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What Is Love? Being, Falling, and Crazy In It
Valentine's Day is just a little more than a week away, so I thought I would write about love today. I am actually a Valentine's Day cynic. I find it lame, and a total consumer manipulation, however, I do love love.
So what exactly is love? And for this blog, we are talking about romantic love. Love is a feeling of strong affection and care for someone or something. It can also be a feeling of devotion or attachment.
How Does Romantic Love Feel?
A deep feeling of affection and care for another person
A strong or constant affection for and dedication to another
A warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
How Does Love Act?
When in love, you will show a commitment to, and adherence to, loving actions towards another, oneself, or many others, over a sustained duration
Love can take many forms and can be defined differently by different people.
I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I was recently described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together. But in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love.
Why Does Love Make You Crazy?
The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breathe, and live the other person. You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be. Seeing me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently and I think some of the outdated thoughts on love and Valentine’s Day specifically, have changed expectations for many women I know. More women are embracing being single and are pouring more into themselves and their non-romantic relationships. Galentine’s Day is also coming up. Which day will you be celebrating? Or maybe both?
You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you. - Unknown
5 Effective Ways To Co-Parent
Co-parenting can be challenging whether or not you are in a romantic relationship or are no longer together as a couple. Co-parenting takes understanding, patience, and mutual respect to do it effectively.
Children can be healthy and happy, even if their parents are not together and divorced, but in order for that to happen, both parents have to work together and be willing to meet their counterpart halfway. Advice is always easier said than done, but I think we can all agree that when it comes to our children, the effort is always worth it. Here are 5 effective ways to co-parent.
5 Ways To Effectively Co-Parent
Communicate
Great communication is always essential when it comes to any relationship, but even more so for two individuals to work together for a common goal. Co-parenting requires both parents to share their thoughts and feeling about the children and to listen to their counterparts.
A happy, healthy, and successful co-parenting relationship comes down to good communication.
Keep It About the Children
Whether you are madly in love with your partner or still hurting from a painful split, your parenting decisions should be about the children and their well-being. Parenting choices should not be about the other parent.
You may be dealing with a new boyfriend or girlfriend in your ex’s life, or perhaps they have even married, which may cause you some heartache or anger for you. But remember the beautiful child or children you two share. It is important to not use the children to control, manipulate, or punish the other parent.
Be Kind To Each Other
You should not intentionally undermine or try to usurp the other parent’s parental authority. This rule really comes into play if the relationship is going through challenging times or the parents are no longer together.
Choose kindness, if not for the other person you once cared about, then do it for your children. The children will benefit from the positive co-parenting relationship.
Be Willing To Compromise
When it comes to our children, there may some non-negotiables in regards to the rules you lay down. Whether you are a couple or no longer together, you are likely aligned one hundred percent on every issue in regards to your children.
Whether it’s about the food they are allowed to eat, how much television they get or the activities they participate in, there is bound to be some conflict. It is okay for there to be disagreements and different points of view but be willing to see other parents’ side of things and don’t dig your heels if you really do not have an issue with their parenting call. Be willing to talk it out and come to a consensus.
Present A United Front
Strive to always present a united front. It’s a bad idea to make your children think they can pit you two against one another in order to get their way. As sweet and wonderful as our children are, they will play you and your partner if it means they can get their way. Do not be fooled into thinking your little angel is above it.
To avoid this trap, discuss parenting disagreements outside of your children’s presence, and do not try to score the “cool parent” points by going against the other parent’s wishes outside their presence. This will only backfire on you in the end.
Parenting is not easy. Children do not come with a handbook and mistakes will be made. There is no magic formula to raising perfect children. All we can do as a parent is do our best, with the best intentions.
What are your thoughts on co-parenting? Do you agree with my advice? What advice would you give others? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“At the end of the day, you’ve got to be a little selfless. You have to say ‘It’s not about us. This didn’t work out quite how we wanted it to, but look at the amazing blessing that we have in these wonderful children.’ So you kinda put everything else to the side and really focus.” – Nick Cannon
Gender Roles In Marriage...Is "Taming" A Woman Still A Thing?
