Welcome to Charley’s Blog Life
Welcome to Charlene Eckstein's blog, where love, relationships, dating, attraction, and romance take center stage. Drawing from her experiences as a writer and author, Charlene explores the psychology and everyday experiences behind romantic connection—from recognizing the signs of attraction and understanding sexual chemistry to navigating relationships, dating, and finding love.
You'll also find lifestyle content, books, food and recipes, and videos along the way. Whether you're trying to understand your own relationship, decode someone's behavior, or simply enjoy a good conversation about love and attraction, you'll find something here to explore.
How Two Type A Personalities Can Build a Healthy Relationship
It’s no secret that in order to have a healthy, successful relationship, you will need to be able to compromise with your partner. However, it is also no secret that some people are far less willing to compromise than others, relationship or not.
In relationships, one half of the couple tends to be more assertive and takes the lead, so to speak, while the other partner may be more passive or less decisive. But what happens when both partners are assertive decision-makers who like to have their own way?
What is a Type A personality? A Type A personality is a behavior pattern marked by high ambition, intense competitiveness, a constant sense of time urgency, and a strong drive to succeed. Coined in the 1950s by cardiologists, it describes a high-stress, fast-paced approach to life rather than a formal medical diagnosis
Type A personality individuals tend to be outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. Type A personalities are often successful and hard-working.
So the question I pose is, “ can two Type A’s be able to make a relationship work?” Will a relationship of two Type A’s lack the balance all relationships need? Possibly. Or can two Type A’s who are extremely compatible strike the right balance and make things work? I have always believed that compatibility and chemistry are the most important elements for a lasting relationship.
I think two Type A’s can find everlasting love, and here’s how they would do it.
How To Make It Work With Two Type A Personalities
Choose Your Battles
We all like to have things our own way, but not all “wants” are that big of a deal to you, so why battle for it? Meaning, let the little things go, but speak up and stand up for what counts. If you don’t care all that much about where you go for dinner then let your partner pick, but if the new bedroom wall color matters then make your feelings known.
Be Considerate
Think about what your partner likes, wants, and needs. Let it be about them sometimes without it having to be a discussion or a fight. You are both Type A’s so you are known for speaking your mind. For example, you know a wet towel on the floor drives your partner crazy, and even though you don’t think it’s a big deal, you make the effort to pick up your towel.
There will be issues in your relationship that are not a big deal to you, such as a wet towel on the floor, but it costs you nothing to hang up the towel and avoid frustrating your partner.
Be Mature
Relationship maturity is as much about understanding yourself as it is about understanding your partner. As we grow, we learn, hopefully. Take the high road in disagreements, and fight fair because with your aggressive personalities things could get pretty heated with two Type A’s.
Communicate
Good communication is always a must for any healthy relationship, but with two Type A personalities the communication needs to be stepped up a notch because you both may be used to doing more talking than listening.
Respect Them
The Type A personality types are badasses. They are go-getters, who are often fearless. Give each other the kudos you deserve, respect who they are, and do not ask them to be less than they are for you.
Two mature Type A personalities in a relationship make the ultimate power couple. They know how to play off of each other’s strengths, and they understand the importance of knowing when to lead in the relationship, when to take a backseat, and when to allow their partner to shine.
What are your thoughts on two Type A’s making a relationship work? Are you a type A in a relationship with another type A? Is this relationship possible in your opinion? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” – Kavita Ramdas
Is Love at First Sight Real? What Psychology Says About Instant Attraction
Love at first sight is a phenomenon. You see someone across a crowded room and feel an instant connection and a gut feeling that this person is who you were meant to be with.
Fortunately, luck would have it that the one you fell in love with at first sight just so happens to be hot or gorgeous. No coincidence there, right?
Love, at first sight, is rare, but do you believe it can actually happen? Many will poo poo the concept of love at first sight, and rightfully so, in my opinion.
I mean after all, what could we possibly know about someone after just one sighting or meeting? But others are firm believers that it can happen, mainly because it has happened to them.
Movies and literature would have you believe that love at first happens all of the time and will lead to a “happily ever after” ending.
