5 Biggest Marriage Complaints From Wives

I think at this point, most adults recognize that marriage is challenging at best, and hard work in reality. Love does not conquer all, especially when those in the marriage feel like they are being taken for granted and not getting the best effort from their partner.

As someone who has been married for over 20 years and has listened to many friends, relatives, and coworkers complain about their past and present spouses, it’s no wonder divorce rates are so high.

A happy and fulfilling marriage requires a team effort, and many women feel their spouse is just sitting on the bench and watching them take it for the team, constantly.

Here Are the Biggest Complaints Women Have About Their Marriage

Household Chores

Household chores and who does them can become one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Whether the wife is a stay-at-home mom, or works full time, for many households, the wife does most, if not all the cooking, and cleaning, including picking up behind her spouse. She also does the shopping, bill paying, and pet care, and takes care of the couple’s social calendar.

If she stays at home, it is like her shift never ends, and if she works outside the home, she is doing twice the work of her partner. Can you say seething resentment?

Child Care

The common belief that women should be the primary caretaker of children in a family is still very prevalent, despite the fact that women are often financial contributors to the household and sometimes the breadwinners.

Some women ask “Is it that he can’t or he won’t take on more of the childcare efforts”. Obviously, dads cannot breastfeed but they can bottle feed. Both parents can comfort and discipline their children and help with homework, but many women complain that it all falls on them unless they ask their husbands for “help”. Yes, they have to ask for help from their spouse to take care of their own children. This is a source of frustration.

In-Laws

Whether the in-laws are too involved or not involved at all in the marriage and the family, they can be a source of contention for a couple, especially when there are grandchildren.

When a couple weds, the spouse has to come first, and a husband should stick up for and defend his wife against meddling relatives, and not expect her to tolerate hostile or toxic situations.

Monster-in-laws are not just a myth, they do exist.

Finances

Money has always been and continues to be a big issue in marriages. Who controls the money, who decides how the money is spent, and who pays for what is a big stressor for married couples.

Many households are dual income, but both spouses may not bring in equal pay. Whether all the money goes into one pot or the couples keep separate accounts, agreeing on financial goals and spending habits often creates disagreements.

According to a Department of Labor statistic, married women make 75.5% of what married men make. Unmarried, never-married women make 94.2% of what their unmarried male counterparts make.

Communication

It sucks to be married to a poor communicator. Communication is always the cornerstone of any good relationship, but it doesn’t work miracles. Communication has to be reciprocated and with good intentions. Listening is also part of good communication and so is being open to receiving information.

Many wives complain about having the same discussions, complaints, and arguments over and over again with their spouses. They don’t feel heard and often feel more like mothers and bosses than wives and partners. How do you express the same feelings and frustrations time and again without sounding like a nag or a shrew? Is the hubby just nodding his head but checking out of the conversation? Or is the wife expecting him to read her mind? I suppose both could be true.

In a relationship, if your partner does not consider your complaints and frustrations valid, you may be with the wrong person. Your partner should respect you enough to not want you working all day at a job and coming home and working like a dog taking care of the house, the kids, and him. A person who allows that to happen is selfish and has a lack of respect for you, and maybe a lack of love for you as well.

What are your thoughts on complaints wives have? What are your complaints? How did you address them? Did anything change? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” ― Greg Behrendt

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The Self Fulfilling Prophecy of Getting Dumped: The 5 Reasons Why They Left You

Some relationships were never meant to last, and deep down we always knew it. We want to be happy and enjoy the relationship, but we cannot get the negative thoughts out of our heads which tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-fulfilling prophecy is also known as the interpersonal expectancy effect.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is the psychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something, and this "prediction" or expectation coming true simply because the person believes or anticipates it will and the person's resulting behaviors align to fulfill the belief. Wikipedia

The sad thing about self-fulfilling prophecies is that our behaviors play a huge part in the outcome of situations, in this case, relationships. When you had doubts, you acted out, and possibly changed the trajectory of your relationship, and drove them away.