This topic came to mind as I was watching the series Miss Scarlet and The Duke. The series combines both elements of mystery and the classic undertones of a slow-burn romance. Set in a time when women were second-class citizens and men were in charge, women were expected to be passive, unopinionated, and to follow the man’s lead.
Depending on the country you live in or your religious affiliation not much may have changed. However, from my American woman's point of view, everything has changed. But if that’s the case why do so many relationships seem to struggle with gender roles and expectations from the female partner?
I suppose it’s not necessarily so much about taming a woman as it is about domesticating her and reverting a modern woman to a housewife from yesteryears. Let’s discuss.
Young single women often ask the question of what do men want. What are men looking for in a potential mate? Here’s what men say they are looking for in a potential mate.
Attractive
Nice and Kind
Intelligent
Independent
Easy to Be With
Notice how good cook, housekeeper, and mommy material are not the priorities stated by men when most are looking for mates. But somewhere along the way expectations and desired attributes seem to change.
Modern relationships start off with two young adults dating and getting married and possibly starting a family. Both were independent individuals prior to the nuptials with their own dreams and goals, yet once rings are on their fingers expectations and relationship roles slowly start to change.
Although this was a “modern” relationship, traditional roles and behaviors slowly rear their ugly heads. At first, it may seem cute cooking dinner every night for your man, and doing the laundry, and all the other domestic stuff but then you say, “Hey, wait a minute, I work too, so why am I doing everything?”
Did you know that women, whether you are a stay-at-home or work outside the home, do most of the cooking, house cleaning, and child care? According to one study by Oxfam and the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women spend two more hours each day on housework and child care.
Whether you work from home, are a stay-at-home mom, or work outside of the home, balance in household and child-rearing responsibilities is important for not only your relationship but your own mental and emotional well-being.
If you are feeling overburdened and unsupported, discuss it with your partner and do not allow resentment and frustrations to grow and fester. Communicate and let your feelings be known.
What are your thoughts on taming women and how we can go from independent women to domesticated homemakers by simply saying “I do”? Please share your thoughts. Do you disagree? What has been your experience? Please share!
“Stop making excuses for them. … They have eyes! They can see that the toilet paper roll needs changing and the wastebasket is full and that there is no more orange juice and we drink orange juice and orange juice is sold in grocery stores. They’ve trained themselves not to notice things because the less they notice the more we’ll just take care of it for them. They say, you should have told me you wanted my help when we had twelve people coming over for dinner! You should have told me not to sit in front of the computer looking at football scores while you’re running around doing everything by yourself. If you needed my help why didn’t you ask for it? I didn’t know you needed help. It’s madness.” ― Jeanne Ray, Calling Invisible Women
The 5 Traits That Attract Women To Men The Most
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Personalities, senses of humor, and intelligence all ultimately matter when it comes to attraction because attraction is not always just about the physical. Women will also want a mental and emotional attraction.
Here Are The 5 Trait That Attract Women To Men
Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy, and smart men can appreciate smart women.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways.
A good indicator of kindness, or lack thereof, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters and housekeepers. If he thinks they are beneath him, then he is not worth your time.
Sense Of Humor
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
It also helps when a man doesn’t take himself too seriously and can laugh at himself.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men are men to be appreciated.
A generous man gives because he wants to not because he expects something in return. He is usually kind and caring, which are both wonderful attributes.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important and valuable than looks or money in the long run. After all, looks fade, and while money is nice, it will not make you laugh, it will stimulate mentally, and it will offer you comfort in your darkest times.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What traits attract you? Please share your story or experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt
5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last
Some relationships are not meant to last, but the ones that do tend to have some common elements. Love is a beautiful thing, but relationships are hard work.
Relationships will have ups and downs, which is normal, but it’s how you handle those challenges, and how you feel about each other that determines your relationship longevity.
No one can truly predict which relationships will stand the test of time, although there are usually some obvious red flags when it comes to those that won’t. But what about identifying relationships that will make it?
Today, the average marriage lasts about 8 years, and that’s including the waiting period for the divorce. So how do you know if your relationship will beat those odds?
