Love bombing is a newer term for an old tactic. A Prince Charming or Fairy Princess comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. They give you everything you thought you wanted in a relationship and more. They make you feel loved and special and seen. They seem almost perfect. Almost too good to be true.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. - Wikipedia

Love bombing is so effective because it plays into our fantasies of what romance and relationships should be. The hope of finding your one true love and the person who just gets you. The problem is that love bombers hide behind tactics to deceive and make their victims believe that they are different and offer something different when in reality they are terrible mates and have very little to offer a partner in the long run.

6 Signs of Love Bombing

Rushes The Relationship

After two dates, they are declaring their love for you and want to move in together. They want to meet your friends and family right away even though you two are still getting to know one another. They say you are soulmates and insist you two are meant to be.

You may even hear them spout the term, “when you know, you know” to justify the fast-moving relationship, and the demands they are making of you.

Excessive Attention

A love bomber will give you more attention than you ever had from any other romantic partner before. They will want you to spend all of your time with them. If they are not with you, they are texting, calling, and yes even tracking your whereabouts.

Excessive Affection

A love bomber cannot get enough of you. They will want to constantly kiss you, hold you, and be intimate with you. They do not respect boundaries. You are not one for public displays of affection but they will want to stake their claim on you for everyone else to see.

Lots of Gifts

A love bomber is very generous. They are overly generous actually, and right from the start. Dinners, flowers, trips, and lots and lots of gifts. They are sending flowers to your place of work so everyone can see. They will take you out on expensive dates, and they will buy you gifts and jewelry that is inappropriate for the stage of your relationship.

They are luring you in with a false promise of their generosity and giving nature when in all actuality they are the opposite. They are actually selfish.

Puts You On A Pedestal

A love bomber will tell you how wonderful and perfect you are, but also make you feel like they are the only one who appreciates you and sees your worth. They will make you feel like a hero but also like your value is attached to them and your relationship with them.

Acts As Your Protector

We all want to feel protected when we are vulnerable, but a love bomber will make you feel like there is a boogie man behind every corner and only they can protect you. Suddenly, they are convincing you that everyone is the enemy, including your family and friends.

They only want you to trust them. They will try to convince you that people you have known long before them are untrustworthy and manipulative, and want you to cut them out of your life for your own good.

Love bombers are really just your standard manipulative narcissists. They seem different than anyone else you have ever known before, at first. But as the mask slips away, and you peel back the layers, you may find that you have been duped. All of the above signs are red flags and the classic bait and switch tactics of love bombers.

What are your thoughts on love bombing? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get away from that situation? Please share your story!

“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that's often described by survivors as a kind of 'love-bombing'. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”
― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence