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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

6 Relationship Red Flags

Dating and taking things slow with someone new serves a purpose. Diving right in to a relationship with a man or woman you barely know is not wise to say the least. The whole point of dating is to get to know the person, find out capability, and to flesh out any behaviors or traits that are dealbreakers for you.

In a new relationship, you may become so fascinated by your new boo that you start to miss the red flags that you definitely should be looking for. Knowing what signs to be on the lookout for is important, and will ultimately save you a lot of heartache and grief in the long run.

6 Relationship Red Flags To Avoid

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Red Flag #1 He’s A Taker

Everything revolves around him and what he wants. He is showing signs of being selfish. He is selfish with his time, selfish with money, and he is even selfish in bed. Selfish people will always ask for more than they give, which is not a behavior likely to change in the future.

Plus, selfish men make bad lovers, and who wants to put up with that.

Red Flag #2 He Has Questionable Employment

Does he describe himself as an entrepreneur or always seems to be “in between” jobs? Is his current career or employment, and past employment, sounding a little sketchy to you? If you are not sure what he does for a living, or doubt that he is telling is the truth, then you are getting a big red flag that you need to listen to.

People go through hard times for sure, but someone who is struggling to get their life together is someone who should be focusing on that, not on dating.

Red Flag #3 His Living Situation

You have never been to his home or if his living situation seems questionable, the that is a red flag. Depending on his age, there is nothing wrong with him having roommates, but there is a lot he can be hiding if you never go to his place. Maybe he is still living at home with his parents, or worse he is living with his girlfriend or wife.

He may also be crashing on someone’s couch, which means he has some instability in his life and things he needs to focus on other than dating.

Red Flag #4 He Has Bad Habits

You need to pay attention if they seem to be a heavy partier, drinker, or gambler. In the early stages we get to see the best a romantic partner has to offer. If questionable behaviors are popping up like drinking, gambling, and drug use, you need to ask yourself if this is someone you want to have in your life.

Don’t try to rescue him or make him your project. Your job is to focus on making a good life for yourself. Besides, you can easily get in over your head trying to deal with someone with addiction issues if you are not a professional.

Red Flag #5 He’s Has A Temper

When you first met him he was fun loving, sweet, and kind. That’s partly what drew you to him. But if you start seeing flashes of anger, rudeness, and unkindness, consider it a red flag. None of us are perfect. And all of us can be angered under the right circumstances, but if he lashes at you or others people with cruel words and cruel behavior, he may be hiding an abusive side.

You do not want to end up in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, so take this red flag sign very serious.

Red Flag #6 Something Seem Not Quite Right About Him

He often seems great, then other times something about him seems not quite right. He is handsome, and funny, and so easy to talk to, but alarm bells are sounding internally telling you that he is not what he seems. Your instincts are telling you that he is hiding a part of himself, and wearing a mask. This is a big pretender red flag. What you see is not what you get.

Some red flags are more obvious than others. When it comes to deciding who to date, who to spend time with, and who to love, you should listen to your head and gut, and not ignore the obvious signs that he’s not a keeper.

What are your thoughts on identifying red flags? Do you take your cues from red flags or do you ignore them?Please share your experience with calling it quits because of red flags, or ignoring them and having a relationship work out.

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Betrayal By Your Partner...5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Them A Second Chance

Not everyone deserves a second chance. Some deeds are just unforgivable, and no one should feel obligated to forgive people who do them wrong. This is especially the case in romantic, intimate relationships.

Does choosing not to forgive someone who has hurt or betrayed make you a bad person? I say who cares. Will forgiving the betrayal give you closure or make the betrayal hurt less deep inside? Depends on you.

Whether or not you choose to forgive your mate or cut them from life, it is a completely different decision from giving them a second chance. If you are trying to decide whether or not to give someone a second chance ask yourself these questions.

5 Questions To Ask Before Giving Them A Second Chance

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Are They Owning Their Mistake?

In order to move forward and past a betrayal in a relationship, it is important for the partner at fault to own their actions and take responsibility. If your partner cannot or will not admit to their mistake, they are likely to repeat it.