5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last
FEATURED VIDEO - 5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last
You Are Friends
You actually like your partner as a person and consider them a friend. They are your person. You enjoy spending time with them, talking to them, and it’s just a lot of fun to be together.
You often confide in your partner, and seek their advice, and use them as a sounding board for your thought and ideas.
You Admire Each Other
You have a lot of respect and admiration for your partner. Sometimes you are in awe at the amazing person that they are, and you feel so lucky that they chose you as their mate. Your partner inspires you to do more, and be more.
You View Each Other Positively
In your heart and in your mind you view your partner in a positive light. You know they are not perfect, but you don’t secretly think they’re dumb, or lazy, or dishonest. You beam with pride when speaking about them to others, and could truly go on and on about all of their wonderful attributes.
You Consider Yourselves A Team
When either of you speaks, it is always “us” and “we” because you are a united front. You are a team, ready to take on any challenge together. It is never a “me” against you attitude, or about always being right.
You Would Choose Them Again
A huge sign that your relationship will last is, if knowing what you know now, you would still choose them again. They say hindsight is 20/20. So if you can honestly say it has all been worth it, and they are worth it, and you would do it all over again, then you have a relationship that is likely to stand the test of time.
I believe that finding the right person isn’t about luck. Being in a lasting relationship is about choosing the right person for you from the beginning, and choosing them over and over again.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship with someone whom you truly believe to be your friend, whom you admire, and who you view in a positive light on a regular basis, you have chosen wisely. If you cannot say that this list applies to your partner or relationship, I think perhaps you should keep your options open.
What are your thoughts on the signs that your relationship will last? Do you agree with the signs? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“As much as I enjoy romance, it’s commitment that I need the most. I need to know a love I can depend on, a love that says, “I will be with you through it all. I love you. And I will love you even when you may not be all that lovable, for sometimes I'm not very lovable either. You can count on me - always.” ― Steve Goodier
5 Signs He Trusts You
Trust is important to all of us. Whether it is family and friends, or a business partner or a lover, being able to trust the people in our lives matters. There are variations and different levels of trust. We trust different people in our lives, with different matters in our lives.
Men and women are different creatures. Women tend to allow themselves to be more emotionally vulnerable and open with their feelings.
While men tend to be more guarded, and sometimes closed off when it comes to conveying their feelings, emotions, fears, and failures.
If you want to know if a man in your life trusts you, there are some simple signs to look for. Chances are, if he is doing several of the five signs I have listed below, he really trusts you.
5 Signs He Trusts You
He Asks For Your Advice
If a man is asking you for your advice it means that he not only trusts you, but that he also respects you, and values your opinion. He respects your knowledge, your intellect, and perhaps realizes that you know him well enough to protect him from himself in some circumstances.
He Takes Your Advice
It is one thing to ask for advice, and a whole another thing to actually receive it, and put it to use. I can respect a man who knows what he wants, and what he wants to do generally, but no one has all the answers.
Sometimes we need to seek the advice of others, and if you are one of his go to people for advice, then that says a lot. Him taking your advice is a big deal. It means that he really trusts you.
He Is Vulnerable With You
When a man feels comfortable venting his frustrations, concerns, or fears to a woman in his life it means he considers you a safe place, and that he trusts you.
Men are not big on looking weak to women, but because he trusts you, he knows that you are not judging him. He knows that you want to be there for him and support him, which is why he is able to be vulnerable, and seek solace in your words or your arms.
He Doesn’t Get Jealous
Yes, he may get a little jealous if you are flirty with every guy in the room, and ignoring him, because that is seriously not cool. But he won’t get jealous just because a guy speaks to you, or you go out with your friends, because he knows your heart, and he knows that he can trust you.
He Confides In You
If a man opens up about his past, or his childhood, and shares his secrets with you, it means he trusts you. It is never easy to discuss personal details, especially sad and hurtful details from one’s past or childhood with anyone, so consider yourself lucky to be allowed into this place by the guy in your life.
We all need someone in our life who we respect and value their opinion. We all need our “person” so to speak. Whether a relationship is romantic or platonic, if a man trusts you enough to let you in and be vulnerable with you, you are important to him.
