% Irish, and had a small percent of Scandinavian as well. I was disappointed, and surprised not to find any Native American relation on this test. I had always been told my paternal grandmother was Native American.
I sat on the results for a couple of years, but wondered how accurate they were, so I decided to do a 23 and Me kit. Pretty much the same process with the spitting, and approximately the same wait time for results. When I was notified my results were ready, and I read them, and again I was a little surprised. The results were similar, but not the same.
My 23 and Me results showed me as 66.6% West African, and 28.4% European. Not much different than the last results. But this test also showed 2% Asian and Native American, as well 1.1% of undetermined ancestry. 23 an Me is less country specific, than Ancestry DNA, but seems broader over all. Also 23 and Me identified my European genealogy as British and Irish, instead of French and German.
So there you have some of my genealogy story. A story that is just beginning because I still have so many questions, and I plan on finding out answers. I cannot say which test is more accurate. Perhaps I will never know my true genealogy. It's a journey, but an interesting one.
I know there is a challenge in tracing my genealogy. It's the challenge that many African Americans face. Our ancestors were brought here as slaves, and not many records were not kept. I know who I am. I am just trying to get some answers on where I came from.
What's your DNA story? Think you know it?