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5 Signs They're Not Your Friend...They Are A Frenemy
Some friendships can be complicated. We all have that person in our life who we think of as a friend, maybe even a best friend, but there is something about the relationship that often makes you feel icky. You have known them for a long time and have become used to and conditioned to accept certain behaviors and bad treatment from them but is this person really your friend?
Friends are supportive and respectful, care about your well-being, and want to see you happy. If you question whether someone in your circle genuinely likes you as a person, cares about you, and wants the best for you, they may not actually be a friend.
Here are the 5 signs to look for if you are doubting your friendship.
5 Signs They’re Not Your Friend
They Hurt Your Feelings a Lot
Whether it comes in the form of direct attacks, backhanded compliments, or deliberate slights, this person always manages to make you feel bad about yourself.
If they are hurting your feelings with words or behaviors, you should voice your concerns and if they continue to do it, they are not your friend.
You Walk On Eggshells Around Them
You cannot be honest or direct with them. They will cut you quickly with words or cut you out of their circle. This friend is easily angered, offended, or feels disrespected at the slightest perceived insult or joke. And when they feel this way they retaliate with cruelty.
You Don’t Feel Comfortable Sharing With Them
This person does not celebrate others and is not usually happy to see you doing well or winning in life. You do not trust them with your feelings or good news. In the past, when you shared your good news, they managed to find a way to poo poo on it and dismiss your accomplishment.
You Have Negative Feelings About Them
You keep them in your life because you feel like you should. You rationalize their behavior but if you really think about it, you do not like them because of how they treat you and others. Deep down you have negative thoughts about them.
Do not waste your time or mental health being friends with someone you don’t even like.
You Don’t Think They Like You
You two hang out and do things together but they make you feel as if they are just tolerating you. You have fun sometimes together but then they will do and say things that you make you think they do not actually like you. It is a relationship of convenience but not a real friendship.
If you have people in your life who make you feel bad about yourself, let them go. Life is too short to have people in our lives who create negativity and make us feel mentally and emotionally unsafe. You deserve better and do not need their validation.
What are your thoughts on frenemies? Have you had one? Share your thoughts and feelings!
“Fake friends; those who only drill holes under your boat to get it leaking; those who discredit your ambitions and those who pretend they love you, but behind their backs they know they are in to destroy your legacies.”
― Israelmore Ayivor, Shaping the dream
Metacognition - What Is It and Why Does It Matter?
The term metacognition is a mouthful. Metacognition is defined as awareness and understanding of one’s own thought process. In simple terms, metacognition is the ability for you to understand how you think and process information, and go about making decisions.
Why we do what we do is often a mystery to others and even ourselves at times. But by having the ability to assess why we do things, perhaps more specifically even, why we make bad decisions or do things that leave us with regret, we may be able to learn, become more knowledgeable, and change behaviors.
Metacognition
What is metacognition?
Okay, so we already know that metacognition is self-awareness and a full understanding of our own thoughts. But what does that mean? Metacognition is a critical awareness of one’s thinking and learning and oneself as a thinker and learner. Critical thinking skills fall under metacognition.
Strategies of Metacognition
There is a lot of research on metacognition and it can be broken into stages, levels, strategies, and categories depending on which study you are reading. The basic strategies are to remember, understand, apply, analyze, evaluate, and create.
There are four levels of metacognition. Perkins (1992) defined four levels of metacognitive learners: tacit; aware; strategic; and reflective. Tacit learners are unaware of their metacognitive knowledge. They do not think about any particular strategies for learning and merely accept if they know something or not. Reflective learners are not only strategic about their thinking but they also reflect upon their learning while it is happening, monitoring the success of any strategies they are using and then changing them as appropriate. Aware and strategic levels fall in between tacit and reflective.
Why does metacognition matter?
Metacognition matters for many reasons, the first one being the role it plays in your own mental and emotional well-being and your relationship with yourself. When you have self-awareness you can make improvements and become better at whatever you are trying to do. You become a better learner. When you have metacognition you can identify your strengths and weaknesses.
While metacognition can help with self-improvement, a lack of metacognition may be detrimental to your personal and professional life. Do not get me wrong, people who lack metacognition are not unhappy, in fact, in their case ignorance is bliss. They are woefully unaware of their lack of abilities, lack of knowledge, or how offensive or unappealing they can be to others. They are not good at reading the room or perceiving others.