Here’s Why They Left You

You Are Insecure

Confidence is sexy, and insecurity is…well, unsexy. Your lack of confidence in yourself makes you feel insecure in your relationship, which makes you behave clingy and possessive. No matter how many times your partner tells you they love you, they find you attractive, and that they think you are wonderful, you continue to seek more and more validation, which is annoying and drives them away.

Your insecurity is a turnoff. If you do not believe you are worthy of love, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?

You Are Jealous

A certain level of jealousy is normal, but you freak out if your partner smiles at the attractive bartender or waitress. You are checking their phone, tracking their whereabouts, and constantly grilling on their comings and goings. They wanted a partner, not a parent.

If they give attention to anyone other than you, it puts you in a mood and you punish them for it later by ignoring them or withholding affection or intimacy.

Ultimately, behavior like this ends with the opposite of the intended effect.

You Are Controlling

Controlling partners make their mates miserable. Relationships are supposed to be about compromise, but it has to be your way all the time. You want to decide where you live, who you are friends with, where you eat, what you eat. It all has to be your because you believe if you can control them, and control the relationship, they will stay with you.

Unfortunately, when you try to control your partner, you only motivate them to want to leave you and take back control of their life.

You Are Mean

Our fears can manifest themselves in many ways, anger and meanness are a couple of examples. You fear losing your partner, which makes you angry and resentful of them for “making” you feel that way. Instead of recognizing the emotion for what it is, lashing out and meanness occur.

You become insulting and short-tempered with them, and may even betray them because you feel entitled to because you suspect they will eventually leave you.

You Checked Out of the Relationship

Hurt them before they hurt you may be your philosophy, which is terrible, self-destructive, and doesn’t actually prevent you from getting hurt. It just ensures you always end up alone.

Relationships require work and maintenance to function. When someone emotionally checks out of a relationship, they stop being a supportive partner. They stop trying. If you emotionally check out of a relationship you may stop doing both the big and the little things that made your partner feel cared for and valued. Once you check out, you ensure the demise of your relationship.

It takes a lot of self-analysis and self-awareness to recognize when you are unintentionally sabotaging your relationship and creating the self-fulfilling prophecy that will lead to your partner dumping you. This blog gives you examples of what not to do if you are worried about being hurt and being dumped.

You have to remember, just like you chose them, they chose you, as you are. They chose you with your looks, your income, your intellect, your body, and your brain. Yes, some relationships will not work out., but a successful or a failed relationship does not determine your value. You are good enough, but not everything is meant to be.

What are your thoughts on self-fulfilling prophecies? Any experience with ruining a relationship because you were worried your partner would break things off? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

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6 Signs Of Love Bombing... What Is Love Bombing and Why You Need To Stay Away From Love Bombers

Love bombing is a newer term for an old tactic. A Prince Charming or Fairy Princess comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. They give you everything you thought you wanted in a relationship and more. They make you feel loved and special and seen. They seem almost perfect. Almost too good to be true.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. - Wikipedia

Love bombing is so effective because it plays into our fantasies of what romance and relationships should be. The hope of finding your one true love and the person who just gets you. The problem is that love bombers hide behind tactics to deceive and make their victims believe that they are different from the other men and women in their past and offer something special and unique as a partner. In reality, they are terrible mates and have very little to offer a partner in the long run.

6 Signs of Love Bombing

Rushes The Relationship

After two dates, they are declaring their love for you and want to move in together. They want to meet your friends and family right away even though you two are still getting to know one another. They say you are soulmates and insist you two are meant to be.

You may even hear them spout the term, “when you know, you know” to justify the fast-moving relationship, and the demands they are making of you.

Excessive Attention

A love bomber will give you more attention than you ever had from any other romantic partner before. They will want you to spend all of your time with them. If they are not with you, they are texting, calling, and yes even tracking your whereabouts.

Excessive Affection

A love bomber cannot get enough of you. They will want to constantly kiss you, hold you, and be intimate with you. They do not respect boundaries. You are not one for public displays of affection but they will want to stake their claim on you for everyone else to see.