I mean, after all, didn’t Cinderella get her glass slipper after just one encounter? A moment in time can be wonderful, but what happens when reality sets in?
Here’s What Psychology Says About Love At First Sight
Most psychologists stress the importance of distinguishing attraction from love. People can form first impressions in milliseconds. Within seconds of meeting someone, your brain is already evaluating their body language, facial expressions, their voice, and yes, their level of attractiveness. There is also a perceived familiarity and trustworthiness with this attractive stranger. The immediate reaction to your initial assessment can be powerful and feel like love, but psychologists will say it is likely just attraction.
Psychologists say you can absolutely experience attraction, chemistry, and a profound sense of connection at first sight. Whether it becomes love depends on what happens afterward.
How Biology Plays A Part
That instant attraction you feel is not just happening in your heart and eyes; it’s happening in your brain. The dopamine hit you get when the initial attraction happens is an electric feeling. You feel excited and energized by the feeling. The oxytocin hit you get from being in close proximity to this person will make you feel bonded to them and more physically attracted to them.
Is Love At First Sight Possible?
Reasons To Believe In Love At First Sight
Instant Attraction
Amazing Chemistry
Soulmates
Gut Feeling
Reasons To Not Believe In Love At First Sight
Based Solely On Physical Attributes
Unknown Commonality
Masks Are Still On
You Can’t Love What You Do Not Know
I have often heard love at first sight referred to as “lust” at first sight, and I have to agree. While I have personally never felt like I have fallen in love with someone at first sight, I have had that instant attraction.
I have experienced seeing someone from across the room and feeling a strong emotion as our eyes met. The next time our paths crossed we hit it off and dated for a couple of years. Was it love at first sight? No, it was not love because I didn’t know him, I desired him. Big difference in my opinion.
Would it surprise you to know that more than 50 percent of people believe in love at first sight? It surprised me quite honestly. It just goes to show how much we link feelings of love to physical attraction, at least initially. I say initially because we tend to find people more or less attractive as we get to know them, which I think disproves the possibility of love at first.
What I believe can happen is that an initial attraction and fascination can grow and turn into everlasting love.
What are your thoughts on love at first sight? Are you a believer or a cynic? Has it ever happened to you? Can it be love at first sight if the feeling is only one-sided? Please share your story and experience!
“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. In that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” - Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces Of You
Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels
5 Signs He May Be Cheating (And How to Respond Wisely)
Trust is everything in a relationship. It is a miserable feeling when you think your partner may be stepping out on you. Chances are, if you are suspicious you have a pretty good reason to be so.
It's that gut feeling, and really just knowing your man. If something feels off, then that it is because something is off.
It is a big leap to go from having a suspicion to accusing. I had the unfortunate experience many years ago of playing detective in a relationship, and as much as I enjoy being right, I had hoped to be wrong in that situation.
The truth is, if you think he's cheating, he probably is. Or at least he wants to, or is thinking about it.
The 5 Signs Of Cheating
He Seems Distant
The distance you feel can come in the form of physical as well, but he is mostly going to be mentally and emotionally distant. He is no longer open with you and is not interested in you.
He is not interested in talking to you very much, and when he does talk to you, he is barely listening or engaged.
Physically he can avoid you by working late or avoiding your home life. He may also create distance by sleeping on the couch, or coming to bed after you have already turned in for the night.
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You Catch Him In Lies
Being lied to is infuriating and hurtful when it’s someone you really love and trust, but if he’s cheating, the lies are the biggest telltale. He is not where he said he was going to be or suddenly becomes unreachable and perhaps even stops sharing his location. He is suddenly working later and is not home when he said he would be. You casually ask him about his whereabouts, and you don’t buy his story. You can tell he's lying to you even though you cannot prove it.
He Avoids Intimacy
He avoids your touch and is no longer very affectionate. Kisses, hand holding, and cuddling are a thing of the past. He rarely initiates sex anymore, when once upon a time he couldn't keep his hands off of you.
When you do have sex with him, he is not there mentally. He seems to be a million miles away, and possibly even thinking of someone else.
A big sign of intimacy avoidance is failing to look you in the eyes. Gazing into each other’s eyes is extremely intimate and creates a connection. Failure to make that eye contact shows that he may be emotionally checked out of the relationship and focused elsewhere.
