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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance, Divorce Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance, Divorce Charlene Eckstein

5 Biggest Marriage Complaints From Wives

I think at this point, most adults recognize that marriage is challenging at best, and hard work in reality. Love does not conquer all, especially when those in the marriage feel like they are being taken for granted and not getting the best effort from their partner.

As someone who has been married for over 20 years and has listened to many friends, relatives, and coworkers complain about their past and present spouses, it’s no wonder divorce rates are so high.

A happy and fulfilling marriage requires a team effort, and many women feel their spouse is just sitting on the bench and watching them take it for the team, constantly.

Here Are the Biggest Complaints Women Have About Their Marriage

Household Chores

Household chores and who does them can become one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Whether the wife is a stay-at-home mom, or works full time, for many households, the wife does most, if not all the cooking, and cleaning, including picking up behind her spouse. She also does the shopping, bill paying, and pet care, and takes care of the couple’s social calendar.

If she stays at home, it is like her shift never ends, and if she works outside the home, she is doing twice the work of her partner. Can you say seething resentment?

Child Care

The common belief that women should be the primary caretaker of children in a family is still very prevalent, despite the fact that women are often financial contributors to the household and sometimes the breadwinners.

Some women ask “Is it that he can’t or he won’t take on more of the childcare efforts”. Obviously, dads cannot breastfeed but they can bottle feed. Both parents can comfort and discipline their children and help with homework, but many women complain that it all falls on them unless they ask their husbands for “help”. Yes, they have to ask for help from their spouse to take care of their own children. This is a source of frustration.

In-Laws

Whether the in-laws are too involved or not involved at all in the marriage and the family, they can be a source of contention for a couple, especially when there are grandchildren.

When a couple weds, the spouse has to come first, and a husband should stick up for and defend his wife against meddling relatives, and not expect her to tolerate hostile or toxic situations.

Monster-in-laws are not just a myth, they do exist.

Finances

Money has always been and continues to be a big issue in marriages. Who controls the money, who decides how the money is spent, and who pays for what is a big stressor for married couples.

Many households are dual income, but both spouses may not bring in equal pay. Whether all the money goes into one pot or the couples keep separate accounts, agreeing on financial goals and spending habits often creates disagreements.

According to a Department of Labor statistic, married women make 75.5% of what married men make. Unmarried, never-married women make 94.2% of what their unmarried male counterparts make.

Communication

It sucks to be married to a poor communicator. Communication is always the cornerstone of any good relationship, but it doesn’t work miracles. Communication has to be reciprocated and with good intentions. Listening is also part of good communication and so is being open to receiving information.

Many wives complain about having the same discussions, complaints, and arguments over and over again with their spouses. They don’t feel heard and often feel more like mothers and bosses than wives and partners. How do you express the same feelings and frustrations time and again without sounding like a nag or a shrew? Is the hubby just nodding his head but checking out of the conversation? Or is the wife expecting him to read her mind? I suppose both could be true.

In a relationship, if your partner does not consider your complaints and frustrations valid, you may be with the wrong person. Your partner should respect you enough to not want you working all day at a job and coming home and working like a dog taking care of the house, the kids, and him. A person who allows that to happen is selfish and has a lack of respect for you, and maybe a lack of love for you as well.

What are your thoughts on complaints wives have? What are your complaints? How did you address them? Did anything change? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” ― Greg Behrendt

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

Gender Roles In Marriage...Is "Taming" A Woman Still A Thing?

This topic came to mind as I was watching the series Miss Scarlet and The Duke. The series combines both elements of mystery and the classic undertones of a slow-burn romance. Set in a time when women were second-class citizens and men were in charge, women were expected to be passive, unopinionated, and to follow the man’s lead.

Depending on the country you live in or your religious affiliation not much may have changed. However, from my American woman's point of view, everything has changed. But if that’s the case why do so many relationships seem to struggle with gender roles and expectations from the female partner?

I suppose it’s not necessarily so much about taming a woman as it is about domesticating her and reverting a modern woman to a housewife from yesteryears. Let’s discuss.