If you are a learner and always striving to do better and be better, metacognition plays an important in your everyday life and interactions. Once we become aware, it only gets better from there.
What are your thoughts on metacognition? Please share your thoughts, opinions, and experiences with me!
7 Signs Someone Does Not Like You
Dealing with people is unavoidable. Some of these people you may like and others not so much. The same applies to them when it comes to you. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay, but knowing who doesn’t like you and who is not your friend is helpful as it will impact how you deal with them.
If it’s a coworker then keep it professional and polite. If they are an associate or a friend of a friend, limit interactions or avoid them altogether. Regardless of the role they play in your life, always choose your own mental health and well-being over trying to win them over because who cares, you’re amazing.
Here are the signs to look for and be aware of when someone dislikes you.
7 Signs Someone Dislikes You
Their Body Language Is Off
When someone does not like you they tend to keep their body turned away from you. Or their body language may seem openly hostile or threatening, including balled fists and unpleasant facial expressions. We often tell on ourselves with our body language and usually when we don’t like someone our body will send out cues, even if we are unaware that it is happening.
They Avoid You
Usually, when people dislike someone they tend to avoid any interaction with them as much as possible. However, on occasion, it may be difficult to avoid some individuals altogether if you are colleagues, have the same friend circle, or perhaps are even related.
They Give You Frosty Energy
When they cannot avoid you directly and interaction is forced, you may notice their behavior is cool towards you. They stand or sit far away from you and refuse to engage in any conversations you are part of unless they are forced to.
They Avoid Eye Contact
When someone does not like you they do not even want to look at you. People who dislike you will avoid eye contact with you. And when they are forced to make eye contact, they will give you the dead-eyes stare.
They Are Passive Aggressive
They may offer backhanded compliments or be overly sweet with you at times but with this behavior, you have to be on high alert and watch your back. They may also make jokes at your expense or try to embarrass you in front of others and pretend that it is all in good fun.
They Seem To Try To One Up You
Someone who dislikes you may be subtle or directly in your face with their attempts of showing you up or making you look bad. It may seem like they are in an unspoken competition with you and they will take great pleasure in beating you.
They Are Short With You
When someone dislikes you, their tolerance level for any mistake or imperfection from you is very low and they will show it. They may verbally express their displeasure with you or display negative body language towards you with deep sighs, rolled eyes, and crossed arms.
While it is important to recognize when someone does not like you, it is also important that you can accept that fact. Not everyone deserves your energy and is not worth your time. There is no need to launch an investigation into why someone doesn’t like you because not everyone has to and what purpose is really served. We cannot make someone like us.
You may not be for everyone, just like not everyone is for you. The moment you accept that you don’t have to be liked and that life is not a popularity contest, you will feel a weight lift. The desire to be liked is a desire for validation and your sense of worth should not be externally generated.
What are your thoughts on being disliked and recognizing the sign? Please share your thoughts and experiences!
“Better to be disliked for being you, than being liked for being someone else.” - Matt Haig
The Most Coveted (Book 3)
A woman stalked. An enemy with the means to run forever. A plan to find him and finish what they started years ago.
Deep in her heart, Sascha Montague always knew this only ends one way—one of them dead. For years, he was her friend, her confidante, and secretly obsessed. Now, his patience has run out, and he is threatening to crush anyone who stands between them.
Determined to find him before he hurts anyone else, Sascha and her handsome husband, Devon, search the ends of the earth for the man determined to destroy their love and take Sascha for himself.
Despite their nemesis’s attempts to interfere and ruin their happy marriage, Sascha and Devon’s love and bond grows stronger. As they work together to stop a murderer, the victims stack up, and everyone is a suspect.
When an opportunity to face her enemy presents itself, will Sascha risk it all for love, her family, and a chance to be free of her tormentor?
The Writer and the Billionaire (Book 1)
The Writer and the Billionaire is the story of Sascha Gills, a newly divorced writer whose life changes forever when she is swept off her feet by the charming, handsome, and spectacularly rich Devon Montague. But it’s not all smooth sailing—and someone from Sascha’s past seems determined to keep it that way. As Sascha and Devon’s relationship is tested by struggle and heartbreak, can they persist and ultimately triumph in love?
The Honeymoon Faze (Book 2)
he Honeymoon Faze is the second book in The Writer and the Billionaire book series.
