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5 Signs It's Time To Break Up
Relationships are a lot of work, but worth it if you are happy and fulfilled. A healthy relationship consists of good communications, trust, and a lot of compromise. An "all in" end effort is needed by both parties to make a relationship work.
But what happens when one or both people in the relationship feels like the other is not doing their part? Or worse, you are just not feeling the relationship anymore.
Although you may be aware that things are no longer working, it can be hard to identify if it is a relationship that can be saved, and if it is worth saving. The big question is "how do you know when it is time to throw in the towel?".
We often stay in relationships long after the expiration date has come and gone. After spending months, and even years, investing time, effort, and love in another person, it can be hard to let go. But sometimes you have to let go and move on.
There are many signs that a relationship may be over, but we often choose to ignore them. The relationship lacks chemistry, true intimacy, and mutual respect. I have listed 5 signs you need to look for to help you make a decision regarding your "fight or flight" option in your relationship.
5 Signs It's Time To Break Up
FEATURED VIDEO - 5 Signs It’s Time To Break Up
You Are Unhappy
You just feel unhappy, sad, or unfulfilled by your relationship. Something is missing, or has changed, although you cannot necessarily pinpoint what it is. Once you were happy and couldn't wait to see their face, but now you feel dread, anxiety, or nothing at all in their presence.
You also notice the change in your mood when they are not around. You feel lighter, happier, and more like your old self.
Remember, no one is happy all of the time in their relationship. But if you are unhappy more often than not, you need to reevaluate your circumstances.
You Are Bored Or Uninterested
Spending time with your partner has started to feel like a chore, or an obligation. There was a time when you found your partner to be the most interesting, fun, and exciting person you knew.
Unfortunately, now you have to feign interest in what they are saying to you, but secretly you are only half listening, if even that.
You are mentally elsewhere when with your partner. You sometimes fantasize that they were different, or that you were with someone else.
There Is A Lot Of Fighting
Somehow everything turns into a fight. Whether the fighting consists of yelling, or giving the silent treatment, it has become the norm. To avoid fighting you constantly bite your tongue, because you feel like you cannot say or do anything right. Or you just avoid them completely.
If fights elevate to throwing things, slamming doors, or many nights sleeping apart, you have a big problem.
Poor Or No Communication
No communication can be due to you or your partner feeling like they cannot do or say anything right, so they withdraw and turn inward. However poor communication can also be speaking in disrespectful tones, using sarcasm, and yelling.
In relationships, communication also involves personal accountability, and not playing the blame game. If you or your partner believe that all of the problems in your relationship are due to the other person, then there is big communication problem. No one is being heard.
You Avoid Spending Time With Them
There are many ways to avoid spending time with your partner. Avoiding spending time with someone doesn't necessarily mean you are physically apart.
You can be in the same home, or at the same place, and still be avoiding one another. You can be sitting right next to one another, and still be a million miles away mentally and emotionally.
Avoidance can be burying your head in your computer or your phone, sleeping, or playing video games. Anything to avoid interacting with one another.
Another way to avoid spending time with your partner is by working longer hours at the office. Working longer hours, or just always being "busy" is the passive aggressive way of avoiding the relationships issues.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? If most or all of the list applies to your relationship, you need to think about making a change. Life is short. Don't waste it hoping things will miraculously get better, because that is highly unlikely. You hold the key to your own happiness.
"The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates
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Photo by Anthony Tran
Simple Ways To Read His Body Language
People communicate more non-verbally than verbally, so being able to read someone’s body language is a valuable skill. There are many tips and tricks to use, but it always comes down to our ability to observe those around us, and pay attention to the little things.
I believe if we are honest with ourselves we can admit that we spend quite a bit of time hiding our true thoughts and feelings. We hide our annoyance when we are in the check out line behind someone paying with a check, or how much we dislike our boss, or even how much we like the new guy or girl at work.
When it comes to hiding your feelings I bet you think you have it all figured out, right? You play it cool and try to keep your face emotionless when your jerk boss tasks you with something they should be doing. Or the girl you are crushing on is sitting across from you in a meeting.
How do you hide your feelings? Unfortunately, you can’t hide your feelings if your boss or crush knows how to read body language.
I have an expressive face so my irritation, anger, and annoyance are rarely disguised. I think I am much better at hiding my other thoughts and feelings. I hide my fear and anxiety really well. I have also been really good at hiding my attraction for certain men in the past. At least I think so.
Experts would say I had telltale signs that gave me away, of course if they knew what to look for. The eyes say it all. They will dilate to take in more of the one they are attracted to.
