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5 Effective Ways To Co-Parent
Co-parenting can be challenging whether or not you are in a romantic relationship or are no longer together as a couple. Co-parenting takes understanding, patience, and mutual respect to do it effectively.
Children can be healthy and happy, even if their parents are not together and divorced, but in order for that to happen, both parents have to work together and be willing to meet their counterpart halfway. Advice is always easier said than done, but I think we can all agree that when it comes to our children, the effort is always worth it. Here are 5 effective ways to co-parent.
5 Ways To Effectively Co-Parent
Communicate
Great communication is always essential when it comes to any relationship, but even more so for two individuals to work together for a common goal. Co-parenting requires both parents to share their thoughts and feeling about the children and to listen to their counterparts.
A happy, healthy, and successful co-parenting relationship comes down to good communication.
Keep It About the Children
Whether you are madly in love with your partner or still hurting from a painful split, your parenting decisions should be about the children and their well-being. Parenting choices should not be about the other parent.
You may be dealing with a new boyfriend or girlfriend in your ex’s life, or perhaps they have even married, which may cause you some heartache or anger for you. But remember the beautiful child or children you two share. It is important to not use the children to control, manipulate, or punish the other parent.
Be Kind To Each Other
You should not intentionally undermine or try to usurp the other parent’s parental authority. This rule really comes into play if the relationship is going through challenging times or the parents are no longer together.
Choose kindness, if not for the other person you once cared about, then do it for your children. The children will benefit from the positive co-parenting relationship.
Be Willing To Compromise
When it comes to our children, there may some non-negotiables in regards to the rules you lay down. Whether you are a couple or no longer together, you are likely aligned one hundred percent on every issue in regards to your children.
Whether it’s about the food they are allowed to eat, how much television they get or the activities they participate in, there is bound to be some conflict. It is okay for there to be disagreements and different points of view but be willing to see other parents’ side of things and don’t dig your heels if you really do not have an issue with their parenting call. Be willing to talk it out and come to a consensus.
Present A United Front
Strive to always present a united front. It’s a bad idea to make your children think they can pit you two against one another in order to get their way. As sweet and wonderful as our children are, they will play you and your partner if it means they can get their way. Do not be fooled into thinking your little angel is above it.
To avoid this trap, discuss parenting disagreements outside of your children’s presence, and do not try to score the “cool parent” points by going against the other parent’s wishes outside their presence. This will only backfire on you in the end.
Parenting is not easy. Children do not come with a handbook and mistakes will be made. There is no magic formula to raising perfect children. All we can do as a parent is do our best, with the best intentions.
What are your thoughts on co-parenting? Do you agree with my advice? What advice would you give others? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“At the end of the day, you’ve got to be a little selfless. You have to say ‘It’s not about us. This didn’t work out quite how we wanted it to, but look at the amazing blessing that we have in these wonderful children.’ So you kinda put everything else to the side and really focus.” – Nick Cannon
Rushing Love?...5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
Dating is one thing but falling in love ups the ante. When it comes to love many will say, “when you know, you know’” And that saying applies in some cases, but in most cases, not so much. In the early stages of romantic relationships, our heads tend to be in the clouds.
You may be thinking how in the world do I fall in love slowly, or saying “I cannot help how I feel”. To which I say, you have more control than you think you do. I am not saying for you to not to fall in love, I am just suggesting that you give time and space for the rational thoughts to come into play.
5 Reasons To Fall In Love Slowly
You Need To Get To Know Them
Falling in love with a stranger is a dangerous act. It is completely possible that this new person is your forever person and soulmate, but in the beginning, it is too early to tell. You don’t know them, and won’t know them for a while, despite how connected you feel to them.
In the first year or two, the masks are still on. Over time people will let down their guards and show you the real them. The real them is the person you want to base your decisions on, not who they pretended to be to charm you and win you over.
You Need Time To Assess
Once you have gotten to know them to some degree, now you need to figure out if you are compatible in the long run. It takes time to get to know someone. Getting to know someone is not a process that can be rushed, no matter how great they seem.
You will also need time to decide if you actually like the real them because you may not. We are all flawed and have some pretty good ideas of what those flaws are. In a new relationship, we tend to mask those flaws, but eventually, they come out and once they tend to come out, and once they do, you may find some dealbreakers.
You Need To Have The Hard Conversations
You definitely do want to scare someone off early on by talking about certain topics. But if you are hoping for a relationship to go somewhere serious, the discussions will need to eventually happen. Do they want to get married? Do you want children? Are they religious? What are their political views?