Failure of a mate to take responsibility for their hurtful behaviors may be indicative of a lack of remorse for their actions, and lack of respect for their partner.

Are They Willing To Change?

If your partner has behaviors that contributed to their betrayal, whether it’s drinking or hanging out with bad influences, they need to be willing to change for second chances to be offered.

If your partner is unwilling to change they will repeat the same behaviors, or similar behaviors, and hurt you again.

Have They Made Promises Before?

Is this most recent betrayal a first? Or have they promised in the past to do better and be better? If your partner has repeatedly hurt and betrayed you in the past, only to say sorry, cry, beg forgiveness, and then do it all over again, they are not deserving of a second, third, and definitely not a fourth chance.

They have shown you they are not trustworthy or deserving of your love and commitment.

Do You Still Trust Them?

Trust is earned over time, but can be lost in a moments bad decision. In your heart of hearts, do you still trust your mate? If your partner has betrayed you, and you want to be able to forgive them and move on, but you no longer trust them, a second chance may not be in order.

A relationship without trust isn’t much of a relationship.

Do You Still Love Them?

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Once a love betrays you, you will never see them the same again. After the betrayal, can you say that you still love them or would you be staying be out of obligation, fear of the unknown, or feeling you have already invested too much time to move on.

If you don’t feel love for them anymore, or even worse you resent or hate them, maybe it is time to move on.

Once a betrayal has been committed in your relationship, it is impossible not to see your partner differently. No one is entitled to be in your life, and you are not required to forgive them, although for your own emotional well being you will need to be able let go and move on.

Some couples are able to forgive and move on. Some will even say they are stronger after the betrayal, to which I say “if you say so”. Giving a betrayer a second chance is a very personal decision. It’s a decision that maybe others may not understand, but it’s your relationship so they don’t need to.

What are you thoughts on second chances and forgiving a betrayal? Please share your story and experience!

“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” - Suzanne Collins

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

A Lack Of Intimacy...Where Did It Go and Why Do You Miss It?

Intimacy is a must for a romantic relationship, but everyone has their own definition of what intimacy is. When your relationship began your partner made you feel a certain way and you felt that special way about them as well.

Your partner once made you feel wanted, sexy, loved, and safe, but at some point one or both of your feelings and actions towards one another faded away.

Did one of you become too comfortable in your relationship where you stopped caring about the others happiness or was it just laziness and taking your partner for granted? Perhaps a little bit of all of the above?

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy can be defined as a closeness either by friendship or familiarity. While the basic definition is closeness, I know that sex and physical closeness comes to mind for me with the word intimacy. Here are some examples of intimacy.

  • Being Physical Close

  • Long Talks

  • Comfortable Silence

  • Touching

  • Sex

Where Did The Intimacy Go?

At some point in your relationship the intimacy left. There are no more loving words, or sweet kisses, and no hand holding, no comfortable silence, and no sex. Though not always the case, when intimacy leaves so does romantic love, and even friendship.

You may find yourself asking what happened, and why aren’t you and your partner intimate anymore. Was it because you had children and your relationship dynamic changed?

Or did you allow yourselves to focus more on work and other things outside of your relationship and fail to make each other a priority? Or you just grow apart, into the people you were always meant to be?

No matter the reason, course correction is usually possible, if the desire is there. Relationships require maintenance and effort, and when you and your partner stop caring enough to make the effort the relationship is doomed.

Why Do You Miss Intimacy?

Although you may not feel attracted to your partner, or even love them anymore, you still have a desire for intimacy. It is natural to want to feel desired and loved, especially by someone with whom you once felt loved and desired by.

When our relationships lack intimacy we can feel incomplete and like there is something missing from our life. Intimacy in the relationship is how you connect with one another, and whether or not you are having sex, without true intimacy in your relationship you will not feel fulfilled or happy.

What are your thoughts on intimacy or the lack of in relationships? Do you think you could endure a relationship lacking in intimacy? Have you dealt with or are you dealing with this issue in a relationship now? What did you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

Breadcrumbing...4 Signs He Is Stringing You Along

You may or may not have heard the term breadcrumbing. Breadcrumbing is more commonly known as stringing along. Stringing another person along is a cruel and selfish act often found in faux relationships.