There is no all encompassing list of signs your body will exhibit with any one particular emotion, but the below lists have been shown to accurately predict ones true intent or feelings.
Body Language Signs
Here are signs you might exhibit if you dislike someone:
Not facing them when they talk to you
False smiles
Very little eye contact
Keeping a large distance
Yawning
Side stepping while talking to them (you want to leave)
Touching your nose
Here are signs you might be angry or hostile:
Balled fists
Pupil contraction
Running fingers through hair
Compressed or whitened lips
Crossing arms
Rapid speech
Intense glare
Shaking
Redness in face
Here are some signs you might exhibit if in the presence of someone you are crushing on or secretly in love with:
Lots of eye contact
Mirroring behavior
Gesture on appearance such as fixing tie, socks, or hair
Great posture, straightens up when in their presence
Is fidgety, and plays with things such as buttons or a pen
Touches face a lot out of nervousness
Plays with round objects in presence (this one is about sexual attraction and breasts)
Dilated eyes because they like what they are looking at
Feet point towards them, in order to keep them in your line of sight
Feeling vulnerable yet? I am. We all wear masks sometimes, often in the workplace. But our bodies betray us because research shows that whatever we are feeling shows up on our body first, not our conscious mind.
Once our mind becomes aware we can put on that fake smile or look of interest. Don't worry, sometimes people need to know how you really feel.
What are your thoughts on body language? Are you able to read someone’s body language? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Spring Cleaning...How To Use Lemons, Vinegar, and Baking Soda To Get Your Home Spotless
There is never a bad time to clean your home, but since spring is almost here, I thought I would dedicate a blog to spring cleaning. Personally, spring cleaning is not my favorite thing to do, but I do love finding creative, environmentally friendly, and cost-efficient ways to clean.
Did you know you probably have the essential products for getting your home spotless sitting right in your pantry? Lemons, vinegar, and baking soda are perfect for every day, and spring cleaning. The citric acid in lemons helps cut through dirt and grease.
Vinegar is also acidic and works to dissolve dirt, and clean sticky surfaces. Baking soda is sodium bicarbonate, which is basically salt. It is the opposite of acidic, with a higher Ph balance.
There are many uses for lemons, vinegar, and baking soda. When it comes to cleaning, they get the job done.
Cleaning With Lemons
Freshening Garbage Disposal - Toss lemon peels down drain, and run with running water until peels go down.
Clean Microwave - Place lemon slices in microwave safe cup or bowl and microwave for about 5 minutes, allows to steam, then wipe off inside of microwave
Clean Cutting Boards - Squeeze juice onto board and allow to sit for a few minutes, and then scrub.
Grout Stains - Squeeze lemon juice into a spray bottle, and spray on grout and use in conjunction with baking soda, and scrub.
Cleaning Stove Top - Squeeze juice into a spray bottle, and spray on grout. Use in conjunction with baking soda, by adding a bit of baking soda to damp sponge and scrubbing.
Cleaning With Vinegar
Cleaning Windows/Mirrors - Mix vinegar and water, equal parts, and add to spray bottle to clean.
Clean Bath Tub - Scrub bath tub with vinegar soaked sponge. Rinse away grime.
Cleaning Coffee Pot - Brew a pot with white vinegar, to decalcify. Then brew again with just water to clear out vinegar.
Clean Show Doors - Spray shower door with vinegar, and leave to get rid of soap scum.
Clean Stainless Steel Sink - Add vinegar to damp sponge and scrub sink. Add a little baking to your sponge, for added brightness.
Cleaning With Baking Soda
Clean Tiles - Clean tiles with baking soda and damp sponge. For even better results combine with vinegar.
Brighten Laundry - Add a cup of baking soda to your load of laundry to brighten clothes.
Clean Pot and Pans - Scrub greasy pots and pans in hot water, with sponge, and thick layer of baking soda.
Scrub Canyon Off Walls - Scrub walls with damp sponge and baking soda to remove crayon.
Scrub Stove Top, Range Hood, and Backsplash - Scrub down you kitchen with baking soda, and damp sponge, and wipe clean.
As you can see, you can use lemons, vinegar, and baking soda for spring and everyday cleaning. The best thing about these products is that they are cheap, non-toxic, and normally found in your fridge and pantry.
Combine vinegar and baking soda together for even more deep cleaning in your showers, tubs, and tiles. I recommend getting a large spray bottle to keep the vinegar in, specifically for cleaning. Please label the bottle, otherwise your daughter might end up with vinegar scented hair before heading off to school. Not my finest moment.
