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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
Season Finale Depression...It's A Real Thing
If you are like me you love your shows. Life can be stressful at times, but for a couple of hours a week you get a complete escape. Or even better, and worse, you get 10 solid hours of escapism by binge watching something on Netflix.
It's amazing, right? You plan your whole day around it. And when you can't watch it on time, you avoid any possible spoilers like the plague. Once watched you can hardly contain yourself, wanting to discuss theories and possible plot lines with your love, your bestie, and your coworkers.
Sometimes, even with random strangers who happens to mention the show in passing. You are so invested, and so excited, but also starting to get this other feeling as things progress. A twinge of finale depression is coming on.
Supposedly all good things must come to an end. Sadly, this seems to be the case with our favorite shows. As each episode passes, and more questions are answered, the end creeps closer and closer.
You are excited for what is to come in the finale, you truly are, but also sad because you know the season will soon be over. A void will be left. Yes, you will try to fill it, but it just will not the same.
Here are some shows that have created voids for me...
Sex and the City (permanent void)
Scandal (last season sadness)
The Walking Dead (getting closer)
Stranger Things (almost here!)
WestWorld (2018 ugh)
Game of Throne (I can't even, the wound is too fresh)
The worst thing about our favorite shows is the wait. It used to be a few months in between seasons. Now it can be a year or more for a new season. Even worse in the case of GoT, as it will be the final season, so the return will be long awaited and bittersweet. What show leaves you with a void? Maybe nothing new. Bring on the nostalgia.
The Love Gaze...Does It Really Mean Anything?
They say the eyes are the windows to our souls. I am not so sure about the soul part, but the eyes say more than we realize at times. Our eyes can betray us, and tell our true feelings when we are trying to hide them.
The eyes can show excitement, and anger. They even communicate fear, confusion, and dishonesty. The eyes also reveal love and lust. Have you ever locked eyes with a stranger? Maybe on a train or at a bar? You might have felt an instant attraction. You liked what you saw and wanted to keep staring. You felt lust.
Now, what about locking eyes with someone you are familiar with? Someone you have been casually dating, a friend, or even a crush. You lock eyes from across the room and something happens.
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There is an intensity in those moments that is unexplainable. You only break the gaze because you realize that too much has been revealed, and silently communicated. Butterflies are in the stomach and panic almost sets in as you are flooded with emotions. Was it love, was it lust, or maybe both?
The love gaze is the staring into each other's eyes by two people who are falling or in love. A study was conducted to determine the gaze of someone in love versus someone in lust. Those in lust tended to look at the body, while those in love looked at the face and in the eyes. The two feelings do not have to be mutually exclusive. I want the man who loves me to also lust for me, but I would not expect lust to necessarily turn into love.
The truth is you may never truly know what the other person is thinking when you lock eyes. But chances are, if they were caught in a gaze with you, they were thinking the same thing as you. You both know whether or not it was a love or lust gaze, because you felt it, everywhere.
“When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew it. “- Pablo Neruda
All Things September...
September kicks off my favorite time of year, and it is a little more than a week away. I love fall. The weather is so crisp, and fresh. It feels almost perfect. Then add to the near perfection with the beauty as leaves start to turn, and kids go back to school, heavenly. For this blog, I decided to offer some suggestions on things to do in September. It's almost here!
First off is gardening of course. There is always some planting to be done, whether you start sowing your seeds inside or outside. The best herbs to plant in September are parsley, cilantro, chives, thyme, mint, and lavender. These herbs will grow well in cooler weather.
The best vegetables to plant are broccoli, lettuce, and spinach. Also plant some garlic and you will have some yummy additions to your meals late fall, and when winter comes.
Next up is fall foliage. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful that it nearly takes your breath away? That is fall foliage for me. It is quite spectacular, and if you head to New England in late September you just might find yourself breathless. Maine is where I want to get to this year.
Did you know that September is wine month in California? Well it is and to me that says time for a trip to Napa. Napa is one of my favorite places, and September is a wonderful time of year to visit. Or maybe stay close to home and head up to Temecula for the wine festival to enjoy some great food and LOTS of wine tasting.
Last but not least is Oktoberfest. Believe it or not, Oktoberfest actually starts at the end of September, and lasts for sixteen glorious days. A trip to Germany may be in order for me this year, starting off in Munich. Oktoberfest is all about beer, and I am a girl who loves beer. I have not been to the "real" Oktoberfest, so this is really about checking things off the bucket list.
So now you have my suggestions for enjoying September, and none of them included Labor Day or barbecue. Cheers!
A Return To Bon Temps...Is It My Blue Mood Elixir?
I am overly tired, thanks to a horrible night's sleep, and overly stressed, thanks to life. I am on my own most of the weekend so I guess I am feeling a little blue today. I would not say I am quite depressed, but definitely in a funk. But if I am nothing else, I am a fixer.
It is recommended to keep yourself busy when you are feeling down or stressed out. Staying busy and active is a great distraction. I have worked out twice today, and I know my body will make me regret it tomorrow after the punishment I gave it today.
My mood has improved somewhat, but I still need a distraction. Writing is always a distraction, but it also requires thinking. I so do not want to think right now. Reading is out of the question because my eyes feel too tired. So binge watching tv is on the menu today. I just needed to decide what to watch.
I think I found my answer on Amazon Video. All seven seasons of True Blood are on Amazon Video, the first six are free for Prime members. I read all of the books and watched the series on HBO with dedication. Based on the popular book series by Charlaine Harris, a return to Sookie Stackhouse and Bon Temps may be just what I need. Lots of sex, violence, some laughs (courtesy Lafayette), and absolute craziness sums up True Blood.
After watching the first few episodes I remembered why I loved this show so much. I also remembered how much sex there was too. Holy crap! I guess it's not called "good times'' for nothing. I am looking forward to reacquainting myself with the vampires, werewolves, shape shifters, and even fairies. May be silly to some, but a nice escape when reality bites.
You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens. - Mandy Hale
Sometimes The Grass Is Greener...Here's Why You Shouldn't Fear Change
We have all heard the saying that the grass isn't always greener. The key word is "always", which means that sometimes it actually is greener. Sometimes making a change in your life, even though scary, is the better choice.
I have always really disliked this saying because I feel that to a large degree it is rooted in fear. A fear of change. Yes, we should appreciate what we have. And yes, big life changes should be well thought out. One should not just quit a job they hate, when they need it to pay the bills, without having a plan in place.
Maybe don't leave a relationship for another without truly being sure of what you are giving up, and having a damn good idea of what you are getting. Of course you don't just pack up and move to a new, exciting city, if the cost of living is high, and you have very little or no money.
Did you know there is something called the "grass is greener syndrome"? The syndrome is basically when someone is incapable of experiencing happiness and satisfaction in life because they believe there is always something better out there.
Wherever they are at, there is some place better to be. Whoever they are with, whether romantic or friendship, is never enough, because there is always someone better.
The grass is greener syndrome is an unhealthy mental state and not at all what I am supporting.
Career changes, relationship changes, and location changes are the big choices that people are are told to stop and think about. Sometimes we are talked out of making decisions, and big life changes when presented with all of the facts. Sound advice at times, but ultimately it is your life, and it is my life.
We all walk our own path, and at the end of the day we reap the benefits, and have to face the consequences for our decisions as well. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes they do not.
It takes a brave person to give up the financial stability of a good job to follow their dreams, but you only live once. It takes a special person to follow their heart, and risk all for love. There are no guarantees, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
A once in a lifetime love could be at stake. It takes an adventurous spirit to pick up and move to a new place with new people. But a life with new places and new people can be very exciting and rewarding.
Moral of the story is to live your life. Make the best decisions you can with the information you have, but never make them out of fear. What joy is there in that? Do you live by the grass isn't greener motto? Do you fear change? Please share!
Doubts and fears are the heaviest burdens - James Lendall Basford
The Benefits Of Foam Rollers For Chronic Back Pain
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Have you ever heard the expression "it hurts so good"? Well that is my masochistic relationship with my foam roller. It is both hard and soft at the same time, and meant to soothe and help alleviate pain.
I was first introduced to the foam roller years ago in physical therapy and hated it. It hurt and I literally dreaded that part of my therapy. Slowly I began to realize how much it helped my achy muscles, and the ligaments in my knees and thighs. But most of all it helped my lower back pain, in the most excruciating way.
Foam rollers were designed for self massage, also known as the self-myofascial release. It helps break up scar tissue, adhesions, and speed up the healing after workouts. It also soothes sore areas, known as trigger points, and is basically a cost effect massage.
I use the foam roller on my calves, illiotibial (IT) band, and butt. You can roll out pre or post workout, but I prefer to do it every night about a half hour before bedtime. It hurts, and yet relaxes me, much like a deep tissue massage. The rollers come in many sizes and colors, so you can find just what you are looking for based on your needs.
Have I sold you yet on the foam roller? Hopefully you are already using one. Trust me, once you push through the pain and discomfort, you will be rewarded with better flexibility, less muscle soreness, and fewer injuries from exercise.
Dream Vacation...What's Your Ideal Vacay?
Vacations are wonderful, if you have the time and money to take one. Vacations are relaxing, de-stressing, a great way for family bonding, and romance. Truthfully, my dream vacation would be out of of this world, literally. Perhaps a stay at a nice spa on Mars. Or to a WestWorld like park, but perhaps set in Renaissance World. But since space travel for the average citizen is not really offered on Orbitz quite yet, I think I will have to settle on some Earthly wonder.
My first dream vacation locale is in Africa for a safari. I have been to Africa before, but for work not pleasure. I want to see the beauty up close. I am not about roughing it, so my accommodations would consist of staying at a luxury lodge, or worst case, if my companion insisted, it would be "glamping" style. I truly look forward to this adventure.
My second dream vacation spot is to the United Kingdom for dreamy stays in castles. I am a romantic, but not hopelessly so. I graduated from Judy Blume books, to Sweet Valley High books, and then on to Johanna Lindsey, and any other romantic novel I could get my hands on in my pre teen and teen years. Needless to say, I have had very vivid thoughts of a knight and shining armor in my life. There are many castles to stay at in Ireland, England, Scotland, and Wales. I think I would prefer Ireland and Scotland for my vacation.
Lastly, my dream vacation would consist of renting a villa on a private island. Complete seclusion and privacy in paradise sounds like a dream. Of course the dream vacation would not be complete without having a staff there for pampering, but you get my point. No other tourists. No kids. No lines. Just me and my love.
I know that everyone's dream vacation is different. I have been to several countries in Europe and Hawaii many times, and I will go back to those places too because they are wonderful as well. But this blog is about the "dream" vacation. The extraordinary, not the ordinary. If you had limitless options what would you choose? Where do you want to go?
Intuition and Gut Feelings....Do You Trust Yours?
I think there is a common misconception about the term intuition. Intuition is a not about being psychic, or any other phenomenon that makes people skeptical. Your intuition is the same as your gut feeling, and many believe in trusting their gut.
That gut feeling is alarm bells going off in your brain telling you something, or someone is off, or things are just not right.
Intuition is defined as an ability to understand, or know something without needing to think about it, or use reason to discover. It is a feeling. It bridges the gap between the conscious and unconscious parts of the mind.
When I was in the military I worked with sexual assault victims. During my training, the local police department's Sexual Assault Victim's unit visited. One of the things they pointed out was the importance of trusting your intuition.
Often times, victims sensed they were in danger. Their gut told them it was a bad idea to be alone with a particular person, or that they were being followed. They didn't listen to those alarms going off in their head, and the outcomes were often not good. The lesson was to listen to your gut. It may save your life.
Over the years, I have learned to trust my intuition over anything that I am being told or seeing. If someone wants to deceive, they will put on an act, and they will lie. A smiling face means nothing in particular to me. There is a reason for the common saying, "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear".
Now don't get me wrong, this is not about seeing and believing the worst in others. I don't have alarms bells going off all the time. But it is about trusting yourself over what someone else is doing or saying, especially when you are sensing a hidden agenda.