All of their answers to the big questions may be a dealbreaker. Maybe you really want to get married, but they don’t believe in marriage. Or perhaps you have opposing political views, that cause heated debates and arguments. None of these topics are likely discussed early on but may be dealbreakers in the long run.
You Need to Meet Their People
You can learn a lot about someone by meeting the people they choose to have in their life. Some friends and family members can be a huge thorn in a relationship’s side.
You should remember that family is not chosen, but friends are. If he has friends that are big liars and cheaters, that says something about his judgment and may be reflective of what he thinks is okay as well.
Give Time For True Colors To Show
You need to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the rush is. The mask is on early in the relationship and once it comes off you may not like what is beneath them. What is more important to you? Being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone, or finding that special someone you really vibe and connect with and that can be a lasting partnership? You could have both if you are patient, but rushing it may ruin everything.
I am not saying to fight your feelings, but instead give your heart and mind time to assess, because let’s be honest, sometimes the heart gets it wrong. Odds are they are not the one, and you are not in love, but instead infatuated and headed for heartbreak.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you dive headfirst into relationships or do you take your time and have a long courtship? Please share your thoughts and stories!
I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast
I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last
My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past
And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast - Sammy Cahn
What To Watch on Netflix in March 2022
There is always something new to entertain and delight from one streaming service or another. February was a great month for the return of some of our favorite shows, and March is shaping up to be even better.
I love a good binge-worthy show, and my recommendations all have two seasons with the exception of The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window and Murderville, which have just one season but are ridiculously binge-worthy. All my picks for March are light, fun, and not too heavy.
I have five recommendations for you and I think you will enjoy them all.
What To Watch On Netflix March 2022
The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window
When a handsome neighbor moves in across the street, Anna, a heartbroken woman for whom every day is the same, starts to see a light at the end of the tunnel. That is until she witnesses a gruesome murder - Or did she? - IMDB
I binged this show over a weekend. It’s weird, suspenseful, and kept wondering what the heck was going on. I didn’t know whether or not to take it seriously, although the strange title should have clued me in. The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window is a spoof of several other recent movies but is funny because it makes fun of some of the unbelievably silly plots of the other movies.
Kristen Bell is great and makes this series worth watching. I highly recommend it, but it should be noted this is not family friendly programming.
Bridgerton Season 2
Wealth, lust, and betrayal set against the backdrop of Regency-era England, seen through the eyes of the powerful Bridgerton family. - IMDB
I read all the Julia Quinn books years ago that this series is based on. Season 2 of Bridgerton follows Julia’s second book on the series, The Viscount Who Loved Me. Season 1 was very hot and sexy and I would imagine we are in the same treatment for season two.
Season 2 premieres on Friday, March 25th.
Sweet Magnolia Season 2
Three South Carolina women, best friends since high school, shepherd one another through the complexities of romance, career, and family. - IMDB
Season 1 left viewers on a cliffhanger and Season 2 picks right up on the same night. Sweet Magnolia is wholesome viewing and feels like it would fit right in on The Hallmark Channel. It is entertaining, and relatable for the most part. This is easy binge programming and enjoyable, with Season 2 ending on another cliffhanger.
There is no smooth sailing for the women of Sweet Magnolia. Available now on Netflix.
Murderville
Eccentric detective Terry Seattle teams up with clueless celebrity guest stars to investigate a series of murders in this improvisational crime comedy.
Murdervile is quirky and funny, with an interesting concept. I loved watching the guests improv as they try to assist in solving crimes in the most ridiculous fashion.
Murderville is available now on Netflix.
Space Force
The people tasked with creating a sixth branch of the armed services: The Space Force. - IMDB
It is hard to believe that Space Force is actually a real thing, but it is. Hopefully, its employees are a bit more competent. Steve Carell is as funny and quirky as ever, with John Malkovich being weird and hilarious. If you like The Office you will like Space Force.
There are two seasons to binge and belly laugh at. Space Force is available now on Netflix.
This Netflix watch list is meant to be light-hearted and fun. I hope you enjoy my recommendations and come back and share your thoughts with me. Tell me what you about the shows and share your own recommendations. Happy viewing!
The Writer and the Billionaire: A Novel
Searching for your next summer read? Look no further than my new novel The Writer and the Billionaire.
The Writer and the Billionaire is the story of Sascha Gills, a newly divorced writer whose life changes forever when she is swept off her feet by the charming, handsome, and spectacularly rich Devon Montague. But it’s not all smooth sailing—and someone from Sascha’s past seems determined to keep it that way. As Sascha and Devon’s relationship is tested by struggle and heartbreak, can they persist and ultimately triumph in love?
Here is your sneak peek!
Chapter 1
Sascha sat staring at the paper she had just signed. Her marriage was officially over! She had not been single in over eleven years, but six months ago she’d woken one morning and realized that she was not happy and had not been for the last five years. She did not want to be married to Lucas anymore. She needed a fresh start.
Lucas had been her college sweetheart and at the time seemed to be her soul mate. Thinking back on her naivete made Sascha giggle slightly, feeling a little silly for even believing in soul mates.
Hearing her giggle, her husband and his lawyer looked up at her from across the table. In an irritated tone, her now ex-husband said, “Is there something about this that you find amusing?”
His voice snapped her from her thoughts and wiped the little smile from her face. Her first impulse was to say that she didn’t find anything funny, but after a second thought, she decided not to bite her tongue any further.
“You know, actually I do find something funny. I find it funny that I ever thought this pathetic excuse for a marriage could have lasted. And even funnier than that is the fact that I let a sorry excuse for a man like you make me feel bad about myself for so long. The truth of the matter is that I deserved better than you, and you know it.”
“Oh, please, get off your high horse. You weren’t exactly the most loving, supportive wife. I am the one that deserves better,” he responded, not surprisingly.
Sascha rolled her eyes and looked down at her vibrating cell phone. A no-caller-ID caller again. She reminded herself that she really needed to get a new phone number.
Handing the papers back to her lawyer, Sascha stood up and said her final words to Lucas. “When are you going to stop blaming others for your failures? You know what? Don’t bother answering that. I can say that I am done being your excuse for never succeeding. I truly hope that someday you find your way and can become the man that you have always wanted to be.”
When Sascha walked out of that conference room, she felt as if a weight had been lifted. Sure, she was thirty-four, almost thirty-five actually, and was starting over, but she wasn’t scared. She was excited, in fact. To be honest, she had not felt this type of exhilaration since her college volleyball days. Sascha had once been one of the country’s top volleyball players and could have gone pro, but instead, she chose a simpler life with Lucas. After graduating from the University of Southern California’s MBA program, Lucas and Sascha both got jobs with financial firms and moved to San Francisco to start their lives together.
Sascha had grown up in a middle-class area in a Northern California town and was happy to be somewhat close to her family again. She thought that Lucas was happy too, but nothing ever seemed to make him happy. Not his job, not their sex life, and certainly not his wife. While Sascha had quickly found success at her investment firm, Lucas seemed to have trouble holding a job. He always quit or was fired for one reason or another. Of course, it was never his fault. His bosses were always jerks who picked on him, or Sascha was putting too much pressure on him or not supporting him. Never were his troubles his own doing—not his bad attitude, and certainly not his lack of competence.
When he began to become depressed, Sascha did everything she could to get him out of his slump. Nothing worked, and of course he refused counseling at that time, both individual counseling for himself and marriage counseling for the both of them.
One day Sascha went to him with an idea that she thought would solve all their problems. She suggested that they open up an investment firm. She had a wonderful client roster, many of whom she was sure would more than happily follow her if she left her current powerhouse firm of Chase & Sanders.
To Sascha’s surprise, Lucas was immediately receptive to the idea, and they quickly got to work on this new venture. At first it seemed like Lucas was truly happy with her and things were getting better, but that was just wishful thinking on her part.
They rented a small office in a downtown building with a monthly rent that was more than twice their monthly mortgage, but Sascha wanted—no, needed—to believe it would pay off and be worth it in the long run. Fortunately, Sascha had been able to put away quite the little nest egg thanks to large commissions she had received at her old job, but she was still a little concerned about leaving her safety net at Chase & Sanders. Despite her concerns, she knew she needed to do this for Lucas, and for the sake of their marriage.
She had been right about many of her clients choosing to follow her, but it was not long before she saw what many of Lucas’s previous bosses had seen. He gave his clients the worst financial advice, encouraging them to make risky, damn near irresponsible investment decisions, even causing one of their clients to lose more than $5 million in one week.
In a matter of six months, Lucas had ruined their business and destroyed Sascha’s reputation as a financial adviser. They had gone through all their savings and had gotten into horrible financial debt. They were close to losing their home when Michael, an old friend of Sascha’s from college, helped them out, unbeknownst to Lucas, who would have flat out refused the help. Sascha felt a little guilty about keeping Michael’s aid from Lucas, but she had already lost so much because of his poor judgment she refused to lose anything else, especially her home.
Michael Ghant had made it big in the software and tech business. He offered Sascha a job as a CFO at his company and a generous starting bonus, which more than caught them up on their mortgage and other delinquent bills. It was shocking and disappointing to Sascha that Lucas, with his education and training, was so completely oblivious to his financial problems. And sadly, worse than him being oblivious was that maybe he just didn’t care anymore.
When Sascha began working for Michael, he made his feelings for her very clear, and she made it very clear to him that she would honor her marriage vows. Being the gentleman that he was, Michael accepted her rejection graciously but made it known to her that he felt she deserved so much more than an unhappy marriage to a selfish, cruel man.
During the course of her marriage, Sascha had gained over fifty pounds and lost all her self-confidence. Once upon a time, she had been a confident, athletic, smart, attractive woman, but Lucas had taken all of that away. As the pounds came on, so did his insults and his reasoning for being unfaithful. As far as she knew, he had been unfaithful at least twice during their marriage, but deep down she knew there had been other infidelities. Just like the cliché, the first woman was a twentysomething girl named Rebecca who was a secretary at a financial firm Lucas once worked for. He told Sascha that it only happened a couple of times and that it meant nothing. Sascha, wanting to believe him, forgave him quickly and foolishly commended him for his honesty, even though there was unlikely an honest bone in his body.
The second affair that came to Sascha’s attention was not so easily forgiven. After years of fighting to make their marriage work, Sascha decided that they needed marriage counseling. At first Lucas refused, but Sascha told him that if they didn’t get help soon, she could not see them staying married. He actually looked fearful at that statement. At the time, Sascha believed that look was about fear of losing her, but later she realized that it had likely been more about losing his cash cow.
Sascha decided to seek the counseling services of a college pal of hers, a woman by the name of Gina Campbell. Gina was very attractive, with her petite frame, long black hair, and olive skin. Standing next to Gina’s five-foot-two frame, Sascha felt like an extremely insecure giant.
Apparently, Gina had never married, which was surprising to Sascha, considering all the boy drama she’d always had in college. Gina was the girl who always had to have a boyfriend—yours or her own, it didn’t matter. She was the girl who had no qualms about sleeping with someone else’s guy and stealing your man. In fact, she seemed to enjoy the challenge.
Of course, Gina’s behavior caused many problems with the other girls in their group and on campus, but Sascha always felt sorry for her. For someone to behave the way Gina did, she must have been terribly insecure and sad inside. Plus, Sascha didn’t feel threatened by Gina. Try as she might—and she tried hard—Gina just couldn’t steal Sascha’s boyfriend Colin.
Colin was Sascha’s college boyfriend before Lucas, whom was tragically killed during his and Sascha’s junior year, by a hit-and-run driver. Sascha was heartbroken by his death but eventually moved on when she met Lucas. Colin had been such a kindhearted, sweet guy. The loss of Colin changed everyone in their circle of friends.
Fast-forward ten years, and Gina Campbell was now a well-respected marriage counselor, with multiple best-selling relationship books and a sex advice podcast. Even though Sascha and Gina had had their ups and downs in college—some might even have called them frenemies—over the years they had gotten along well. Well, well enough.
At first when Lucas and Sascha started their counseling sessions with Gina, Sascha saw immediate results. She believed they were communicating better and had even started to be intimate again after a near six-month dry spell. But sadly, the feelings of a new and improved marriage would be short lived. It was not long before she realized that Lucas was cheating again. When she first confronted Lucas, he denied it and tried to turn everything around on her. She eventually dropped it and went to bed as he stormed out, but her gut was telling her that he was lying and cheating once again.
The following morning, she woke up to Lucas’s snoring next to her in bed. The bastard had sneaked back in at some point in the night. The sun was on his face, and as she looked at him, all she felt was disgust—disgust with herself. How could she have stayed married so long to this creep? she wondered. Looking at him made her realize that she did not love him anymore and had not for a very long time. She got up, got dressed, and went and found herself a divorce lawyer that day.
After hiring the best lawyer her money could buy, she quit her job because she knew that Lucas would try to milk her for spousal support, and she refused to give that lazy, no-good bastard another dime of her money. Let his mistress take care of him!
Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker
We all spend so much of our time at work. Work can be stressful and draining, and honestly sometimes boring. So, when we meet someone at work who makes the mundane workday seem less dull, and more fun and exciting, we may gravitate towards them.
Falling for them may be easy, even if you have a “no dating coworkers” rule. There is just something about them that says, “to hell with my rule”, and that they are worth breaking it. They may be worth it. You never know.
Finding someone is great but in reality, dating someone you work with has far more cons than pros.
Here’s Why You Should Never Date A Coworker
Dating a Coworker Looks Unprofessional
Real life is not Grey’s Anatomy. In reality, it is frowned upon to date coworkers as it is considered unprofessional and tends to create unnecessary drama and distractions in the workplace.
Depending on the profession and workplace, and the positions of those involved, there may be issues of favoritism, nepotism, and unfair labor practices. Basically, it creates a human resources nightmare. Not a good look for someone hoping to move up in the company.
Dating a Coworker Creates Workplace Drama
You and your partner normally go to lunch together, but the day after a fight you are ignoring each other and creating a bit of workplace tension. Relationships naturally have ups and downs but when you also work with your partner it can be very hard to leave the drama at home. Romance and anger are likely to show up in one form or another at work.
Having time apart from a partner is a good thing but when you work together, time apart is challenging, if not impossible.
Other Coworkers Will Be In Your Business
Everyone has an opinion on your relationship. A workplace relationship gets added to the rest of the workplace gossip. Your relationship is under constant scrutiny, with continuous speculation of its status.
Coworkers may take notice that you are no longer taking lunches together, or it may be noticed that one of you is spending a lot of time chatting up the attractive new receptionist.
Your relationship is technically no one’s business, but when you brought your relationship to the workplace, you made it everybody’s business whether you like it or not.
Your Workplace Relationship Won’t Last
Just like any other relationship, the odds of it lasting and them being your forever person is very low. Breakups happen. It is the nature of dating and love to come to an end, but when you work with your ex, the breakup is far more complicated.
You have to continue to be professional and pretend that all is good, even when it is not. You may have coworkers choose sides and decide to not hang out with you anymore. You may also have to watch them move on and date another coworker.
Your Workplace Relationship Is Distracting
Whether you are feeling madly in love with the newness of your relationship, or you two have split and are trying to move on, there is a degree of distraction for both of you in the workplace.
The breakup residuals and pain won’t last forever, but if you are nursing a broken heart, it may make you feel miserable to see them day after day. You may even consider leaving your job in order to distance yourself from them.
I am not saying you cannot successfully date and fall in love with a coworker, but it can be very tricky and may not be worth it in the end. The larger the company the better. Also working in different departments helps negate some coworker relationship issues.
We cannot help who we fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? But avoiding some situations, when possible, may be wise. While we cannot help who we crush on and fall for, we can do things to try to steer the heart in a different direction, such as distancing ourselves and even avoiding that certain someone whenever possible.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated a coworker? What happened? Did it work out and would you ever do it again? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We started with a simple hello and ended with a complicated goodbye.” - Unknown
New Resolutions... Will There Be A New You In 2022
Can you believe another year has come and gone already? It is the first day of January 2022 and as we look forward to the new year, we often ask ourselves what we want for ourselves and our loved ones in this new year. With the pandemic still looming, I think health and well-being are at the top of most of our lists, but besides those two what else do you want for 2022?
Honestly, I have not made a New Year's resolution in years. I find them pointless, and a pre-destined failure of sorts. Don't get me wrong, I am all about changing for the better and being the best me I can be. I don't know, maybe it is the rebel in me, but I refuse to make January 1st of any year my pivotal point.
My day of instant epiphany, self-discipline, and yes, self-righteousness. Why any particular day to change, to do better, to be better? Procrastination maybe? Just a few more cheat days, weeks, or months if you start on the first of the year?
Personally, I am always working on losing weight, getting healthier, giving more, learning more, and striving to be a better wife, mother, and friend. Would I have more success if I made a New Year's resolution? Not likely for me, but if it works for you go for it. I am currently in a highly motivated zone.
After I turned forty, I told myself that I would become the best version of myself yet. I am still a work in progress, but I have a few more years before my next big milestone. Hopefully, I will be a better version by my fiftieth birthday.
Here are the top resolutions people made for 2021. I am betting you will recognize yours.
Focus On Improvement Of Your Health
Prioritize Your Finances
Pursue A Dream Or Aspiration
Invest In Your Relationships
Take Care Of Your Mental Health
Live More Sustainably
Disconnect From Your Phone/Devices
Read More Books
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Plan A Once In A Lifetime Trip
I think the 2021 list is a great place to start. The list encompasses all the things needed for having a happy and healthy life. The top resolutions on the list every year tend to be to lose weight and exercise more. After dealing with gyms being closed, being less social, and working from home for the last years, I think many could stand to move more.
What are your thoughts on making New Year's resolutions? Did you make a resolution? Do you always make resolutions? Statistics show 42% of people never make resolutions. Either way, I hope 2022 is your best year yet.
"Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect." - Alan Cohen
6 Signs You Are Infatuated
Infatuation can happen to anyone at any age in life. Surprisingly it is not just for teens although often associated with a school crush or favorite movie star or boy band. Infatuations can and may happen periodically throughout your entire life.
I think for many of us when we think of infatuation we think of posters on the walls of our teen bedroom or doodling his or her name over and over again in our notebook. But the reality is you could be infatuated with your college professor or the barista at the corner cafe. Or maybe even infatuated with your boss or the nanny. You could even be in a committed relationship and be infatuated with someone.
When you are infatuated with someone you have strong feelings of love or passion for them that make you unable to think clearly or sensibly about them. The keywords to the infatuation definition are clearly and sensibly because we are blinded by their beauty or charm. If you are wondering if you are infatuated, here are the signs to look for.
6 Signs of Infatuation
They are Always on your Mind
The big thing with infatuation is that you cannot stop thinking about that certain person. They are always on your mind. Thoughts of them can be extremely intrusive, and almost like a drug or an addiction, you need a fix. You need to see them. You need to talk to them. You need some sort of interaction to feel better and get that emotional high they give you.
It’s crazy, but when you are infatuated by someone they are somehow always on your mind.
You Feel Sad or Depressed When You Cannot See or Interact With Them
You feel absolutely miserable when you cannot see or speak to the object of your infatuation. You know it is bad when your moods and emotional well-being are negatively impacted by not seeing them or by not talking to them.
This is such an unhealthy place to find yourself. If your infatuation is causing you emotional distress it is time to pull away and let it go if your crush has no interest in you or is unavailable to you. Pining after someone you cannot have is a miserable state to be in and no way to treat yourself. You deserve better.
You Feel Jealous and Possessive of Them
Chances are, you are not in a romantic relationship with the one you are infatuated with, but you wish you were or hope to be. Until that time, in your mind they are yours and you get very jealous at the thought or sight of them with someone you view as a romantic rival.
You feel almost an ownership of the object of your infatuation. You become hurt, sad, and even infuriated by the mere thought of them giving another man or woman attention.
You Think They Are Perfect
You see the object of your infatuation as perfect. You do not see their flaws. You do not really see them. No one is perfect but when it comes to your infatuation you are only seeing what you want to see. They can do no wrong.
You see the gorgeous guy or girl who is super sweet. But that’s it. Your assessment of their character stopped there. There is more to them than their looks and the fantasy life you created in your mind. You just have to be willing to look open your eyes to reality.
You Would Do Anything For Them
There is practically nothing they could ask you to do that you would say no to. You just want to please them. You just want to make them happy. And you want them to feel the same way about you that you feel about them.
Unfortunately, this tactic almost never works. Being at someone’s beck and call shows a lack of self-worth and self-respect. If you cannot love and respect yourself how can you expect others to love and respect you? Besides, would a truly great person use you and have you at their beck and call?
You Cannot Bear The Thought of Not Having Them
Your infatuation is obsessive. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend you may try to ruin it. You may even stalk them on social media or even in person. All I can say is “do not do it”. It is not worth it. He or she is not worth it. The behavior is not healthy and if they require all this effort they do not deserve you.
If you have made your feelings known and they did not reciprocate you have to let it go and move on. But you take comfort in knowing that you tried but also knowing that you cannot force a relationship. Do not worry, because you know fishes in the sea and all that.
Infatuation usually fades but can just as easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. Believe me, if you are doing any of the six signs above you are not in love. This is a phase. A passing fancy. An infatuation and it will pass. And once it does, you will likely look back and laugh and maybe even ask yourself “what were you thinking” focusing so much time and energy on that person.
What are your thoughts on being infatuated? When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? Did you get the guy or girl? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Every time he looked at me I felt like I'd touched my tongue to the tip of a battery. In art class I'd watch him lean back and listen and I was nothing but zing and tingle. After a while, the tingle turned to electricity, and when he asked me out my whole body amped to a level where technically I should have been dead. I had nothing in common with a sheddy like him, but a girl doesn't think straight when she's that close to electrocution.” ― Cath Crowley, Graffiti Moon
Holiday Movies To Watch Right Now On Netflix
Did someone say cheesy, heartwarming, holiday rom-coms? It is that time of year again and if you want easy, stress-free, commercial-free, and yes a Christmas romantic comedy full of cliches, do I have the list for you.
While I love me some Love Actually and have finally conceded that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, don’t judge me, you will find neither on this list. Just sit back with a glass of wine or hot cocoa and enjoy the fun and silliness and yes the somewhat predictable Christmas movie love fest.
Holiday Movies To Watch Right Now On Netflix
Love Hard
An LA girl, unlucky in love, falls for an East Coast guy on a dating app and decides to surprise him for the holidays, only to discover that she's been catfished. This lighthearted romantic comedy chronicles her attempt to reel in love.
This holiday rom-com encompasses all the typical elements and has just the right amount of cuteness and humor, and a little lesson on the perils of online dating. Sometimes people are not who they seem to be.
A Castle for Christmas
To escape a scandal, a bestselling author journeys to Scotland, where she falls in love with a castle - and faces off with the grumpy duke who owns it. - IMBD
It was great to see some familiar faces in this holiday romantic comedy. Think Blue Lagoon and The Princess Bride. Okay maybe that’s taking it back a little too far but you get my point. Holiday romance is not just for twenty-something-year-olds.
Operation Christmas Drop
Congressional aide Erica (Graham) forgoes family Christmas to travel at her boss's behest. At a beachside Air Force base, she clashes with Capt. Andrew Jantz (Ludwig), who knows her assignment is finding reasons to defund the facility. - IMBD
Set in the backdrop of real-life operations that help small pacific islands every year, this fictitious romance is a sweet reminder of the importance of generosity and the true Christmas spirit of giving.
The Holiday
Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. - IMDB
The Holiday came out nearly fifteen years ago, but it’s still fun and relatable, in some ways, and perfect for this time of year.
A Snowbound Christmas
Marketing exec lands a spot on a big project but before the presentation, a snowstorm traps her and her boss at a resort where they realize there is more to their relationship than just business. - IMBD
I believe this originally appeared on Hallmark but nevertheless, this is a sweet, and family-friendly holiday movie.
A Christmas Prince
When a reporter goes undercover as a tutor to get the inside scoop on a playboy prince, she gets tangled in some royal intrigue and ends up finding love - but will she be able to keep up her lie? - IMDB
A Christmas Prince is great for the family to watch together. Very cheesy, and Disney-like but also sweet and heartwarming. It is actually a trilogy now, so you can also watch A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding and A Christmas Prince: A Royal Baby.
Holidate
Fed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way. - IMDB
This was a surprisingly entertaining rom-com. This is funny and cute but it is not family-friendly due to language and content.
The Holiday Calendar
A struggling but talented photographer inherits an antique holiday advent calendar, the contents of which seem to predict the future. Will this magical calendar lead her to love this holiday season?
I love the magical elements added to this holiday story. This is another family-friendly Christmas movie that everyone can sit down together and watch.
Some of these are old and some of these are new but they are all perfect for this time of year to curl up on the couch and watch. Or to just enjoy as you wrap gifts or relax. I have watched them all and hope you give a couple or all of them a try too! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
5 Signs He’s Playing Mind Games
Mind games are relationship manipulations that keep you both mentally and emotionally off balance. Mind games are usually about feeding the ego. In order to feed the ego, a guy who plays mind games will string you along for as long as possible, because you know, it’s all about him.
Mind games are cruel and misleading and are far too common in the dating world. It’s not only about ego, it can also be about control and self-preservation but playing mind games can lead to people really getting hurt. No one wants to be led on or toyed with.
To protect yourself, it’s important to know if you are being played so you don’t get hurt. Here are the signs to look for to know if he is playing mind games.
5 Signs He’s Playing Mind Games
He’s Hot and Cold
Sometimes it’s all about you. He is giving you lots of attention and affection and making you feel special. You actually start to believe that this could be something real between the two of you.
Just when you were starting to let your guard down and catch feelings he starts giving you the cold shoulder and it’s like you do not exist. He basically stops calling or texting. He doesn’t even really return your calls or texts or take forever to respond if he does. And if he sees you out and about he will barely acknowledge you and instead force you to create an interaction with him.
This is a huge power play and mind game tactic. He is showing you he’s in control of this relationship and can stop dealing with you whenever he wants without a care in the world.
He Disappears
He was calling or coming around all the time, and then suddenly nothing. He basically ghosts you temporarily. Then he reappears as if nothing happened. Why did he do this? Well, because he can and because he’s testing you and playing mind games. But in the process, he may have got you thinking you did something wrong or said something wrong. He made you question yourself.
His motivation? He wants to see just how easily you are manipulated and how desperate you are to have him. These are huge red flags and a major power play on his part.
He Tells What You Want To Hear
He says the right things but his actions seemed to be the opposite. You ask if he is seeing other people and he denies it or dodges the question completely. You have seen him with other girls but he says they are just friends even though there are tons of rumors about him being an untrustworthy player.
He tells you that you are special to him and says he cares for you but after spending time with him you often feel used and more like a side chick or booty call than a potential mate or girlfriend.
He’s Seeing Other Girls
In his defense, I guess, he may have made it clear that you are not the only one he’s seeing or that he has a lot of female friends. But when you are together he lays it on thick, making you feel like he is really into you and that he has strong feelings for you. Which is confusing because how could he be this way with you and have feelings for others too, right?
That is the mind game part. That is the player playing you and reeling you in. Guys who do this are not falling for you, and they do not have romantic feelings for you. They are grooming you to reciprocate a false love story they have created to get what they want from you and keep you waiting in the wings.
Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
He dangles a future with him. If you were a little sexier, or your boobs were bigger, or if you were just skinnier he could see a future with you. He always manages to make you feel like you are not good enough for him. Like you will never be good enough for him.
But he gives you just enough attention and romance to make you want to be enough to truly win him over. This is him playing on your self-esteem issues. This is playing mind games. This is him slowly tearing you down. Now ask yourself, is this really a guy you want a future with.
At the end of the day, it should not come down to how hot he is or how much money he has but how he treats you and how he makes you feel about him and you.
Here’s the thing, if a guy is playing mind games he already knows that he is really not that into you. But that won’t stop him from using you when he is lonely or needs to feel good about himself. If he really cared about you he would not make you feel so confused or like you are less than all of the time. You deserve better than a guy who plays mind games with you.
What are your thoughts on dealing with a man playing games? Do you agree with my list? How do you handle a guy playing mind games? Do you play them right back or bounce? What is your experience? Please share!
“In a narcissist's world, you are not their one and only. You are an extension of that person and last place in their mind, while they secure back up narcissistic supply.” ― Shannon L. Alder
Gender Roles In Marriage...Is "Taming" A Woman Still A Thing?
This topic came to mind as I was watching the series Miss Scarlet and The Duke. The series combines both elements of mystery and the classic undertones of a slow-burn romance. Set in a time when women were second-class citizens and men were in charge, women were expected to be passive, unopinionated, and to follow the man’s lead.
Depending on the country you live in or your religious affiliation not much may have changed. However, from my American woman's point of view, everything has changed. But if that’s the case why do so many relationships seem to struggle with gender roles and expectations from the female partner?
I suppose it’s not necessarily so much about taming a woman as it is about domesticating her and reverting a modern woman to a housewife from yesteryears. Let’s discuss.
Young single women often ask the question of what do men want. What are men looking for in a potential mate? Here’s what men say they are looking for in a potential mate.
Attractive
Nice and Kind
Intelligent
Independent
Easy to Be With
Notice how good cook, housekeeper, and mommy material are not the priorities stated by men when most are looking for mates. But somewhere along the way expectations and desired attributes seem to change.
Modern relationships start off with two young adults dating and getting married and possibly starting a family. Both were independent individuals prior to the nuptials with their own dreams and goals, yet once rings are on their fingers expectations and relationship roles slowly start to change.
Although this was a “modern” relationship, traditional roles and behaviors slowly rear their ugly heads. At first, it may seem cute cooking dinner every night for your man, and doing the laundry, and all the other domestic stuff but then you say, “Hey, wait a minute, I work too, so why am I doing everything?”
Did you know that women, whether you are a stay-at-home or work outside the home, do most of the cooking, house cleaning, and child care? According to one study by Oxfam and the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women spend two more hours each day on housework and child care.
Whether you work from home, are a stay-at-home mom, or work outside of the home, balance in household and child-rearing responsibilities is important for not only your relationship but your own mental and emotional well-being.
If you are feeling overburdened and unsupported, discuss it with your partner and do not allow resentment and frustrations to grow and fester. Communicate and let your feelings be known.
What are your thoughts on taming women and how we can go from independent women to domesticated homemakers by simply saying “I do”? Please share your thoughts. Do you disagree? What has been your experience? Please share!
“Stop making excuses for them. … They have eyes! They can see that the toilet paper roll needs changing and the wastebasket is full and that there is no more orange juice and we drink orange juice and orange juice is sold in grocery stores. They’ve trained themselves not to notice things because the less they notice the more we’ll just take care of it for them. They say, you should have told me you wanted my help when we had twelve people coming over for dinner! You should have told me not to sit in front of the computer looking at football scores while you’re running around doing everything by yourself. If you needed my help why didn’t you ask for it? I didn’t know you needed help. It’s madness.” ― Jeanne Ray, Calling Invisible Women