5 Signs You Are Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

We all know these people, perhaps maybe you are one of them. Amazing people, who make bad relationship choice, after bad relationship choice. The friends and family members, who are either head over heels in love, or miserable and depressed because they had another relationship failure, and cannot bear the thought of being alone.

If you want love, and a long lasting relationship, but cannot seem to ever make it happen, you may be looking for long in the wrong places.

5 Signs You’re Looking For love In All The Wrong Places

Always Getting Ghosted

You thought things were going great, and that you were really going somewhere with this new relationship, until he stopped taking your calls, or returning your text.

Lots Of One Night Stands

You seem to never lack male companionship, and by male companionship, I mean you have lots of sleepovers. Which is fine if that’s all you’re interested in. But one night stands or random hookups are not likely to lead to long-lasting relationships.

Lots Of Failed Relationships

You have had a lot of relationships, but they never seem to work out. You enter the relationship with high hopes, always believing this is the one. But something always seems off, things go wrong, and you are usually left feeling disappointed.

Lots Of Drama In Relationships

When a relationship there seems to be non stop drama. The drama may be due to you picking the wrong one, trying to force what isn’t meant to be, or just sabotaging the relationship. Either way, the relationships always seems to be emotional rollercoasters.

Feel incomplete When Single

You hate being single. Instead of using your singledom to have fun with friends, recharge, and figure out what you really want from a partner and in a relationship, you spend the whole time desperately trying to find another partner and relationship.

As the saying goes, “if you are unhappy single, you will be unhappy in a relationship…eventually”. Happiness comes from within, and a partner or relationship should add to it, not be the sole reason for it.

What are your thoughts on looking for love? Do agree with my signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” - Unknown

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Best Quotes About Breaking Up

Breaking up is hard to do, usually. I say usually because sometimes breaking up is the best thing ever. If the relationship was no longer fulfilling, or joyful, and ending may indeed be needed.

The great thing about endings is that they allow for new beginnings.

For this blog, I picked 15 great quotes about breaking up. Some are sweet, some are sad, but they all share the common thread of ending. A break up can make you feel sad, relieved, and sometimes hopeful.

Best Quotes About Breaking Up

“Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare, after having the best dream. “- Unknown

“The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you.” - Unknown

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” — Mark Twain

“So lets ignore each other, try to pretend the other person doesn’t exist, but deep down, we both know it wasn’t supposed to end like this.” - Unknown

“The last time I felt alive – I was looking into your eyes. Breathing your air….. Touching your skin…. Saying goodbye…. The last time I felt alive…. I was dying.” – Ranata Suzuki

“I learned that people leave. Even if they have promised a thousand times that they won’t.” - Unknown

“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.” – Paulo Coelho

“It hurts when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.” - Unknown

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” - Unknown

“How do you know when its over? Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you.” – Gunnar Ardelius

“The hottest love has the coldest end.” – Socrates

“If someone does not care about losing you, then move on. There are many people out there that would die if it meant losing you.” - Unknown

“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles. They’re reasons to break up.” – Patti Callahan Henry

“Sometimes you have to accept that just because you can have room for someone in your heart, it does not always mean that you should have room for them in your life.”

“There comes a time when you have to accept …You chose wrong, he wasn’t the one, and you deserve better.” - Charlene Eckstein

We all can relate to heartbreak and break ups. Relationships end, one way or another. Just remember, while it may hurt for some time, the pain will not last forever. Just like memories, pain fades with time.

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What Men Want In A Relationship...According To Men

We all have wants and needs for an ideal relationship. Women tend to have strong opinions about what they want in a relationship, and often set relationship goals. Men are no different. Communication is often a biggie for women in relationships, but men have a slightly different list.

In the beginning, a relationship may be based on attraction, but that will not be enough to sustain a relationship in the long run. There are elements needed in a relationship for both individuals to feel emotionally and mentally satisfied and fulfilled.

In my opinion, men are pretty simple and straight forward creatures. This blog is specifically discussing things men want in a relationship. Here are the top six things men want in a relationship, based on discussions with the guys in my life.

6 Things He Wants In A Relationship

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Respect

Respect is a must for any healthy relationship. Men want to be treated with respect in a relationship. Although what one considers respectful or disrespectful may vary, it goes without saying that yelling, cursing, and talking to your man any way you choose is not respectful.

