15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

After the year we all had with 2020, I think many of us are wanting to move forward in a more positive, self-reflective way. It all starts with looking at ourselves, acknowledging faults, and putting in the work to do better.

I think it’s pretty easy to recognize toxic behavior in others, but not so much when it comes to our own actions and behaviors. Toxic people are well, toxic, and unfortunately, it is possible that you actually the toxic person in many people’s lives.

No one wants to believe they are toxic, but sometimes the facts are just undeniable. Recognize the signs and knock it off.

15 Signs Your Behavior Is Toxic

You Anger Easily

You can go from zero to one hundred over the smallest thing and lose your mind on those closest to you and even strangers. Sticking up for yourself is one thing but talking to people in your life disrespectfully or making a habit of going off on people is toxic behavior.

Friends and Family Hold Their Tongues

If your friends or family dare try to hold you accountable for your words or actions it is a known fact that it will turn into a huge fight or gaslighting session. So instead they hold their tongues or start avoiding you altogether.

You Lose People In Your Life

People are always breaking up with you both literally and figuratively, anything to avoid dealing with you and your toxic behavior.

You Treat People Like Crap

Being nice and sweet sometimes does not give you a free pass to treat people like crap whenever you get upset or have a bad day. The minute you get upset or lose your temper your nice mask falls off and you show your true colors.

You Always Have To Be Right

No one likes being wrong, but with a toxic person even when they have been proven wrong they want to argue or find a way to be right. If that doesn’t work then anger or gaslighting is sure to follow.

You Are Never Happy

You are the ultimate drama queen with always something going on in your personal or professional life that tends to be over-inflated problems blown out of proportion. You seem to look for reasons to not be happy and you drag others into your self-created problems, leaving them shaking their heads at your first-world issues.

You Are Overly Critical

If you are a toxic person, you will always find a way to criticize. You are far from perfect, but want to hold everyone else to a standard of perfection and are always sure to let them know that they are failing.

You Don’t Take Responsibility

It’s never you, it’s always someone else. You seem to always attract drama and have problems but to have you tell it, it is always someone else’s fault. You take zero accountability for anything, especially the ramifications of your own actions.

You Are Insensitive To Others Feelings

Maybe you are a straight shooter or maybe you are passive-aggressive, but either way, you always manage to say something insensitive or insulting because you are insecure and toxic. Of course when they are offended or hurt you try to laugh it off because they are not entitled to feel insulted by your rude comment or joke at their expense.

You Are Rude

You tend to say rude and thoughtless things. You speak to people in the service industry in a rude manner and tend to be inconsiderate and thoughtless when irritated.

You Are Negative

You are Debbie downer and the sky is always falling to hear you tell it. We all have the occasional negative thought or feeling, but if you are toxic, being negative is a way of life. You are that friend that tells her happy and in love friend that you hope this guy doesn’t cheat on her like all the others.

You Are Not Supportive

You cannot stand to see anyone doing better than you, even if it’s your bestie or your partner. It’s all you and if your life isn’t going how you want it to then you can’t be happy for anyone else. You are toxic.

You Are Always Complaining

Even when things are good you always find something to complain about. The food wasn’t great, the music was too loud or not your preference, it’s too crowded or you are bored. Complain, complain, complain.

You Are Petty

Your tit-for-tat attitude when it comes to relationships is never going to be a winning strategy. You are childish and do not seem to learn from past mistakes. You think you are scoring big at the moment with your words and insults, but your tantrums consistently turn into big losses for you in the long run.

You Feel The Need To “One Up” Others

You cannot stand when you are not the center of attention and it is not about you. You can just never let someone else have their moment or shine. It always has to be about you so you go out of your way to try to show others up, even those you claim to be friends with or love.

It is never too late for you to grow and change. Actually believing otherwise is just an excuse to not put in the work needed to be a better friend, spouse, daughter, or sibling. If you recognize most or all of these traits in yourself or someone else, you have identified a toxic person.

What are your thoughts on toxic behavior? Do you recognize these characteristics in someone close to you or even yourself? Are you willing to cut the toxic person out of your life or change your ways? Please share your thoughts and experience!

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Why Smart, Successful Women Are With Losers

Not all smart, successful women are dating or married to losers of course, but the ones that are really stand out. We all have these amazing girlfriends who currently have or had men in their lives that made us cringe. Or worse, we were the one with the guy who made our friends ask, “What is she thinking?”.

Love can make us blind, but it can also make us very determined to make a relationship that’s not worth it, work. Successful women are used to getting it done and making it work, no matter the cost at times.

To be clear, my definition of loser has nothing to do with his looks, his bank account, or his education level. He is a loser if he is untrustworthy, he’s lazy, he’s a user, he’s selfish, and he’s rude and disrespectful.

Here’s Why Smart Women Are In Toxic Relationships

Enjoys A Challenge

Smart women like to solve problems and fix issues. Sometimes that includes fixing men. A man who lacks direction and ambition can present a project and challenge for a successful woman. She likes the idea of proving others wrong about him but also being able to “mold” him into the man she wants.

Over-Rationalizes

Smart women are thinkers and analyzers. A smart woman tends to look for the “why” behind the behaviors. She quickly turns into his therapist or surrogate mother, instead of being the partner she is supposed to be.

She will tell herself that he grew up in a broken home or doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, so she tolerates unacceptable behavior and treatment, all the while making excuses for him.

Over-Confident

A successful woman is used to succeeding and achieving her goals. Once she has set her sights on a man, no matter how bad he is for her, she will be determined to make the relationship work, sometimes even to her own detriment.

Stubborn

Successful women can be very stubborn and determined. She just knows that he has potential and if she can help him see that, everything would work out. This may especially be the case if others have expressed doubt choosing him or about things working out.

She Is Settling

Some would say that success comes at a price. Years spent focusing on schooling and career don’t necessarily leave much time for a love life.

The successful woman may feel the pressure to have it all. The job, the man, and the family. So she settles because “the clock” is ticking, and everyone else her age is already settling down and starting a family.

Love is a beautiful thing, but it cannot change the fundamentals of who a person truly is. People can change, but they have to want to. There are good men, there are bad guys, and there are choices in life.

What are your thoughts on smart, successful women ending up with losers? Are you one of these women? If so, why did you end up with a loser? Please share!

“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

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5 Signs Of Emotional Blackmail...A Manipulation Tactic

Emotional blackmail is something that happens between a manipulative or abusive person and a victim. It is often described as threats and punishments that are meant to control another person's behavior, while not escalating to physical violence.

Unhealthy relationships often have emotional blackmail used by one or both people in the relationship. Emotional blackmail is a manipulation tactic used to control someone you have a close relationship with. It is done by both men and woman.

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Relationships with emotional blackmail are mentally and emotionally draining. It is important to know the signs of this unhealthy relationship so you can address it, end it, or stop doing it if you are the culprit.

5 Signs Of Emotional Blackmail

Withholding Sex

It’s one thing to be not in the mood, but it’s another thing to use the withholding of sex in your relationship to punish your partner or get your own way. Withholding sex to manipulate your partner into doing what you want them to do is emotional blackmail, and signs of an unhealthy relationship.

The Silent Treatment

Healthy relationships need communication. So refusing to talk to your partner or respond to calls or text as a tactic to punish is counterproductive, and also childish and petty.

It’s one thing to tell your partner to give you some space because you are upset, and do not want to discuss an issue while upset. It is another thing to just cut off all communication and completely ignore your partner.

Threatens To Leave Relationship

When someone in the relationship constantly drops the D word or threatens to break up because they are upset or angry they are being manipulative, and using the threat of leaving to make their partner comply.

Someone who threatens to end the relationship whenever they are angry or not getting their way is someone who is not ready or capable of having a healthy relationship.

If they want to leave, let them go.

Threatens To Withhold Access To Your Children

Unfortunately, children are often used as pawns when relationships sour. The threat of not being able to see your children is often used to keep people in bad and unhappy relationships.

Threats to keep children away from a parent, not because the parent is unfit, but in order to control the other parent is manipulative, selfish, and the act of a bad parent.

Guilt Trips

Your partner is sometimes in the wrong, but they never own their faults, and often place the blame on you. And then they make you feel guilty for even trying to bring up your concerns or issues. They gaslight you constantly, and make you feel bad anytime you call them on their crap.

They should offer frequent flyer miles for all the guilt trips they take you on, but instead all you get are mind games.

We all like to get our own way, but there are healthy ways to go about making it happen. In a healthy relationship you will need to compromise, which will mean that you will not have your way all of the time.

What are your thoughts on emotional blackmail in relationship? Do any of these signs resonate with you? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“I've been doing this a long time- manipulating people to get my way. That's why you think you love me. Because I've broken you down and built you back up to believe it. It wasn't an accident. Once you leave this behind..... you'll see that. -Caleb”  ― CJ Roberts, Seduced In The Dark

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