Rekindling A Romance...Should You Fan Old Flames?

Life and love have lots of ups and downs and tend to leave many people wanting a do-over. If the Hallmark channel has taught me anything, it is that returning home and high school reunions are for rekindling old love and romance.

If you could go back and do it all over again, would you? Some old flames needed to be put out, but others burned so hotly that years later the embers still smoldered. There are pros and cons to rekindling an old love. As time has passed, you may be remembering more of the good and forgetting a lot of the bad.

If you are considering reigniting an old flame, here are the pros and cons to consider.

Pros Of Reigniting An Old Flame

It’s Familiar

No matter how much time passes, you never forget your first love. Coming back together years later may feel like coming home. The relationship feels familiar and comfortable, and comforting in many ways. You came back together and it was like you were never apart.

It’s Feels Good

Somehow the rekindling of an old flame takes you back in time and makes you feel all giddy and silly again. The excitement and passion are crazy. You have been transported back to being that gushy twenty-something girl who doodled his name over and over again.

You’re Both Different

Whether it has been ten years or twenty-five years, you have both grown and changed. The relationship ended for a reason in the past, but people can change, and perhaps the obstacles faced before are no longer an issue.

Cons Of Reigniting An Old Flame

Both The Same

While some things change, other things also stay the same. Yes, you are both older and hopefully wiser, but you are basically still the same people. Perhaps once you get past the newness of your old relationship, old issues and problems will resurface.

Your Lives Don’t Mesh

You may have reconnected at a reunion or on Facebook, but you live thousands of miles apart and your lives don’t fit together. You both have responsibilities and neither are capable nor willing to just pick up and leave your current life to chase a possibility.

Unrealistic Expectations

While you were once the hot “it” couple, neither of you was perfect, but you may be remembering things differently. You may be disappointed to find that you no longer share the same interests, that they are not as attractive as they used to be, and you may not actually be compatible anymore.

At the end of the day, I think many of us would love a do-over with a lost love. Whether you choose to give it a go should depend on why it ended the first time and if the current man or woman before you seems worthy of a second chance. If they have a history of abuse of any kind I say absolutely do not let them back in your life but otherwise, I recommend going for it. If your heart is open and you are available, what do you really have to lose?

What are your thoughts on rekindling an old flame? Romantic or ripe for disaster? Please share your thoughts and experience!

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. - Pietro Aretino

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Here's Why You Should Never Outgrow Crushes and Falling In Love...10 Health Benefits Of Being In Love

Aging doesn’t have to mean the end of passion, love, and romance. Flirting, crushes, and new love isn’t just for teens. You really can find new love at any age. Aging gives you life experience, and hopefully wisdom, but you are never too old to be crazy in love.

If a death, a divorce, or the end to a long term relationship occurs, you may find yourself single again at just about any age or stage in life. For some, the thought of being single again seems scary and like the end of romantic companionship.

For others, they recognize the opportunity for new relationships and new beginnings.

While the thought of you, your parents or grandparents dating later in life sounds unfathomable, research shows that regardless of age, as human we often want love and companionship.

There are a few differences in what younger adults look for in a relationship, versus what older adults want in a relationship, according this Psychology Today article.

Younger adults want love, communication, trust, attraction, and compatibility. Older adults wants are slightly different with honesty, communication, companionship, respect, and positive attitude being their top five relationship priorities.

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Whether you are single and in your 30’s, or divorced or windowed in your 60’s, the desire for love, sex, romance, and companionship do not go away. Falling in love and being in love makes you happy, and happy people tend have healthier, better qualities of life.

10 Heath Benefits Of Falling In Love and Being In Love

• Less Likely To Suffer From Depression

• Lower Blood Pressure

• Better Stress Management/Less Stress

• Less Substance Abuse

• Sick Less Often

• Faster Recovery From Illness

• Less Pain

• Better Self Care

• Less Anxiety

• Longer Life Span

Who knew that romantic emotions had so many health benefits. The feeling of crushing on someone or falling in love makes you feel like you are floating. It is one of the best feelings, a feeling worth experiencing many times throughout our lives. So I guess when you think about how you feel when in love, you can see why it is hard to feel depressed, stressed, or unrelaxed.

What are your thoughts on love at any age? Do you have a story of unexpected love coming into your life? Do you find that as you age you become more open or more closed off to new relationships and love? Please share your story and experience!

“Love is ageless and colorless. It is a spiritual force that binds two hearts and two souls together as one.” - Ellen J. Barrier, The Price Wr Must Pay Our Father’s Sin

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