Affection

Men want and crave affection just like women do. You can show him affection by rubbing his back, or with a soft kiss on the lips. But affection can also be shown with sweet, loving words. Tell him how much you miss him. Let him know that you appreciate him. Let him know how much he means to you.

Good Sex

I think it goes without saying that a man wants good sex in a relationship. Not sure what he likes? Make the effort, and find out how to please him. I’m just guessing, but I think there are some universal ways to please a man, but your man may have a particular preference in the bedroom, or kitchen counter, or wherever the mood strikes.

Space

We all need alone time, and time outside of our relationship. Your man needs his space to do his hobbies, hang with buddies, or just to be alone with his thoughts. The good thing about him needing space is that you get have your time as well.

Good Conversation

Physical attraction, and great sex are important for a relationship, but good conversation is just as important in the long run. If you can have good conversations, that likely means you are compatible, and share things in common. Your man wanting to talk to you is a good thing.

Support

He wants to feel supported by you. Your man wants to feel like you have his back, and that you are always team “him”. It’s you and him against the world so to speak. Your words of encouragement, and belief in him mean a lot, because you mean a lot to him.

I think that men and women often want the same things in relationships, but the orders of priority are different. Men want communication in a relationship as well, but that is not necessarily high on their list of needs in a relationship.

What are your thoughts on what men want in a relationship? Do you agree with my list? What would you add or remove from list? Please share experience or opinion!

"What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series." — Dave Berry

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5 Signs He Trusts You

Trust is important to all of us. Whether it is family and friends, or a business partner or a lover, being able to trust the people in our lives matters. There are variations and different levels of trust. We trust different people in our lives, with different matters in our lives.

Men and women are different creatures. Women tend to allow themselves to be more emotionally vulnerable and open with their feelings.

While men tend to be more guarded, and sometimes closed off when it comes to conveying their feelings, emotions, fears, and failures.

If you want to know if a man in your life trusts you, there are some simple signs to look for. Chances are, if he is doing several of the five signs I have listed below, he really trusts you.

5 Signs He Trusts You

He Asks For Your Advice

If a man is asking you for your advice it means that he not only trusts you, but that he also respects you, and values your opinion. He respects your knowledge, your intellect, and perhaps realizes that you know him well enough to protect him from himself in some circumstances.

He Takes Your Advice

It is one thing to ask for advice, and a whole another thing to actually receive it, and put it to use. I can respect a man who knows what he wants, and what he wants to do generally, but no one has all the answers.

Sometimes we need to seek the advice of others, and if you are one of his go to people for advice, then that says a lot. Him taking your advice is a big deal. It means that he really trusts you.

He Is Vulnerable With You

When a man feels comfortable venting his frustrations, concerns, or fears to a woman in his life it means he considers you a safe place, and that he trusts you.

Men are not big on looking weak to women, but because he trusts you, he knows that you are not judging him. He knows that you want to be there for him and support him, which is why he is able to be vulnerable, and seek solace in your words or your arms.

He Doesn’t Get Jealous

Yes, he may get a little jealous if you are flirty with every guy in the room, and ignoring him, because that is seriously not cool. But he won’t get jealous just because a guy speaks to you, or you go out with your friends, because he knows your heart, and he knows that he can trust you.

He Confides In You

If a man opens up about his past, or his childhood, and shares his secrets with you, it means he trusts you. It is never easy to discuss personal details, especially sad and hurtful details from one’s past or childhood with anyone, so consider yourself lucky to be allowed into this place by the guy in your life.

We all need someone in our life who we respect and value their opinion. We all need our “person” so to speak. Whether a relationship is romantic or platonic, if a man trusts you enough to let you in and be vulnerable with you, you are important to him.

Do you agree with the signs that a man trusts you? What would you add or take off the list? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Whether it’s friendship or relationship, all bonds are built on trust. Without it, you have nothing. “ - Unknown

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The Importance Of Passion In Relationships

Passion is defined as intense, driving, or overmastering of feeling or conviction. Passion is ardent love. Passion is most certainly present in courtships. Passion is shown in that crazy desire to see each other, and to be together all of the time in the early stages of relationships.

Passion is shown in hot kisses, and intense sex, but passion is not love. Love is the most important element for a good relationship, but without passion can it truly be a happy union? I do not believe so, but we all set our own standards for what makes a good, healthy relationship.