Faux relationships are just what you think they are. They are fake. Faux relationship are not real, at least to one of the people in the relationship.

The term breadcrumbing means to offer a little bit of attention and affection here and there to keep someone coming back, without giving them what they really want. In the case of relationships, you may want someone’s love, time, or a commitment, and they offer just enough of themselves to make you think there is hope of a future together.

In order to breadcrumb someone, the breadcrumber may hang out with their target occasionally, and give a booty call here or there, making them hope there is more to the faux relationship. All the while they are keeping them as a backup plan.

If you are unsure if someone is breadcrumbing you, this blog will help you recognize the signs

4 Signs Of Breadcrumbing

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Ghosts You A Lot

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When someone is breadcrumbing they tend to drop in and out of your life a lot. They will go long periods of time without seeing you, texting you, and responding to your call or texts.

Won’t Define Relationship

You have no idea if you are lovers, a couple, or just friends. When you ask them how they feel about you, or try to get them to define your relationship, they dodge the question.

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Won’t Let You End It

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You realize that they never have any intentions of committing to you or formalizing your relationship in any way so you pull away. You cut off contact with them, and start seeing other people and moving on. Just when you are fine with letting them go, here they come wooing you once again.

Caring Then Distant

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Once they realize they are losing you, and that your feelings may be changing, they start to give you all the affection and attention you had been craving. They sucker you back in. Once they think they have you back, they suddenly they become distant or disappear again.

Breadcrumbers are selfish, insecure people who will string you along for as long as you allow it. They count on you falling for their manipulations. But remember this, a breadcrumber actually needs you more than you need them. You are a security blanket and a back up plan for them.

They are sad people, but don’t allow them to use you and take advantage of your heart for their own selfish purposes.

What are your thoughts on breadcrumbers? Do you have experience with stringing someone along on being strung along by someone? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

Should You Get Back With Your Ex? 5 Reasons To Go For It and 5 Reasons To Let It Go

Time and distance apart from someone can offer clarity. Unfortunately, time can also distort our memories and amplify reality. The farther we get from situations, the worse they may seem, and the more we minimize the significance of certain events.

It can be tricky when deciding if you should give a previous relationship another go, and get back with an ex. There is nothing wrong with considering another go with a former love.

Maybe the timing wasn’t right for either of you at the time, but things have changed and you have changed.

In making your decision on whether or not to try again with an ex, you have some things to consider.

5 Reasons You Should Get Back With Your Ex

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The Reason You Broke Up Is No Longer An issue

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Whether you broke up because of distance or just being too busy with creating a career or life for yourself, your life is now different. You are now living in the same city, and your education and career are where you want them to be.

You Have Changed

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You have realized that you are a different person, and don’t want the same things you used to. You broke up because he wanted to get married and settle down, and you didn’t want that life. You didn’t think you would ever want that life, but you have grown and changed and want to settle down now, preferably with him.

You Realized You Made A Mistake

You had unreasonable expectation for relationships and thought you could find better. You realized he was a wonderful man, and you blew it with your immaturity. No one is perfect and there is no such as Prince Charming. Recognizing he is a good man who truly loved you is a strong reason to consider getting back with an ex.

You Still Love Him

It’s not only that you still love him, but you are comparing every new guy to him. You cannot get over him, and miss him terribly. If your break up was amicable and in your heart and mind it never felt truly over, then you have a good reason to give it another try.

He Was The One

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Being with him felt a little too perfect, and it scared you. Now that you have had time apart from your ex, and perhaps dated a few others, you come to a realization that he may have been the one. You two had something special, and the chemistry and passion you experienced with him cannot be replicated.

5 Reasons Not To Get back With Your Ex

You Don’t Think You Can Do Better

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Low self-esteem can wreak havoc on our lives, and often makes people settle for relationships that are less than what they deserve because they do not think they can do any better. If your ex was lazy, rude, or abusive, trust me, you can do better.