The takeaways are to trust your intuition, and know yourself. What is the worse that could happen? If you think someone is in love with you, then they probably are. If you feel someone dislikes you, you are likely right.
The advice to people in relationships is always, if you think he or she is cheating then they probably are or wants to. Lastly, if you feel you are in danger then get out of there.
So I ask you this, do you trust your gut or foolishly ignore it? Have you ever had someone try to convince you your gut was wrong by gaslighting you? I have....
You know the truth, by the way it feels. - Unknown
What's Your Excuse? We All Have One...
I was talking to a friend recently about exercise, and the same old excuse reared its ugly head. Not enough time. He was actually the second friend of mine last month to make that statement. I get it. I am not judging because this is my go to "reason" when I am unable to find the time to work out. But we all know the reality of not doing something is usually more about convenience and motivation, and less to do with time.
Convenience and motivation apply to so many things we put off doing. If only I had the time to do the laundry, to pull those weeds, or to finish those home projects. The time is there, but the motivation is not. We all find the time to hang with friends, or go to the movies, or just veg out in front of the telly.
I have found that as I have gotten older I have become more disciplined, and better able to manage my time, but I can always find an excuse to not do the hard or the dreaded. Take for example the book I am writing. The book is basically finished except for one chapter. A chapter that is two-thirds into the book that I skipped over. I know what the chapter entails but I cannot write this chapter. I have literally procrastinated writing this chapter for about four months. I start at least once a week, but I can't do it.
It's an odd sort of writer's block. Complete mental block. I can usually write at the drop of a hat. Give me a topic and I can go. But for some reason I cannot move forward. Maybe because the chapter is supposed to be about love, and pain, and longing. Everything that I am currently experiencing. But I cannot do it. My heart and mind are clouded with so much emotion right now.
So that's my excuse. I cannot break free mentally, so my characters cannot have their happy ending. What's your excuse for not doing? We all have one, right? What to do? No seriously, words of wisdom are welcomed.
Relationships...Beginnings and Endings
Relationships are complicated. At least they seem to be so at times to me. Relationships can be fun and exciting, but also frustrating and painful. Relationships can also be confusing, particularly in the beginning and at the end.
There are many types of relationships. There are friendships, romantic relationships, and the familial kind of relationship. No matter the type of relationship, there is always the potential for complex and confusing feelings.
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There are no real "how to books" on navigating relationships because each relationship is unique with its own dynamic. For this blog, I want to discuss romantic relationships, and the inevitable beginnings and endings.
Beginnings
Have you ever started dating or seeing someone and questioned the relationship status as things "seemed" to progress? What are we to each other? Are we exclusive? Is he or she my boyfriend or girlfriend?
I mean, do adults still ask each other to be boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps things progress a little more, and then you wonder if you can leave something at their house. A change of clothes maybe, or a toothbrush.
Yes, some of the questions could be resolved by simply asking, but who wants to put themselves out there like that? Who wants to be vulnerable or perceived as moving too fast? Or forbid, you come off as clingy or desperate.
The beginning of a relationship is much like a dance, but everyone dances to a different beat. You have to figure out how to get in sync, and how to stay that way.
Endings
The end of a relationship can be just as confusing. Some breaks-ups are very definitive in nature. But other relationships sort of fizzle out, or fade away over time. Unfortunately, in the case of the fade away, one or both involved parties are unsure of the relationship status.
Are we still a couple or going through the motions? Sure they both know it is over, but no one wants to call it quits? It still hurts for it to end no matter who says the words.
There are other times when one is unsure about ending a relationship. Their mind knows it's over, but the heart isn't quite there yet. It is hard to let go of something that once seemed so magical, so perfect. But time is ticking. How much of it are you willing to waste on could have beens, and should have beens?
Well, personally I'll take a confusing beginning any day over the sad ending. No matter what, it is destined to end. Be it break-up, death, or divorce, nothing lasts forever. The important thing to remember is to enjoy it while it lasts, and know when to let go.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. - M. Kathleen Casey