The Importance of Passion

The argument could be made that passion fades over time in a relationship, and that the fading is not necessarily a bad thing. Over the course of a relationship, as you really get to know one another, you communicate more effectively, and understand each other better.

Better communication will reduce disagreements, however, not every discussion is the same or equal.

Hopefully you and your partner can have passionate discussions about books, movies, and even politics. Two people with their own thoughts, and opinions, disagreeing respectfully, but keeping the everyday fun and interesting, makes life more exciting.

Otherwise what do you have? I suppose just two people going through life together, waiting for death.

Signs Of Passion In Relationship

• You Long For and Miss Each Other When Apart

• Great Sex

• You Inspire Each Other

• You Want To Spend Time Together

• Opinionated Conversations and Occasional Intense Discussions

Signs Of No Passion In Relationship

• No Sex

• Boring, Mechanical Sex

• No Disagreements

• Nothing To Talk About

• Not Excited About Each Other

What To Do

What you do about the lack of passion in your relationship depends on how you got to this place, and how you feel about the need for passion in your relationship.

Did you marry someone who was always kind of boring, and with no fire, and thought they would somehow change? Or was the relationship once hot and intense, and has slowly fizzled out?

There are things you can do if you want to bring back the passion to your relationship. There is a lot of advice out there, and some will work and some will not.

It all depends on the people involved, how committed they are to fixing the lack of passion, and the starting levels of passion in the beginning of the relationship

My advice is to keep is simple. Put down the devices. Go on a date night. Discuss everything, including your sexual fantasies. If the thought of discussing sexual fantasies with your partner makes you uncomfortable, then that may also be why there is a passion problem.

There are great self- help books on market, and last but not least there is couples counseling.

What are your thoughts on the importance of passion in a relationship? Passion in a relationship is not just about sex, it is about an overall feeling and desire towards your partner, and each other. Do you think one can have a happy, fulfilling relationship without passion? Please share your story or experience!

“Does your relationship match your sensuality? If it doesn't, you've settled.” - Lebo Grand

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Physical Attraction vs Emotional Connection: Which Matters More?

It is not usual for someone to see a person, and instantly have a mental connection with them. Most people are visual, so physical attraction is often what piques our romantic, or sexual interest in another person.

Physical attraction often comes first, but there are times when a mental connection can happen almost instantly, or so I have been told.

Mental connections can occasionally be confused with strong physical attractions. You can desire a person so much that you create a mental and emotional connection in your mind that really doesn’t exist.

Once the sexual act occurs, or the attraction wears off, the mental connection “suddenly” leaves.

Physical attractions are honestly an everyday occurrence. There are attractive people everywhere, but good luck finding a deep mental connection with someone. They are rare, and they are special.

Physical Attraction

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Physical attraction is based on physical appearance, and how attractive you find another person. Physical attraction is about a pretty or handsome face, or a nice figure or sexy body. You desire them. You want them. You like the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, and even the way they smell.

Signs Of Physical Attraction

• Big Smiles

• Nervousness

• Grooming

• Touching

• Mirroring Behavior

• Lots Of Eye Contact

Mental Connection

Mental connection is not mutually exclusive from physical attraction, but it is so much more. A mental connection is about shared interests, similar intellect, and chemistry. You get one another, and just click.

Mentally you feel close to them, and you have a quiet, unspoken understanding about many things. You can communicate with your eyes, because with your mental connection, you often know what the other person is thinking or feeling.

Signs Of A Mental Connection

• Conversation Is Effortless

• You’re Comfortable Being Yourself With Each Other

• You Can Read Each Other

• There Is An Intensity To The Relationship

• You Feel In Sync With One Another

• You Share A Powerful Mutual Respect

Which Is Better?

Physical attraction is important, and the importance of being physically attracted to your partner should not be discounted. However, the challenge with physical attraction is the inevitable change of physical appearance over time.

We all age, and gravity will wreak some havoc on the body. If a relationship was primarily based on physical attraction, then the partners will surely become dissatisfied in the long run.

Mental connections usually take time to flesh out. A mental connection is not noticed from across the room, and usually happens only after interactions, and getting to know someone. It should be noted that a mental connection may also be realized after just one conversation.

In my opinion, mental connections win every time. Physical attraction is important, but looks fade. Also I have found that how I felt about someone as a person directly affected how I viewed their attractiveness.

I have met men in the past, and at the initial meeting I found them to be attractive. After getting to know them, I became turned off by their personalities, or lack of intelligence, and no longer found them attractive.