With her stalker behind bars, Sascha can finally relax and enjoy life with her wonderful fiancé Devon and their new baby girl. A loving and passionate couple, Sascha and Devon cannot wait to tie the knot, but not everyone wants to see them get their happily ever after.
The envy of most women, Sascha’s life is nearly perfect, or so she is often told, but something just feels off to her. Despite being encouraged to move on from her traumatic past, and reminded that she is no longer in danger, Sascha cannot shake the feeling that she has more than one enemy in her midst.
As deadly events began to unfold, Sascha realizes that putting her nemesis in prison is just the beginning and that greater dangers are still hiding in the shadows.
Who can Sascha trust? And will her fixation on the past, destroy her future with Devon?
Murder At The Swell (Book 4)
Innocence is hard to prove when everyone is a suspect in this sexy fourth-in-series romantic thriller featuring crimes of the rich and famous.
Renowned writer Sascha Montague is desperate to clear her friend, Anna Green, after she is accused of murdering a fellow member of the gated community known as The Swell. But the more Sascha dives into the mystery, the deeper the dangers are for her loved ones—including her billionaire husband, Devon, who has a similar talent for finding trouble.
Sascha faces more questions than answers after she discovers the victim was part of a secret club and receives a cryptic letter. And things only get more tangled when strange happenings pile up in the form of an old enemy’s sister and an ex-lover who can’t let her go. Will Sascha manage to unravel the lies and alibis before it’s too late and she becomes the next target?
The truth is out there…ready to be buried.
Twin Flame vs Soulmate: What Is The Difference?
Whether you are a hopeless romantic, a believer in astrology and the zodiac, or just someone curious about the mysteries of the universe and how everyone and everything may be connected, you may find the terms twin flame and soulmate intriguing. If you believe in fate, and love, and that some of us are just meant to cross paths, be together, or are destined to be intertwined, forever, then this blog is for you.
I think most people know what a soulmate is but some have never heard the term “twin flame” before. The two terms are often used as interchangeable but actually have different meanings.
What is a twin flame?
Twin flames are believed to be part of the same soul but divided into two separate bodies. These two individuals form a powerful bond that transcends time and space when they come together. When meeting, a twin flame will remind you of yourself and you will be able to form a bond effortlessly.
What is a soulmate?
Soulmate has many definitions. The basic definition is a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. The true meaning of a soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives. Relationships between soulmates are magical and when romantic with passion that is off the charts. You cannot explain it, but there will be a connection between you and your soulmate that exists whether you two are together or apart.
What’s the difference a twin flame and soulmate?
The main difference between a twin flame and a soulmate is that you only get one twin flame while you may have multiple soulmates. The twin flame is literally your other half. Your twin flame may make you feel complete and feed your soul.
Soulmates are cosmically linked. You are meant to be and being together or being around one another just feels right. You may have a bestie who is your soulmate, while also having a lover or a partner who is a soulmate as well.
Which is better, the twin flame or the soulmate?
Many would say, myself included, that neither the twin flame or soulmate, is better or worse than the other because they each bring something similar, yet unique, to your life. There is room for both and if you are fortunate enough to find your twin flame or soulmate in this life, cherish them.
What are your thoughts on twin flames and soulmates? Have you found your person or person yet? Please share!
“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”— Maya Angelou
8 Shows To Stream Right Now
Oh, what to watch next? That is the question. In the era of endless streaming options and almost too many choices, we can often find ourselves stuck trying to figure out what to watch next. Well, I’ve got some pretty options for you on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, and Apple TV.
Even here in southern California, it's cold outside and the perfect time to curl up on the couch, or your favorite chair, or maybe snuggle in bed and enjoy some screen time.
8 Shows to Stream Right Now
Fool Me Once
Widowed mum Maya is disturbed by an image of her late husband captured on her toddler's nanny cam. - IMDB
I had mixed feelings about this series. There are some plot twists and turns and a surprise ending but also some bumps that may make you say hmm. If you enjoy suspense, Fool Me Once may be for you. With eight episodes, it’s an easy weekend binge. Available now on Netflix.
The Bear
A young chef from the fine dining world returns to Chicago to run his family's sandwich shop. -IMDB
Filthy language, intense, anxiety-inducing scenes, and just so good. Seasons one and two are now available on Hulu. Watch now and you can thank me later.
May/December
Twenty years after their notorious tabloid romance gripped the nation, a married couple buckles under pressure when an actress arrives to do research for a film about their past. - IMDB
The movie is a little odd and uncomfortable to watch at times. Still, it will seem familiar to you if you remember the news coverage of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. Although the characters are changed slightly, the similarities are obvious and disturbing. The cast does a great job of showing the viewers what we could all imagine as the behind-the-scenes dynamic of a relationship that started with a crime. Watch on Netflix.
Percy Jackson
Demigod Percy Jackson leads a quest across America to prevent a war among the Olympian gods. - IMDB
Based on the Rick Riordan book, Percy Jackson is a family-friendly adventure that you can watch on either Disney Plus or Hulu.
Criminal Record
Follows two brilliant detectives in a tug of war over a historic murder conviction, dealing with issues of race, institutional failure, and the quest to find common ground in a polarized Britain. - IMDB
I am only two episodes into this show, which drops new episodes every Wednesday on Apple TV, but the premise is promising and the reviews are great. I’m invested in seeing how it ends.
Gran Tourismo
Based on the unbelievable, inspiring true story of a team of underdogs - a struggling, working-class gamer, a failed former race car driver, and an idealistic motorsport exec - who risk it all to take on the most elite sport in the world. - IMDB
The fact that this is a true story is fascinating. The movie is fun, exciting, and family-friendly viewing. You can catch Gran Tourismo now on Netflix.
Saltburn
A student at Oxford University finds himself drawn into the world of a charming and aristocratic classmate, who invites him to his eccentric family's sprawling estate for a summer never to be forgotten. - IMDB
I had to see what all of the buzz was about. I found this movie strange but entertaining. It is most certainly not family friendly but it is worth giving a watch. It is currently available on Amazon Prime and is free for Prime members.
Reacher
Itinerant former military policeman Jack Reacher solves crimes and metes out his own brand of street justice. - IMDB
Reacher is a great show with a lot of action and excitement and is perfect for a binge day since season two recently dropped. Watch it now on Amazon Prime.
I think I have given you some great options. Enjoy!
5 Ways To Get Your Fitness On In The New Year
The holidays are nearing their end and you may be thinking that after a couple of months of over-indulgence, how are you going to fit back into your non-winter clothes? I think most of us can relate but here is something to remember, it is never too early to start working on that summer body.
I know many of us make New Year's resolutions and swear this is the year we are going to get committed and stay committed to a health and fitness routine. I think if there is ever a time to commit to your fitness, it is early winter because we tend to be less active this time of year, eat more, and gain more weight.
The days are shorter, the weather may be challenging depending on your location, and the food temptations are ridiculous. Not to mention game day Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays with all of the gatherings with snacks and drinks. But you can get fit and stay fit in the winter, despite what seems like the worst time of year to achieve your fitness goals.
The first thing to remember is nothing has changed. You are still you whether you have gained a few extra pounds or not. You can indulge but just do it in moderation. And most importantly, remember that a bad day, or even a bad week does not undo all of your progress, so no matter what, just get back at it.
Your fitness journey may need to start indoors, either at a gym or at home and that is okay too. This is not an advertisement for Peloton, but I use my Peloton tread, bike, or the Peloton app daily for my fitness needs. I say make whatever you have available work for you.
5 Ways To Get Your Fitness On Now and In The New Year
Walking and Hiking
I am fortunate enough to live close to many trails, so walking and hiking is always an option for me. On days when it gets dark early or it is too cold out, I choose to walk on my treadmill. Find your favorite place to walk or hike, bring a friend, or just pop in your earbuds and enjoy the scenery in solitude.
Treadmill
Running is exhilarating. My treadmill is my bestie and my happy place. Whether you choose to speed walk, jog, or take a run, the treadmill is a great place to work on your conditioning.
Cycling
If you are like me and have knee issues, cycling is a great way to build cardio fitness and leg strength without the traumatic impact that running can have on the body. Cycling is a great option for low-impact exercise to take either indoors or outdoors.
Strength Training
Strength training is very important as we age. Our bones need it. Our bodies need it. Strength training burns a lot of calories and builds muscle while strengthening bones and reducing the risk of osteoarthritis.
Pilates and Yoga
Doing pilates and yoga is a way to work on flexibility and strength while minimizing impact on the body. Pilates and yoga moves are easily performed indoors and are great companions to your endurance exercises.
I have given you some options to help get you started on your fitness recovery or journey but there are so many more that I did not mention. What is your favorite way to move your body and exercise? Please share!