After you have completed all of your cleaning, splash some vinegar in your flower vase for longer lasting flowers. Bake some cookies with your baking soda. And if all else fails after all long day of cleaning, make some lemonade, and relax.
The Best Time Of Day To Exercise...Mornings Or Evening?
When it comes to exercise, my philosophy is to do it early to get it out of the way. But is there a best time to exercise to maximize caloric burn? There are many thoughts on when one should exercise, so let's break down the pros and cons of the morning workout versus the evening workout.
Morning Workout
The primary benefit of working out in the morning, is not having the whole day to derail your exercise plans. Those who work out in the morning tend to be more consistent, and find they have more energy throughout the day.
Morning workouts are usually more intense, and energetic since you are fresh, and not sluggish from a long day.
The morning workout also tends to encourage healthier eating habits. After a morning workout, people tend to eat less and make healthier food choices throughout the day, as to not ruin their perceived progress. The morning workout will also leave you feeling less stressed, and more relaxed for the day.
Morning Workout Benefits
More Consistent
More Energetic
Encourages Healthy Eating
Likely To Eat Less
More Relaxed/Less Stressed
Better Sleep
Afternoon/Evening Workout
The primary benefit of afternoon or evening workouts is that if you are a night owl, or not a morning person, this is the time that works for you and your body. Morning workouts are not for everyone. You are not going to have a good workout if you are sluggish, or half asleep.
Another benefit is that your body and muscles are warmed up from moving all day. Also surprisingly your blood pressure and heart rate are lower in the afternoon, while strength and endurance are high.
The big benefit for later workouts is that it is easier to find a workout buddy for afternoon, and evening workouts. People who have workout partners tend to stay more motivated and committed, than those who do not have a partner.
Evening Benefits
Motivation
Workout Partner
Body Warmed Up
Low Blood Pressure/Low Heart Rate
High Strength and Endurance
If you are a morning person, and can get up every morning at 5 or 6am to hit the gym or go for a walk or run then you should do that. If you have no time in morning, but love your evening walks, then that is the plan.
There is no scientific evidence that proves that a morning or evening workout will give you a more caloric burn advantage. However, a morning workout is said to jump start your metabolism. The most important thing is to exercise , and be as healthy as you can.
When do you exercise? Are you are an early bird or a night owl?
What Puts A Smile On Your Face? Whatever It Is, Keep Doing It...
Did you know that smiling can make you appear more attractive and younger looking? People like to be around happy individuals, and are drawn to them. Now, a smile in itself is not a true indicator of one's mood or emotional state. Sometimes people smile as a greeting, or even to hide their true thoughts and feelings. These false smiles do not reach the eyes, and are usually discernible from the real thing. What I want to know is what truly makes you smile.
I have to admit I am not a big smiler, but I can think of a lot things that make me smile. When I smile it is usually genuine because I am not great at pretending. So I try to make it a point to have people and hobbies in my life that make me smile, and avoid those people and things that make me frown.
I am simple when it comes to being happy. If a song that I love comes on the radio I turn it up, and start smiling. I smile a lot when working out, or so I have been told. Those endorphins kick in, and I start feeling so good. I smile at the smell of fresh baked bread, or cookies. All of these simple things make me happy, and make me smile.
Here are some of life’s simple pleasures that make me smile...
Watching My Daughters Laugh and Be Kind To Each Other
Seeing The First Sprigs Of Something I’ve Planted Come Up
A Good Joke
My First Cup Of Coffee In The Morning
The Leaves Changing Color In The Fall
The Sound Of Rain Patter, While Snuggling In Bed
A Crackling Fire
Sitting Down To Dinner With My Family
Disneyland
Watching The Waves At The Ocean
Fresh Flowers
A Kind Word Or Thoughtful Gesture
An Unexpected Text Or Call From A Friend Or Love You Miss
Exercise
A Good Book
Please note that I am not advising you to go around smiling like a grinning idiot. You do not need to be fake. I hope that you can find those every day little things that make you smile. I hope you can find an appreciation for those little things that truly make you happy. If you find that you have little to smile about, think about how you can change that. Life is short. We all deserve something in our life that makes us smile.
Never regret anything that made you smile. - Mark Twain
My Scent Addiction...The 5 Bath&Body Works Scents I Am Obsessed With!
At the Beach
I don't know if there has been some type of physiological or hormonal shift in me, but lately I am all about wonderful scents all of the time. Fortunately Bath and Body Works is feeding my addiction. I get my fix in the form of lotions, candles, body washes, and plug ins.
