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5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted
Ghosting, the process of someone you love or care about disappearing from your life both physically and emotionally, cutting off all forms of communication, without any explanation. Ghosting be can be done by virtually anyone in your life from a romantic partner, or a best friend, to even a family member.
I admit that I have ghosted in the past, but hear me out before you judge. In a land far, far away, where there was no social media or texting, I was in a relationship. He was truly a wonderful person, whom I loved very much, but in my heart I knew it was not meant to be.
The last time I saw him, I knew it would be the last time. I didn't feel sad, or upset. I really didn't feel anything. We said goodnight to each other and would never speak or see each other again. There was no fight, or hurtful words, and technically actually no break up. But two people so different was never going to have a happily ever after.
When I think about it, we ghosted each other. Just disappeared from each other's lives, no explanation, and no goodbye.
5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted
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No Response To Texts
There was a time when you would send and receive good morning and goodnight texts to and from your man, and there was always an immediate response. If you are being ghosted, you do not receive any acknowledgment or response to your text.
Unfortunately a lack of response can leave you worried, or confused. You wonder if they are ok, or if the even received your text. This one is a little tricky so don’t jump to conclusions too fast. This could be a sign of ghosting or that someone lost their phone.
Drops or Blocks You From Social Media
Maybe you are someone who has a ton of friends and followers on social media, or perhaps only a few. Suddenly you realized you haven’t seen pictures or a status update from your bestie or your boyfriend.
You do a little research only to discover not only have you been unfriended, but also blocked on all of their social media accounts. You have definitely been ghosted.
They Are Always Busy
You and your guy used to always do dinner and a movie on Friday nights, but suddenly now he always has to work or has other plans. No one is that busy. If you are important to someone they will make the time to see you and spend time with you. If they don't have the time, it's because they do not consider you a priority.
They Avoid You In Places
You go to the same school, work at the same place, or go to the same gym, but you never see them anymore. A change in route, or routine in combination with the other signs is indicative that you are being ghosted.
No Eye Contact During Interactions
So you are pretty sure they have been avoiding you, and when you do run into them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and they will not look you in the eyes. They avoid eye contact because of guilt, and fear that you will bring up their recent behavior. A friend or love who cannot look you in the eye is likely no friend or love. They are ghosting you.
What To Do
If you think you are being ghosted, and it is by someone you truly care about and want in your life, confront them. You owe it to yourself, and to them, to create the opportunity to clear the air and make things right.
One time, and one time only, call them, email them, or make time for a face to face discussion. Maybe they are just not a good person and have decided they have no more use for you. Or it’s possible you did or said something that hurt or offended them and they are upset with you. Either way, move on after your attempt at reconciliation is ignored.
It can be said that the act of ghosting is a cowardly one, and I tend to agree in most cases. I also think that sometimes ghosting is necessary because there are no words. There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do, but fade away.
Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted anyone? Please share your experience!
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” - Mark Twain
Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels
10 Signs You Are In A Co-Dependent Relationship
Type the term "co-dependent relationship" in any search engine, and hundreds of articles will come up. Is it that co-dependent relationships are a growing phenomenon, or is it that more and more people are recognizing it for the unhealthy cycle it creates?
Relationships are about give and take, and a partnership of two individuals. But in a co-dependent relationship, all things tend to revolve around one half of the couple. Often times it is the female in the relationship that is the co-dependent partner.
She is eager to please, always with a smile on her face, even when she is sad or upset. Usually a learned behavior from the household she grew up in.
Co-dependent relationship can loosely be defined as the feeling that one cannot exist, be happy, or even feel complete without the other person. This type of relationship tends to stunt personal growth, create or exacerbate low self-esteem, and prevent those involved from truly being happy.
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Couples in codependent relationships tend to struggle for power and control. One or both are often anxious, resentful, and are guilt stricken. They do not respect each other’s individuality, or the need for autonomy.
Surprisingly, the relationships are usually drama free, because one or both are not honest with their feelings. The relationship also tends to lack in passion, and true intimacy.
10 Signs That You Are In A Co-Dependent Marriage:
Spouses opinion matters more than your own, especially in decision making
You prioritize their happiness, even if it makes you unhappy
You do not do anything without them, and do not have your own identity
You do not set appropriate boundaries with your spouse, and fear telling them “no”
You ignore their dishonesty, possessiveness, and jealous tendencies
You avoid confronting your partner about important issues because you fear rejection
You can’t "live" without the other person
You feel trapped in the relationship, but feel that if you did leave, you’d be a horrible person for abandoning your partner
You feel as if your life revolves around your partner
You cancel plans to accommodate your partner’s whims
According to marriage counselors, autonomy is the key to a healthy, balanced marriage. In a marriage, yes you love each other and want to be spend time together, but you should also be able to function independently. There needs to be allowances for separateness, differences, and one’s own thoughts and feelings. A partner should feel like a support beam, not an anchor.
What are your thoughts on co-dependent relationships? Are you in a co-dependent relationship or know someone who is? Are some couples blissfully ignorant existing in this state? Or are they in denial? Either way, the bliss or denial cannot last forever.
What other telltale signs of co-dependency would you add to this list? Please share your story or experience!
A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your goals, your dreams, or your dignity. - Unknown