Summer 2022 Streaming Watch List
It’s summertime and the perfect time of year to go on vacation or to just get out and about to the beach or the pool. But on those days when it’s just too hot outside, or for the nights you want to stay in, kick back with your favorite streaming service and enjoy some great shows.
For the month of July 2022, I am providing a list of a few older shows, and some newly returned shows to indulge in and binge-watch this month.
Here’s What to Watch This Summer
Stranger Things
When a young boy disappears, his mother, a police chief, and his friends must confront terrifying supernatural forces in order to get him back. - IMDB
Season 4 of Stranger Things just premiered this summer on Netflix. It’s dark, it’s nostalgic, and it’s fun. Watch all seasons 4 now and get caught up on the upside down.
Westworld
At the intersection of the near future and the reimagined past, waits a world in which every human appetite can be indulged without consequence. - IMDB
Westworld is a little bit of everything. It’s a mix of sci-fi, action, and mystery all packed into this beautifully shot show. New episodes of season 4 of Westworld are currently airing on HBO on Sunday nights. You can catch up on all prior seasons on HBO Max.
Anatomy of a Scandal
A sexual consent scandal amongst British privileged elite and the women caught up in its wake. - IMDB
This is a great limited series, that has a nice twist at the end. It’s the perfect binge show for a lazy Saturday, and it will leave thinking about people and perceptions. Available now on Netflix.
The Staircase
Tells the story of Michael Peterson, a crime novelist accused of killing his wife Kathleen after she is found dead at the bottom of a staircase in their home, and the 16-year judicial battle that followed. - IMDB
I originally learned of this story a few years after watching the Netflix documentary. This current production is a HBO limited series, with an all star cast. Very interesting, true crime story that leaves you asking yourself if you believe in coincidence.
The Gilded Age
A wide-eyed young scion of a conservative family embarks on a mission to infiltrate the wealthy neighboring clan dominated by ruthless railroad tycoon George Russell, his rakish son, Larry, and his ambitious wife, Bertha. - IMDB
I absolutely loved The Gilded Age and cannot wait to see where the story ultimately goes. If you love period pieces, costumes, and great drama, you will love this show. Season 1 is currently available on HBO Max.
Slow Horse
Follows a team of British intelligence agents who serve as a dumping ground department of MI5 due to their career-ending mistakes. -IMDB
Slow Horse is for the viewer who loves a spy drama. The cast is great, and the story is intriguing. Reminds me of the first Mission Impossible. I recommend it. Watch now on Apple TV.
Persuasion
Eight years after Anne Elliot was persuaded not to marry a dashing man of humble origins, they meet again. Will she seize her second chance at true love? -IMDB
Persuasion premieres on Netflix on July 15th. This is for the Jane Austen lovers, who love the yearn and burn romances.
The Boys
A group of vigilantes set out to take down corrupt superheroes who abuse their superpowers. - IMDB
The Boys is violent, vulgar, offensive, and deliciously fun and entertaining to watch. It is not for everyone, but these superheroes give a different take on how a world full of people with superpowers might be. Season 4 just premiered on Amazon Prime Video. Watch all 4 seasons now on Amazon.
Shining Girls
Years after a brutal attack left her in a constantly shifting reality, Kirby Mazrachi learns that a recent murder is linked to her assault. She teams with a veteran reporter to understand her ever-changing present and confront her past. - IMDB
This series is a mystery, crime, and sci-fi all wrapped into one. The show and the acting are great. I highly recommend it. Watch now on Apple TV.
The Umbrella Academy
A family of former child heroes, now grown apart, must reunite to continue to protect the world. -IMDB
Season 3 of The Umbrella Academy just premiered on Netflix. Season 3 is just as fun and silly as ever, with a new problem for the group to resolve. All seasons are now streaming on Netflix
I’m a multi-tasker so I love to pop on a good show and fold laundry, stretch, or just walk on my treadmill. I hope you enjoy my recommendations and have a great summer!
