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I love storytelling and always want my readers to have options. You can find my blogs on my YouTube channel and listen to them on the go.
What Is Love? Being, Falling, and Crazy In It
Valentine's Day is just a little more than a week away, so I thought I would write about love today. I am actually a Valentine's Day cynic. I find it lame, and a total consumer manipulation, however, I do love love.
So what exactly is love? And for this blog, we are talking about romantic love. Love is a feeling of strong affection and care for someone or something. It can also be a feeling of devotion or attachment.
How Does Romantic Love Feel?
A deep feeling of affection and care for another person
A strong or constant affection for and dedication to another
A warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
How Does Love Act?
When in love, you will show a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, oneself, or many others, over a sustained duration
Love can take many forms and can be defined differently by different people.
I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I was recently described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together. But in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love.
Why Does Love Make You Crazy?
The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breathe, and live the other person. You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be. Seeing me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently and I think some of the outdated thoughts on love and Valentine’s Day specifically, have changed expectations for many women I know. More women are embracing being single and are pouring more into themselves and their non-romantic relationships. Galentine’s Day is also coming up. Which day will you be celebrating? Or maybe both?
You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you. - Unknown
Soulmates...Meant To Be Or Nonsense For Romantics?
Soulmates...meant to be?
Once upon a time, when I was very young, I believed in the happily ever after. But then at some point reality hit me. Life is full of ups and downs, and no guarantees. Life will throw many curve balls, and one of them is love.
Love seems like such a simple concept in so many ways. You don't really have to think about it, you just feel it. You know it in your gut, and in your heart and mind that you love someone. But sometimes love evolves, or even fades away. We are talking romantic love.
Are you in love with someone right now? You may at some point, if you have not already, ask yourself if they are the "one". You may wonder if they are your soulmate. Soulmate has many definitions. The true meaning of soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives.
Death does not separate true love, and soulmates will always find their way back to one another.
The modern definition of soulmate is more simplistic. Soulmates are two people who are drawn to each other, and connect on every level. There is an intensity and passion between soulmates that is difficult, if not impossible, to replicate.
Do I believe in soulmates? Simple answer is no. Having a soulmate in theory sounds wonderful, and oh so romantic. But what if my soulmate gets hit by a bus? Am I doomed to a life of loneliness or lackluster relationships because the "one" is no longer here? That's depressing, not romantic.
But if you are going to find the closest thing to a "soulmate", or a person you can be very happy with, look to the list below for signs that you have met the one.
Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate
It Feels Right
You Just Know It
You Can Be Vulnerable And Be Yourself With Each Other
You Can Sense When They Are Hurting Or Are In Pain
You Admire And Challenge Each Other
You Have A Deep Connection And Friendship
There Is Amazing Chemistry Between You
Time Together Is Fulfilling
You Feel Like You Have Known One Another Forever
Being In Their Presence Has A Calming Or Euphoric Effect On You
Honestly, my theory on love and relationships is that you can find happiness and love with many people, albeit not all at the same time. There are those where the relationship is good, but not great. There are better relationships, and there are the best relationships.
The best relationship is when you truly click and get one another. The relationship in which you look at one another, and wonder where have they been all of your life. The laughs are good and plentiful, the sex is great, and hell even the disagreements are stimulating, and kind of hot.
So nope, I do not subscribe to the soulmate concept, but I think life should be the best it can be. No settling out of fear, loneliness, or desperation. There are over 5 billion people in our beautiful world. He or she is out there, and maybe searching for you as well. Or possibly even right in front of you.
Do you believe in soulmates? Have you found the one? Still searching? Or settled too soon? If you have found the "one" then enjoy and appreciate. If not, keep looking because the right one is out there. Please share your soulmate experience!
“A soul mate is not found. A soul mate is recognized.” – Vironika Tugaleva
Great Chemistry...Can You Build A Relationship Around An Off The Charts Connection?
Chemistry, and I am not referring to the study of matter, means different things to different people. I have chemistry with a lot people. Most people probably wouldn't be in my life for any extended period of time if I didn't have some type of chemistry with them.
Whether it is bonding over a shared love of books and music, or connecting with other parents and co-workers, chemistry comes in many forms.
Chemistry is a beautiful thing. In its simplest form it is just a connection with another person. You just click with someone. It isn't necessarily romantic. But great romances start with amazing chemistry, and that is what this blog is about. Recognizing romantic chemistry is easy. Knowing what to do with it can be the challenge.
Featured Video
The 5 Signs Of Romantic Chemistry...
Commonality
Chemistry is bonding and connecting, usually over experiences and interests. You share similar personalities or backgrounds. You laugh at the same things, and are on the same intellectual level.
Attraction
You feel a strong physical pull towards each other. You desire this person, and when they are around everyone else fades.
Can't Look Away
It's as if they are water and your eyes have been wandering the desert for years. You could stare at them all day, and when your eyes meet it's HOT. Staring into each other's eyes happens frequently when you encounter each other.
Can't Stay Away
You want to be near this person as much as possible. Spending time with them is the best feeling imaginable. Being away from them is torment.
Never Enough Time
You could be with, talk to, and text with them all day and night, and it still doesn’t feel like enough time. Time flies when you are together, and yet somehow being together makes time come to a complete standstill.
So the question is, if you have great romantic chemistry will you have a great relationship? I think the answer is, most likely. I believe the foundation of a solid romantic relationship is a good friendship.
They say opposites attract, but opposites may also struggle once the newness of the relationship wears off. That is why commonality plays a major role in any long lasting relationship. If a couple shares mutual interests and enjoy talking and "listening" to one another, it will bode well for a solid future together.
Be sure not to confuse infatuation with chemistry. Chemistry is truly chemical. Chemistry is two bodies saying we belong together. While infatuation is about feeling passion and fascination for someone. Infatuation by definition is temporary, and either turns to love or fades.
Either way, if the infatuation was based on looks or just an admiration of someone so unique or different from oneself, but no real compatibility existed, what are the odds of it lasting?
Is finding that person you have amazing chemistry with the secret to a long, happy relationship? Do you think chemistry matters? Do you think it is important to have similar interests to stay connected? What are your thoughts?
You can't force chemistry to exist where it doesn't in the same way you can't deny it when it does. - Unknown
Photo by Josh Willink from Pexels
Devious Diets...How Do You Get Your Best Body?
It's that time of year again, or so they say. It is beach body time. Ugh! I will not likely be donning a bikini this summer, but I am working on getting my best body in years. I am not getting any younger, and it is important to make my health and fitness a priority.
When it comes to losing weight, looking good, and getting rid of those dimples, and I am not talking those on your face, it really comes down to diet. I notice an immediate change in my skin, and quite honestly, my thighs when I eat clean.
When I say eat clean I mean no sugar, no alcohol, no fried foods, and no processed foods. It sounds difficult, and it is at first, but it is definitely worth the results.
Eating clean for 30 days quarterly has worked for me. I have slowly lost weight, and continue to do so without ever completely giving up foods that I like, but also not reverting back to old bad habits either.
This will not work for everyone, but there are so many option out there, you are bound to find the right fit for you. A warning though, discipline and some self-restraint will be required.
Here are some popular diets....I do not personally endorse any but I eat closest to Paleo:
Atkins
Paleo
Whole 30
South Beach
Zone
Mediterranean
Jenny Craig
Weight Watchers
Raw Food
Also in order to aid in weight loss and tone up that body, exercise is a must. I have knee and back injuries, so running is no longer enjoyable. However, I do not let that stop me from moving. I walk and hike everyday as far as I can with the allotted time in between family responsibilities, weather permitting.
Otherwise it's to the gym hitting the elliptical or cycling, which are are back and knee friendly, but also burn tons of calories. I also do the kettle bell, free weights, and plank exercises.
I seemed to have found what works for me. I am not focusing on a number on the scale, at least not completely, but I am focused on how I look and feel. I hope you can find that "something" that works for you as well.
I am fortunate in that I live in a very active community. There are plenty of trails and bike lanes. There is not a time I go out when there is not a group of cyclists, joggers, or others walkers out and about as well. It is a motivator. Are you motivated? I hope so!
Which Is Worse...This Or That?
This or that is always a fun game to play, especially when all of the choices are a win-win. But what if no matter what you choose the results suck? If you had to pick between two things, which is the lessor of two awful things? That's this game. Enjoy!
Food (These are all real foods people around the world eat)
Ghost Peppers or Denatonium (the most bitter substance known to humans)
Chitterlings or Cow Tongue
Liver or Kidneys
Bull Testicles or Pig Feet
Haggis or Balut
Spoiled Milk or Rotten Eggs
Sheep's Head or Bat Paste
Brain Sandwich (Pork) or Livermush
The Body
Death Valley
Vomiting or Diarrhea
Flu or Chicken Pox
Bee Sting or Fire Ant Bite
Chlamydia or Gonorrhea
Migraine or Back Pain
Instant Death or Knowledge of Exact Date/Time of Death
Face Punch or Gut Punch
Tooth Extraction or Hemorrhoids
Kidney Stones or Childbirth (not c-section)
The World
Death Valley or Antarctica
Zombie Apocalypse or Plague
Drought or Blizzard
Rat or Cockroach Infestation
Trapped in Elevator or Keys Locked in Car
Earthquake or Tornado
Missing Flight or Tire Blowout
Dictatorship or Autocracy
Stepping in Gum or Being Pooped On By a Bird
Yes, this is ridiculously immature, silly, and fun. Relax, enjoy, and pretend for five minutes you have not a worry in the world.
Easy Homemade Granola...Gluten Free
Homemade Granola
Granola is often thought of as a breakfast food, but it is really great anytime. I eat it as a snack, and sometimes for dessert as a parfait. I toss it in my bag for an on the go treat, and I eat it for breakfast. Granola is so yummy, and sweet, but can also be a lot of calories if you don't watch it.
I started making my own granola to control the calories, the sugar content, and to be able to make it gluten free. Making granola is super easy. I usually give my kids my recipe, and just let them make it.
It really is as simple as measuring ingredients into a bowl, and mixing with your hands. Set a timer for 20 minutes, and you will have delicious granola.
Gluten Free Homemade Granola Recipe
Ingredients:
3 cups Gluten Free Oats
1 ½ cup Shredded Coconut, Unsweetened
1 cup Dried Cranberries, No sugar Added
1 cup Sliced Almonds
½ cup Coconut Oil
½ cup Honey
1 tsp. Vanilla Extract, GF
Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl mix oats, coconut, cranberries, and sliced almonds. In a medium bowl mix oil, honey, and vanilla. Pour honey mixture into the oat mixture and mix ingredients with hands, making sure to completely coat oats. Pour mixture onto a baking sheet with raised edges and evenly spread mixture. Place in center rack and bake for 20 minutes, turning baking sheet after 10 minutes for even cooking.
Allow granola to cool completely. Granola will become crispy and crunchy as it cools.
Enjoy your granola as a snack, over some greek yogurt, or with milk as breakfast cereal. Store in ziplock or closed container for 7-10 days.
Dreams and Their Meaning...Interpreting Our Common Dreams
One might think from that title that I actually have some incite into our dreams, and their meaning right? Truth be told I've got nada. Just pure conjecture, best guesses, and of course my "all knowing" opinions. But in reality is that not all anyone has?
I have done some research, and most of the literature I found on dreams goes a little something like psychologist believe that "blank" dream "MAY" mean blah blah blah.
So let's talk dreams. I experience some of the common dreams. Dreams about falling, having sex, spouse cheating, the loss of one of my children, and oddly snakes. I have never had the eerily common public nudity dream. That actually sounds quite terrifying.
Now let's breakdown each type of dream and discuss.
5 Common Dreams and Their Meaning
The Falling Dream
The falling dream is supposed to represent a fear of failure. I have been having this dream all of my life. I am very competitive, and set high standards for myself and others. But like many people, I have a fear of failure.
I don't let my fear stop me from pushing forward, but it does press on me and cause that internal upheaval and anxiety. The falling dream appears during these times.
The Sex Dream
This type of dream seems obvious and in some cases it is. Sometimes someone can have such a pull on you mentally, physically, and emotionally that you cannot get them out of your mind, day or night. The desire is intense but making it a reality is an obstacle, if not impossible. Maybe a celebrity crush, or your best friend's guy or girl.
Reality may not be better than fiction. The sex dream may also be about a desire for love and affection. Or perhaps you were watching or reading something of a sexual nature before falling asleep, and your mind took over.
The Spouse Cheating Dream
I have been married for over 16 years, and during that time I have never gotten the feeling that my husband was being unfaithful, or that his heart was somewhere else. I have always felt immense love for me coming from him. However, throughout the years there have been times where I have felt like we were not connecting, or there was a distance growing.
The spouse cheating dream can be about a concern of cheating, or a much needed wake of call that things are not right, and to fix them before they get worse. It can also be about your own feelings of insecurity, whether it's aging or gaining a few pounds.
The Loss of Children Dream
I have been very fortunate. I have a loving husband and two beautiful girls. I am happy. But there is a part of me waiting for the bad, the unexpected to happen. I work to keep this worry in check but it manifests itself in my dreams.
Dreaming of one of my kids missing or dying. It's a heartbreaking dream that sends me to one of my girl's room to make sure they are still there, and are still alive. Sometimes I even crawl into bed with them.
This dream is supposed to be about being able to protect our children in a crazy world. But also about our own insecurities as parents, and our children growing up and leaving us.
The Snake Dream
There's an old wives tale that says dreaming of a snake means you are pregnant. Umm, not true. In my dreams I am running from a snake. To be clear I have no fear of snakes. My uncle and cousins had pet snakes when I was growing up. The snakes in my dreams are huge and always chasing me down a hallway.
A snake in a dream is supposed to represent feeling threatened. Maybe you have a person in your life who is ruthless or can't be trusted. It can even be a situation that is difficult or threatening and needs to be addressed.
Dreams are like tiny picture shows in our heads that end abruptly when we wake, and leave our memories almost instantaneously. For the rare dream that affects you and stays with you, it may be worth your while to explore its meaning a little bit.
There is a lot of information out there for interpreting your dreams, but I believe many times we know the why behind our dreams. What do you dream about? Careful what you watch or read before going to bed. Sweet dreams...
Please share your most interesting dream and your interpretation of it.
In Case You Missed It...Great Shows Now On Netflix and Amazon Prime Video
As you may, or may not know, I have a small Netflix addiction. But as a busy working mom, I do not get to indulge as much as I would like to. I always try to make time for the important people in my life, while keeping up with my favorite hobbies of writing and reading.
During that time there has been, and continues to be, many televisions shows that look interesting to me, and have great reviews.
Unfortunately it is hard to find the time to watch everything I fancy, and the DVR will only hold so much. But once I catch up on my viewing, I like to share my intel. Maybe you have seen some of these shows already, want to watch for them first time, or want to watch them again.
Either way Downton Abbey, Archer, Sherlock Holmes, and Penny Dreadful are entertaining, addicting, and binge worthy.
Here's What You Are Missing
Downton Abbey
"A sprawling, lavish Edwardian mansion nestled in the Yorkshire landscape -- needs an heir. Dame Maggy Smith stars as Violet, the stubborn Dowager Countess of Grantham matriarch of Downton. Hugh Bonneville stars as her son, the stoic, unflappable Lord Crawley. Elizabeth McGovern is his far-sighted American wife, Cora. From Academy Award-winner Julian Fellowes."
Although this show may seem stuffy and boring, I highly recommend giving it a chance. The setting is beautiful, and the characters as complicated. You will find yourself rooting for some to "finally" find happiness. All six seasons are currently available on Amazon Prime video, which is free for prime members.
Archer
Archer
"Suave, sophisticated spy Archer may have the coolest gadgets, but he still has issues when it comes to dealing with his boss, who is also his mother."
With 8 seasons of crazy, often vulgar antics, Archer is sure to make you laugh and find your inner immature self. Currently seasons 1-7 are available on Netflix.
Sherlock Holmes
"In this updated take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's beloved mystery tales, the eccentric sleuth prowls the streets of modern London in search of clues."
Much like its namesake, this show is smart, witty, and surprising at times. Each episode is well written and movie length. All four seasons are currently available on Netflix.
Penny Dreadful
"The classic tales of Dracula, Frankenstein, Dorian Gray and more are woven together in this horror series set on the dark streets of Victorian London."
A Penny Dreadful is a term for 19th century cheap horror and crime novels, usually costing pennies. The classic tales found in this spooky show are anything but cheap. The stories are woven quite beautiful together, and are both heartbreaking and horrifying at times. All three seasons are currently available on Netflix.
With the exception of Archer, all of the above shows can be pretty heavy at times. I recommend watching a few episodes of Archer in between the other shows for levity. You will need it.
Gluten Free Cooking...My Crispy Chicken Tenders Recipe
I started cooking without gluten several years ago after being diagnosed with a gluten allergy. Cutting gluten out of my diet was not easy, but it was worth it to feel better. Giving up bread was the obvious diet exclusion, but once I started the research, I realized that gluten was in some many things. I came to the understanding that if I wanted to eat well, and not spend a ton of money on gluten free goods, I was going to have to make it myself.
I love to cook, and found it challenging to create tasty recipes for my family that did not contain gluten. How would I bake cookies and cupcakes, or make pizza dough without gluten? Fortunately my gluten allergy was nothing new to the world, and I was able to find many substitutes for the real thing.
Almond flour, rice flour, and tapioca flour are just a few common substitutes for wheat flour. I began to experiment with cooking, and baking with these flours, but the struggle was real. Nothing seemed to turn out right. The taste was off, or grainy, and unfortunately the texture was not the best. The reality was, this was my new reality. None of the substitutes would be exactly like a wheat flour, or produce identical results. But I kept experimenting by combining the flours, as well as adding xanthum gum to the baking recipes.
Then one day I discovered Cup4Cup gluten free flour. This flour claimed to produce wheat flour like results, with no additions needed to the flour. It was a little pricey, so I was hesitant, but I finally took the plunge and purchased a 3 lb. bag. I was pleasantly surprised at the results when using this flour. I also discovered several other brands, that produced similar results as well.
One of the first recipes I tried with Cup4Cup was fried chicken tenders. I rarely fry food, but when I do, I want it to be good. I prepared my recipe the same as I would with wheat flour, and the results were amazing. The tenders were golden, crispy, and better than you would get at a restaurant. Here's my simple but extra yummy recipe.
Gluten Free Crispy Chicken Tenders Recipe
1 1/2 lb chicken tenders
1 c. Cup4cup gluten free flour
1/2 c. cornstarch
2 eggs
1/3 c. Milk
oil of choice for frying
3 tbsp. seasoning salt
2 tbsp. garlic powder
1 tbsp paprika
2 tsp. black pepper
Gluten Free Flour Recipe (Optional)
1/2 c. Rice flour
1/2 c. Tapioca flour
1 tbsp Xanthum Gum
Directions
Preheat your oil in a french oven, or heavy skillet to 375 degrees. In a large bowl add chicken tenders, 1 tbsp garlic powder, 1 tbsp seasoning salt, and 1 tsp black pepper and mix until chicken is completed coated.
In a medium bowl add flour, cornstarch, 1 tbsp garlic powder, 1 tsp black pepper, 1 1/2 tbsp seasoning salt, 1 tbsp paprika, and mix with fork. In a second medium bowl beat eggs, milk, and your remaining seasoning salt together.
Prepare your dredging station by placing bowl with chicken on the end, middle will go your egg mixture, and last is your flour mixture. Take each tender and completely coat in egg mixture, and then dredge in flour, and shake off excess flour.
Carefully place tenders in hot oil, making sure not to overcrowd skillet. Cook tenders for 5-7 minutes, depending on size of tenders, turning them over after about 3 minutes. Remove and drain on plate with paper towels.
I recommend saving yourself time by using gluten free flours like Cup4Cup, or are measure for measure of the gluten free flours. But just in case you still want to mix your flours, I included a gluten free flour recipe for the chicken tenders. Enjoy!
Best Foreign Netflix Series...
There is so much good television right now, it’s almost overwhelming. What to watch? When to watch it? Is this binge worthy? With so much to choose from it is hard to settle on any particular show.
It helps to know what you like, or have someone make recommendations. I am a lover of a good mystery, and the darker the better. I gravitate towards these types of shows, therefore more pop up as recommended to me on Netflix.
I cannot say that I am a huge foreign film buff, but my fondness has grown over the years ever since I saw the German "Run Lola Run" over a decade ago. Once you get used to the subtitles, you can really enjoy something fresh and new. But you have to decide what to watch, and of course you have to pay extra attention with subtitles.
While I cannot make sure you pay attention, I can recommend foreign Netflix series for your viewing pleasure. By the way, only two of these requires reading subtitles.
Here Are My Top 5 Recommended Foreign Netflix Series...
Dark
"A missing child sets four families on a frantic hunt for answers as they unearth a mind-bending mystery that spans three generations." This German series is dubbed in english, and tackles murder, death, and the concept of time. Is time constantly moving in only one direction? This series may make you question that theory. A second season is in the works for this thought provoking show.
Hotel Beau Sejour
"Caught in an afterlife limbo, teenage Kato investigates her own mysterious death and unravels a web of secrets in her seemingly tranquil village." In this Flemish language Belgian series Kato is a ghost, who can be seen only by a handful of people. But why is she only seen by those particular individuals? That is the big question. Once she figures out why they can see her, she can solve her own murder. Season 2 should be streaming in March 2018.
Broadchurch
"After a young boy is murdered in the small seaside town of Broadchurch, local detectives Ellie Miller and Alec Hardy are assigned the mysterious case." Broadchurch is a beautifully shot BBC series. Solving a crime in a small town means that the victim likely knew their killer. This one is a big twist, and a heartbreaker. Broadchurch currently has a three seasons available on Netflix.
Alias Grace
Alias Grace
"In 19th-century Canada, a psychiatrist weighs whether a murderess should be pardoned due to insanity. Based on Margaret Atwood's award-winning novel." Margaret Atwood's book was based on the true crime story of 17 year old Irish immigrant Grace Marks. Grace is abused, mistreated, and eventually convicted of double murder. Grace's complicity in the murders may forever remain a mystery, but her story is none the less fascinating.
La Mante
"Decades after her capture, a serial killer offers to help solve a string of copycat murders -- but only if her son, now a cop, will work by her side." This French series revolves around the highly intelligent, and perceptive serial killer nicknamed The Mantis, and her desire to have any interaction with her cop son Damien.
After all her crimes she seems to have only one regret, and that was leaving her young son all those years ago to go to prison.
All of the above shows are excellent. And yes, I am sure you notice a trend in my viewing choices. They are all basically murder mysteries, but also mild studies in human behavior, which I am fascinated by. Not for the faint of heart, but highly entertaining. So pick one to start watching. I do no think you will be disappointed.