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Young single women often ask the question of what do men want. What are men looking for in a potential mate? Here’s what men say they are looking for in a potential mate.

  • Attractive

  • Nice and Kind

  • Intelligent

  • Independent

  • Easy to Be With

Notice how good cook, housekeeper, and mommy material are not the priorities stated by men when most are looking for mates. But somewhere along the way expectations and desired attributes seem to change.

Modern relationships start off with two young adults dating and getting married and possibly starting a family. Both were independent individuals prior to the nuptials with their own dreams and goals, yet once rings are on their fingers expectations and relationship roles slowly start to change.

Although this was a “modern” relationship, traditional roles and behaviors slowly rear their ugly heads. At first, it may seem cute cooking dinner every night for your man, and doing the laundry, and all the other domestic stuff but then you say, “Hey, wait a minute, I work too, so why am I doing everything?”

Did you know that women, whether you are a stay-at-home or work outside the home, do most of the cooking, house cleaning, and child care? According to one study by Oxfam and the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women spend two more hours each day on housework and child care.

Whether you work from home, are a stay-at-home mom, or work outside of the home, balance in household and child-rearing responsibilities is important for not only your relationship but your own mental and emotional well-being.

If you are feeling overburdened and unsupported, discuss it with your partner and do not allow resentment and frustrations to grow and fester. Communicate and let your feelings be known.

What are your thoughts on taming women and how we can go from independent women to domesticated homemakers by simply saying “I do”? Please share your thoughts. Do you disagree? What has been your experience? Please share!

“Stop making excuses for them. … They have eyes! They can see that the toilet paper roll needs changing and the wastebasket is full and that there is no more orange juice and we drink orange juice and orange juice is sold in grocery stores. They’ve trained themselves not to notice things because the less they notice the more we’ll just take care of it for them. They say, you should have told me you wanted my help when we had twelve people coming over for dinner! You should have told me not to sit in front of the computer looking at football scores while you’re running around doing everything by yourself. If you needed my help why didn’t you ask for it? I didn’t know you needed help. It’s madness.” ― Jeanne Ray, Calling Invisible Women

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

What Do When You Have Fallen Out Of Love With Your Significant Other

You promised forever but your heart is no longer in it. Perhaps you cannot pinpoint the moment you fell out of love with your significant other, or perhaps you actually can, but either way, the feelings are gone and you are torn about what to do.

It may surprise you, but romantic love in relationships can be cyclical. Yep, it’s true. Over the course of a long-term relationship, you may fall in and out of love with your partner, many times. Or you may fall out of love and are never able to get that loving, romantic feeling back.

You have some choices to make if or when you find yourself in this situation.

What To Do When You Have Fallen Out Of Love

Make An Effort To Reconnect

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Sometimes we fall out of love because we sort of forget about one another. We get so busy with other things in life like work or children that we forget to nurture one of our most important relationships.

If you notice a lack of connection with your partner, it is important to try to get your relationship and your connection to one another back on track. You can reconnect by talking and listening to one another. Or by doing things together that require conversation and interaction.

So no plopping down on the couch in front of the television. Try going out for a nice dinner or just on a walk together, and build up to a trip with just the two of you. Spending time together will either help make you closer or help you make a decision about ending things.

Become Friends

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As I have said many times before, friendship, true friendship is the real foundation of a long-lasting, loving relationship. We trust our friends, we depend on our friends, and we confide in our friends.

It is important to be that safe place for each other. If you were never friends, this may be a good time to explore a friendship with each other and see where that takes you. People in relationships fall in and out of love, but having a friendship with one another can get you through that lull in love.

Self-Reflect

You need to figure out what has changed. Has your partner changed or have you changed? Has your partner committed an unforgivable deal breaker?

Self-reflection is an important tool to use in deciding where do you go from here. Do you no longer want to be married, are you struggling mentally and emotionally, or do you think the relationship has run its course?

You may not like the conclusion you come to after reflecting on how you got to this place, but it knowing the answer will help you move forward, either with your partner or alone.

Relationship Counseling

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Counseling can help, especially if you have identified a cause for your change of heart but still want to work things out. Of course, your partner also has to be a willing participant for couple’s counseling to work, but either way, it is worth a shot.

You may also want to consider individual counseling. Counseling just for you will assist with some much-needed self-reflection and will help you process your feelings and emotions about no longer being in love with your partner.

Relationships are work. Some relationships are hard work. And some relationships are not worth the work. At the end of the day, only you can decide if the relationship is worth fighting for. Is it worth the work and effort you need to put in to make things better or do you just want to be done and move on with your life? It’s a difficult decision but and a necessary one if you are no longer in love.

What are your thoughts on handling a relationship when you have fallen out of love? Do you agree with my recommendations? What would you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“The way I see it, you mostly stop loving a person the same way you stop respecting them. It can happen all at once if something enormous and terrible falls over the two of you. But for the most part, it happens in inches. In a thousand tiny moments of contempt that unravel the image you had of the person you thought you knew.”
Sarah Gailey, The Echo Wife

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

How To Stop Settling In Relationships and Sabotaging Your Own Future Happiness

We all know someone who seems to have settled for someone who does not treat them right or give them the love or respect they deserve. Or maybe in this case you are the someone. Either way, settling is not something most people want to do but what they feel they “have” to do.

Settling is about accepting less than what you want or need in a relationship, with the hopes that things will get better, hopes that he will change, and hopes that you will eventually be happy in your circumstances.

There are two major ways women settle in relationships. Society puts a lot of pressure on women and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find a partner, get married, and have children. Of course, it doesn’t help that that internal clock is ticking with our fertility years closing in on us.

Although many women are choosing to have children in their late thirties and early forties or have children on their own using a sperm donor, these are not necessarily options for the masses.

With a limited pool of good, available men looking for committed relationships some women start to settle for the “next best thing”. Here are the ways women settle.

Ways Women Settle In Relationships

Settling For The First Man Who Gives You Attention

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Maybe you were the shy girl or the awkward girl, or chubby insecure girl who never thought any guy, let alone a cute guy would give you a second glance. Then one day a cute and charming guy comes into your life and gives you the romantic attention you always craved. The problem is he’s really not that great of a catch.

Waiting Around Hoping He Will Wife You

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Many of us go into relationships with hopes of a future life together. That future life may just mean a happy partnership of cohabitation for the rest of your lives. But for many others, that future life includes a house, a dog, and two and a half kids with a ring on the finger.

Allowing Fear To Rule You

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You fear being alone or starting over so you tolerate and accept crap. We all have fears, but allowing fear to control you will ultimately be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of regret.

Very few choose to completely go it alone in this life, but choosing a partner because you fear that no one else better or right for you will come along is a great way to be in a relationship and feel lonely and sad. Being with the wrong person will do that for you.

How To Not Settle In A Relationship

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It all comes down to knowing your worth. There are certain things we all settle for in this life but the man you cohabitate with, the man you marry or the father of your children should not be in that category. You deserve better and so do your future children.

Desperation has a horrible stench and is a real turn-off to men. Take a breath. Is it really the end of the world if you don’t get married until you are forty or if you ever get married at all? Why? Because society has made up arbitrary rules of what a happy, successful life looks like?

Or maybe you find many wonderful men but they just don’t seem to want to marriage or a serious relationship with you. Yes, that sucks, but you cannot force a connection or love where there isn’t one and you cannot make someone truly commit if they are not ready or do not view you as the one.

What are your thoughts on settling? Have you ever settled in a relationship? Would you ever settle again? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

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Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Love and Romance Charlene Eckstein

Here's Where You Will Meet Your Future Husband....Based On Statistics

As much as things seem to change they also seem to stay the same. Not every woman is necessarily looking for a husband but many are looking for a partner or husband to spend their life with. Unfortunately meeting a quality mate is not easy, and many women have no idea where to start their search.