The Self Fulfilling Prophecy of Getting Dumped: The 5 Reasons Why They Left You
Some relationships were never meant to last, and deep down we always knew it. We want to be happy and enjoy the relationship, but we cannot get the negative thoughts out of our heads which tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-fulfilling prophecy is also known as the interpersonal expectancy effect.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is the psychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something, and this "prediction" or expectation coming true simply because the person believes or anticipates it will and the person's resulting behaviors align to fulfill the belief. Wikipedia
The sad thing about self-fulfilling prophecies is that our behaviors play a huge part in the outcome of situations, in this case, relationships. When you had doubts, you acted out, and possibly changed the trajectory of your relationship, and drove them away.
Here’s Why They Left You
You Are Insecure
Confidence is sexy, and insecurity is…well, unsexy. Your lack of confidence in yourself makes you feel insecure in your relationship, which makes you behave clingy and possessive. No matter how many times your partner tells you they love you, they find you attractive, and that they think you are wonderful, you continue to seek more and more validation, which is annoying and drives them away.
Your insecurity is a turnoff. If you do not believe you are worthy of love, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?
You Are Jealous
A certain level of jealousy is normal, but you freak out if your partner smiles at the attractive bartender or waitress. You are checking their phone, tracking their whereabouts, and constantly grilling on their comings and goings. They wanted a partner, not a parent.
If they give attention to anyone other than you, it puts you in a mood and you punish them for it later by ignoring them or withholding affection or intimacy.
Ultimately, behavior like this ends with the opposite of the intended effect.
You Are Controlling
Controlling partners make their mates miserable. Relationships are supposed to be about compromise, but it has to be your way all the time. You want to decide where you live, who you are friends with, where you eat, what you eat. It all has to be your because you believe if you can control them, and control the relationship, they will stay with you.
Unfortunately, when you try to control your partner, you only motivate them to want to leave you and take back control of their life.
You Are Mean
Our fears can manifest themselves in many ways, anger and meanness are a couple of examples. You fear losing your partner, which makes you angry and resentful of them for “making” you feel that way. Instead of recognizing the emotion for what it is, lashing out and meanness occur.
You become insulting and short-tempered with them, and may even betray them because you feel entitled to because you suspect they will eventually leave you.
You Checked Out of the Relationship
Hurt them before they hurt you may be your philosophy, which is terrible, self-destructive, and doesn’t actually prevent you from getting hurt. It just ensures you always end up alone.
Relationships require work and maintenance to function. When someone emotionally checks out of a relationship, they stop being a supportive partner. They stop trying. If you emotionally check out of a relationship you may stop doing both the big and the little things that made your partner feel cared for and valued. Once you check out, you ensure the demise of your relationship.
It takes a lot of self-analysis and self-awareness to recognize when you are unintentionally sabotaging your relationship and creating the self-fulfilling prophecy that will lead to your partner dumping you. This blog gives you examples of what not to do if you are worried about being hurt and being dumped.
You have to remember, just like you chose them, they chose you, as you are. They chose you with your looks, your income, your intellect, your body, and your brain. Yes, some relationships will not work out., but a successful or a failed relationship does not determine your value. You are good enough, but not everything is meant to be.
What are your thoughts on self-fulfilling prophecies? Any experience with ruining a relationship because you were worried your partner would break things off? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker
6 Signs Of Love Bombing... What Is Love Bombing and Why You Need To Stay Away From Love Bombers
Love bombing is a newer term for an old tactic. A Prince Charming or Fairy Princess comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet. They give you everything you thought you wanted in a relationship and more. They make you feel loved and special and seen. They seem almost perfect. Almost too good to be true.
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. - Wikipedia
Love bombing is so effective because it plays into our fantasies of what romance and relationships should be. The hope of finding your one true love and the person who just gets you. The problem is that love bombers hide behind tactics to deceive and make their victims believe that they are different from the other men and women in their past and offer something special and unique as a partner. In reality, they are terrible mates and have very little to offer a partner in the long run.
6 Signs of Love Bombing
Rushes The Relationship
After two dates, they are declaring their love for you and want to move in together. They want to meet your friends and family right away even though you two are still getting to know one another. They say you are soulmates and insist you two are meant to be.
You may even hear them spout the term, “when you know, you know” to justify the fast-moving relationship, and the demands they are making of you.
Excessive Attention
A love bomber will give you more attention than you ever had from any other romantic partner before. They will want you to spend all of your time with them. If they are not with you, they are texting, calling, and yes even tracking your whereabouts.
Excessive Affection
A love bomber cannot get enough of you. They will want to constantly kiss you, hold you, and be intimate with you. They do not respect boundaries. You are not one for public displays of affection but they will want to stake their claim on you for everyone else to see.
Lots of Gifts
A love bomber is very generous. They are overly generous actually, and right from the start. Dinners, flowers, trips, and lots and lots of gifts. They are sending flowers to your place of work so everyone can see. They will take you out on expensive dates, and they will buy you gifts and jewelry that is inappropriate for the stage of your relationship.
They are luring you in with a false promise of their generosity and giving nature when in all actuality they are the opposite. They are actually selfish.
Puts You On A Pedestal
A love bomber will tell you how wonderful and perfect you are, but also make you feel like they are the only one who appreciates you and sees your worth. They will make you feel like a hero but also like your value is attached to them and your relationship with them.
Acts As Your Protector
We all want to feel protected when we are vulnerable, but a love bomber will make you feel like there is a boogie man behind every corner and only they can protect you. Suddenly, they are convincing you that everyone is the enemy, including your family and friends.
They only want you to trust them. They will try to convince you that people you have known long before them are untrustworthy and manipulative, and want you to cut them out of your life for your own good.
Love bombers are really just your standard manipulative narcissists. They seem different than anyone else you have ever known before, at first. But as the mask slips away, and you peel back the layers, you may find that you have been duped. All of the above signs are red flags and the classic bait and switch tactics of love bombers.
What are your thoughts on love bombing? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get away from that situation? Please share your story!
If you are a survivor of abuse, please find help at Helping Survivors.org.
“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy, something that's often described by survivors as a kind of 'love-bombing'. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”
― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence
Check out the recent Apartment Guide article I was featured in:
10 Expert Tips To Help You Build A Sick Day Kit | ApartmentGuide.com
Nothing is worse than waking up in the morning and feeling under the weather. Whether you're sniffling or experiencing flu-like symptoms, you're going to want to have necessities on hand to help you feel better faster. This is why you should build a sick day kit, so it's ready when you need it. To help you get started, Apartment Guide reached out to us and other experts for our best advice on building a helpful sick day kit.
“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish proverb
Here's Why Some Women Make Men Nervous
It goes without saying that some women have an out of this world effect on some, if not most men. She walks into the room or just makes eye contact with men and they become nervous. But why do they become nervous? It is about attraction or intimidation?
Strong, confident, and powerful women are forces to be reckoned with, and it takes a special type of man to handle all that she is. Confidence is often said to be sexy., but it is not just about the physical aspect of her effect.
Here’s Why Some Women Make Men Nervous
She’s A Boss
She’s a boss. I mean she may literally be the actual work boss. She is in charge, sure of herself, and has power over the people who work for her.
Or maybe she’s an independent woman handling her business, either way, her mere presence is commanding. A boss woman may make some men feel unneeded, unaccomplished, and unworthy. She brings out their insecurities.
They Are Drawn To Her
Men are drawn to her. Whether or not they find her beautiful or sexy, there is just something about her that makes some men nervous in her presence. Her confidence and independence are sexy.
This woman is sure of herself and knows that she can get what she wants and knows how to go about doing it.
She Unintentionally Emasculates Them
She does not do it on purpose, but she tends to emasculate some men. Some men have fragile egos that constantly need stroking, and some women make it clear that they do not need a man for anything. She does not want his help and does not need his help, but is all fine and dandy, but it can make a man feel useless and less than.
She Is Very Open and Direct
She is very open and direct. When a woman knows herself and knows what she wants she may be very opinionated, very demanding, and very forward in her approach to men. She is not one to sit back and let life happen to her.
She takes charge. She goes after the career she wants and the men she wants.
She Is Unpredictable
She is unpredictable. She will keep you on your toes. She is not like other women. Sometimes she is soft and other times she is hard. She is passionate and then she is disinterested.
She does not care what anyone else thinks. She knows her mind and expresses her thoughts and opinions when it suits her.
Women who make men nervous play by their own rules. They do not let society dictate how they act and how they handle situations and life in general. She can be all things, and most importantly, she is completely comfortable being herself.
