10 Communication Mistakes That Are Slowly Destroying Your Relationship

Do you know what the root cause of most relationship problems stem from? For many, the first thoughts that come to mind are finances or infidelity, which do cause relationships issues. But are cheating and financial disagreements the cause or the symptom of a bigger issue?

Good communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, but being able to communicate effectively with your partner is easier said than done. You can have disagreements and heated debates and still be communicating effectively.

In fact disagreements are healthy because it forces us to discuss our feelings and get everything out in the open.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that because you never disagree or argue with your partner that you have a healthy relationship because in fact, the experts would say that this is a not a sign of a thriving relationship, but of one lacking in trust, mutual respect, and authenticity.

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Poor or no communication in a relationship can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, resentment, and bad decisions to be made.

Do’s For Communicating With Your Partner

• Do Be Honest

• Do Listen Without Interrupting

• Do Be Receptive

• Do Be Kind

• Do Control Yourself

Don’ts For Communicating With Your Partner

• Don’t Yell

• Don’t Speak Disrespectfully

• Don’t Belittle

• Don’t Use Sarcasm

• Don’t Try To Control Their Response

When communicating with your partner you should always try to see their point of view, and focus less on proving your point. At the end of the day, no one wins if one of you is unhappy and feels unheard.

How you communicate with your partner can make or break your relationship. And break doesn’t necessarily mean breaking up. It just mean having a miserable partner who withdraws from you. Just remember that it’s okay to fight, but you need to fight fair.

What are your thoughts on communicating in a relationship? Do you agree with my do’s and don’ts? What would you add or remove from the list? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” - Tony Robbins

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How to Tell Him You're Ready For A Sexual Relationship

Not everyone wants or needs to be in a relationship to feel happy or complete in their life. Relationships are nice if you are with the right person, but also overrated if you are thinking that the relationship alone will fulfill you and give you a lifetime of joy.

More and more women are focusing on their education and careers, and putting marriage and family on the back burner. Many women are also choosing not to have children at all, and to have partners rather than spouses.

Relationship or not, a woman will still crave sexual intimacy. But the question is how to go about finding the right guy for the no strings attached relationship? And once you find him, how do you let him know that’s what you want?

As far as how to pick the guy, I say it’s all about personal preference. It will need to be someone with whom you have a strong physical attraction with and good sexual chemistry.

Whether you are bold or timid when it comes to seeking a lover, doing the six things I lay out in this blog should let him know what you are seeking. Either he will be interested and will reciprocate with similar signals or he will make it clear he’s not feeling it.

If he seems uninterested keep it moving because there are plenty of men who would gladly take his place.

6 Ways To Let Him Know You Want A Physical Relationship

Flirt

Flirt your little heart out. Flirt with your words and flirt with your body. Your flirting can be playful and subtle, or direct and obvious. How you flirt will need to depend on the personality of the person you are flirting with and where you are at when you are doing the flirting.

How you flirt in a bar will be completely different than how you flirt at work or at a PTA meeting.

Touch Him

Touch him occasionally, but don’t get inappropriate or creep him out. He may have the nicest chest or butt you’ve seen it a long time, and you just want grab him so bad, but you will need to resist.

Your touches should be subtle. Light touches to his shoulder, his forearm, or his hand. His body will respond and not pull away if he likes your hand on him.

Get Physically Close

We all have what we consider our personal space surrounding us. And it tends to bother us when people break this invisible barrier, unless of course it is someone we like or want to be physical with.

Test the waters and get close to him. If he is attracted to you he will be more than aware of your physical closeness, but will not move away. If he creates a physical distance he may not be interested.

Sex It Up

When I say sex it up, I mean look your best to attract him, but don’t try to be something that you’re not and overdo it. Dress and act as sexy as you feel comfortable with. You do not want to make yourself uncomfortable or feel insecure. Confidence is sexy, and he will be drawn to that.

Eye Contact

Strong eye contact is sexy, and says so much more than words at times. When eye contact is made between you and the one who is meant to be your lover or more, you will know it. You will feel it everywhere.

Tell Him

“Do you wanna bang” would not be my choice of words, but hey this is your sex life. If you are going for straight up directness, and feel like your invitation will be well received then go for it. Tell him what you want in your own words.

It’s a personal choice, and every woman has her reasons for opting for lovers over boyfriends and husband. Maybe she has been burned in the past with a bad divorce or horrible breakup, or she just knows herself and accept that she’s not the relationship type. Either way, no one is owed an explanation.

“It was the wildness of it that got me going: the primal lust, the sheer needs of two people in heat, quickly finding ways to express their sacred hunger to each other in animal passion.” ― Fiona Thrust, Naked and Sexual

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The Science Of Soulmates...Explained By Spooky Quantum Entanglement

Did I pique your interest just a little bit with the title? I mean after all, aren’t the terms soulmate and spooky quantum entanglement interesting topics to say the least? I am a romantic, and a bit of a nerd, so this combination of topics are most certainly up my alley.

I have a particular fascination with time, and whether or not it truly moves linearly, or if it even exists at all. This blog is all about time, and soulmates, and spooky quantum entanglement.

This is where romance and love, meets science and the possibilities of the impossible.

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The Defined

Many of the terms and their definitions used in this blog are complex, arguable, and not easily defined, but in my simplest terms, and Wikipedia’s, here you go.

Time

Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. The truth of the matter is that time is a human concept, which is purely subjective.

We use clocks and devices as a means of tracking time, but how slow or fast, and in which direction time moves is individual. We all experience time differently.

Soulmates

The true meaning of soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives. Death does not separate true love, and soulmates will always find their way back to one another. The modern definition of soulmate is more simplistic.

Soulmates are two people who are drawn to each other, and connect on every level. There is an intensity and passion between soulmates that is difficult, if not impossible, to replicate. Very science-y right?

Spooky Quantum Entanglement

Spooky quantum entanglement is a physical phenomenon which occurs when pairs or groups of particles are generated, interact, or share spatial proximity in ways such that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described independently of the state of the other(s), even when the particles are separated by a large distance—instead, a quantum state must be described for the system as a whole. - Wikipedia

Mind blown, right? Spooky quantum entanglement is not for the faint of heart, or the easily confused.

The Intertwined

Everything is made of particles, and that includes human beings. With the knowledge that humans beings are made of particles, and applying the theory of spooky quantum entanglement, can we not see the possibility of the connection of two people, via their particles.

Whether they are sitting right next to one another, or in different cities, they are connected and their bodies can react to one another’s. They are soulmates in every way possible.

Soulmates may not physically be together, whether the separation is due to geographical distance, other relationships, or different timelines keeping them apart, the pull still exists.

Think back on all of those times you would feel happy, or sad, or your heart would just start racing for some unexplained reason. Those were the times you were feeling most connected to your soulmate.

You were feeling each other’s emotions. You were reacting to and mimicking the joys, and the emotional and physical pains of your soulmate.

The Belief

What do you call that feeling when you meet someone for the first time, but you feel like you have known them before? Something about them is familiar. Or what about when you keep running into the same person over and over again, as if something, the universe perhaps, is pulling you two together?

We have created all of these terms to explain away the mysterious. We call events coincidence and refer to some experiences as deja vu, but are they really? It’s more comfortable to dismiss and explain away, then it is to question and challenge the accepted.

Some might say that I am oversimplifying one of the universe’s most complex mysteries. Maybe I am, but that does not make it any less of a possibility.

If you believe like I do that nothing is ever truly gone, just changed in form, then you must believe that distance, time, and not even death can separate two people who are connected by the very fiber of their beings.

This blog is a combination of research, fiction writing, and my own personal theories. I am neither a scientist nor a mathematician, but the facts remain that there is more of the unexplained in our universe than there is of the explainable. Do you think I am wrong? Prove it…

“Our universe grants every soul a twin—a reflection of themselves—the kindred spirit – And no matter where they are or how far away they are from each other—even if they are in different dimensions, they will always find one another. This is destiny; this is love.” – Julie Dillon

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6 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends

Some friendships are destined to take a romantic turn. A relationship rooted in friendship has a solid foundation, and the strong possibility of great compatibility, and many years of happiness. A beautiful friendship can become a beautiful romantic love.

Hopefully both individuals in this friendships are on the same page about whether or not the relationship will remain platonic.

We are often terrible at hiding our feelings from those who barely know us, and it is even harder to hide our feelings from those closest to us. Despite the fact that secret love, and crushes, are often obvious to the bystander, those involved are frequently clueless.

The signs that he wants more than friendship are there if you know what to look for.

6 Signs He Likes You More Than A Friend

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The Way He Looks At You

Do his eyes get all googly when he looks at you? Does he try to hold your gaze for a little too long, or stare at you intensely? If he is your “friend” but gazing into your eyes, he most certainly wants to be more than friends. Unfortunately for him, our eyes often betray us.

We cannot help but want to stare at the object of our affection. His eyes tell you how he feels, and deep, longing looks usually mean feelings of deep longing.

The Way He Communicates With You

Does he frequently find little ways to text you, call you, or just chat you up. You two have your own language, and he often teases you, or calls you by pet names. It is not just about the frequency of the communication, but also the way he talks to you.

He will likely be softer and gentler in his approach, or extra funny and charming. He will also be easy to talk to, which is a big one with women.

How He Treats You In Contrast To Others

Pay close attention to how he treats you in contrast to how he treats others. Do you find that you get to see the softer, funnier, more charming version of him than what others get to experience. While some people might describe him as cold, unapproachable, or quiet, with you he seems to be the complete opposite.

With you he tends to be warm, upbeat, and easy to talk to. So he is basically adorable and hard to resist.

The Amount Of Attention He Gives You

You are never far from his mind, so his focus is usually on you. In a group setting he will seek you out. If you are at a gathering he somehow always ends up by your side. He is always your biggest supporter, and advocate, and will not entertain a negative word against you.

If he cannot be by your side, he will keep you in his line of sight.

His Reaction To Your Presence

If your friend secretly wants more, his body will react immediately to your presence. When you walk into the room he will likely straighten his posture, he may unconsciously start to groom himself, and his eyes will beam, even though he doesn’t realize it.

He wants to look good for you. He may also get a little fidgety and nervous because he wants to make a good impression.

He Gets Jealous

He cannot help himself. The thought of you with another guy drives him crazy. Maybe you’re taken, or perhaps he’s taken, but no matter your current situations it doesn’t change the fact that he wants you to be his.

It doesn’t change the fact that he wants you all to himself, which is why seeing you talk to other guys, or hearing about your dates or relationships not only infuriates him, but also breaks his heart a little.

If a guy does more than a couple of these things in relation to a woman who is not his chick, he has got it bad. If you are interested in your friend as well, flat out confess, or find a way to let him know how you feel. However, if you are not interested, and he is permanently friend zoned, add some distance between you two so as to not lead him on.

What signs do you look for when think someone wants to be more than friends? Do you agree with my list? Please share your thoughts and experience!

“This isn't a crush, it's obsession. You are never not in my thoughts. Your scent carries across a room and paralyzes me with longing. I don't want to hold your hand. Part of me wants to set you on fire and hold you while the flame consumes us both, to eat your heart so I know that only I possess it entirely.” - Gwen Hayes, Falling Under

You can also find the video version of this blog on YouTube. Please don’t forget to like the video, and to subscribe to my channel.

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6 Signs He Wants A Serious Relationship…With You

We all come to a point in our lives when we want to slow down, find the right person, and have a life with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage for everyone, in fact many people are blissfully happy in coupledom, with no formal commitment.

However, at some point a decision is made to be in a committed relationship with one person, with the hopes of spending your life together.

Dating is fun, but most of us do not want to date forever. At some point you want to feel that the relationship is heading somewhere, but how do we know. Of course you can always ask him how he feels.

You can have that awkward “where is the relationship going conversation”, when likely you should already know by how he behaves in the relationship.

Signs He’s Interested In A Serious Relationship

He Makes You A Priority

He makes time for you and wants to spend time with you. He ensures that you know where you stand in his life and leaves no doubt that you are a priority to him. When he is running late, or has to work late he let’s you know.

You’ve Met His Friends and Family

Men are not going to bring a woman around their friends and family unless they see the relationship going somewhere. If he wants you to meet his family and friends, then he is telling you he is serious about you, and wants his friends and family to know it as well.

He Wants To Meet Your Family

Meeting the family of someone you are dating for the first time is nerve racking and a little uncomfortable. So if your guy is not only willing, but wanting to meet your family, it is a big sign that he wants a serious relationship with you.

He Makes Nice With Your Friends

A man who sees you as part of his future will want to have a good relationship with your friends. He realizes that they are important to you, and because they are important to you, he wants to have a good relationship with them.

He Wants To Be Exclusive

If a man is serious about you, he will not want to see or date other people. Also, the thought of you dating other guys would be unbearable for him. If he wants to see you and only you, and asks that you are exclusive, then he is saying he wants a serious relationship with you.

He Tells You

A man just coming out and telling you how he feels is obviously the best way to know how he feels, but sometimes getting men to discuss their feeling can be like pulling teeth. But if he is really serious about you, and sees a future with you, he will tell you.

When it comes to matters of the heart, our judgement can become clouded when trying to make a determination between what is and what we want. Life would be much simpler if we all “used our words”, and communicated our wants and feelings clearly. As this is not always the case, we have to read the signs, when we lack the courage for words.

What signs do you look for when you think a relationship is turning serious? Do you agree with the signs I say to look for? Please share your experience!

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — When Harry Met Sally

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5 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship

The signs of an unhealthy relationship are pretty easy to spot, although they can go ignored occasionally by those in bad relationships. Sometimes we can become so hyper-focused on what is going wrong in relationships that we fail to see what makes good relationships great.

It is important to be able to recognize your healthy relationship and keep doing what is working.

Healthy relationships consists of simple, basic elements that are needed for each individual in the relationship to feel complete and happy. It seems so simple, but if you are with the wrong person it will be difficult to have a happy, healthy relationship.

Signs Of A Healthy Relationship

Free To Disagree

In a healthy relationship, you will feel safe and comfortable disagreeing with your partner. Unless you are sharing a brain, you are going to have your own thoughts and opinions, and sometimes they will not be the same as your mate, and that's okay. Or at least it should be okay.

There should not be fear that your partner will be angry or hold it against you that you occasionally disagree with them, or that you voice your opinion.

Separate Hobbies

In a healthy relationship you recognize the importance of having friends and hobbies outside of the relationship, and are comfortable doing things separately at times. If you are with the right one you will have plenty in common, but there are things you will want and need to do with others.

When you come back together after having time apart, you will have missed each other, and have interesting stories to share.

Friendship

A healthy relationship starts with a great friendship. You should truly like one another and enjoy each other's company. You have great talks, loads of things in common, and shared interests.

You are best friends, although you both still have other good friends. Your partner is the first person you want to share good news with, you vent to them, and cry on their shoulder when you are feeling sad or frustrated.

You Have Fun Together

In a healthy relationship you enjoy being together and have fun. You should be able to completely be yourself. You can be silly, and dorky, and cute and corny and there is no fear of judgement. You have lots of laughs, a similar sense of humor, and laugh at the same things.

Biggest Fans

In a healthy relationship, your partner will be your biggest supporter, encourager, and fan. When you love someone you want to see them do well, and only want the best for them. Your partner should want to see you succeed in your career, your education, and the following of your dreams, within reason.

Like I said, it seems simple, but finding the right person to have a healthy relationship is hard. It takes self-reflection, understanding your wants and needs, and a whole lot of patience. It is very easy to spot a bad relationship, and when things are not working, but what about the healthy relationship that is working?

If you are in a healthy relationship, recognize it for what it is, appreciate it, and keep that relationship strong. If you do not have the elements of a healthy relationship you may want to rethink your situation. What are your thoughts on healthy relationships? What signs do you look for in a healthy relationship? Please share!

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” 
- Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger In A Strange Land

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Is He Ghosting You? 5 Signs He’s Disappearing on Purpose

Ghosting, the process of someone you love or care about disappearing from your life both physically and emotionally, cutting off all forms of communication, without any explanation. Ghosting be can be done by virtually anyone in your life from a romantic partner, or a best friend, to even a family member.

I admit that I have ghosted in the past, but hear me out before you judge. In a land far, far away, where there was no social media or texting, I was in a relationship. He was truly a wonderful person, whom I loved very much, but in my heart I knew it was not meant to be.

The last time I saw him, I knew it would be the last time. I didn't feel sad, or upset. I really didn't feel anything. We said goodnight to each other and would never speak or see each other again. There was no fight, or hurtful words, and technically actually no break up. But two people so different was never going to have a happily ever after.

When I think about it, we ghosted each other. Just disappeared from each other's lives, no explanation, and no goodbye.

5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted

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No Response To Texts

There was a time when you would send and receive good morning and goodnight texts to and from your man, and there was always an immediate response. If you are being ghosted, you do not receive any acknowledgment or response to your text.

Unfortunately a lack of response can leave you worried, or confused. You wonder if they are ok, or if the even received your text. This one is a little tricky so don’t jump to conclusions too fast. This could be a sign of ghosting or that someone lost their phone.

Drops or Blocks You From Social Media

Maybe you are someone who has a ton of friends and followers on social media, or perhaps only a few. Suddenly you realized you haven’t seen pictures or a status update from your bestie or your boyfriend.

You do a little research only to discover not only have you been unfriended, but also blocked on all of their social media accounts. You have definitely been ghosted.

They Are Always Busy

You and your guy used to always do dinner and a movie on Friday nights, but suddenly now he always has to work or has other plans. No one is that busy. If you are important to someone they will make the time to see you and spend time with you. If they don't have the time, it's because they do not consider you a priority.

They Avoid You In Places

You go to the same school, work at the same place, or go to the same gym, but you never see them anymore. A change in route, or routine in combination with the other signs is indicative that you are being ghosted.

No Eye Contact During Interactions

So you are pretty sure they have been avoiding you, and when you do run into them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and they will not look you in the eyes. They avoid eye contact because of guilt, and fear that you will bring up their recent behavior. A friend or love who cannot look you in the eye is likely no friend or love. They are ghosting you.

What To Do

If you think you are being ghosted, and it is by someone you truly care about and want in your life, confront them. You owe it to yourself, and to them, to create the opportunity to clear the air and make things right.

One time, and one time only, call them, email them, or make time for a face to face discussion. Maybe they are just not a good person and have decided they have no more use for you. Or it’s possible you did or said something that hurt or offended them and they are upset with you. Either way, move on after your attempt at reconciliation is ignored.

It can be said that the act of ghosting is a cowardly one, and I tend to agree in most cases. I also think that sometimes ghosting is necessary because there are no words. There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do, but fade away.

Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted anyone? Please share your experience!

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” - Mark Twain

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