Lots of Gifts

A love bomber is very generous. They are overly generous actually, and right from the start. Dinners, flowers, trips, and lots and lots of gifts. They are sending flowers to your place of work so everyone can see. They will take you out on expensive dates, and they will buy you gifts and jewelry that is inappropriate for the stage of your relationship.

They are luring you in with a false promise of their generosity and giving nature when in all actuality they are the opposite. They are actually selfish.

Puts You On A Pedestal

A love bomber will tell you how wonderful and perfect you are, but also make you feel like they are the only one who appreciates you and sees your worth. They will make you feel like a hero but also like your value is attached to them and your relationship with them.

Acts As Your Protector

We all want to feel protected when we are vulnerable, but a love bomber will make you feel like there is a boogie man behind every corner and only they can protect you. Suddenly, they are convincing you that everyone is the enemy, including your family and friends.

They only want you to trust them. They will try to convince you that people you have known long before them are untrustworthy and manipulative, and want you to cut them out of your life for your own good.

Love bombers are really just your standard manipulative narcissists. They seem different than anyone else you have ever known before, at first. But as the mask slips away, and you peel back the layers, you may find that you have been duped. All of the above signs are red flags and the classic bait and switch tactics of love bombers.

What are your thoughts on love bombing? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get away from that situation? Please share your story!

If you are a survivor of abuse, please find help at Helping Survivors.org.

“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that's often described by survivors as a kind of 'love-bombing'. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”
― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence

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Rushing Love?...5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly

Dating is one thing but falling in love ups the ante. When it comes to love many will say, “when you know, you know’” And that saying applies in some cases, but in most cases, not so much. In the early stages of romantic relationships, our heads tend to be in the clouds.

You may be thinking how in the world do I fall in love slowly, or saying “I cannot help how I feel”. To which I say, you have more control than you think you do. I am not saying for you to not to fall in love, I am just suggesting that you give time and space for the rational thoughts to come into play.

5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly

You Need To Get To Know Them

Falling in love with a stranger is a dangerous act. It is completely possible that this new person is your forever person and soulmate, but in the beginning, it is too early to tell. You don’t know them, and won’t know them for a while, despite how connected you feel to them.

In the first year or two, the masks are still on. Over time people will let down their guards and show you the real them. The real them is the person you want to base your decisions on, not who they pretended to be to charm you and win you over.

You Need Time To Assess

Once you have gotten to know them to some degree, now you need to figure out if you are compatible in the long run. It takes time to get to know someone. Getting to know someone is not a process that can be rushed, no matter how great they seem.

You will also need time to decide if you actually like the real them because you may not. We are all flawed and have some pretty good ideas of what those flaws are. In a new relationship, we tend to mask those flaws, but eventually, they come out and once they tend to come out, and once they do, you may find some dealbreakers.

You Need To Have The Hard Conversations

You definitely do want to scare someone off early on by talking about certain topics. But if you are hoping for a relationship to go somewhere serious, the discussions will need to eventually happen. Do they want to get married? Do you want children? Are they religious? What are their political views?

All of their answers to the big questions may be a dealbreaker. Maybe you really want to get married, but they don’t believe in marriage. Or perhaps you have opposing political views, that cause heated debates and arguments. None of these topics are likely discussed early on but may be dealbreakers in the long run.

You Need to Meet Their People

You can learn a lot about someone by meeting the people they choose to have in their life. Some friends and family members can be a huge thorn in a relationship’s side.

You should remember that family is not chosen, but friends are. If he has friends that are big liars and cheaters, that says something about his judgment and may be reflective of what he thinks is okay as well.

Give Time For True Colors To Show

You need to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the rush is. The mask is on early in the relationship and once it comes off you may not like what is beneath them. What is more important to you? Being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone, or finding that special someone you really vibe and connect with and that can be a lasting partnership? You could have both if you are patient, but rushing it may ruin everything.