New to the dating scene? Back on the market after a breakup or divorce? Chances are you have been strongly encouraged to try a dating app. The online dating game is strong for many but how many of these relationships turn into happily wedded bliss? Well probably a lot less than you would guess…or maybe you know that a lot of online dating is about playing the game and just running up the scoreboard.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down online dating, but statistics show that the majority of people, both married and in relationships, met their current partners through other, more traditional methods.

Here Are The Most Common Ways People Are Meeting Their Forever Mate

At Work/School

Work and school are the places we spend most of our time as adults. Whether it’s college, the business world, or a small office, spending time together gives love time to grow. It’s no wonder over 30% of people report meeting their current mate or spouse at work or school.

People are going to be people and we cannot help who we fall for sometimes. Yes, it may be asking for trouble to date someone you work with or you may just end up with the man of your dreams and finding your happily ever after.

Through Mutual Friends

Being set up or introduced by friends is a great way to meet your next guy or forever mate. Nearly 20% of people met their current spouse through mutual friends. Your mutual friends know you both and can make great matchmakers.

They can also vouch for each of you and your character. They are like a built-in background check.

Random Run-Ins

Whether it’s the bar, the club, a sporting event, or the grocery store, public places are still popular places for meeting your forever guy. Your church is a great place to meet someone with shared values. And the gym is great for finding a mate who shares your love of fitness.

Approximately 11% of couples met in public places. This just proves you can find love anywhere.

Dating Apps/Online

Yes, people do meet, fall in love, and get married thanks to dating apps. Meeting online and dating apps can lead to long-lasting relationships and love for approximately 8% of people. Are those odd great, no, but just like the lottery, if you don’t play you can’t win. Right?

Family Fix-Up

Your meddling, I mean well-intentioned, mom knows his well-intentioned mom and they cannot wait for you two to meet. Or maybe Mr. Right is your brother’s co-worker or college friend.

Either way, family fix-ups are cute and another great way to meet a mate. And it’s also nice to have someone close to you be able to vouch for the character of this new guy in your life. Approximately 7% of the love birds out there met through a family member.

So just in case you are out there thinking you are never going to get married or that your ex-husband is the last man you will ever have, think again. People are meeting and falling in love every day. If you want love for yourself, don’t give up. It is out there. Just live your best life and it will happen.

What are your thoughts on where to meet a mate? Where did you meet yours, past or present? Please share your experience!

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but think about him. At night I dream of him, all day I wait to see him, and when I do see him my heart turns over and I think I will faint with desire.” - The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

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Traditional Relationships VS Modern Relationships...Which Is Better?

In today’s world there is a struggle between the old and the new. There are those that are strongly committed to traditional ways of living, including relationships and marriage. There are also people who want to make their own rules and rail against the thought of what is traditional.

I recently read an article which said that traditional relationships tend to last longer. Cue my mental eye roll as I prepare to be told how men being the bread winners with the little woman staying home cooking and cleaning is the key to everlasting love. But that is not quite what the article said.

The article said that traditional relationships with clearly defined roles tend to last longer, and I can see how that makes sense. But I also think that a more modern relationship can also have roles within the relationship and be just as long lasting. Notice the word “lasting”, not the word happiness is being used, but we will get to that.

Traditional Relationship

There are many types of traditional relationships and home lives, but the basic traditional relationship involves a male and female with the man typically being the more dominant partner while the woman is more submissive.

In this context, submissive does not mean voiceless, but the woman will follow the man’s lead and play a more supporting role in the relationship.

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The traditional relationship also has more clearly defined roles for the couple. For example the man could be the sole provider or primary breadwinner. The man would also take care of home repairs, trash, and vehicle maintenance.

For the woman, she would take care of the cooking, the cleaning, and be the primary caretaker of any children. Although this type of relationship may seem antiquated and would not work for some, it works for many, and the relationships do tend to last longer.

Modern Relationships

Modern relationships make their own rules. They break free of the stereotypical roles of relationships and marriage, and define their own coupledom. Just like the traditional relationships, there are many types of modern relationships.

A modern relationship may be an unmarried couple living together. Or a married couple who both work and share chores, taking turns as needed. A common modern couple is two working parents, who make decisions together, and share chores.

The roles are less clearly defined and each are expected to work together to get household chores done and the children taken care of equally.

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In a modern relationship, the woman may be the breadwinner, and the man may play a more supporting role. While modern relationships offer equality to both partners, the undefined roles may result in frustrations and resentment as one half of the couple feels like the other is not pulling their weight.

Studies show that modern relationships do not usually last as long as traditional relationships, but why is that? I don’t think it’s about more morals, or good and bad people. But more perhaps that a person who sees themselves as a traditionalist is less likely to divorce than a more modern minded person is, no matter how miserable they are.

Quantity and quality are not remotely the same thing, and a longer marriage does not mean years of happiness. People stay in relationships for many reason, and love isn’t actually at the top of the list.

Also I would think a person with their own income, who is financially independent, is more likely to call it quits on an unhappy relationship than one who is financially dependent.

What are your thoughts on traditional relationships versus modern relationships? I really want to hear your thoughts and opinions on this topic. Please share!

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Betrayal By Your Partner...5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Giving Them A Second Chance

Not everyone deserves a second chance. Some deeds are just unforgivable, and no one should feel obligated to forgive people who do them wrong. This is especially the case in romantic, intimate relationships.

Does choosing not to forgive someone who has hurt or betrayed make you a bad person? I say who cares. Will forgiving the betrayal give you closure or make the betrayal hurt less deep inside? Depends on you.

Whether or not you choose to forgive your mate or cut them from life, it is a completely different decision from giving them a second chance. If you are trying to decide whether or not to give someone a second chance ask yourself these questions.

5 Questions To Ask Before Giving Them A Second Chance

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Are They Owning Their Mistake?

In order to move forward and past a betrayal in a relationship, it is important for the partner at fault to own their actions and take responsibility. If your partner cannot or will not admit to their mistake, they are likely to repeat it.

Failure of a mate to take responsibility for their hurtful behaviors may be indicative of a lack of remorse for their actions, and lack of respect for their partner.

Are They Willing To Change?

If your partner has behaviors that contributed to their betrayal, whether it’s drinking or hanging out with bad influences, they need to be willing to change for second chances to be offered.

If your partner is unwilling to change they will repeat the same behaviors, or similar behaviors, and hurt you again.

Have They Made Promises Before?

Is this most recent betrayal a first? Or have they promised in the past to do better and be better? If your partner has repeatedly hurt and betrayed you in the past, only to say sorry, cry, beg forgiveness, and then do it all over again, they are not deserving of a second, third, and definitely not a fourth chance.

They have shown you they are not trustworthy or deserving of your love and commitment.

Do You Still Trust Them?

Trust is earned over time, but can be lost in a moments bad decision. In your heart of hearts, do you still trust your mate? If your partner has betrayed you, and you want to be able to forgive them and move on, but you no longer trust them, a second chance may not be in order.

A relationship without trust isn’t much of a relationship.

Do You Still Love Them?

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Once a love betrays you, you will never see them the same again. After the betrayal, can you say that you still love them or would you be staying be out of obligation, fear of the unknown, or feeling you have already invested too much time to move on.

If you don’t feel love for them anymore, or even worse you resent or hate them, maybe it is time to move on.

Once a betrayal has been committed in your relationship, it is impossible not to see your partner differently. No one is entitled to be in your life, and you are not required to forgive them, although for your own emotional well being you will need to be able let go and move on.

Some couples are able to forgive and move on. Some will even say they are stronger after the betrayal, to which I say “if you say so”. Giving a betrayer a second chance is a very personal decision. It’s a decision that maybe others may not understand, but it’s your relationship so they don’t need to.

What are you thoughts on second chances and forgiving a betrayal? Please share your story and experience!

“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” - Suzanne Collins

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A Lack Of Intimacy...Where Did It Go and Why Do You Miss It?

Intimacy is a must for a romantic relationship, but everyone has their own definition of what intimacy is. When your relationship began your partner made you feel a certain way and you felt that special way about them as well.

Your partner once made you feel wanted, sexy, loved, and safe, but at some point one or both of your feelings and actions towards one another faded away.

Did one of you become too comfortable in your relationship where you stopped caring about the others happiness or was it just laziness and taking your partner for granted? Perhaps a little bit of all of the above?

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy can be defined as a closeness either by friendship or familiarity. While the basic definition is closeness, I know that sex and physical closeness comes to mind for me with the word intimacy. Here are some examples of intimacy.

  • Being Physical Close

  • Long Talks

  • Comfortable Silence

  • Touching

  • Sex

Where Did The Intimacy Go?

At some point in your relationship the intimacy left. There are no more loving words, or sweet kisses, and no hand holding, no comfortable silence, and no sex. Though not always the case, when intimacy leaves so does romantic love, and even friendship.

You may find yourself asking what happened, and why aren’t you and your partner intimate anymore. Was it because you had children and your relationship dynamic changed?

Or did you allow yourselves to focus more on work and other things outside of your relationship and fail to make each other a priority? Or you just grow apart, into the people you were always meant to be?

No matter the reason, course correction is usually possible, if the desire is there. Relationships require maintenance and effort, and when you and your partner stop caring enough to make the effort the relationship is doomed.

Why Do You Miss Intimacy?

Although you may not feel attracted to your partner, or even love them anymore, you still have a desire for intimacy. It is natural to want to feel desired and loved, especially by someone with whom you once felt loved and desired by.

When our relationships lack intimacy we can feel incomplete and like there is something missing from our life. Intimacy in the relationship is how you connect with one another, and whether or not you are having sex, without true intimacy in your relationship you will not feel fulfilled or happy.

What are your thoughts on intimacy or the lack of in relationships? Do you think you could endure a relationship lacking in intimacy? Have you dealt with or are you dealing with this issue in a relationship now? What did you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” ― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

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6 Signs He’s In Love With Someone Else

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in a long term relationship, feelings for one another may change. Perhaps you started dating and he wasn’t quite over his ex, or you have been together for a while and suspect that he is in love with someone else.

It can suck to even think about the possibility that your man is in love with another, especially if you have been together for some time and saw a future together.

Here’s the thing, his feelings for this other woman will not miraculously go away so you need to address it with him. If you have that feeling that his heart belongs to someone else, here are the signs to look for.

Signs He’s In Love With Someone Else

He Can’t Stop Talking About Her

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When we are in love with someone that person is never far from our mind. When someone is on your mind their name tends to come out of your mouth a lot.

Whether she is the neighbor, a co-worker, or a friend of a friend, if your man is always talking about a particular woman he likely has feelings for her.

Has A Look In His Eyes When He Mentions Her

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When the other woman's name comes up, do you see your man’s eyes change? The mere thought of her will make him giddy and happy, and the feelings will show in his eyes.

You will likely recognize this look as to how he used to look at you when you were first falling in love.

Suddenly Stops Talking About Her

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If your man was mentioning a certain woman all of the time and then suddenly stops saying her name it may be indicative of him having feelings for her. He has just wised up and realized that he was bringing her up too much, and him talking about her all the time was making you suspicious.

So now he never says her name anymore, but she is still there, often in his thoughts.

His Moods Depends On Her

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On days when he has interacted with her he is happy, excited, and oddly more loving with you. But when he doesn’t see or interact with her he is grouchy, moody, and easily annoyed by you.

When he is missing her or feeling resentful that he cannot be with her, his mood and behavior will reflect his thoughts and heart.

He Wants You To Be More Like Her

Suddenly everything you do, say, eat, or wear is up for scrutiny and comparison. You may start to notice him suggesting different clothes, perfume, hair styles, and even new bedroom tricks for you.

If he is in love with another woman, but in a relationship with you, he may try to turn you into a version of her.

Your Gut Is Telling You

Deep inside we know when a guy is crazy in love with us, and we also know when he is falling out of love with us. If your man is in love with someone else, you will feel it. Horrible, I know.

The thought that your man or the guy you are in love with is in love with someone else is painful. But isn’t it better to know and be able to deal with it or move on? Or would you rather not know, and hope that his feelings the for the other woman is just a faze?

Either way, I think your man loving another woman is a hard reality that will eventually need to be faced. You deserve better than playing second fiddle to anyone else.

What are your thoughts on the signs that a man is in love with someone else? Have you eve been in this situation? Please share your thoughts and experience.

“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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Love and Relationships, Lifestyle Charlene Eckstein Love and Relationships, Lifestyle Charlene Eckstein

In-Law Issues...6 Signs It's Time To Set Boundaries With Your In-Laws

When we get married, we are not just marrying the person, we are actually marrying their whole family. With family comes a lot of love, but also family drama. You may get lucky and marry into a wonderful family who are loving and supportive of your union.

Or you may end up with in-laws who butt in, undermine, and sabotage your relationship.

I would like to hope that the in-laws who butt in are well meaning, but regardless of their intentions, they need to respect your relationship, and not crossover into disrespectful intrusiveness.

Whether it’s your parents, your spouses parents, or your respective siblings, in-laws can actually cause a lot of relationships issues that lead to divorce.

6 Signs It’s Time To Set Boundaries With Your In-Laws

They Show Up Unannounced

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You had no plans to see your in-laws, but they just show up at your door whenever they want. You are then expected to drop everything you had planned, whether that was running errands or taking a nap, and host them.

They Criticize Your Parenting

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When it comes to your parenting, your in-laws always have a lot to say. You’re holding the baby wrong. You’re not discipling enough. They even have something to say about whether or not you should not be working, because of course they made all the right parenting decisions.

They Give Unsolicited Relationship Advice

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They want to try to tell you what you are doing wrong as a wife or husband. Perhaps maybe even your spouse confided in their sibling or parent about some relationship issues you are having, or they are making some assumptions about your relationship. Either way, they are butting in where they don’t belong.

Whether your in-laws have been married for 50 years or they are twice divorced, every relationship is different and no one has all the answers.

They Are Hyper Critical Of Your Partner

Some people will never be perfect enough for daddy’s little girl or a mama’s boy, but interfering in-laws can ruin a relationship by poisoning with words and creating doubt. No one is perfect, but having a parent point out everything that is wrong with your spouse is toxic and unhealthy.

They Make Demands On Your Free Time

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You and your spouse like to spend most weekends being cozied up at home or spending time be with friends and being active. However, your parents expect Sunday dinners every week or family game night every Friday. Attendance is required…or else. You love your family, but you are an adult and you get to decide how you spend your free time.

They Emotionally Blackmail

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When you and your partner are not complying with all of your in-laws wishes they engage in guilt trips and emotional blackmail. They may call you ungrateful, selfish, or any other term in order to make you feel like crap to get their way. Don’t fall for this. It’s a manipulation tactic used to control.

Family is important, but family can also be a big pain in the butt when they try control you and your partner, and refuse to respect appropriate boundaries. Everyone needs boundaries, even our loved ones.

It can be a very uncomfortable conversation to have, especially with your parents, to tell someone they need to give you and your partner space and respect your established boundaries.

Your marriage and relationship will have many challenges of its own without outside interference. It is better to bite the bullet, and be honest, than to allow overbearing family members to create more problems for you and your partner.

What are your thoughts on dealing with intrusive in-laws? Have you experienced situation? What did you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Children who are not encouraged to do, to try, to explore, to master, and to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Over-controlled by anxious, fearful parents, these children often become anxious and fearful themselves. This makes it difficult for them to mature. Many never outgrow the need for ongoing parental guidance and control. As a result, their parents continue to invade, manipulate, and frequently dominate their lives.” ― Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

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