Do you agree with the signs that a man trusts you? What would you add or take off the list? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Whether it’s friendship or relationship, all bonds are built on trust. Without it, you have nothing. “ - Unknown
All The Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Relationships
You say you want a relationship, but the minute you are in one you tend to do things to end it. It is a pattern repeated all too often by you. You are a self-saboteur, and relationship destroyer. If you find yourself entering relationships with high hopes, only for it to crash and burn unexpectedly, time and time again, it may be time for some self-analysis.
There are many reasons people will sabotage a relationship, but fear is usually the number one culprit. Fear of being of alone, and fear of rejection. Sounds weird, right? You fear being alone, so you do things in relationships that make you end up alone.
It’s about protecting your heart, and self-preservation. Unfortunately, you may lose out on a great relationship, maybe even the love of your life, due to your sabotaging.
Perhaps after reading this blog, you won’t stop sabotaging your relationships, but at least you will be aware of the signs when you are doing it.
The Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Relationship
Unrealistic Expectations
Did you really think that you would continue having sex twice a day, every day, for your entire relationship? Sex is a very important part of a relationship, but it is unrealistic to think that your sex life would not change over the course of your relationship, for many different reasons.
If you find yourself unhappy with the frequency of sex in your relationship you need to make your feelings known, in a thoughtful, non-accusatory manner.
Did you think your partner would not age, or that their body wouldn’t change over the years, especially after having kids? Completely unrealistic, shallow, and possibly indicative that you are not truly in love if you hyper-focus on your partner’s aging, or gaining a few pounds over the years.
Comparing Your Relationship To Others
If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it is that things and people are not often what they seems to be. People tend to have a public and private persona, and that goes for couples as well. Some couples can seem so loving and perfect in public, and may be a hot mess behind closed doors.
It is often after couples split that truths come out, and only then do we realize we were trying to live up to an illusion.
Focus on your relationship. Live your best happy. No one’s relationship is perfect. Your relationship may be amazing, or it may completely suck. Either way, your thoughts and feelings about your relationship should be based on how your relationship makes you feel about yourself, and how it makes you feel about your partner.
Not Communicating Your Feelings
While we sometimes assume or wish our partners were mind readers, they are not. If something in your relationship is bothering you, or upsetting you, you need to speak up, and let your partner know. They cannot fix a problem they are unaware of.
Yes, there are times when it should be obvious, at least to you, that something they do or say is not okay with you. But remember, they are not you.
If your partner is constantly doing and saying things that annoy or anger you, tell them. If it continues, it may be time to move on.
Keeping Secrets
Whether you sneak the occasional cigarette or hide purchases from your partner, eventually you will be caught, and the issue of trust will come up. Do you need share every single thought or desire that comes to mind, I would say not necessarily, but keeping secrets in a relationship can be dangerous.
The gauge I recommend using regarding whether or not you are keeping a secret is to think about how your partner would feel about the information you are not sharing. If you are withholding information from your partner because you think they would be hurt, angry, or feel betrayed, then you are keeping secrets.
Being Selfish
It’s all about you, all the time. It has to be your way, and if it is not, temper tantrums, and bouts of sulking will commence. Does that sound familiar? We all want to have things our own way. We all have our own wants, desires, and preferences, but in a relationship sometimes you don’t get your preference.
Relationships require compromise, and sometimes that compromise may mean doing what your partner wants. If you choose your partner wisely, their wants and desires will closely align with yours. If you chose an opposite, or someone pretty different, be prepared for a lot of compromise, or to be completely selfish.
Relationships are challenging, and require work to maintain a healthy one. Not every relationship will work out, or is meant to be, but is important give yourself an opportunity to truly be happy. If the right person comes into your life, don’t sabotage things because you are afraid. Life is short and there are no guarantees, but taking a risk for a chance of happiness will be worth it every time.
What are your thoughts on sabotaging relationships? Do you agree with my list? Are you a self-saboteur? Please share your story or experience!