What are your thoughts on women who make some men nervous? Are you that woman? Are you a man who has met these women? Does this type attract or repel? Please share your thoughts and experience with being this woman or being attracted to her!
"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." - Audre Lorde
5 Effective Ways To Co-Parent
Co-parenting can be challenging whether or not you are in a romantic relationship or are no longer together as a couple. Co-parenting takes understanding, patience, and mutual respect to do it effectively.
Children can be healthy and happy, even if their parents are not together and divorced, but in order for that to happen, both parents have to work together and be willing to meet their counterpart halfway. Advice is always easier said than done, but I think we can all agree that when it comes to our children, the effort is always worth it. Here are 5 effective ways to co-parent.
5 Ways To Effectively Co-Parent
Communicate
Great communication is always essential when it comes to any relationship, but even more so for two individuals to work together for a common goal. Co-parenting requires both parents to share their thoughts and feeling about the children and to listen to their counterparts.
A happy, healthy, and successful co-parenting relationship comes down to good communication.
Keep It About the Children
Whether you are madly in love with your partner or still hurting from a painful split, your parenting decisions should be about the children and their well-being. Parenting choices should not be about the other parent.
You may be dealing with a new boyfriend or girlfriend in your ex’s life, or perhaps they have even married, which may cause you some heartache or anger for you. But remember the beautiful child or children you two share. It is important to not use the children to control, manipulate, or punish the other parent.
Be Kind To Each Other
You should not intentionally undermine or try to usurp the other parent’s parental authority. This rule really comes into play if the relationship is going through challenging times or the parents are no longer together.
Choose kindness, if not for the other person you once cared about, then do it for your children. The children will benefit from the positive co-parenting relationship.
Be Willing To Compromise
When it comes to our children, there may some non-negotiables in regards to the rules you lay down. Whether you are a couple or no longer together, you are likely aligned one hundred percent on every issue in regards to your children.
Whether it’s about the food they are allowed to eat, how much television they get or the activities they participate in, there is bound to be some conflict. It is okay for there to be disagreements and different points of view but be willing to see other parents’ side of things and don’t dig your heels if you really do not have an issue with their parenting call. Be willing to talk it out and come to a consensus.
Present A United Front
Strive to always present a united front. It’s a bad idea to make your children think they can pit you two against one another in order to get their way. As sweet and wonderful as our children are, they will play you and your partner if it means they can get their way. Do not be fooled into thinking your little angel is above it.
To avoid this trap, discuss parenting disagreements outside of your children’s presence, and do not try to score the “cool parent” points by going against the other parent’s wishes outside their presence. This will only backfire on you in the end.
Parenting is not easy. Children do not come with a handbook and mistakes will be made. There is no magic formula to raising perfect children. All we can do as a parent is do our best, with the best intentions.
What are your thoughts on co-parenting? Do you agree with my advice? What advice would you give others? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“At the end of the day, you’ve got to be a little selfless. You have to say ‘It’s not about us. This didn’t work out quite how we wanted it to, but look at the amazing blessing that we have in these wonderful children.’ So you kinda put everything else to the side and really focus.” – Nick Cannon
Rushing Love?...5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
Dating is one thing but falling in love ups the ante. When it comes to love many will say, “when you know, you know’” And that saying applies in some cases, but in most cases, not so much. In the early stages of romantic relationships, our heads tend to be in the clouds.
You may be thinking how in the world do I fall in love slowly, or saying “I cannot help how I feel”. To which I say, you have more control than you think you do. I am not saying for you to not to fall in love, I am just suggesting that you give time and space for the rational thoughts to come into play.
5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
You Need To Get To Know Them
Falling in love with a stranger is a dangerous act. It is completely possible that this new person is your forever person and soulmate, but in the beginning, it is too early to tell. You don’t know them, and won’t know them for a while, despite how connected you feel to them.
In the first year or two, the masks are still on. Over time people will let down their guards and show you the real them. The real them is the person you want to base your decisions on, not who they pretended to be to charm you and win you over.
You Need Time To Assess
Once you have gotten to know them to some degree, now you need to figure out if you are compatible in the long run. It takes time to get to know someone. Getting to know someone is not a process that can be rushed, no matter how great they seem.
You will also need time to decide if you actually like the real them because you may not. We are all flawed and have some pretty good ideas of what those flaws are. In a new relationship, we tend to mask those flaws, but eventually, they come out and once they tend to come out, and once they do, you may find some dealbreakers.
You Need To Have The Hard Conversations
You definitely do want to scare someone off early on by talking about certain topics. But if you are hoping for a relationship to go somewhere serious, the discussions will need to eventually happen. Do they want to get married? Do you want children? Are they religious? What are their political views?
All of their answers to the big questions may be a dealbreaker. Maybe you really want to get married, but they don’t believe in marriage. Or perhaps you have opposing political views, that cause heated debates and arguments. None of these topics are likely discussed early on but may be dealbreakers in the long run.
You Need to Meet Their People
You can learn a lot about someone by meeting the people they choose to have in their life. Some friends and family members can be a huge thorn in a relationship’s side.
You should remember that family is not chosen, but friends are. If he has friends that are big liars and cheaters, that says something about his judgment and may be reflective of what he thinks is okay as well.
Give Time For True Colors To Show
You need to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the rush is. The mask is on early in the relationship and once it comes off you may not like what is beneath them. What is more important to you? Being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone, or finding that special someone you really vibe and connect with and that can be a lasting partnership? You could have both if you are patient, but rushing it may ruin everything.
I am not saying to fight your feelings, but instead give your heart and mind time to assess, because let’s be honest, sometimes the heart gets it wrong. Odds are they are not the one, and you are not in love, but instead infatuated and headed for heartbreak.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you dive headfirst into relationships or do you take your time and have a long courtship? Please share your thoughts and stories!
I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast
I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last
My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past
And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast - Sammy Cahn
What To Watch on Netflix in March 2022
There is always something new to entertain and delight from one streaming service or another. February was a great month for the return of some of our favorite shows, and March is shaping up to be even better.
I love a good binge-worthy show, and my recommendations all have two seasons with the exception of The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window and Murderville, which have just one season but are ridiculously binge-worthy. All my picks for March are light, fun, and not too heavy.
I have five recommendations for you and I think you will enjoy them all.
What To Watch On Netflix March 2022
The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window
When a handsome neighbor moves in across the street, Anna, a heartbroken woman for whom every day is the same, starts to see a light at the end of the tunnel. That is until she witnesses a gruesome murder - Or did she? - IMDB
I binged this show over a weekend. It’s weird, suspenseful, and kept wondering what the heck was going on. I didn’t know whether or not to take it seriously, although the strange title should have clued me in. The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window is a spoof of several other recent movies but is funny because it makes fun of some of the unbelievably silly plots of the other movies.
Kristen Bell is great and makes this series worth watching. I highly recommend it, but it should be noted this is not family friendly programming.
Bridgerton Season 2
Wealth, lust, and betrayal set against the backdrop of Regency-era England, seen through the eyes of the powerful Bridgerton family. - IMDB
I read all the Julia Quinn books years ago that this series is based on. Season 2 of Bridgerton follows Julia’s second book on the series, The Viscount Who Loved Me. Season 1 was very hot and sexy and I would imagine we are in the same treatment for season two.
Season 2 premieres on Friday, March 25th.
Sweet Magnolia Season 2
Three South Carolina women, best friends since high school, shepherd one another through the complexities of romance, career, and family. - IMDB
Season 1 left viewers on a cliffhanger and Season 2 picks right up on the same night. Sweet Magnolia is wholesome viewing and feels like it would fit right in on The Hallmark Channel. It is entertaining, and relatable for the most part. This is easy binge programming and enjoyable, with Season 2 ending on another cliffhanger.
There is no smooth sailing for the women of Sweet Magnolia. Available now on Netflix.
Murderville
Eccentric detective Terry Seattle teams up with clueless celebrity guest stars to investigate a series of murders in this improvisational crime comedy.
Murdervile is quirky and funny, with an interesting concept. I loved watching the guests improv as they try to assist in solving crimes in the most ridiculous fashion.
Murderville is available now on Netflix.
Space Force
The people tasked with creating a sixth branch of the armed services: The Space Force. - IMDB
It is hard to believe that Space Force is actually a real thing, but it is. Hopefully, its employees are a bit more competent. Steve Carell is as funny and quirky as ever, with John Malkovich being weird and hilarious. If you like The Office you will like Space Force.
There are two seasons to binge and belly laugh at. Space Force is available now on Netflix.
This Netflix watch list is meant to be light-hearted and fun. I hope you enjoy my recommendations and come back and share your thoughts with me. Tell me what you about the shows and share your own recommendations. Happy viewing!
The Writer and the Billionaire: A Novel
Searching for your next summer read? Look no further than my new novel The Writer and the Billionaire.
The Writer and the Billionaire is the story of Sascha Gills, a newly divorced writer whose life changes forever when she is swept off her feet by the charming, handsome, and spectacularly rich Devon Montague. But it’s not all smooth sailing—and someone from Sascha’s past seems determined to keep it that way. As Sascha and Devon’s relationship is tested by struggle and heartbreak, can they persist and ultimately triumph in love?
Here is your sneak peek!
Chapter 1
Sascha sat staring at the paper she had just signed. Her marriage was officially over! She had not been single in over eleven years, but six months ago she’d woken one morning and realized that she was not happy and had not been for the last five years. She did not want to be married to Lucas anymore. She needed a fresh start.
Lucas had been her college sweetheart and at the time seemed to be her soul mate. Thinking back on her naivete made Sascha giggle slightly, feeling a little silly for even believing in soul mates.
Hearing her giggle, her husband and his lawyer looked up at her from across the table. In an irritated tone, her now ex-husband said, “Is there something about this that you find amusing?”
His voice snapped her from her thoughts and wiped the little smile from her face. Her first impulse was to say that she didn’t find anything funny, but after a second thought, she decided not to bite her tongue any further.
“You know, actually I do find something funny. I find it funny that I ever thought this pathetic excuse for a marriage could have lasted. And even funnier than that is the fact that I let a sorry excuse for a man like you make me feel bad about myself for so long. The truth of the matter is that I deserved better than you, and you know it.”
“Oh, please, get off your high horse. You weren’t exactly the most loving, supportive wife. I am the one that deserves better,” he responded, not surprisingly.
Sascha rolled her eyes and looked down at her vibrating cell phone. A no-caller-ID caller again. She reminded herself that she really needed to get a new phone number.
Handing the papers back to her lawyer, Sascha stood up and said her final words to Lucas. “When are you going to stop blaming others for your failures? You know what? Don’t bother answering that. I can say that I am done being your excuse for never succeeding. I truly hope that someday you find your way and can become the man that you have always wanted to be.”
When Sascha walked out of that conference room, she felt as if a weight had been lifted. Sure, she was thirty-four, almost thirty-five actually, and was starting over, but she wasn’t scared. She was excited, in fact. To be honest, she had not felt this type of exhilaration since her college volleyball days. Sascha had once been one of the country’s top volleyball players and could have gone pro, but instead, she chose a simpler life with Lucas. After graduating from the University of Southern California’s MBA program, Lucas and Sascha both got jobs with financial firms and moved to San Francisco to start their lives together.
Sascha had grown up in a middle-class area in a Northern California town and was happy to be somewhat close to her family again. She thought that Lucas was happy too, but nothing ever seemed to make him happy. Not his job, not their sex life, and certainly not his wife. While Sascha had quickly found success at her investment firm, Lucas seemed to have trouble holding a job. He always quit or was fired for one reason or another. Of course, it was never his fault. His bosses were always jerks who picked on him, or Sascha was putting too much pressure on him or not supporting him. Never were his troubles his own doing—not his bad attitude, and certainly not his lack of competence.
When he began to become depressed, Sascha did everything she could to get him out of his slump. Nothing worked, and of course he refused counseling at that time, both individual counseling for himself and marriage counseling for the both of them.
One day Sascha went to him with an idea that she thought would solve all their problems. She suggested that they open up an investment firm. She had a wonderful client roster, many of whom she was sure would more than happily follow her if she left her current powerhouse firm of Chase & Sanders.
To Sascha’s surprise, Lucas was immediately receptive to the idea, and they quickly got to work on this new venture. At first it seemed like Lucas was truly happy with her and things were getting better, but that was just wishful thinking on her part.
They rented a small office in a downtown building with a monthly rent that was more than twice their monthly mortgage, but Sascha wanted—no, needed—to believe it would pay off and be worth it in the long run. Fortunately, Sascha had been able to put away quite the little nest egg thanks to large commissions she had received at her old job, but she was still a little concerned about leaving her safety net at Chase & Sanders. Despite her concerns, she knew she needed to do this for Lucas, and for the sake of their marriage.
She had been right about many of her clients choosing to follow her, but it was not long before she saw what many of Lucas’s previous bosses had seen. He gave his clients the worst financial advice, encouraging them to make risky, damn near irresponsible investment decisions, even causing one of their clients to lose more than $5 million in one week.
In a matter of six months, Lucas had ruined their business and destroyed Sascha’s reputation as a financial adviser. They had gone through all their savings and had gotten into horrible financial debt. They were close to losing their home when Michael, an old friend of Sascha’s from college, helped them out, unbeknownst to Lucas, who would have flat out refused the help. Sascha felt a little guilty about keeping Michael’s aid from Lucas, but she had already lost so much because of his poor judgment she refused to lose anything else, especially her home.
Michael Ghant had made it big in the software and tech business. He offered Sascha a job as a CFO at his company and a generous starting bonus, which more than caught them up on their mortgage and other delinquent bills. It was shocking and disappointing to Sascha that Lucas, with his education and training, was so completely oblivious to his financial problems. And sadly, worse than him being oblivious was that maybe he just didn’t care anymore.
When Sascha began working for Michael, he made his feelings for her very clear, and she made it very clear to him that she would honor her marriage vows. Being the gentleman that he was, Michael accepted her rejection graciously but made it known to her that he felt she deserved so much more than an unhappy marriage to a selfish, cruel man.
During the course of her marriage, Sascha had gained over fifty pounds and lost all her self-confidence. Once upon a time, she had been a confident, athletic, smart, attractive woman, but Lucas had taken all of that away. As the pounds came on, so did his insults and his reasoning for being unfaithful. As far as she knew, he had been unfaithful at least twice during their marriage, but deep down she knew there had been other infidelities. Just like the cliché, the first woman was a twentysomething girl named Rebecca who was a secretary at a financial firm Lucas once worked for. He told Sascha that it only happened a couple of times and that it meant nothing. Sascha, wanting to believe him, forgave him quickly and foolishly commended him for his honesty, even though there was unlikely an honest bone in his body.
The second affair that came to Sascha’s attention was not so easily forgiven. After years of fighting to make their marriage work, Sascha decided that they needed marriage counseling. At first Lucas refused, but Sascha told him that if they didn’t get help soon, she could not see them staying married. He actually looked fearful at that statement. At the time, Sascha believed that look was about fear of losing her, but later she realized that it had likely been more about losing his cash cow.
Sascha decided to seek the counseling services of a college pal of hers, a woman by the name of Gina Campbell. Gina was very attractive, with her petite frame, long black hair, and olive skin. Standing next to Gina’s five-foot-two frame, Sascha felt like an extremely insecure giant.
Apparently, Gina had never married, which was surprising to Sascha, considering all the boy drama she’d always had in college. Gina was the girl who always had to have a boyfriend—yours or her own, it didn’t matter. She was the girl who had no qualms about sleeping with someone else’s guy and stealing your man. In fact, she seemed to enjoy the challenge.
Of course, Gina’s behavior caused many problems with the other girls in their group and on campus, but Sascha always felt sorry for her. For someone to behave the way Gina did, she must have been terribly insecure and sad inside. Plus, Sascha didn’t feel threatened by Gina. Try as she might—and she tried hard—Gina just couldn’t steal Sascha’s boyfriend Colin.
Colin was Sascha’s college boyfriend before Lucas, whom was tragically killed during his and Sascha’s junior year, by a hit-and-run driver. Sascha was heartbroken by his death but eventually moved on when she met Lucas. Colin had been such a kindhearted, sweet guy. The loss of Colin changed everyone in their circle of friends.
Fast-forward ten years, and Gina Campbell was now a well-respected marriage counselor, with multiple best-selling relationship books and a sex advice podcast. Even though Sascha and Gina had had their ups and downs in college—some might even have called them frenemies—over the years they had gotten along well. Well, well enough.
At first when Lucas and Sascha started their counseling sessions with Gina, Sascha saw immediate results. She believed they were communicating better and had even started to be intimate again after a near six-month dry spell. But sadly, the feelings of a new and improved marriage would be short lived. It was not long before she realized that Lucas was cheating again. When she first confronted Lucas, he denied it and tried to turn everything around on her. She eventually dropped it and went to bed as he stormed out, but her gut was telling her that he was lying and cheating once again.
The following morning, she woke up to Lucas’s snoring next to her in bed. The bastard had sneaked back in at some point in the night. The sun was on his face, and as she looked at him, all she felt was disgust—disgust with herself. How could she have stayed married so long to this creep? she wondered. Looking at him made her realize that she did not love him anymore and had not for a very long time. She got up, got dressed, and went and found herself a divorce lawyer that day.
After hiring the best lawyer her money could buy, she quit her job because she knew that Lucas would try to milk her for spousal support, and she refused to give that lazy, no-good bastard another dime of her money. Let his mistress take care of him!
Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker
We all spend so much of our time at work. Work can be stressful and draining, and honestly sometimes boring. So, when we meet someone at work who makes the mundane workday seem less dull, and more fun and exciting, we may gravitate towards them.
Falling for them may be easy, even if you have a “no dating coworkers” rule. There is just something about them that says, “to hell with my rule”, and that they are worth breaking it. They may be worth it. You never know.
Finding someone is great but in reality, dating someone you work with has far more cons than pros.
Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker
Dating a Coworker Looks Unprofessional
Real life is not Grey’s Anatomy. In reality, it is frowned upon to date coworkers as it is considered unprofessional and tends to create unnecessary drama and distractions in the workplace.
Depending on the profession and workplace, and the positions of those involved, there may be issues of favoritism, nepotism, and unfair labor practices. Basically, it creates a human resources nightmare. Not a good look for someone hoping to move up in the company.
Dating a Coworker Creates Workplace Drama
You and your partner normally go to lunch together, but the day after a fight you are ignoring each other and creating a bit of workplace tension. Relationships naturally have ups and downs but when you also work with your partner it can be very hard to leave the drama at home. Romance and anger are likely to show up in one form or another at work.
Having time apart from a partner is a good thing but when you work together, time apart is challenging, if not impossible.
Other Coworkers Will Be In Your Business
Everyone has an opinion on your relationship. A workplace relationship gets added to the rest of the workplace gossip. Your relationship is under constant scrutiny, with continuous speculation of its status.
Coworkers may take notice that you are no longer taking lunches together, or it may be noticed that one of you is spending a lot of time chatting up the attractive new receptionist.
Your relationship is technically no one’s business, but when you brought your relationship to the workplace, you made it everybody’s business whether you like it or not.
Your Workplace Relationship Won’t Last
Just like any other relationship, the odds of it lasting and them being your forever person is very low. Breakups happen. It is the nature of dating and love to come to an end, but when you work with your ex, the breakup is far more complicated.
You have to continue to be professional and pretend that all is good, even when it is not. You may have coworkers choose sides and decide to not hang out with you anymore. You may also have to watch them move on and date another coworker.
Your Workplace Relationship Is Distracting
Whether you are feeling madly in love with the newness of your relationship, or you two have split and are trying to move on, there is a degree of distraction for both of you in the workplace.
The breakup residuals and pain won’t last forever, but if you are nursing a broken heart, it may make you feel miserable to see them day after day. You may even consider leaving your job in order to distance yourself from them.
I am not saying you cannot successfully date and fall in love with a coworker, but it can be very tricky and may not be worth it in the end. The larger the company the better. Also working in different departments helps negate some coworker relationship issues.
We cannot help who we fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? But avoiding some situations, when possible, may be wise. While we cannot help who we crush on and fall for, we can do things to try to steer the heart in a different direction, such as distancing ourselves and even avoiding that certain someone whenever possible.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated a coworker? What happened? Did it work out and would you ever do it again? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We started with a simple hello and ended with a complicated goodbye.” - Unknown