A Lack Of Intimacy...Where Did It Go and Why Do You Miss It?
Intimacy is a must for a romantic relationship, but everyone has their own definition of what intimacy is. When your relationship began your partner made you feel a certain way and you felt that special way about them as well.
Your partner once made you feel wanted, sexy, loved, and safe, but at some point one or both of your feelings and actions towards one another faded away.
Did one of you become too comfortable in your relationship where you stopped caring about the others happiness or was it just laziness and taking your partner for granted? Perhaps a little bit of all of the above?
What Is Intimacy?
Intimacy can be defined as a closeness either by friendship or familiarity. While the basic definition is closeness, I know that sex and physical closeness comes to mind for me with the word intimacy. Here are some examples of intimacy.
Being Physical Close
Long Talks
Comfortable Silence
Touching
Sex
Where Did The Intimacy Go?
At some point in your relationship the intimacy left. There are no more loving words, or sweet kisses, and no hand holding, no comfortable silence, and no sex. Though not always the case, when intimacy leaves so does romantic love, and even friendship.
You may find yourself asking what happened, and why aren’t you and your partner intimate anymore. Was it because you had children and your relationship dynamic changed?
Or did you allow yourselves to focus more on work and other things outside of your relationship and fail to make each other a priority? Or you just grow apart, into the people you were always meant to be?
No matter the reason, course correction is usually possible, if the desire is there. Relationships require maintenance and effort, and when you and your partner stop caring enough to make the effort the relationship is doomed.
Why Do You Miss Intimacy?
Although you may not feel attracted to your partner, or even love them anymore, you still have a desire for intimacy. It is natural to want to feel desired and loved, especially by someone with whom you once felt loved and desired by.
When our relationships lack intimacy we can feel incomplete and like there is something missing from our life. Intimacy in the relationship is how you connect with one another, and whether or not you are having sex, without true intimacy in your relationship you will not feel fulfilled or happy.
What are your thoughts on intimacy or the lack of in relationships? Do you think you could endure a relationship lacking in intimacy? Have you dealt with or are you dealing with this issue in a relationship now? What did you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
