5 Signs It's Time To Break Up...
Relationships are a lot of work, but worth it if you are happy and fulfilled. A healthy relationship consists of good communications, trust, and a lot of compromise. An "all in" end effort is needed by both parties to make a relationship work. But what happens when one or both people in the relationship feels like the other is not doing their part? Or worse, you are just not feeling the relationship anymore.
Although you may be aware that things are no longer working, it can be hard to identify if it is a relationship that can be saved, and if it is worth saving. The big question is "how do you know when it is time to throw in the towel?". We often stay in relationships long after the expiration date has come and gone. After spending months, and even years, investing time, effort, and love in another person, it can be hard to let go. But sometimes you have to let go and move on.
There are many signs that a relationship may be over, but we often choose to ignore them. The relationship lacks chemistry, true intimacy, and mutual respect. I have listed 5 signs you need to look for to help you make a decision regarding your "fight or flight" option in your relationship.
The 5 Signs It's Time To Break Up
You Are Unhappy
You just feel unhappy, sad, or unfulfilled by your relationship. Something is missing, or has changed, although you cannot necessarily pinpoint what it is. Once you were happy and couldn't wait to see their face, but now you feel dread, anxiety, or nothing at all in their presence.
You also notice the change in your mood when they are not around. You feel lighter, happier, and more like your old self. Remember, no one is happy all of the time in their relationship. But if you are unhappy more often than not, you need to reevaluate your circumstances.
You Are Bored Or Uninterested
Spending time with your partner has started to feel like a chore, or an obligation. There was a time when you found your partner to be the most interesting, fun, and exciting person you knew. Unfortunately, now you have to feign interest in what they are saying to you, but secretly you are only half listening, if even that.
You are mentally elsewhere when with your partner. You sometimes fantasize that they were different, or that you were with someone else.
There Is A Lot Of Fighting
Somehow everything turns into a fight. Whether the fighting consists of yelling, or giving the silent treatment, it has become the norm. To avoid fighting you constantly bite your tongue, because you feel like you cannot say or do anything right. Or you just avoid them completely.
If fights elevate to throwing things, slamming doors, or many nights sleeping apart, you have a big problem.
Poor Or No Communication
No communication can be due to you or your partner feeling like they cannot do or say anything right, so they withdraw and turn inward. However poor communication can also be speaking in disrespectful tones, using sarcasm, and yelling.
In relationships, communication also involves personal accountability, and not playing the blame game. If you or your partner believe that all of the problems in your relationship are due to the other person, then there is big communication problem. No one is being heard.
You Avoid Spending Time With Them
There are many ways to avoid spending time with your partner. Avoiding spending time with someone doesn't necessarily mean you are physically apart. You can be in the same home, or at the same place, and still be avoiding one another. You can be sitting right next to one another, and still be a million miles away mentally and emotionally. Avoidance can be burying your head in your computer or your phone, or by playing video games. Anything to avoid interacting with one another.
Another way to avoid spending time with your partner is by working longer hours at the office. Working longer hours, or just always being "busy" is the passive aggressive way of avoiding the relationships issues.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? If most or all of the list applies to your relationship, you need to think about making a change. Life is short. Don't waste it hoping things will miraculously get better, because that is highly unlikely. You hold the key to your own happiness.
"The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates
Photo by Anthony Tran