With mental connections, people can become more attractive. The deeper the connection, the greater the attraction. Mental connections often create love goggles, which prevents one from seeing physical flaws that they would normally zone in on, because they are so in love.

For me, it comes down to who would I want to spend the rest of my days with. Do I want someone who I find very attractive, but have little or no mental connection. Or do I want to be with someone I have an amazing mental connection with? I think the answer is obvious, but I believe it also depends on where you are at in your life.

What are your thoughts on mental connection versus physical attraction. Which do you value more? Please share your story or experience!

“Physical attractions are common, but a mental connection is rare. Once you’ve had the latter, the former will never be enough” - Unknown

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5 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationships Without Realizing It

You say you want a relationship, but the minute you are in one you tend to do things to end it. It is a pattern repeated all too often by you. You are a self-saboteur, and relationship destroyer. If you find yourself entering relationships with high hopes, only for it to crash and burn unexpectedly, time and time again, it may be time for some self-analysis.

There are many reasons people will sabotage a relationship, but fear is usually the number one culprit. Fear of being of alone, and fear of rejection. Sounds weird, right? You fear being alone, so you do things in relationships that make you end up alone.

It’s about protecting your heart, and self-preservation. Unfortunately, you may lose out on a great relationship, maybe even the love of your life, due to your sabotaging.

Perhaps after reading this blog, you won’t stop sabotaging your relationships, but at least you will be aware of the signs when you are doing it.

The Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Relationship

Unrealistic Expectations

Did you really think that you would continue having sex twice a day, every day, for your entire relationship? Sex is a very important part of a relationship, but it is unrealistic to think that your sex life would not change over the course of your relationship, for many different reasons.

If you find yourself unhappy with the frequency of sex in your relationship you need to make your feelings known, in a thoughtful, non-accusatory manner.

Did you think your partner would not age, or that their body wouldn’t change over the years, especially after having kids? Completely unrealistic, shallow, and possibly indicative that you are not truly in love if you hyper-focus on your partner’s aging, or gaining a few pounds over the years.

Comparing Your Relationship To Others

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it is that things and people are not often what they seems to be. People tend to have a public and private persona, and that goes for couples as well. Some couples can seem so loving and perfect in public, and may be a hot mess behind closed doors.

It is often after couples split that truths come out, and only then do we realize we were trying to live up to an illusion.

Focus on your relationship. Live your best happy. No one’s relationship is perfect. Your relationship may be amazing, or it may completely suck. Either way, your thoughts and feelings about your relationship should be based on how your relationship makes you feel about yourself, and how it makes you feel about your partner.

Not Communicating Your Feelings

While we sometimes assume or wish our partners were mind readers, they are not. If something in your relationship is bothering you, or upsetting you, you need to speak up, and let your partner know. They cannot fix a problem they are unaware of.

Yes, there are times when it should be obvious, at least to you, that something they do or say is not okay with you. But remember, they are not you.

If your partner is constantly doing and saying things that annoy or anger you, tell them. If it continues, it may be time to move on.

Keeping Secrets

Whether you sneak the occasional cigarette or hide purchases from your partner, eventually you will be caught, and the issue of trust will come up. Do you need share every single thought or desire that comes to mind, I would say not necessarily, but keeping secrets in a relationship can be dangerous.

The gauge I recommend using regarding whether or not you are keeping a secret is to think about how your partner would feel about the information you are not sharing. If you are withholding information from your partner because you think they would be hurt, angry, or feel betrayed, then you are keeping secrets.

Being Selfish

It’s all about you, all the time. It has to be your way, and if it is not, temper tantrums, and bouts of sulking will commence. Does that sound familiar? We all want to have things our own way. We all have our own wants, desires, and preferences, but in a relationship sometimes you don’t get your preference.

Relationships require compromise, and sometimes that compromise may mean doing what your partner wants. If you choose your partner wisely, their wants and desires will closely align with yours. If you chose an opposite, or someone pretty different, be prepared for a lot of compromise, or to be completely selfish.

Relationships are challenging, and require work to maintain a healthy one. Not every relationship will work out, or is meant to be, but is important give yourself an opportunity to truly be happy. If the right person comes into your life, don’t sabotage things because you are afraid. Life is short and there are no guarantees, but taking a risk for a chance of happiness will be worth it every time.

What are your thoughts on sabotaging relationships? Do you agree with my list? Are you a self-saboteur? Please share your story or experience!

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

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The Science Of Soulmates...Explained By Spooky Quantum Entanglement

Did I pique your interest just a little bit with the title? I mean after all, aren’t the terms soulmate and spooky quantum entanglement interesting topics to say the least? I am a romantic, and a bit of a nerd, so this combination of topics are most certainly up my alley.

I have a particular fascination with time, and whether or not it truly moves linearly, or if it even exists at all. This blog is all about time, and soulmates, and spooky quantum entanglement.

This is where romance and love, meets science and the possibilities of the impossible.

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The Defined

Many of the terms and their definitions used in this blog are complex, arguable, and not easily defined, but in my simplest terms, and Wikipedia’s, here you go.

Time

Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. The truth of the matter is that time is a human concept, which is purely subjective.

We use clocks and devices as a means of tracking time, but how slow or fast, and in which direction time moves is individual. We all experience time differently.

Soulmates

The true meaning of soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives. Death does not separate true love, and soulmates will always find their way back to one another. The modern definition of soulmate is more simplistic.

Soulmates are two people who are drawn to each other, and connect on every level. There is an intensity and passion between soulmates that is difficult, if not impossible, to replicate. Very science-y right?

Spooky Quantum Entanglement

Spooky quantum entanglement is a physical phenomenon which occurs when pairs or groups of particles are generated, interact, or share spatial proximity in ways such that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described independently of the state of the other(s), even when the particles are separated by a large distance—instead, a quantum state must be described for the system as a whole. - Wikipedia

Mind blown, right? Spooky quantum entanglement is not for the faint of heart, or the easily confused.

The Intertwined

Everything is made of particles, and that includes human beings. With the knowledge that humans beings are made of particles, and applying the theory of spooky quantum entanglement, can we not see the possibility of the connection of two people, via their particles.

Whether they are sitting right next to one another, or in different cities, they are connected and their bodies can react to one another’s. They are soulmates in every way possible.

Soulmates may not physically be together, whether the separation is due to geographical distance, other relationships, or different timelines keeping them apart, the pull still exists.

Think back on all of those times you would feel happy, or sad, or your heart would just start racing for some unexplained reason. Those were the times you were feeling most connected to your soulmate.

You were feeling each other’s emotions. You were reacting to and mimicking the joys, and the emotional and physical pains of your soulmate.

The Belief

What do you call that feeling when you meet someone for the first time, but you feel like you have known them before? Something about them is familiar. Or what about when you keep running into the same person over and over again, as if something, the universe perhaps, is pulling you two together?

We have created all of these terms to explain away the mysterious. We call events coincidence and refer to some experiences as deja vu, but are they really? It’s more comfortable to dismiss and explain away, then it is to question and challenge the accepted.

Some might say that I am oversimplifying one of the universe’s most complex mysteries. Maybe I am, but that does not make it any less of a possibility.

If you believe like I do that nothing is ever truly gone, just changed in form, then you must believe that distance, time, and not even death can separate two people who are connected by the very fiber of their beings.

This blog is a combination of research, fiction writing, and my own personal theories. I am neither a scientist nor a mathematician, but the facts remain that there is more of the unexplained in our universe than there is of the explainable. Do you think I am wrong? Prove it…

“Our universe grants every soul a twin—a reflection of themselves—the kindred spirit – And no matter where they are or how far away they are from each other—even if they are in different dimensions, they will always find one another. This is destiny; this is love.” – Julie Dillon

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6 Signs You Have Outgrown Your Relationship

As the years go by, we grow and we change. Our wants and desires from 10 years ago may be vastly different than what they are today. It is inevitable. Life happens, priorities change, and as we gain insight and knowledge, our world view changes as well.

Unfortunately, sometimes our growth can negatively impact relationships in our lives, especially romantic relationships. The guy or girl that you were at 25 is not the same person at 35. You basically outgrow people in your life, including romantic partners.

If you are reading this, chances are you have already realized that you have outgrown your partner, but are looking for some definitive signs. Here are the six signs that you have outgrown your relationship.

6 Signs You Have Outgrown Your Relationship

Your Priorities Are Different

She is an ambitious, career focused money saver, while he prefers to focus on his hobbies, spend money like there is a never ending pot of money, and bounces from job to job. While once on the same page, one person has grown and become focused, while the other partner has become stagnant.

