5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

The term narcissist seems to be thrown around a lot these days, but that doesn't mean the label doesn't necessarily apply to some people. I am not a psychologist, and perhaps you are not either, but I think it is important to recognize what is unhealthy behavior, and avoid it when possible.

So what exactly is the medical definition of narcissist you might be thinking. I think many of us have our own ideas or definitions of what a narcissist is, but the meaning is actually pretty straight forward.

A narcissist is defined as a person who has an excessive interest or admiration of themselves. For a narcissist, it is about them all of the time.

To have a narcissist in your life can be painful. They are self-centered, selfish, and take far more than they give. Your wants, needs, and feelings are rarely, if ever, taken into consideration. Statistically far more men than women are narcissists, approximately 50 to 75 of those diagnosed are men.

5 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

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Appearance Is Everything

A narcissist is very focused on their looks, their clothes, and even the looks and clothes of those they surround themselves with. They are very jealous and envious individuals. The narcissist wants to always look good, be the center of attention, and to be admired.

They Are Braggarts

A narcissist is a name dropper. If they know or have met a celebrity, they make sure everyone is aware of this fact. They tend to have the most expensive clothes, shoes, cars, and jewelry they can afford, and love to share the cost of everything.

They Cannot Take Criticism

A narcissist can be very insensitive, self-serving, arrogant, and dismissive, but don't try telling them that. If they hurt your feelings, or treat you in an inconsiderate or unkind manner, they are more likely to gaslight you than they are to admit fault.

Its Always About Them

A narcissist always has time to talk about themselves, or celebrate their special occasions. Unfortunately when you need them, they cannot make time for you. If it is not about the narcissist, it is not of interest to them.

They Have A Sense Of Entitlement

In the mind of a narcissist, they are deserving of everything they want, regardless of whether or not they have earned it. They believe that they are special, and that they should always come first. The narcissist has an inflated sense of self, and often takes advantage of people.

The moral of the story is that you are not going to change a narcissist, but it is a diagnosable condition. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is real, and treatable, but I do not recommend breaking your own heart trying to cure with love. The cause of NPD is not completely known, but genetics, environment, and early life experiences are believed to be contributing factors.

Do you have experience with narcissists? Did they get help and get better, or did you give up and move on? Please share your story or experience! 

“Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They're emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God's creations because they don't show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.”  - Shannon L. Alder

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Relationships...Beginnings and Endings

Relationships are complicated. At least they seem to be so at times to me. Relationships can be fun and exciting, but also frustrating and painful. Relationships can also be confusing, particularly in the beginning and at the end.

There are many types of relationships. There are friendships, romantic relationships, and the familial kind of relationship. No matter the type of relationship, there is always the potential for complex and confusing feelings.

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There are no real "how to books" on navigating relationships because each relationship is unique with its own dynamic. For this blog, I want to discuss romantic relationships, and the inevitable beginnings and endings.

Beginnings

Have you ever started dating or seeing someone and questioned the relationship status as things "seemed" to progress? What are we to each other? Are we exclusive? Is he or she my boyfriend or girlfriend?

I mean, do adults still ask each other to be boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps things progress a little more, and then you wonder if you can leave something at their house. A change of clothes maybe, or a toothbrush.

Yes, some of the questions could be resolved by simply asking, but who wants to put themselves out there like that? Who wants to be vulnerable or perceived as moving too fast? Or forbid, you come off as clingy or desperate.

The beginning of a relationship is much like a dance, but everyone dances to a different beat. You have to figure out how to get in sync, and how to stay that way.

Endings

The end of a relationship can be just as confusing. Some breaks-ups are very definitive in nature. But other relationships sort of fizzle out, or fade away over time. Unfortunately, in the case of the fade away, one or both involved parties are unsure of the relationship status.

Are we still a couple or going through the motions? Sure they both know it is over, but no one wants to call it quits? It still hurts for it to end no matter who says the words.

There are other times when one is unsure about ending a relationship. Their mind knows it's over, but the heart isn't quite there yet. It is hard to let go of something that once seemed so magical, so perfect. But time is ticking. How much of it are you willing to waste on could have beens, and should have beens?

Well, personally I'll take a confusing beginning any day over the sad ending. No matter what, it is destined to end. Be it break-up, death, or divorce, nothing lasts forever. The important thing to remember is to enjoy it while it lasts, and know when to let go.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. - M. Kathleen Casey

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