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
6 Signs He's Interested In A Serious Relationship...With You
We all come to a point in our lives when we want to slow down, find the right person, and have a life with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage for everyone, in fact many people are blissfully happy in coupledom, with no formal commitment.
However, at some point a decision is made to be in a committed relationship with one person, with the hopes of spending your life together.
Dating is fun, but most of us do not want to date forever. At some point you want to feel that the relationship is heading somewhere, but how do we know. Of course you can always ask him how he feels.
You can have that awkward “where is the relationship going conversation”, when likely you should already know by how he behaves in the relationship.
Signs He’s Interested In A Serious Relationship
He Makes You A Priority
He makes time for you and wants to spend time with you. He ensures that you know where you stand in his life and leaves no doubt that you are a priority to him. When he is running late, or has to work late he let’s you know.
You’ve Met His Friends and Family
Men are not going to bring a woman around their friends and family unless they see the relationship going somewhere. If he wants you to meet his family and friends, then he is telling you he is serious about you, and wants his friends and family to know it as well.
He Wants To Meet Your Family
Meeting the family of someone you are dating for the first time is nerve racking and a little uncomfortable. So if your guy is not only willing, but wanting to meet your family, it is a big sign that he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Makes Nice With Your Friends
A man who sees you as part of his future will want to have a good relationship with your friends. He realizes that they are important to you, and because they are important to you, he wants to have a good relationship with them.
He Wants To Be Exclusive
If a man is serious about you, he will not want to see or date other people. Also, the thought of you dating other guys would be unbearable for him. If he wants to see you and only you, and asks that you are exclusive, then he is saying he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Tells You
A man just coming out and telling you how he feels is obviously the best way to know how he feels, but sometimes getting men to discuss their feeling can be like pulling teeth. But if he is really serious about you, and sees a future with you, he will tell you.
When it comes to matters of the heart, our judgement can become clouded when trying to make a determination between what is and what we want. Life would be much simpler if we all “used our words”, and communicated our wants and feelings clearly. As this is not always the case, we have to read the signs, when we lack the courage for words.
What signs do you look for when you think a relationship is turning serious? Do you agree with the signs I say to look for? Please share your experience!
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — When Harry Met Sally
Photo by mentatdgt from Pexels
Love...Falling, Being, Crazy In It and Why It Feels So Amazing
Love...the intense feeling of deep affection. I love the idea of falling in love, and being in love. I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I have been described as aloof, but actually I am a romantic.
Being in a relationship, and in love is nice. It feels safe and comfortable to look over at the person sitting or laying next to you, and truly feel like you know them, and that you are in it together.
You feel like you have found your other half, your soulmate so to speak, and all is right with the world.
As wonderful as it is to be in a relationship, in all honesty nothing gives the euphoric feeling like falling in love. The newness is what makes it so different. It's obsessive. You eat, breath, live the other person.
You cannot get enough of them. You could stay up all night talking to them, or staring at their face. You miss them the minute they leave, hang up the phone, or text goodnight.
They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, and last thing you think about when you fall asleep at night. It makes you feel alive. It's an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.
Falling in love is great, but a true, deeper love comes with getting to know the other person. They are not perfect, but a flawed individual. They share your interests, but have their own too. They truly "see" you, and not the fantasy person they want you to be.
“Seeing “me has been my request with love. See me, and all of my flaws. No masks! Someone is sure to have buyer's remorse otherwise.
I know everyone loves differently, and that's okay. For many it is all about longevity, and truly knowing your partner. While for others, it is all about the excitement of falling in love, and being with someone new.
Some people love the beginning of a relationship, and the middle of the part not so much, which leads to the end of the relationship. Boredom sets in, and for them it is time to find another love.
What are your thoughts on love? Do you love hard or play hard to get? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“You have no idea how fast my heart races every time I see you.” - Unknown
The 5 Things Women Find Most Attractive In Men...
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Here Are The 5 Things Women Find Attractive In Men
FEATURED VIDEO
Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways. A good indicator of kindness, or lack there of, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters.
Funny
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men, are men to be appreciated.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations, and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important, and valuable than looks or money in the long run.
What are you thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What you believe most attracts women to men? Please share your experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt