6 Signs You Have Outgrown Your Relationship

As the years go by, we grow and we change. Our wants and desires from 10 years ago may be vastly different than what they are today. It is inevitable. Life happens, priorities change, and as we gain insight and knowledge, our world view changes as well.

Unfortunately, sometimes our growth can negatively impact relationships in our lives, especially romantic relationships. The guy or girl that you were at 25 is not the same person at 35. You basically outgrow people in your life, including romantic partners.

If you are reading this, chances are you have already realized that you have outgrown your partner, but are looking for some definitive signs. Here are the six signs that you have outgrown your relationship.

6 Signs You Have Outgrown Your Relationship

Your Priorities Are Different

She is an ambitious, career focused money saver, while he prefers to focus on his hobbies, spend money like there is a never ending pot of money, and bounces from job to job. While once on the same page, one person has grown and become focused, while the other partner has become stagnant.

Your Interests Are Different

He is a political junkie and a huge Star Wars fan, while she is into reality television and fashion. He wants to talk about the upcoming election, and she is not even a registered voter. There is a problem here.

At some point these two people became polar opposites, and started to lack commonality. One is interested in world events, while the other is interested in looking cute and taking selfies.

Nothing To Talk About

You know that you have outgrown each other when you really have nothing to talk about, or it is the same old stories over and over.

It important to recognize that you have nothing to talk about because you have nothing in common, and you have nothing in common because you have outgrown each other.

You’re Bored

If you find your partner boring, you have outgrown them. The truth is that you find them boring because you now share different interests, are on a different intellectual levels, and no commonality any longer.

Different Values

Once upon a time you were both drinkers and into going out a lot. Now she’s a homebody, but he still likes to drink and go out a lot. She also likes to attend church, but he is a non believer.

Lifestyle and differing religious beliefs are big changes that happen as we grow and mature.

Different Goals

His goal is to have a nice family life with a few kids, while her goal is retire by 50 and then travel world. She doesn’t see kids in her future, and views them as a burden, while he sees children as a blessing.

It is hard to admit to yourself that you have outgrown your relationship without sounding like you are criticizing your partner or being judgey, but it is what it is. You should not feel guilty because you have grown and changed, especially if your growth has been for the better.

What are your thoughts on outgrowing relationships? Do you agree with the signs? When you outgrow a relationship do you stick it out or move on? Please share your experience!

“Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.” - Lee Goff

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Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers...The List We All Need To Have!

In my opinion, having relationship deal breakers is really about self-worth and self-respect. You are saying to yourself, "this is what I deserve, and I will not settle for less." You can call it being picky, but I call it being smart.

Many of us have a mental list, written lists for some, of all of the traits and characteristic we want in an ideal mate. We usually know, or hopefully know, what we need to be happy in a relationship, and having a partner who has your ideal traits can help that happen. You may want a mate who is smart, funny, outgoing, and handsome.

You can find that "ideal" person, they are out there. The problem is that sometimes you can meet someone that checks all the boxes of your ideal mate, but they may also be full of traits that are unacceptable.

My 5  Relationship Deal Breakers

Dishonesty

Dishonesty is a lack of honesty or a tendency to lie, cheat or steal. I think it goes without saying that no one wants to be lied to or betrayed by someone they are in a relationship with. Dishonesty is a deal breaker for me because I cannot be with someone I do not trust.

For me, blatant lying is not the only way to be dishonest. Being secretive, hiding things, and omissions are also forms of dishonesty.

Selfishness

Selfish people care only for themselves, and they are primarily concerned with their own interests, benefit, and welfare. A partnership with a selfish person feels like anything but a partnership. Being with someone who takes far more than they give is painful, and is a definite deal breaker. 

Watch out for this one because it will be hard to spot early in the relationship because you will want to take care of and do a lot for your new love. It may not be until much later that you start to realize how one-sided the relationship had been.

Pay attention to how much they allow you to do for them, but rarely reciprocate or inconvenience themselves for you.

Disrespect

Disrespectful people are rude, discourteous, and overall unpleasant. I have a zero tolerance rule with disrespect. We show others how to treat us, and if we allow them to be, treat, or speak to us in a disrespectful manner there will always be a lack of respect.

This rule also applies to being with someone you don't respect. Maybe you never respected them and settled, or lost respect for them along the way, but if you do not respect your partner, it can be difficult to treat them in a respectful manner. Be mindful that this is still a deal breaker.

Emotional Unavailability

An emotionally unavailable man is unable to share and communicate his emotions, and be open and honest about his feelings. The emotionally unavailable mate will suck you in, and then break your heart. Both men and women can be emotionally unavailable, although there are some differences in how they go about it, the relationship results can be the same.

An emotionally unavailable partner can seem like a challenge, a challenge you want. You will want to be the one to heal them, and break down their walls. Unfortunately you may get a lot more than you bargained for.

Communication is very important for a healthy relationship, but this will be lacking with an emotionally unavailable mate. This is a deal breaker because life is short and you are not going to change them. 

Lack of Motivation

Motivation is an act or reason to accomplish or achieve a goal or goals. A lack of motivation can be a sign of depression, or a sign of being lazy. A lazy partner is a big deal breaker.

A partner who lacks motivation will lack passion, and honestly it is difficult to respect a lazy person. Being with someone you cannot respect is unwise, and it would be settling.

Relationship deal breakers should be reasonable if you want to have healthy relationships, but non-negotiable once you set your standard. These deal breakers will vary from person to person. We all determine what is right for us, but there should be no settling just for the sake of keeping anyone.

What are your relationship deal breakers? If you have never thought about your deal breakers, I recommend that you do. How many on this list are your deal breakers too? Please share!

"The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do."  Unknown

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5 Ways To Get Over Someone You’re Still In Love With...

You cringe at the thought of letting go and moving on. You want to fight to be with the one you love. Unfortunately, there comes a time in many relationships where we have to let go. The relationship is no longer fulfilling, or your other half just doesn’t love you anymore.

Sometimes the love is still there, but the relationship just doesn’t work and is not meant to be. Or maybe you have grown apart, or lack compatibility.

It's a possibility you were always the only one in love. The person you gave your heart was never available to you. They were never available emotionally or physically. Perhaps they belonged to another.

Whatever the circumstances, you recognize that it is time to move, heal your heart, and find your happy again. But where do you start?

Healing a broken heart can be a slow and painful process if you were truly in love. In all honesty, you may always love that someone just a little bit forever, but there are things you can do to help you move on.

5 Ways To Get Over Someone You’re In Love With...

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Get Busy

Get busy and stay busy. Finding things to do is a great distraction from your broken heart. I recommend joining clubs, lots of exercise, and starting a new hobby.

Not only will staying busy keep you from cyberstalking your ex, though I am sure you will a little or a lot in the beginning, you will also find some self-improvement happening.

As you start new hobbies, and work on that body, you will find that your confidence and self esteem grows. Plus your back on the market, and you want to be at your best.

Spend Time With Friends

Hanging out with your friends will be fun, relaxing, and another great distraction. A girl's night out, or a weekend trip may be just the prescription needed for an aching heart. Your pals can be great listeners and shoulders to cry on, but don't push it. They have heard it all already, and have been listening to your love woes for quite a while before you decided to call it quits.

Make A List

Make a list of all the reasons the relationship couldn't and didn't work. When you sit down to write your list think about all the things that annoyed you, made you feel bad about yourself, and hurt your feelings in your relationship. Was your love kind, honest, and trustworthy? Did you really have much in common? Was it an abusive relationship? Were they your forever person?

Break ups happen for a reason. One or both of you didn't want to be in the relationship any longer. Do not romanticize the relationship. Be honest about their faults, and about how the relationship made you feel.

Be Open

Dating after a difficult break up will be the most exciting, and scariest thing you will do. The good, and the bad thing, is that there are many ways to meet new people. It used to be that you would go to clubs and bars to meet someone. But with all of the online dating possibilities, you can learn a lot about a potential mate without leaving your home.

The important thing to remember is to be open. Chances are there is someone you already know, who's currently in your life in some capacity, who is your best potential mate. But regardless of whether or not you have met the "one" or if you have to toss a lot of fish back into the sea until you find just what you need, be open to the possibilities.

Give It Time

I know it sounds cliche, but it is true that time heals all wounds. When you are in the middle of heartbreak, you wonder was there something wrong with you. When will you start to feel like yourself again?  How will you ever go on?

The answer is "you just do". One day at a time. Resist the urge to look at old pictures, old text messages, or anything else that reminds you of them.

Return any of their belongings you might have, especially your favorite article of clothing of theirs that you cannot stop smelling because it still has their scent on it. Let go.

We have all been there. No one escapes heartbreak in this life, even if you were the one to initiate the break-up. These 5 ways to get over someone you are still in love will work. Just be strong, be patient, and know that you are enough.

Do you relate to this blog? Have you ever broken up with someone you were still in love with? How did you get over them? How long did it take to move on and let go? Please share!

“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.” - Nicole Sobon

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5 Ways To Get Over Him

You cringe at the thought of letting go and moving on. You want to fight to be with the one you love. Unfortunately, there comes a time in many relationships where we have to let go. The relationship is no longer fulfilling, or your other half just doesn’t love you anymore.

Sometimes the love is still there, but the relationship just doesn’t work and is not meant to be. Or maybe you have grown apart, or lack compatibility.

It's a possibility you were always the only one in love. The person you gave your heart was never available to you. They were never available emotionally or physically. Perhaps they belonged to another.

Whatever the circumstances, you recognize that it is time to move, heal your heart, and find your happy again. But where do you start?

Healing a broken heart can be a slow and painful process if you were truly in love. In all honesty, you may always love that someone just a little bit forever, but there are things you can do to help you move on.

5 Ways To Get Over Someone You’re In Love With...

Featured Video

Get Busy

Get busy and stay busy. Finding things to do is a great distraction from your broken heart. I recommend joining clubs, lots of exercise, and starting a new hobby. Not only will staying busy keep you from cyberstalking your ex, though I am sure you will a little or a lot in the beginning, you will also find some self-improvement happening.

As you start new hobbies, and work on that body, you will find that your confidence and self esteem grows. Plus your back on the market, and you want to be at your best.

Spend Time With Friends

Hanging out with your friends will be fun, relaxing, and another great distraction. A girl's night out, or a weekend trip may be just the prescription needed for an aching heart. Your pals can be great listeners and shoulders to cry on, but don't push it.

They have heard it all already, and have been listening to your love woes for quite a while before you decided to call it quits.

Make A List

Make a list of all the reasons the relationship couldn't and didn't work. When you sit down to write your list think about all the things that annoyed you, made you feel bad about yourself, and hurt your feelings in your relationship.

Was your love kind, honest, and trustworthy? Did you really have much in common? Was it an abusive relationship? Were they your forever person?

Break ups happen for a reason. One or both of you didn't want to be in the relationship any longer. Do not romanticize the relationship. Be honest about their faults, and about how the relationship made you feel.

Be Open

Dating after a difficult break up will be the most exciting, and scariest thing you will do. The good, and the bad thing, is that there are many ways to meet new people. It used to be that you would go to clubs and bars to meet someone.

But with all of the online dating possibilities, you can learn a lot about a potential mate without leaving your home.

The important thing to remember is to be open. Chances are there is someone you already know, who's currently in your life in some capacity, who is your best potential mate. But regardless of whether or not you have met the "one" or if you have to toss a lot of fish back into the sea until you find just what you need, be open to the possibilities.

Give It Time

I know it sounds cliche, but it is true that time heals all wounds. When you are in the middle of heartbreak, you wonder was there something wrong with you. When will you start to feel like yourself again?  How will you ever go on? The answer is "you just do". One day at a time.

Resist the urge to look at old pictures, old text messages, or anything else that reminds you of them.

Return any of their belongings you might have, especially your favorite article of clothing of theirs that you cannot stop smelling because it still has their scent on it. Let go.

We have all been there. No one escapes heartbreak in this life, even if you were the one to initiate the break-up. These 5 ways to get over someone you are still in love will work. Just be strong, patient, and know that you are enough.

Do you relate to this blog? Have you ever broken up with someone you were still in love with? How did you get over them? How long did it take to move on and let go?

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