I have no affiliation with B&B, but I love all of their products for the most part. I have some new favorites, and they have brought back some of their retired scents to love as well. There is Juniper Breeze, Cucumber Melon, and White Tea and Ginger, and my all time favorite Freesia, just to name a few of the oldies that are back.
As we head into Spring, some wonderful new scents will emerge. Now, I am a girl who is all about a clean, fresh smell. I love it on a man, and I love it in a candle. No food like smelling candles for me, like pumpkin or marshmallows. Yuck!
My 5 Favorite Scents
- Focus - Blends of eucalyptus essential oils, and tea extract
- Bergamot Waters - The scent blends of bergamot, pristine blue waters, and sugared citrus
- At The Beach - Blends of frangipani, toasted coconut, and bergamot water
- Rose Water and Ivy - The scent of soft rose petals, rain-kissed ivy, and spring musk
- White Tea and Sage - Blends of tea, lemon, and herbs
Bergamot
Last year I fell in love with the scents Sweater Weather (which is seasonal), Bergamot, and Bergamot Waters. The Sweater Weather scent consists of fresh sage, juniper, eucalyptus, aromatics, and fresh woods. Sweater Weather is my favorite candle to burn. I stock up on these in fall. I am also a big fan of Bergamot. Bergamot is a french citrus that smells wonderful. Add to that sandalwood, and a blue water like clean scent, and it is heavenly.
For my body I am loving "at the Beach". I like the body cream and bath soak. It has quite the coconut influence, with some bergamot water added. Is there any wonder I love it? So now you know all about my scent addiction. I am always fully stocked with enough products for myself, and extra for my gift closet for last minute presents. There is always someone's birthday, or teacher appreciation week, and having extra B&B on hand will save the day. And if you are a close female friend or relative in my life, you are likely to receive some Bath & Body Works products as stocking stuffers for sure.
So what scent are you addicted to? I bet you have one. Maybe it's the smell of fresh baked cookies, or the way your love or crush smells. We all experience it at one time or another. That smell that invokes memories and feelings. Think about the smell that makes you smile.
10 Quotes To Live Your Life By...
I think we all can admit there is room for improvement, and growth within ourselves. I always say I am a work in progress. I truly am a work in progress, but I am always striving to grow, and be better.
I find that having a personal mantra is helpful. Inspirational quotes of the day help, and so does becoming more in tuned with yourself, and who you really are as person. Over the years, some very wise people have said some very insightful things. Some of their words have become my mantra.
10 Quotes To Live Your Life By...
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me." Carol Burnett
"Everybody does not have have to like you. That is not their job. Liking you is not anyone's purpose in life except yours." - Iyanla Vanzant
"A persons character is shown throughout their actions in life NOT where they sit on Sunday." - Navonne Johns
"My mission in life is to not merely survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." - Maya Angelou
"It's not the years of life, but the life in your years that count." Adlai E. Stevenson
"Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible." Mandy Hale
"Instead of being ashamed of what you have been through, be proud of what you have overcome." - Dr. Phil
"The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself." - Diane Von Furstenberg
"The only person with whom you have to compare yourself is you in the past." - Sigmund Freud
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts
I hope you find these quotes as insightful, and helpful as I do. Now that I have shared my 10 quotes to live by, what are some of your favorites? If you never thought about it, this list should get you started.
He's Not A Good Guy...10 Signs Of A No Good Man
There are many good men in this world, just perhaps not enough to go around. I have been fortunate these past 20 years to see an example of a really good man. I have honed my skills, and can recognize the no good man much more quickly nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case for me.
In my early twenties I fell hard for a no good man. Today I look back on that relationship, and smile because I learned so much from it. I would describe him as a very handsome con artist.
I overlooked red flags far too long, and doubted my inner voice. He was a cheater and a liar, and I was young and naive.
One day I woke up, and it was like a spell had been broken. I saw him for who he really was, and finally was strong enough to be free of him. Fortunately, I was not foolish, or desperate enough to marry him, or have children with him. But we were engaged for a period of time.
That relationship in my early twenties changed me, and I said never again. I learned my lesson, became more guarded, and demanded a certain level of treatment from future partners. I share my PG stories with young women in my life, in hopes of saving them "some" heartache.
Heartbreak is inevitable, but there are some ways to avoid the no good man and not get conned.
Here Are The 10 Signs I Say To Look For In A No Good Man...
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Your Friends and Family Do Not Like Him
Love makes us blind and we tend to overlook, make excuses for, and block out all of our loves’ faults. This one is a huge red flag. If your family and friends do not like your guy, it is because they are seeing the real him that you are choosing not to see. They love you, and want the best for you, and chances are, he is not it.
You catch him in lies, or his stories are inconsistent. He is not a trust worthy individual, and you find yourself questioning everything with him. You cannot trust a liar, and if you cannot trust your man, you cannot have a healthy, happy relationship.
Controlling
A man who tries to control you does not respect you, but wants to own you. He tells you who to be friends with, how to act, and even what to say. Controlling men are very insecure.
Rumors Follow Him
A man who constantly has negative “press” is a man who is likely up to no good. There is some truth to what has been said about him. Do not believe his bogus reasons as to why there is always something bad being said about him.
Question why his reputation is so poor that people so readily believe the worst of him. Trust me, it is not because people are jealous of him or your coupledom.
Something Seems Off
He seems wonderful, nearly perfect for you, but if something feels off about him then there probably is. Trust your gut instinct, which is picking up on some behaviors you are ignoring on a conscious level..
Doesn't Keep His Word
A man with empty promises, or no follow through is no good. He is all talk and frequently lets you down. He has big plans, and big dreams, but no effort to actually do anything.
Unreliable
He doesn’t show up when he says he will, or is not available or there when you need him. He is frequently late, shows signs of laziness, and is never willing to inconvenience himself.
No Friends
Be very wary of a man who cannot make, or keep friends. This guy will be very clingy, and try to keep you all to himself. If he doesn’t have friends, it is because he runs people off with his behavior and attitude. Other men find him unlikeable, although he will try to say it is because they are “jealous”.
He Values Things Over People
This is a man whose value system is really screwed up. He puts importance on labels, expensive things, and he is a braggart. A man who brags about things shows his immaturity, and a lack of social awareness. He might as well be wearing a sign that says ”douchebag” on it.
He Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
If he makes you feel bad about your clothes, your looks, your intelligence, or your cooking, he is no good. He should lift you up, not bring you down. He plays games, and loves to emotionally manipulate you into doing what he wants.
This list is not all inclusive, and the no good man does not need meet all of these signs. Ultimately, we all have to decide if he is "no good". I think it goes without saying that a man who is physically aggressive, or violent towards you is no good. Violence aside, it is up to the individual to decide what they are willing to accept.
For me, trust is everything. I know that when I really care about someone as a person, I only want to see the good in them. I still have blind spots for people close to me, so I always have to ask myself if I am ignoring red flags.
Do you agree with the signs of a no good man? Are you ignoring red flags with someone? Please share your story or experience!
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. - Benjamin Franklin
Easy French Oven Pot Roast Recipe...
Pot Roast
Whenever I think of pot roast, I think of family dinners. Pot roasts are comfort food. They warm the home, they warm the soul, and they bring families to the table.
Pot roasts are often cooked as a Sunday dinner in my home, especially during the winter. They take some time in the oven, but they are so worth the wait. The whole house smells so wonderful while the roast cooks. It's hard to resist peeking.
Ingredients:
4-5 lb. Beef Chuck Roast
1 Onion, Big Chopped
2 cup Baby Carrots
1 cup Red Wine
2 cups Beef Broth
2 tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
2 Garlic Cloves, Minced
3-4 Rosemary Sprigs, Fresh
1 tsp. Thyme
2-3 tbsp. Sea Salt
1-2 tbsp. Pepper
Olive Oil
Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degree fahrenheit. Drizzle olive oil in a French oven or large pot and sauté onions and garlic over medium heat for 2 minutes. Sprinkle half sea salt and pepper on each side of roast and rub into meat. Remove onions and garlic from pot with spoon and sit aside in bowl. Drizzle more olive oil in pot and sear roast on each side for about 4-5 minutes, until browned. Remove meat, and saute carrots in French oven until slight brown.
Remove carrots, reduce heat to low, and add wine to pot to deglaze pot to scape up all those yummy flavor bits. Add onions back into the pot with the roast. Also add carrots, thyme, and wine, and reduce to low heat. Allow meat to cook covered in oven for about 3 1/2 - 4 hours until meat is tender.
Remove roast from oven, and allow to rest for 15 to 20 minutes. I like serve this dish with creamy mashed potatoes. Enjoy!
The 5 Things Women Find Most Attractive In Men...
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Here Are The 5 Things Women Find Attractive In Men
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Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways. A good indicator of kindness, or lack there of, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters.
Funny
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men, are men to be appreciated.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations, and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important, and valuable than looks or money in the long run.
What are you thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What you believe most attracts women to men? Please share your experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt