Relationships...Beginnings and Endings
Relationships are complicated. At least they seem to be so at times to me. Relationships can be fun and exciting, but also frustrating and painful. Relationships can also be confusing, particularly in the beginning and at the end.
There are many types of relationships. There are friendships, romantic relationships, and the familial kind of relationship. No matter the type of relationship, there is always the potential for complex and confusing feelings. There are no real "how to books" on navigating relationships because each relationship is unique with its own dynamic. For this blog, I want to discuss romantic relationships, and the inevitable beginnings and endings.
Have you ever started dating or seeing someone and questioned the relationship status as things "seemed" to progress? What are we to each other? Are we exclusive? Is he or she my boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, do adults still ask each other to be boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps things progress a little more, and then you wonder if you can leave something at their house. A change of clothes maybe, or a toothbrush.
Yes, some of the questions could be resolved by simply asking, but who wants to put themselves out there like that? Who wants to be vulnerable or perceived as moving too fast? Or forbid, you come off as clingy or desperate. The beginning of a relationship is much like a dance, but everyone dances to a different beat. You have to figure out how to get in sync, and how to stay that way.
The end of a relationship can be just as confusing. Some breaks-ups are very definitive in nature. But other relationships sort of fizzle out, or fade away over time. Unfortunately, in the case of the fade away, one or both involved parties are unsure of the relationship status. Are we still a couple or going through the motions? Sure they both know it is over, but no one wants to call it quits? It still hurts for it to end no matter who says the words.
There are other times when one is unsure about ending a relationship. Their mind knows it's over, but the heart isn't quite there yet. It is hard to let go of something that once seemed so magical, so perfect. But time is ticking. How much of it are you willing to waste on could have beens, and should have beens?
Well, personally I'll take a confusing beginning any day over the sad ending. No matter what, it is destined to end. Be it break-up, death, or divorce, nothing lasts forever. The important thing to remember is to enjoy it while it lasts, and know when to let go.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. - M. Kathleen Casey