Your Interests Are Different

He is a political junkie and a huge Star Wars fan, while she is into reality television and fashion. He wants to talk about the upcoming election, and she is not even a registered voter. There is a problem here.

At some point these two people became polar opposites, and started to lack commonality. One is interested in world events, while the other is interested in looking cute and taking selfies.

Nothing To Talk About

You know that you have outgrown each other when you really have nothing to talk about, or it is the same old stories over and over.

It important to recognize that you have nothing to talk about because you have nothing in common, and you have nothing in common because you have outgrown each other.

You’re Bored

If you find your partner boring, you have outgrown them. The truth is that you find them boring because you now share different interests, are on a different intellectual levels, and no commonality any longer.

Different Values

Once upon a time you were both drinkers and into going out a lot. Now she’s a homebody, but he still likes to drink and go out a lot. She also likes to attend church, but he is a non believer.

Lifestyle and differing religious beliefs are big changes that happen as we grow and mature.

Different Goals

His goal is to have a nice family life with a few kids, while her goal is retire by 50 and then travel world. She doesn’t see kids in her future, and views them as a burden, while he sees children as a blessing.

It is hard to admit to yourself that you have outgrown your relationship without sounding like you are criticizing your partner or being judgey, but it is what it is. You should not feel guilty because you have grown and changed, especially if your growth has been for the better.

What are your thoughts on outgrowing relationships? Do you agree with the signs? When you outgrow a relationship do you stick it out or move on? Please share your experience!

“Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.” - Lee Goff

Photo by Pexels

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First Date Conversation Starters

First dates can either be super fun and cute, or crazy awkward and uncomfortable. There’s usually not a whole lot of in between. I equate a first date to a job interview. You are nervous, but trying to project confidence, and make a good first impression.

There are literally thousands of questions you could ask your date, but remember your goal, and remember that you are also being interviewed for a possible date number two as well.

The goal is to get to know enough about them on the first date to make a determination of basic compatibility, which is the decider for a second date.

I chose the below questions for the first date because I think they are safe, non controversial questions that give you enough intel about your date, but shouldn’t creep them out. You do not want to make them feel like they are being interrogated, or like they being interviewed to be a sperm donor.

The first date questions should be light and fun, but also informative.

First Date Conversation Starters

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1. Where are you from originally?

Many adults move for education and for work, so there is a good chance your date is not a local native. Depending on the part of the country someone is from, or if they were born and raised outside the US, it really shapes the person they are.

2. Where did you go to school?

Asking about his school will give him an opportunity to humble brag, and for you to learn about his educational background and career. Alma Mater pride talk is always fun.

3. What are you favorite things to do?

The purpose of this question is to find commonality. If he enjoys spending his weekends antiquing and visiting art galleries, while you spend your weekends surfing and camping, you are probably not a good fit.

But you also find out that you both love doing the same things, which makes planning a second date a no-brainer.

4. Do you have pets?

Is he a cat lover or dog lover, or hates animals altogether? Sounds like no a big deal, but it would be if the relationship progressed.

It’s great to find out early that your potential mate is allergic to cats, and you have two cats at home.

5. What’s your favorite form of entertainment? Books? Music? Movies?

I do not necessarily consider any answers to these questions deal breakers, and you do not need to have everything in common with a mate, but it is nice when you share similar taste in music and movies.

6. What is your guilty pleasure?

This is just a fun question, and a test to see how much they are willing to open up, and possibly a peek into their silly side. We all have a guilty pleasure, but will they admit to theirs?

There’s nothing wrong with being a terrible singer and loving karaoke.

7. What really annoys you?

Some people find large crowds annoying, while others would rather not interact with children or animals.

It might be helpful to know that their pet peeve is people who are indecisive, especially if you know that is one of your main quirks.

8. Who is your favorite entertainer?

The answer to this question should be very telling, and it should spark lively conversation. Is he open to fun banter and disagreement about who is the best singer, actor, writer, or musician, or does his opinion have to rule?

Be sure to keep the conversation natural, and space your questions out over the course of your time together. Hopefully you will find these questions helpful on your next first date, but remember that while you are asking these questions you are also trying to determine if you and your date have good chemistry.

What is your experience with first dates? Do you agree with my list of conversation staters? What questions would you ask on a first date? Please share your experience!

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control.” - Gwen

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