You Are Lonely

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We all feel lonely from time to time, whether we are in a relationship or not. However, loneliness is not a reason to be in a relationship where you don’t feel valued, respected, or happy. Don’t let fear and moments of weakness be a determining factor in getting back with someone.

Pregnancy Or Children Together

Being with someone just because you have a child together is a bad idea. If you love them and want to be with them then that is one thing, but forcing a relationship because you are pregnant is not a reason to push a relationship that did not work. Learn how to co-parent together, and leave the romance out of it.

You Hate Being Single

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You have never been good at dating and meeting new people. In fact, you hate it. On days when you feel lonely, it may seem easier to just go back to what was familiar and comfortable. On those days remind yourself of all the reasons why it ended with your ex.

You Feel Pressured To Get Back With Them

Whether it’s your ex, or family and friends interfering, you should not let others opinions pressure you into being in a relationship you don’t want. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, and what really happens between to people in a relationship when no one else is around.

You know why you do not want to be with your ex, and really shouldn’t have to explain your reasons to anyone.

You now have five reasons for and against getting back with your ex. Weigh the pros and cons and make the decision that makes the most sense to you and leads you down a path of happiness.

What are you thoughts on getting back with ex? Do you think once a relationship has ended that it can be rekindled and better the second time around? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” -Anthony Robbins

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6 Signs He's Not The One...So Stop Wasting Your Time

You really want this relationship to work. You don’t want to be single again because you think it is hard out there, and you are not going back to that. So you have laser focus on making things work out with the guy you are currently dating or in a relationship with. There is just one problem. He is not the one and you know it deep down.

I am a determined woman too, so I get believing in yourself. You should believe in yourself and that you can accomplish just about anything if you put your mind to it. But I think making a relationship work with the wrong person may be too much even for you.

At some point in a relationship you realize it’s not working, but are not quite sure why that is. The reasons are obvious, usually in hindsight. You will save yourself some time and a lot of heartache by recognizing early on that he is not the one.

6 Signs He’s Not The One

You Are Hoping He Will Change

He is immature, unfocused, or flat out kind of jerky but there is hope right? Well at least you are hopeful that with time and your influence he will get better. You should be looking for a partner, not a project.

He is who he is, and if you cannot accept him for who he is and want him to change, then he is not the one for you.

You Don’t Like A Lot Of Things About Him

You don’t like his friends, his family, his hobbies, his taste in music, and the list could serious go on and on. This is still about making him a project. Do not lower your standards or pretend to be someone you are not for the sake of not being alone.

Being with someone you do not love or even like, will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt before.

You Don’t Have A Lot In Common

You do not like the same things, but hey who does right? He’s cute, all your friends are married, and you’re not getting any younger so let’s make this happen. Sound familiar?

You do not have to be mirror images of each or have the exact same tastes, but common interests and hobbies are very important to long term happiness.

You Cannot Be Yourself With Him

You have to pretend with him, and tolerate behavior you secretly disapprove of. You bite you tongue to avoid rocking the boat. He likes to see you all dolled up, but you prefer little to no make up and jeans and comfy clothes.

If you cannot truly be yourself with your partner then you are with the wrong person and will not be happy in the long run. By pretending, you are not being true to yourself or the relationship.

You Make Excuses For Him

Your friends and family recognize that he is not right you and they are not fans. You constantly find yourself justifying and defending his behavior and attitude.

The problem is that you feel the same way your family and friends do deep down. Otherwise you would tell them to respect your man and your relationship and to stay out of your relationship. But you don’t because you agree with them to some degree.

It Feels Hard

The early stages of a relationship should feel effortless, without the need for masks and pretenses. As the relationship progresses, more work and compromise will be needed to maintain but it shouldn’t feel hard. The relationship should not feel like a struggle to just maintain it.

The truth is that not every relationship is worth fighting for. If you are not feeling fulfilled and happy by your relationship it may be time to stop wasting your time. It may be time to move on no matter how much time you have invested in the relationship. Know when to cut your loses and get back in the market.

Do you agree with the signs that he’s not the one? What are your thoughts on when it’s time to let go? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.” ― Elle Newmark, The Book of Unholy Mischief

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

5 Reasons Why You're Bad At Love

Some people are just bad at love. You love the idea of love, but cannot seem to ever get it right. Is that just who you are? Maybe. Are you destined to be alone or just float from relationship to relationship? Possibly. But it is also possible that you get wrong because you are not ready or make a series of bad choices.

Being bad at love doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. We all grow and change with time. If you want to find lasting love and have healthy relationships, you will need to identify why your other relationships didn’t work. You are bad at love for a reason.

5 Reasons Why You’re Bad At Love

Immature

You are not emotionally mature enough to have a healthy relationship. It takes maturity to respect differences of opinion, and to respect boundaries in a relationship. Relationships can be challenging at times, and being able to communicate calmly, openly, and respectfully is a must.

Had Bad Examples Growing Up

Whether you grew up in a broken home, or with two parents who didn’t love or respect one another, you did not have good examples of healthy relationships. If growing up you didn’t see healthy, loving relationships in your home or in your life, it can be challenging, though not impossible, to know what it takes to have good relationships.

Choose The Wrong People

You choose the wrong people. You choose partners based on looks, status, for how great they are on paper, and for how good you two look together. Instead, you should be choosing partners by your commonality, chemistry, and shared life goals, values, and interests.

You’re Selfish

Relationships are about sharing and compromise. Your priority is you, and you have trouble ever putting someone else first. To be a selfish or a giving person is a conscious choice. Of all the signs, this is the easiest to control and to change.

Your Genetic Makeup

This may surprise you but some people are genetically programmed to be bad at love. Scientists have found that your genes determine how well your body regulates oxytocin, which controls our behaviors, our ability to love, and how attached we become to others.

Your genes also determine your ability to be an emotionally supportive partner, which is a must for a long lasting relationship.

Your past doesn’t dictate your future. Just because you have a history of being bad at love does not mean it will always be that way. Know the signs, take your time, and choose your mate wisely. If you want it, you can have an amazing relationship.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the 5 signs? Are you bad at love? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“I loved myself and since I loved me, I loved him because I realized he was good for me. A type of self worth, a type of narcissistic love.” ― Dominic Riccitello

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

5 Signs He Likes You Based On His Texts

We communicate in so many different ways now. Communication is no longer just about face to face chats or phone calls. Social media and texting has taken the place of our typical way of communicating.

Unlike in-person interactions, where we are able to read facial expressions and body language, texting removes this layer of contact.

I believe that a huge sign that someone is really into you, is that there is a big difference between the person you text with, and the person you talk to in person. I think you will often find that the more contradicting the behaviors are, the greater their feelings are for you.

If you can joke and flirt through text, and completely be your most authentic self, but when you are face to face, your interactions are almost opposite, that means some serious feelings are there. He is afraid to show you how he really feels, but he had been telling by text. You just need to know the signs.

Signs He Likes You Based On Text

He Initiate Contacts

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Guys do not like to text much or spend a lot of time on phones in general. When a guy initiates contact with you out of the blue it is because you are on his mind, and he craves interaction with you.

So, if a guy is making an effort to reach out to you via text, it probably means he likes you.

He Responds Fast

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We all have that friend that takes foorrrever to respond to a text, but when a guy is interested in you and you text him, he will respond right away. He responds quickly because he is excited to hear from you.

Studies have found that when we get a text message from someone we like or have feelings for, we will respond right away and type faster than usual.

He Keeps The Conversation Going

If a guy likes you, he will want to talk, text, and interact with you as much as possible for as long as possible. While texting with him you may feel that the conversation is winding down, but he keeps it going by introducing new topics. He doesn’t want it to end.

He Asks Questions About You

He wants to know everything about you. He asks about your family, your childhood, and wants to know all your likes and dislikes. He is trying to find some commonality between the two of you, and shared interests. The more he knows about you, the easier it will be for him to win you over.

He Gets Flirty

He is very flirty through text. His flirting may consist of sexual innuendos, which makes his intentions a bit more obvious. But his flirting can also be sweet, or cute with funny and silly emojis. Men are not big on emojis.

If a guy is sending emojis with hearts or kissey faces, he is trying to be cute and he wants you to know he’s interested.

Text messaging is one of the typical ways we communicate today. If you are unsure if the guy you are texting with is interested, these signs should help you recognize his feelings. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“In the bottom of my heart lies a secret which I have never told a soul in the world. There is an image of this person who is dearest to me and closer than anything else.” - Melanie Rock

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

What Men Want In A Relationship...According To Men

We all have wants and needs for an ideal relationship. Women tend to have strong opinions about what they want in a relationship, and often set relationship goals. Men are no different. Communication is often a biggie for women in relationships, but men have a slightly different list.

In the beginning, a relationship may be based on attraction, but that will not be enough to sustain a relationship in the long run. There are elements needed in a relationship for both individuals to feel emotionally and mentally satisfied and fulfilled.

In my opinion, men are pretty simple and straight forward creatures. This blog is specifically discussing things men want in a relationship. Here are the top six things men want in a relationship, based on discussions with the guys in my life.

6 Things He Wants In A Relationship

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Respect

Respect is a must for any healthy relationship. Men want to be treated with respect in a relationship. Although what one considers respectful or disrespectful may vary, it goes without saying that yelling, cursing, and talking to your man any way you choose is not respectful.

Affection

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Men want and crave affection just like women do. You can show him affection by rubbing his back, or with a soft kiss on the lips. But affection can also be shown with sweet, loving words. Tell him how much you miss him. Let him know that you appreciate him. Let him know how much he means to you.

Good Sex

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I think it goes without saying that a man wants good sex in a relationship. Not sure what he likes? Make the effort, and find out how to please him. I’m just guessing, but I think there are some universal ways to please a man, but your man may have a particular preference in the bedroom, or kitchen counter, or wherever the mood strikes.

Space

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We all need alone time, and time outside of our relationship. Your man needs his space to do his hobbies, hang with buddies, or just to be alone with his thoughts. The good thing about him needing space is that you get have your time as well.

Good Conversation

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Physical attraction, and great sex are important for a relationship, but good conversation is just as important in the long run. If you can have good conversations, that likely means you are compatible, and share things in common. Your man wanting to talk to you is a good thing.

Support

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He wants to feel supported by you. Your man wants to feel like you have his back, and that you are always team “him”. It’s you and him against the world so to speak. Your words of encouragement, and belief in him mean a lot, because you mean a lot to him.

I think that men and women often want the same things in relationships, but the orders of priority are different. Men want communication in a relationship as well, but that is not necessarily high on their list of needs in a relationship.

What are your thoughts on what men want in a relationship? Do you agree with my list? What would you add or remove from list? Please share experience or opinion!

"What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series." — Dave Berry

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Love VS Crush and Infatuation...Here’s The Difference

I think many people often mistake crushes and infatuation with love. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. A big difference in fact. In the movies, adorable couples infatuated with each other fall in love and live happily ever after, right?

In real life things tend to be a little different.

Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand, and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

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Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

Love is patient, love is understanding, and love is forgiving. Love desires a deep connection, while infatuation craves physical interactions.

Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation

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Feelings Come on Fast

Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.

Short Lived

Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.

Sees Perfection

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With crushes and infatuation, it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income.

The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.

Crazy Or Irrational Behavior

Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.

Based On Attraction

Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head.

The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually, the crush is someone who is out of reach for you.

Signs Of Love

Feelings Last

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With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.

Accepts Them, Flaws And All

When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.

Open and Honest

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Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hope, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours.

Only Eyes For Them

Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to other's beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart.

Their Happiness Is Important

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We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.

Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort

Seeing their face, or hearing their voice can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.

The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies, and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happens in both cases. But with love, there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of each other.

What are your thoughts on crushes and infatuation? Do you believe that infatuation can turn to love? Have you ever thought it was love only to realize it was just a crush? Please share!

"I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know, I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight." Lyrics from The Spoils by Massive Attack

Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels

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