I am not saying to fight your feelings, but instead give your heart and mind time to assess, because let’s be honest, sometimes the heart gets it wrong. Odds are they are not the one, and you are not in love, but instead infatuated and headed for heartbreak.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you dive headfirst into relationships or do you take your time and have a long courtship? Please share your thoughts and stories!

I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast
I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last
My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past
And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast - Sammy Cahn

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Dating a Coworker? 5 Reasons Workplace Romance Can Get Complicated

We all spend so much of our time at work. Work can be stressful and draining, and honestly sometimes boring. So, when we meet someone at work who makes the mundane workday seem less dull, and more fun and exciting, we may gravitate towards them.

Falling for them may be easy, even if you have a “no dating coworkers” rule. There is just something about them that says, “to hell with my rule”, and that they are worth breaking it. They may be worth it. You never know.

Finding someone is great but in reality, dating someone you work with has far more cons than pros.

Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker

Dating a Coworker Looks Unprofessional

Real life is not Grey’s Anatomy. In reality, it is frowned upon to date coworkers as it is considered unprofessional and tends to create unnecessary drama and distractions in the workplace.

Depending on the profession and workplace, and the positions of those involved, there may be issues of favoritism, nepotism, and unfair labor practices. Basically, it creates a human resources nightmare. Not a good look for someone hoping to move up in the company.

Dating a Coworker Creates Workplace Drama

You and your partner normally go to lunch together, but the day after a fight you are ignoring each other and creating a bit of workplace tension. Relationships naturally have ups and downs but when you also work with your partner it can be very hard to leave the drama at home. Romance and anger are likely to show up in one form or another at work.

Having time apart from a partner is a good thing but when you work together, time apart is challenging, if not impossible.

Other Coworkers Will Be In Your Business

Everyone has an opinion on your relationship. A workplace relationship gets added to the rest of the workplace gossip. Your relationship is under constant scrutiny, with continuous speculation of its status.

Coworkers may take notice that you are no longer taking lunches together, or it may be noticed that one of you is spending a lot of time chatting up the attractive new receptionist.

Your relationship is technically no one’s business, but when you brought your relationship to the workplace, you made it everybody’s business whether you like it or not.

Your Workplace Relationship Won’t Last

Just like any other relationship, the odds of it lasting and them being your forever person is very low. Breakups happen. It is the nature of dating and love to come to an end, but when you work with your ex, the breakup is far more complicated.

You have to continue to be professional and pretend that all is good, even when it is not. You may have coworkers choose sides and decide to not hang out with you anymore. You may also have to watch them move on and date another coworker.

Your Workplace Relationship Is Distracting

Whether you are feeling madly in love with the newness of your relationship, or you two have split and are trying to move on, there is a degree of distraction for both of you in the workplace.

The breakup residuals and pain won’t last forever, but if you are nursing a broken heart, it may make you feel miserable to see them day after day. You may even consider leaving your job in order to distance yourself from them.

I am not saying you cannot successfully date and fall in love with a coworker, but it can be very tricky and may not be worth it in the end. The larger the company the better. Also working in different departments helps negate some coworker relationship issues.

We cannot help who we fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? But avoiding some situations, when possible, may be wise. While we cannot help who we crush on and fall for, we can do things to try to steer the heart in a different direction, such as distancing ourselves and even avoiding that certain someone whenever possible.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated a coworker? What happened? Did it work out and would you ever do it again? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“We started with a simple hello and ended with a complicated goodbye.” - Unknown

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6 Signs You’re Obsessed With Him

Infatuation can happen to anyone at any age in life. Surprisingly it is not just for teens although often associated with a school crush or favorite movie star or boy band. Infatuations can and may happen periodically throughout your entire life.

I think for many of us when we think of infatuation we think of posters on the walls of our teen bedroom or doodling his or her name over and over again in our notebook. But the reality is you could be infatuated with your college professor or the barista at the corner cafe. Or maybe even infatuated with your boss or the nanny. You could even be in a committed relationship and be infatuated with someone.

