Friends With Benefits...5 Reasons It's Not Worth It
Friends with benefits sounds good in theory, but is it really worth potentially screwing up a great friendship for sex? The friends with benefits relationship is basically a no strings attached agreement. You have fun together, hang out, have sex, and then go your separate ways.
There are many people who fall into the trap of friends with benefits (FWB). It is after all very appealing. You are single, horny, and have a willing partner who you are close to and find attractive, or at least attractive enough.
The decision for the friends with benefits relationship is often made in the heat of the moment, and not well thought out. Unfortunately, there is no going back once you start sleeping together.
5 Reasons It's Not Worth It
It Changes The Friendship
The friendship changes but not usually for the good. Sure you are getting laid, but now there is a complicated relationship in your life, and it's with someone you would have normally confided in about it.
Also, instead of being the chill buddy, or the one they would pour their heart out to, you are now the booty call. Things start to become complicated.
You Feel Jealous
Although the deal was just sex, you will start to feel a little possessive. Before the sexual relationship started, and you were hanging out with your friend, it didn't bother you if he checked out another girl. In fact you didn't think anything of it, but with a sexual relationship involved you feel hurt, jealous, and kind of disrespected.
You Become Emotionally Attached
You always cared about them as a friend, but after you start having sex you will likely develop real feelings of love for them. Once that happens, it's analyze, analyze, analyze. What did he or she mean when they said this or that? Why haven't they called? Am I being used?
You Get Your Heart Broken
Maybe in the beginning you were down for a strictly sexual relationship, or possibly always hoped it would turn into more. Either way, your friend didn't feel the same way, and now you are left heartbroken and feeling foolish. This will be especially difficult if you have the same circle of friends, and his dates or new girlfriends are brought around.
It's Going To End
One way or another, your FWB is going to end, but it may not be by your choosing. Perhaps your friend started dating someone, or just felt that the sexual part of your relationship had run its course. Whatever the reason, the end will feel like a break up, and it will be difficult to handle. Now you have to struggle to maintain a friendship with someone you are in love with, and who has rejected you on some level.
In a nutshell, a friends with benefits relationship is sex with a friend who does not want more from your relationship. Not everyone is cut out for this type of relationship. So, in choosing to enter a FWB agreement, one needs to clear about what they want, and have an end game.
Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? How did it end? How did it make you feel, and would you ever engage in another one? Please share story or experience!
“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” - W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil