5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Not all relationships last. Many relationships run their natural course and end amicably, while others crash and burn. In some relationships, you walk away from it a better person than when it started, and with other relationships, you leave thinking “what the heck” just happened.

In my opinion, no one should ever be blindsided by the end of a romantic relationship because the signs are always there. Always. But if you are unsure that what you are seeing are signs that your relationship is in trouble and heading towards its demise, here are the signs to look for.

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Avoidance

You don’t spend time with them or they don’t want to spend time with you. Time together is no longer enjoyable. Time together is an annoyance; a burden. So what do you do, you avoid them altogether. You spend time with others. You focus on your kids, your work, or your hobbies. Anything to distract from your dissatisfaction with your relationship.

Avoidance is passive-aggressive behavior and the most common sign that a relationship is on its last legs.

Annoyance

Every little thing you or they do annoys the other person. The tolerance level for imperfection is extremely low and the person cannot seem to do anything right in the eyes of the partner who wants out.

The annoyance sign tends to be extremely hurtful because you feel like you cannot do anything right and your partner will basically tell you so. They become dismissive and often verbally or emotionally abusive.

Do not tolerate abuse.

Infrequent or No Intimacy

Any intimacy feels forced and like a chore. They don’t want to hug, kiss, or show any form of affection, and when they do, it feels cold and insincere. They may have trouble even saying “I love you”.

Maybe you have very long dry spells of no bedroom action, or perhaps you have started to sleep separately. Someone conveniently sleeping on the couch or not coming to bed until long after their partner has gone to sleep is a big sign.

No Communication

Communication is terrible at best and non-existent at its worst. You two are not communicating your feelings, emotions, or desires. You are doing whatever you want to do, without discussion or consideration for your partner.

In the past, you would text if you were running late or double-check with your partner before making plans. However, in your new relationship reality, the courtesy discussions and agreements do not happen.

This is a sign that they are starting to see themselves as a “me”, not a “we”.

Personality Changes

Maybe they have not changed but you are certainly seeing a different of side them. You are seeing a side that is not interested in your happiness, your opinions, or your feelings. You wonder where the old them have gone, but they make no apologies or excuses for the change, and instead just tell you “this is who they are” and expect you to accept it or not.

This sign may consist of a lot of gaslighting but it is also laced with invitations to end the relationship so they don’t have to.

When you know, you know. And when it’s over, it is over. Relationships can get to a point of no return, and it is important to recognize when you are there. And once you recognize it, tell yourself it is okay to let go. You will need to let go for your own mental and emotional well-being. Remember your worth and know that sometimes being alone and happy can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever have.

What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any of these signs or issues in a relationship? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

What To Do When You Love Them But Don't See A Future Together?

It sounds crazy to think that you could be in love with someone, madly even perhaps, but you have a nagging feeling telling you that he’s not the one. That feeling takes over and it becomes virtually impossible to see a future with someone you care so much for.

I am all about trusting your gut instincts, but I am also about analyzing and asking why we feel this way. Is it really a gut instinct talking or is there a bias, a judgment, or an unrealistic standard holding you back from finding true love.

When you don’t see a future with someone the right thing to do is to walk away, but before you do, I suggest you ask yourself these questions first.

Questions To Ask Before Walking Away From A Relationship

Am I Embarrassed For People To Meet Him"?

Is he is older or younger than the typical guy you date? Or perhaps a little shorter or balder than you are comfortable with?

You have every right to want a certain type of man, but if any of the above is the reason you do not see a future you are being shallow and may regret your decision to walk away in the long run.

Do I Think He’s Good Enough?

This is a tough question to ask ourselves and even tougher to admit when the answer is negative. Does he come from a poor family or the wrong side of the tracks and this bothers you?

If he is a good man, with a good heart who treats you well, you need to think twice before dismissing him as not being good enough.

Does His Income or Job Matter To Me?

Maybe you need a partner who makes a lot of money or at least more than you do. Sometimes it’s about status or material things, or maybe you are just a traditionalist, but either way, you cannot see yourself with a man who doesn’t make a lot of money or doesn’t make more money than you.

Good, available men are not easy to come by, so you may need to ask yourself what’s more important.

Do We Want Different Things?

They say opposites attract but making it work with someone who views the world differently, and wants different things in life can be challenging and perhaps somewhat disheartening.

If he wants different things, it is not your job to convince him otherwise. And if you are certain of the future you want, or don’t want, that may be a very good reason to walk away.

Will I Be Happier Without Him?

In the beginning, you were all starry-eyed and full of hope of a future together, but as you drifted from cloud nine back down to earth you realized that a future with this man may not make you as happy as you once thought. The masks fell off and you didn’t like what you saw.

There is no judgment here because you have every right to decide what you want and don’t want in a partner. And let’s be honest, only you know deep down inside the real answers to these questions. However, if you are being honest with yourself, you fell in love with this person for a reason, and since they are not a violent, horrible person (otherwise this would be a different conversation), it begs to question what prevents you from seeing a future with them?

Have you ever been in a situation where you love someone but didn’t see a future with them? If so, what did you do? What advice would you give? Please share your thoughts or story!

“Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
― Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

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