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What Is Love? Being, Falling, and Crazy In It
Valentine's Day is just a little more than a week away, so I thought I would write about love today. I am actually a Valentine's Day cynic. I find it lame, and a total consumer manipulation, however, I do love love.
So what exactly is love? And for this blog, we are talking about romantic love. Love is a feeling of strong affection and care for someone or something. It can also be a feeling of devotion or attachment.
How Does Romantic Love Feel?
A deep feeling of affection and care for another person
A strong or constant affection for and dedication to another
A warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
How Does Love Act?
When in love, you will show a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, oneself, or many others, over a sustained duration
Love can take many forms and can be defined differently by different people.
I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I was recently described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together. But in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love.
Why Does Love Make You Crazy?
The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breathe, and live the other person. You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be. Seeing me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently and I think some of the outdated thoughts on love and Valentine’s Day specifically, have changed expectations for many women I know. More women are embracing being single and are pouring more into themselves and their non-romantic relationships. Galentine’s Day is also coming up. Which day will you be celebrating? Or maybe both?
You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you. - Unknown
6 Signs You Are Infatuated
Infatuation can happen to anyone at any age in life. Surprisingly it is not just for teens although often associated with a school crush or favorite movie star or boy band. Infatuations can and may happen periodically throughout your entire life.
I think for many of us when we think of infatuation we think of posters on the walls of our teen bedroom or doodling his or her name over and over again in our notebook. But the reality is you could be infatuated with your college professor or the barista at the corner cafe. Or maybe even infatuated with your boss or the nanny. You could even be in a committed relationship and be infatuated with someone.
When you are infatuated with someone you have strong feelings of love or passion for them that make you unable to think clearly or sensibly about them. The keywords to the infatuation definition are clearly and sensibly because we are blinded by their beauty or charm. If you are wondering if you are infatuated, here are the signs to look for.
6 Signs of Infatuation
They are Always on your Mind
The big thing with infatuation is that you cannot stop thinking about that certain person. They are always on your mind. Thoughts of them can be extremely intrusive, and almost like a drug or an addiction, you need a fix. You need to see them. You need to talk to them. You need some sort of interaction to feel better and get that emotional high they give you.
It’s crazy, but when you are infatuated by someone they are somehow always on your mind.
You Feel Sad or Depressed When You Cannot See or Interact With Them
You feel absolutely miserable when you cannot see or speak to the object of your infatuation. You know it is bad when your moods and emotional well-being are negatively impacted by not seeing them or by not talking to them.
This is such an unhealthy place to find yourself. If your infatuation is causing you emotional distress it is time to pull away and let it go if your crush has no interest in you or is unavailable to you. Pining after someone you cannot have is a miserable state to be in and no way to treat yourself. You deserve better.
You Feel Jealous and Possessive of Them
Chances are, you are not in a romantic relationship with the one you are infatuated with, but you wish you were or hope to be. Until that time, in your mind they are yours and you get very jealous at the thought or sight of them with someone you view as a romantic rival.
You feel almost an ownership of the object of your infatuation. You become hurt, sad, and even infuriated by the mere thought of them giving another man or woman attention.
You Think They Are Perfect
You see the object of your infatuation as perfect. You do not see their flaws. You do not really see them. No one is perfect but when it comes to your infatuation you are only seeing what you want to see. They can do no wrong.
You see the gorgeous guy or girl who is super sweet. But that’s it. Your assessment of their character stopped there. There is more to them than their looks and the fantasy life you created in your mind. You just have to be willing to look open your eyes to reality.
You Would Do Anything For Them
There is practically nothing they could ask you to do that you would say no to. You just want to please them. You just want to make them happy. And you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them.
Unfortunately, this tactic almost never works. Being at someone’s beck and call shows a lack of self-worth and self-respect. If you cannot love and respect yourself how can you expect others to love and respect you? Besides, would a truly great person use you and have you at their beck and call?
You Cannot Bear The Thought of Not Having Them
Your infatuation is obsessive. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend you may try to ruin it. You may even stalk them on social media or even in person. All I can say is “do not do it”. It is not worth it. He or she is not worth it. The behavior is not healthy and if they require all this effort they do not deserve you.
If you have made your feelings known and they did not reciprocate you have to let it go and move on. But you take comfort in knowing that you tried but also knowing that you cannot force a relationship. Do not worry, because you know fishes in the sea and all that.
Infatuation usually fades but can just as easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. Believe me, if you are doing any of the six signs above you are not in love. This is a phase. A passing fancy. An infatuation and it will pass. And once it does, you will likely look back and laugh and maybe even ask yourself “what were you thinking” focusing so much time and energy on that person.
What are your thoughts on being infatuated? When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? Did you get the guy or girl? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Every time he looked at me I felt like I'd touched my tongue to the tip of a battery. In art class I'd watch him lean back and listen and I was nothing but zing and tingle. After a while, the tingle turned to electricity, and when he asked me out my whole body amped to a level where technically I should have been dead. I had nothing in common with a sheddy like him, but a girl doesn't think straight when she's that close to electrocution.” ― Cath Crowley, Graffiti Moon
8 Signs of Sexual Tension and What To Do About It
Sexual tension exists when two people are physically attracted to one another, want to be physical with each other, but hold back for one reason or another.
Sexual tension is most often found in groups of friends or in the workplace. It can develop out of almost nowhere. One day you are buddies and the next your heart races when you look at each other and you start to see them differently.
You may not be sure if your friend is feeling the pull that you are but when sexual tension exists there will be signs.
8 Signs Of Sexual Tension
Eye Contact
When there is sexual tension between two people there is a lot of direct, intense eye contact. Your eyes will show your desire for each other and the fire you feel inside. Your eyes will betray you.
Butterflies In The Stomach
Sexual tension between you and another will make you feel giddy and give you butterflies in the stomach. You will feel like a teenager again, in the best, most exciting way possible.
Awkward Interactions
Some relationships have sexual tension from the start, while others have it develop over time. When sexual tension exists you can become unsure of how to act in front of each other. You want to hide your desire and play it cool so things start to feel super awkward.
You Get Physically Close
The sexual tension exists because you two are physically attracted to each other and deep down want to sleep together. For one reason or another you two are not moving in that direction yet so you choose the next best thing and that is getting physically close to one another.
Casual Touches
You want to touch each other any time you can. Whether it’s just a touch of the fingers when passing something to the other or a casual hand on the back or arm as a greeting or a goodbye. You cannot do what you really want to them so you will settle for any physical interaction you can get.
You Flirt With Innuendos
When there is sexual tension between two people it will often reflect in their communications with each other. When you are around each other you cannot stop thinking about how much you want them which starts to leak out in conversation, emails, and texts with comments and jokes that seem to be of a more sexual nature.
Others Notice
When there is sexual tension between two people it is usually felt by those around them as well. It is palpable. Others will notice that there is something between you two, and some may even comment. It’s hard to hide an intense attraction for someone for an extended period of time when around others
You Just Know It
You know that you are attracted to them, and that you desire them, and you can feel their desire and attraction to you as well. They are sending you vibes and your gut is telling you everything you need to know.
What To Do About Your Sexual Tension
When dealing with sexual tension between you and another, you really only have three options. The first option is to ignore the sexual tension. You may choose to ignore because you actually like the current status quo. You are not ready to make a decision to move things to the next level, but you are enjoying the sexual tension and feelings it gives you.
The sexual tension and attraction may fizzle out over time on its own, which may mean it was never meant to be.
The second option is to discuss it and get it all out in the open. The conversation may be awkward, but if someone doesn’t make a move and ask the other out and address the sexual “elephant” in the room, then you will remain in a never ending cycle of flirting and giddiness.
Life is too short to remain in limbo, so eventually something should happen one way or another.
The final and best option is consummation. The build up of the sexual tension can mean a powerful sexual encounter, once it actually happens. Of course this will likely involve option two to some degree, but it doesn’t require some long drawn out discussion.
If the moment is right, and opportunity strikes, no words may be necessary. Your eyes and body language will do the talking, and the rest will hopefully be mind blowing.
What are your thoughts on dealing with sexual tension? Do you address it, ignore it, or hope things unfold naturally somehow? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Our eyes met and our souls caught on fire.” ― Nikki Rowe
Love VS Crush and Infatuation...Here’s The Difference
I think many people often mistake crushes and infatuation with love. It’s easy to see how the two are mistaken for love because the feelings are so intense, but there is a difference. A big difference in fact. In the movies, adorable couples infatuated with each other fall in love and live happily ever after, right?
In real life things tend to be a little different.
Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand, and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.
Unlike crushes and states of infatuation, love truly sees and accepts their object of affection. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
Love is patient, love is understanding, and love is forgiving. Love desires a deep connection, while infatuation craves physical interactions.
Signs Of Crushes and Infatuation
Featured Video
Feelings Come on Fast
Infatuation hits with an out of this world intensity. You saw them and you knew you had to have them. Love at first sight, so to speak. The feelings didn't grow and develop over time, which is what happens with love, they were almost instantaneous.
Short Lived
Crushes come and go pretty quickly, usually in a matter of months. Love stays, whether the relationship works or not, the feelings are always there to some degree.
Sees Perfection
With crushes and infatuation, it is more about the idea of the person, than the person themselves. Maybe you think you would look great together as a couple, or one or both of you have a certain status in the community or a high income.
The mind creates and envisions the perfect life together, and the happily ever after with Prince Charming.
Crazy Or Irrational Behavior
Crushes can lead to stalking, intense jealously, and obsessive behavior. Sometimes the intense feelings of crushes can also cause risky behavior, and irrational thinking.
Based On Attraction
Crushes are often based strictly on physical attributes since you really don't know the "real" person, and there is nothing else to go on except what you created in your head.
The infatuation begins because you find them beautiful or hot, and strongly desire the person. Usually, the crush is someone who is out of reach for you.
Signs Of Love
Feelings Last
With love, feelings may not last forever, but they do last a while, whether you stay in a relationship or not. Love does not go away after a couple of months, or because you realize they are flawed or look a hot mess in the morning.
Accepts Them, Flaws And All
When we truly love someone, we see their flaws, and we accept them. Maybe he's a little short, or she's a little chubby, but if you are in love you don't care.
Open and Honest
Love is willing to go deep. Love is open and honest. Love wants to share their hope, dreams, and fears, and hear about yours.
Only Eyes For Them
Love only has eyes for you. If the eyes wander, then you are not in love. Love isn't blind to other's beauty, but love's eyes follow their heart.
Their Happiness Is Important
We are willing to sacrifice for those we love and put their wants and needs before our own. Love is willing to be inconvenienced, bored, and patient for the one who means the most.
Their Presence/Or Voice Brings You Comfort
Seeing their face, or hearing their voice can turn your whole day around, and instantly improve your mood. That’s a true telltale of being in love.
The initial feelings of crush and falling in love are very similar. The rush of euphoria happens in both cases. The butterflies, and the feelings of pure joy at the sight of them happens in both cases. But with love, there are thoughts of a future together, and realistic expectations of each other.
What are your thoughts on crushes and infatuation? Do you believe that infatuation can turn to love? Have you ever thought it was love only to realize it was just a crush? Please share!
"I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know, I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight." Lyrics from The Spoils by Massive Attack
Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels
Love...Falling, Being, Crazy In It and Why It Feels So Amazing
Love...the intense feeling of deep affection. I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I have been described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together.
You feel like you have found your other half, your soulmate so to speak, and all is right with the world.
As wonderful as it is to be in a relationship, in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love. The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breath, live the other person.
You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be.
“Seeing “me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently, and that's okay. For many it is all about longevity, and truly knowing your partner. While for others, it is all about the excitement of falling in love, and being with someone new.
Some people love the beginning of a relationship, and the middle of the part not so much, which leads to the end of the relationship. Boredom sets in, and for them it is time to find another love.
What are your thoughts on love? Do you love hard or play hard to get? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you.” - Unknown
5 Signs You Are Obsessed... Who Or What Consumes Your Thoughts?
Obsessions are such odd, powerful feelings. An obsession is a persistent, dominating idea, desire, thought, or feeling. We all obsess at some point or another. We obsess about our bodies, and our lovers, or potential lovers, and food, or money, and even cars. Honestly, the list could go on and on.
My Obsessions
I am currently obsessing about shoes, Jamba Juice, health and fitness, and scents. Truth be told I really don't think I have a shoe obsession, but those close to me would disagree. Fortunately California Closets designed my master closet around my shoe collection, so there is always room for a little more of my so called obsession.
Now my Jamba Juice obsession is pretty guilt free. I could drink a Berry Upbeet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and at only 400 calories for a large, I would still have a few calories to spare.
As I approach my mid 40's I have really started to take my health and fitness very serious. I have a bad back and knees, but regardless, I make sure to hit my target active calorie burn everyday. Whether it's with walking, weight training, or elliptical, I make the effort. I am not getting any younger, and a lot of health issues run in my family, so I had to step up my game.
My last obsession is scents. Scents in many forms. I am obsessed with lovely perfumes, clean smelling candles, and beautiful flowers. I have several vases in my home currently filled with Freesia, which is such a fragrant, pretty flower. I cannot get enough of wonderful smells. Thank goodness my olfactory system is working well.
Many of us obsess about things, our passions, and sometimes people. When we have an obsession with people, or to be more specific, that certain person, we can develop obsessive love. When we initially start to fall for someone we tend to be obsessed.
All thoughts and feelings revolve around that particular person. After time that obsession fades to a more realistic, sustainable love. But sometimes the obsession persists, and those feelings become unhealthy.
5 Signs Of Obsessive Love
Obsessive Thoughts About A Person
Extreme Jealous Over Their Interaction With Others
Constant Need For Reassurance
Possessive Thoughts and Behaviors
Monitoring Their Actions
Obsessive love is real and considered a disorder called obsessive love disorder (OLD). Obsessive love disorder is a condition where a person becomes obsessed with someone they think they are in love with. Obsessive love disorder can negatively impact your life, and ruin relationships.
Do not fear that being madly in love with someone means you have a disorder. OLD is rare, and usually goes hand in hand with other diagnosable mental disorders.
Now tell me what are you obsessed with? Who are you obsessed with? I am sure that when I ask those questions, a face, or image comes to mind immediately. Please share your experience!
“Extinguish my eyes, I'll go on seeing you.
Seal my ears, I'll go on hearing you.
And without feet I can make my way to you,
without a mouth I can swear your name.
Break off my arms, I'll take hold of you
with my heart as with a hand.
Stop my heart, and my brain will start to beat.
And if you consume my brain with fire,
I'll feel you burn in every drop of my blood.” - Rainer Marie Rilke
For more information on obsessive love disorder please visit www.Medicinenet.com.
What Is Love? Being, Falling, and Crazy In It
Valentine's Day is just a little more than a week away, so I thought I would write about love today. I am actually a Valentine's Day cynic. I find it lame, and a total consumer manipulation, however, I do love love.
So what exactly is love? And for this blog, we are talking about romantic love. Love is a feeling of strong affection and care for someone or something. It can also be a feeling of devotion or attachment.
How Does Romantic Love Feel?
A deep feeling of affection and care for another person
A strong or constant affection for and dedication to another
A warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
How Does Love Act?
When in love, you will show a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, oneself, or many others, over a sustained duration
Love can take many forms and can be defined differently by different people.
I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I was recently described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together. But in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love.
Why Does Love Make You Crazy?
The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breathe, and live the other person. You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be. Seeing me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently and I think some of the outdated thoughts on love and Valentine’s Day specifically, have changed expectations for many women I know. More women are embracing being single and are pouring more into themselves and their non-romantic relationships. Galentine’s Day is also coming up. Which day will you be celebrating? Or maybe both?
You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you. - Unknown