When you are infatuated with someone you have strong feelings of love or passion for them that make you unable to think clearly or sensibly about them. The keywords to the infatuation definition are clearly and sensibly because we are blinded by their beauty or charm. If you are wondering if you are infatuated, here are the signs to look for.

6 Signs of Infatuation

They are Always on your Mind

The big thing with infatuation is that you cannot stop thinking about that certain person. They are always on your mind. Thoughts of them can be extremely intrusive, and almost like a drug or an addiction, you need a fix. You need to see them. You need to talk to them. You need some sort of interaction to feel better and get that emotional high they give you.

It’s crazy, but when you are infatuated by someone they are somehow always on your mind.

You Feel Sad or Depressed When You Cannot See or Interact With Them

You feel absolutely miserable when you cannot see or speak to the object of your infatuation. You know it is bad when your moods and emotional well-being are negatively impacted by not seeing them or by not talking to them.

This is such an unhealthy place to find yourself. If your infatuation is causing you emotional distress it is time to pull away and let it go if your crush has no interest in you or is unavailable to you. Pining after someone you cannot have is a miserable state to be in and no way to treat yourself. You deserve better.

You Feel Jealous and Possessive of Them

Chances are, you are not in a romantic relationship with the one you are infatuated with, but you wish you were or hope to be. Until that time, in your mind they are yours and you get very jealous at the thought or sight of them with someone you view as a romantic rival.

You feel almost an ownership of the object of your infatuation. You become hurt, sad, and even infuriated by the mere thought of them giving another man or woman attention.

You Think They Are Perfect

You see the object of your infatuation as perfect. You do not see their flaws. You do not really see them. No one is perfect but when it comes to your infatuation you are only seeing what you want to see. They can do no wrong.

You see the gorgeous guy or girl who is super sweet. But that’s it. Your assessment of their character stopped there. There is more to them than their looks and the fantasy life you created in your mind. You just have to be willing to look open your eyes to reality.

You Would Do Anything For Them

There is practically nothing they could ask you to do that you would say no to. You just want to please them. You just want to make them happy. And you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them.

Unfortunately, this tactic almost never works. Being at someone’s beck and call shows a lack of self-worth and self-respect. If you cannot love and respect yourself how can you expect others to love and respect you? Besides, would a truly great person use you and have you at their beck and call?

You Cannot Bear The Thought of Not Having Them

Your infatuation is obsessive. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend you may try to ruin it. You may even stalk them on social media or even in person. All I can say is “do not do it”. It is not worth it. He or she is not worth it. The behavior is not healthy and if they require all this effort they do not deserve you.

If you have made your feelings known and they did not reciprocate you have to let it go and move on. But you take comfort in knowing that you tried but also knowing that you cannot force a relationship. Do not worry, because you know fishes in the sea and all that.

Infatuation usually fades but can just as easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. Believe me, if you are doing any of the six signs above you are not in love. This is a phase. A passing fancy. An infatuation and it will pass. And once it does, you will likely look back and laugh and maybe even ask yourself “what were you thinking” focusing so much time and energy on that person.

What are your thoughts on being infatuated? When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? Did you get the guy or girl? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“Every time he looked at me I felt like I'd touched my tongue to the tip of a battery. In art class I'd watch him lean back and listen and I was nothing but zing and tingle. After a while, the tingle turned to electricity, and when he asked me out my whole body amped to a level where technically I should have been dead. I had nothing in common with a sheddy like him, but a girl doesn't think straight when she's that close to electrocution.” ― Cath Crowley, Graffiti Moon

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Holiday Movies To Watch Right Now On Netflix

Did someone say cheesy, heartwarming, holiday rom-coms? It is that time of year again and if you want easy, stress-free, commercial-free, and yes a Christmas romantic comedy full of cliches, do I have the list for you.

While I love me some Love Actually and have finally conceded that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, don’t judge me, you will find neither on this list. Just sit back with a glass of wine or hot cocoa and enjoy the fun and silliness and yes the somewhat predictable Christmas movie love fest.

Holiday Movies To Watch Right Now On Netflix

Love Hard

An LA girl, unlucky in love, falls for an East Coast guy on a dating app and decides to surprise him for the holidays, only to discover that she's been catfished. This lighthearted romantic comedy chronicles her attempt to reel in love.

This holiday rom-com encompasses all the typical elements and has just the right amount of cuteness and humor, and a little lesson on the perils of online dating. Sometimes people are not who they seem to be.

A Castle for Christmas

To escape a scandal, a bestselling author journeys to Scotland, where she falls in love with a castle - and faces off with the grumpy duke who owns it. - IMBD

It was great to see some familiar faces in this holiday romantic comedy. Think Blue Lagoon and The Princess Bride. Okay maybe that’s taking it back a little too far but you get my point. Holiday romance is not just for twenty-something-year-olds.

Operation Christmas Drop

Congressional aide Erica (Graham) forgoes family Christmas to travel at her boss's behest. At a beachside Air Force base, she clashes with Capt. Andrew Jantz (Ludwig), who knows her assignment is finding reasons to defund the facility. - IMBD

Set in the backdrop of real-life operations that help small pacific islands every year, this fictitious romance is a sweet reminder of the importance of generosity and the true Christmas spirit of giving.

The Holiday

Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. - IMDB

The Holiday came out nearly fifteen years ago, but it’s still fun and relatable, in some ways, and perfect for this time of year.

A Snowbound Christmas

Marketing exec lands a spot on a big project but before the presentation, a snowstorm traps her and her boss at a resort where they realize there is more to their relationship than just business. - IMBD

I believe this originally appeared on Hallmark but nevertheless, this is a sweet, and family-friendly holiday movie.

A Christmas Prince

When a reporter goes undercover as a tutor to get the inside scoop on a playboy prince, she gets tangled in some royal intrigue and ends up finding love - but will she be able to keep up her lie? - IMDB

A Christmas Prince is great for the family to watch together. Very cheesy, and Disney-like but also sweet and heartwarming. It is actually a trilogy now, so you can also watch A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding and A Christmas Prince: A Royal Baby.

Holidate

Fed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way. - IMDB

This was a surprisingly entertaining rom-com. This is funny and cute but it is not family-friendly due to language and content.

The Holiday Calendar

A struggling but talented photographer inherits an antique holiday advent calendar, the contents of which seem to predict the future. Will this magical calendar lead her to love this holiday season?

I love the magical elements added to this holiday story. This is another family-friendly Christmas movie that everyone can sit down together and watch.

Some of these are old and some of these are new but they are all perfect for this time of year to curl up on the couch and watch. Or to just enjoy as you wrap gifts or relax. I have watched them all and hope you give a couple or all of them a try too! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

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5 Signs He’s Playing Mind Games

Mind games are relationship manipulations that keep you both mentally and emotionally off balance. Mind games are usually about feeding the ego. In order to feed the ego, a guy who plays mind games will string you along for as long as possible, because you know, it’s all about him.

Mind games are cruel and misleading and are far too common in the dating world. It’s not only about ego, it can also be about control and self-preservation but playing mind games can lead to people really getting hurt. No one wants to be led on or toyed with.

To protect yourself, it’s important to know if you are being played so you don’t get hurt. Here are the signs to look for to know if he is playing mind games.

5 Signs He’s Playing Mind Games

He’s Hot and Cold

Sometimes it’s all about you. He is giving you lots of attention and affection and making you feel special. You actually start to believe that this could be something real between the two of you.

Just when you were starting to let your guard down and catch feelings he starts giving you the cold shoulder and it’s like you do not exist. He basically stops calling or texting. He doesn’t even really return your calls or texts or take forever to respond if he does. And if he sees you out and about he will barely acknowledge you and instead force you to create an interaction with him.

This is a huge power play and mind game tactic. He is showing you he’s in control of this relationship and can stop dealing with you whenever he wants without a care in the world.

He Disappears

He was calling or coming around all the time, and then suddenly nothing. He basically ghosts you temporarily. Then he reappears as if nothing happened. Why did he do this? Well, because he can and because he’s testing you and playing mind games. But in the process, he may have got you thinking you did something wrong or said something wrong. He made you question yourself.

His motivation? He wants to see just how easily you are manipulated and how desperate you are to have him. These are huge red flags and a major power play on his part.

He Tells What You Want To Hear

He says the right things but his actions seemed to be the opposite. You ask if he is seeing other people and he denies it or dodges the question completely. You have seen him with other girls but he says they are just friends even though there are tons of rumors about him being an untrustworthy player.

He tells you that you are special to him and says he cares for you but after spending time with him you often feel used and more like a side chick or booty call than a potential mate or girlfriend.

He’s Seeing Other Girls

In his defense, I guess, he may have made it clear that you are not the only one he’s seeing or that he has a lot of female friends. But when you are together he lays it on thick, making you feel like he is really into you and that he has strong feelings for you. Which is confusing because how could he be this way with you and have feelings for others too, right?

That is the mind game part. That is the player playing you and reeling you in. Guys who do this are not falling for you, and they do not have romantic feelings for you. They are grooming you to reciprocate a false love story they have created to get what they want from you and keep you waiting in the wings.

Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

He dangles a future with him. If you were a little sexier, or your boobs were bigger, or if you were just skinnier he could see a future with you. He always manages to make you feel like you are not good enough for him. Like you will never be good enough for him.

But he gives you just enough attention and romance to make you want to be enough to truly win him over. This is him playing on your self-esteem issues. This is playing mind games. This is him slowly tearing you down. Now ask yourself, is this really a guy you want a future with.

At the end of the day, it should not come down to how hot he is or how much money he has but how he treats you and how he makes you feel about him and you.

Here’s the thing, if a guy is playing mind games he already knows that he is really not that into you. But that won’t stop him from using you when he is lonely or needs to feel good about himself. If he really cared about you he would not make you feel so confused or like you are less than all of the time. You deserve better than a guy who plays mind games with you.

What are your thoughts on dealing with a man playing games? Do you agree with my list? How do you handle a guy playing mind games? Do you play them right back or bounce? What is your experience? Please share!

“In a narcissist's world, you are not their one and only. You are an extension of that person and last place in their mind, while they secure back up narcissistic supply.” ― Shannon L. Alder

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Gender Roles In Marriage...Is "Taming" A Woman Still A Thing?

This topic came to mind as I was watching the series Miss Scarlet and The Duke. The series combines both elements of mystery and the classic undertones of a slow-burn romance. Set in a time when women were second-class citizens and men were in charge, women were expected to be passive, unopinionated, and to follow the man’s lead.

Depending on the country you live in or your religious affiliation not much may have changed. However, from my American woman's point of view, everything has changed. But if that’s the case why do so many relationships seem to struggle with gender roles and expectations from the female partner?

I suppose it’s not necessarily so much about taming a woman as it is about domesticating her and reverting a modern woman to a housewife from yesteryears. Let’s discuss.

Young single women often ask the question of what do men want. What are men looking for in a potential mate? Here’s what men say they are looking for in a potential mate.

• Attractive

• Nice and Kind

• Intelligent

• Independent

• Easy to Be With

Notice how good cook, housekeeper, and mommy material are not the priorities stated by men when most are looking for mates. But somewhere along the way expectations and desired attributes seem to change.

Modern relationships start off with two young adults dating and getting married and possibly starting a family. Both were independent individuals prior to the nuptials with their own dreams and goals, yet once rings are on their fingers expectations and relationship roles slowly start to change.

Although this was a “modern” relationship, traditional roles and behaviors slowly rear their ugly heads. At first, it may seem cute cooking dinner every night for your man, and doing the laundry, and all the other domestic stuff but then you say, “Hey, wait a minute, I work too, so why am I doing everything?”

Did you know that women, whether you are a stay-at-home or work outside the home, do most of the cooking, house cleaning, and child care? According to one study by Oxfam and the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women spend two more hours each day on housework and child care.

Whether you work from home, are a stay-at-home mom, or work outside of the home, balance in household and child-rearing responsibilities is important for not only your relationship but your own mental and emotional well-being.

If you are feeling overburdened and unsupported, discuss it with your partner and do not allow resentment and frustrations to grow and fester. Communicate and let your feelings be known.

What are your thoughts on taming women and how we can go from independent women to domesticated homemakers by simply saying “I do”? Please share your thoughts. Do you disagree? What has been your experience? Please share!

“Stop making excuses for them. … They have eyes! They can see that the toilet paper roll needs changing and the wastebasket is full and that there is no more orange juice and we drink orange juice and orange juice is sold in grocery stores. They’ve trained themselves not to notice things because the less they notice the more we’ll just take care of it for them. They say, you should have told me you wanted my help when we had twelve people coming over for dinner! You should have told me not to sit in front of the computer looking at football scores while you’re running around doing everything by yourself. If you needed my help why didn’t you ask for it? I didn’t know you needed help. It’s madness.” ― Jeanne Ray, Calling Invisible Women

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What Do When You Have Fallen Out Of Love With Your Significant Other

You promised forever but your heart is no longer in it. Perhaps you cannot pinpoint the moment you fell out of love with your significant other, or perhaps you actually can, but either way, the feelings are gone and you are torn about what to do.

It may surprise you, but romantic love in relationships can be cyclical. Yep, it’s true. Over the course of a long-term relationship, you may fall in and out of love with your partner, many times. Or you may fall out of love and are never able to get that loving, romantic feeling back.

You have some choices to make if or when you find yourself in this situation.

What To Do When You Have Fallen Out Of Love

Make An Effort To Reconnect

Sometimes we fall out of love because we sort of forget about one another. We get so busy with other things in life like work or children that we forget to nurture one of our most important relationships.

If you notice a lack of connection with your partner, it is important to try to get your relationship and your connection to one another back on track. You can reconnect by talking and listening to one another. Or by doing things together that require conversation and interaction.

So no plopping down on the couch in front of the television. Try going out for a nice dinner or just on a walk together, and build up to a trip with just the two of you. Spending time together will either help make you closer or help you make a decision about ending things.

Become Friends

As I have said many times before, friendship, true friendship is the real foundation of a long-lasting, loving relationship. We trust our friends, we depend on our friends, and we confide in our friends.

It is important to be that safe place for each other. If you were never friends, this may be a good time to explore a friendship with each other and see where that takes you. People in relationships fall in and out of love, but having a friendship with one another can get you through that lull in love.

Self-Reflect

You need to figure out what has changed. Has your partner changed or have you changed? Has your partner committed an unforgivable deal breaker?

Self-reflection is an important tool to use in deciding where do you go from here. Do you no longer want to be married, are you struggling mentally and emotionally, or do you think the relationship has run its course?

You may not like the conclusion you come to after reflecting on how you got to this place, but it knowing the answer will help you move forward, either with your partner or alone.

Relationship Counseling

Counseling can help, especially if you have identified a cause for your change of heart but still want to work things out. Of course, your partner also has to be a willing participant for couple’s counseling to work, but either way, it is worth a shot.

You may also want to consider individual counseling. Counseling just for you will assist with some much-needed self-reflection and will help you process your feelings and emotions about no longer being in love with your partner.

Relationships are work. Some relationships are hard work. And some relationships are not worth the work. At the end of the day, only you can decide if the relationship is worth fighting for. Is it worth the work and effort you need to put in to make things better or do you just want to be done and move on with your life? It’s a difficult decision but and a necessary one if you are no longer in love.

What are your thoughts on handling a relationship when you have fallen out of love? Do you agree with my recommendations? What would you do? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“The way I see it, you mostly stop loving a person the same way you stop respecting them. It can happen all at once if something enormous and terrible falls over the two of you. But for the most part, it happens in inches. In a thousand tiny moments of contempt that unravel the image you had of the person you thought you knew.”
― Sarah Gailey, The Echo Wife

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