He's Secretive
If your partner suddenly becomes secretive, he is definitely hiding something. He doesn't allow you to see his phone, his emails, or his wallet. If you walk into the room unexpectedly, he will quickly close his laptop or close out of things on his computer. He has changed passwords and gets defensive when you ask questions.
The Relationship Feels Off
The relationship feels off, but is there someone else? Is he really cheating? Your partner has become different, almost like a stranger to you. It feels off because it is. You sense that he is no longer into you; he is no longer in love with you and is just going through the motions. Yes, he could just have something personal going on that he is not sharing, but I am also big on trusting instincts.
What To Do
First off, don’t freak out. You may want to freak out, but you need to keep a clear head. You do not want to act out of emotion and anger (yes, I know it’s easier said than done) and accuse your partner of something they just may be innocent of.
You have options if you think you are being cheated on. The first is to confront the situation directly and ask your partner if they are having an affair, including emotional and online affairs. Of course, this is the scariest option because you may not get the answer or response you are hoping for, but for many of us it is better to know.
There is also the big possibility that he is going to lie because he's not quite ready to call it quits and leave the comfortable home life.
You could take a more conservative approach, and just discuss your concerns about how you feel the relationship has changed, and tell your partner how it makes you feel.
The positive to this approach is that it puts your feelings out there, but if he is already done and emotionally closed to you, this conversation will go nowhere. In fact, the discussion may annoy him and give him an excuse to grab his keys and go get some "fresh air".
The last option is to play detective. This is probably the most mentally anguishing and painful choice to make, but you may find the answers you need. You clearly do not trust him, and will drive yourself nuts trying to find evidence that there is someone else, all the while hoping there is no evidence.
The positive is that you may not find a smoking gun, but the negative is that your gut is telling you he is involved or in love with someone else.
The Reality
A cheater is not likely to admit to cheating. They will usually lie through their teeth, until you have indisputable evidence of their infidelity. Trust your instincts in this case, because chances are your gut is on to something. They are cheating or thinking about it.
Counseling is usually recommended for marital issues, including infidelity. Of course this would mean that your man has come clean about his cheating, and is willing to do the work to get the relationship back on track.
I suppose the "positive" in the case of marital infidelity is that a man is statistically unlikely to leave his marriage for his lover. However, the negative in this matter is his motivation for staying in the marriage. A man will stay for financial reasons, for the kids, and to maintain a status and the appearance of a happy family life.
The 5 signs listed are not all inclusive. In fact, you may find that your man becomes extra nice and buys you gifts to help him alleviate his guilt. He may also have a revved-up sex drive with you to cover up his extra activities, and also to relieve his pent-up sexual desires because he cannot have the other woman in the moment.
We all have our relationship deal breakers, and only you know what is tolerable and acceptable for you. Many relationships survive infidelity, but I am not sure if anyone ever gets over the broken trust, and feelings of betrayal.
What are your thoughts on cheating? What signs do you consider red flags? Please share your experience!
"No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." - Unknown
Twin Flame Or Soulmate? How To Tell The Difference?
Whether you are a hopeless romantic, a believer in astrology and the zodiac, or just someone curious about the mysteries of the universe and how everyone and everything may be connected, you may find the terms twin flame and soulmate intriguing. If you believe in fate, and love, and that some of us are just meant to cross paths, be together, or are destined to be intertwined, forever, then this blog is for you.
I think most people know what a soulmate is but some have never heard the term “twin flame” before. The two terms are often used as interchangeable but actually have different meanings.
What is a twin flame?
Twin flames are believed to be part of the same soul but divided into two separate bodies. These two individuals form a powerful bond that transcends time and space when they come together. When meeting, a twin flame will remind you of yourself and you will be able to form a bond effortlessly.
What is a soulmate?
Soulmate has many definitions. The basic definition is a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. The true meaning of a soulmate is to have known and loved one another in many lives. Relationships between soulmates are magical and when romantic with passion that is off the charts. You cannot explain it, but there will be a connection between you and your soulmate that exists whether you two are together or apart.
What’s the difference a twin flame and soulmate?
The main difference between a twin flame and a soulmate is that you only get one twin flame while you may have multiple soulmates. The twin flame is literally your other half. Your twin flame may make you feel complete and feed your soul.
Soulmates are cosmically linked. You are meant to be and being together or being around one another just feels right. You may have a bestie who is your soulmate, while also having a lover or a partner who is a soulmate as well.
Which is better, the twin flame or the soulmate?
Many would say, myself included, that neither the twin flame or soulmate, is better or worse than the other because they each bring something similar, yet unique, to your life. There is room for both and if you are fortunate enough to find your twin flame or soulmate in this life, cherish them.
What are your thoughts on twin flames and soulmates? Have you found your person or person yet? Please share!
“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”— Maya Angelou
5 Signs He’s Deeply In Love With You
When you think you have found the one, you want to know if they feel the same way. It may be hard to tell if the guy you have fallen for is feeling the same way, and while you may crave to hear those three little words, just remember actions always speaks louder than words.
There are always signs early on and throughout relationships that are excellent barometers for determining the health and status of your partnership. Whether those signs are indicating a strong commitment from a loving man or red flags telling you to run the other way. The truth is plain to see if you are paying attention and know what to look for. Here are 5 signs he is deeply in love with you.
5 Signs He Is Deeply In Love With You
He Is Always Team You
A man deeply in love is always team “wife or partner”. He takes the you and me against the world to heart. He is not taking his family’s side over yours and he is definitely not taking his friend’s side over yours. He always thinks about your thoughts and feelings first because he loves you and wants to make and keep you happy. Even if he disagrees with you, that is a private conversation between the two of you and he never entertains outside interference in the relationship.
This man is also your biggest supporter and cheerleader. He wants to see you succeed, even if that means your success outpaces his because he views it as a win for you as a win for you both.
He Won’t Let You Struggle
Marriage and relationships can be tough at times and when you add children to the mix life can become extremely challenging. Whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home wife or mom, the man who deeply loves you will pull his share and then some when needed. He does not wait to be asked or directed, but instead, he steps in to be a reliable helpmate because he cares about your mental and emotional well-being.
He’s Mentally and Emotionally Present
A man deeply in love does not make a habit of coming home from work and plopping down in front of the television or hopping on video games and not engaging with his partner. Sure, we all need and are entitled to some “me” time, but you will not have to compete with your partner’s phone to get their attention or just to spend time with them. In fact, a man deeply in love cannot wait to spend time with you and to talk and share, or just veg out watching Netflix with you.
He’s Honest With You
A man deeply in love is open and honest with you. He communicates with you about how he is feeling and what he is thinking. He is willing to share his fears, his concerns, and his pet peeves in your relationship in a respectful and constructive manner.
He is also honest about the who, what, when, where, and why. He’s not keeping secrets or being sneaky. If you wanted to see his phone, messages, or emails he would let you because he has nothing to hide and he wants you to know that you can trust him.
He Is Putting In The Work
A man deeply in love wants his relationship to last and for that to happen, he knows it requires work and dedication on both your parts. If that means listening more, putting in more effort, or even going to couples therapy he is willing to do it because to him it is worth it.
There are ebbs and flows in most relationships. Passion may wane but I believe love should still be present if the relationship is to survive. There should be no expectation of perfection but if he consistently has your back, is a great helpmate, is present for you, is honest, and is doing his best to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with you then he may be a keeper.
What are your thoughts on signs a man is deeply in love? Do you agree with my list? What would add or remove? Please share your thoughts and experiences!
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." –Victor Hugo
Emotional Affairs 101 - 7 Signs You're Having An Emotional Affair
Emotional affairs are more common than many of us would like to think. They happen quite often in the workplace and friendship groups. They can start at any place people spend time with others and have an opportunity to develop non romantic relationships. Those non romantic relationships may take an intimate or romantic turn, and that is where things can get complicated.
The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.
Wondering if you or your partner may be having an emotional affair? Here are 7 signs to look out for.
7 Signs of An Emotional Affair
You’re Very Close
You are very close to your opposite-sex friend. You two are besties. You share thoughts, feelings, dreams, and even secrets. Your relationship is closer than the typical friendship and has a level of intimacy that mimics a romantic relationship.
Talking All The Time
You two talk all of the time. Whether it is face to face, on the phone, via text, or through emails. The communication between you two is frequent and has an element of angst. You talk more to each other than you do to your significant others and no topics are off limits.
You Think About Them All The Time
They are always on your mind. When you are not talking with them or texting them, you are thinking about them. It is almost obsessive. You may find yourself resisting the urge to reach out to them to share your good news, or bad news, or to just hear their voice because you miss them and crave contact.
The Relationship Is A Secret
Intentional or not, there is a level of secrecy to your relationship. Your partners and other friends are unaware of just how close you two are because you keep a large portion of your relationship hidden. And that’s how you both prefer it because the secrecy makes your relationship feel more special, and you realize others may not approve of your closeness.
You Share Secret About Your Partner
You share secrets about your partners with one another. You vent about your partners to each other. They seem to get you better than your partner, so when your partner does not react or respond to news or situations as you would prefer, the first person you think to go to is your emotional affair partner.
You Compare Them To Your Spouse or Partner
You may or may not be in love with your partner but when you compare your romantic partner to your emotional affair partner, your romantic partner doesn’t measure up. While things feel hard with your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, it feels lighter and easier with your emotional affair partner.
You Feel Like Time With Your Spouse Is A Betrayal
The more connected and attached you feel to your emotional affair partner, the more you question your relationship with your spouse or partner. As your emotional relationship grows, the more you secretly want to be with them, and the more not being with them feels like a betrayal of the relationship you two have. Sounds crazy but love and emotions can make us reckless and irrational.
An emotional affair will make you feel alive when you are missing something or feel dead in your committed relationship. But if you’re not willing to lose what you have with your current partner, and an emotional affair will blow that up, you need to change course and stay away from the temptation, and end the emotional affair. Or at least end one of the relationships.
Many people would rather their partner commit a physical affair over an emotional affair because sex is one thing but feelings and love is hard to come back from. The intimacy of an emotional affair goes deep and a partner accepting the fact that their spouse or partner fell in love with someone else is a hard pill to swallow and they may never get past it.
What Should You Do About Your Emotional Affair?
I cannot tell you what to do about your emotional affair because it’s your life and every situation is different. What I will advise is that you take a step back to figure out why you were vulnerable to an emotional affair in the first place.
Are there problems in your marriage or relationship that you are avoiding addressing or struggling with feeling trapped in your relationship? Do you bore easily in your romantic relationships and are always looking for something new? Or is your emotional affair partner the person you were always meant to be with?
There are no easy answers but how do you envision your life in the future? In your mind, is your future with your current partner or with someone else? Only you know what’s in your heart and mind.
What are your thoughts on emotional affairs? Have you ever been impacted by an emotional affair? Have you ever had one? Are you currently having an emotional affair? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.”
― Shannon L. Alder
10 Traits Of A High Value Man
A high-value man may be hard to come by but when you find him you may not want to let him go. A high-value man has many traits, and while he is not perfect, he definitely is a catch, and he just may be a keeper.
“A high-value man is defined as the epitome of masculinity, leadership, charm, and sophistication. He is a man of means and influence, loved by women, revered by men, and moves gallantly through the challenges of life with courage and pride.” - Andrew Ferebee
If you are trying to figure out if you have found your high-value man, here are the traits to look for.
10 Signs Of a High-Value Man
Assertive
A high-value man is assertive. He knows what he wants in his life and is focused on getting it, and if that want includes you, prepare to have your mind blown.
He is assertive but not aggressive. Assertiveness is sexy, aggressiveness is not.
Honest
He says what he means and means what he says. He is honest, he is trustworthy, and he is a man of his word. You can believe in and trust a high-value man.
Consistent
A high-value man is consistent. He is unwavering in his wants, needs, desires, and goals. His consistency and determination is the reason he is so successful in both his personal and professional relationships.
Confident
A high-value man knows what he brings to the table. He is confident but not arrogant. A high-value knows what he is capable of and what he deserves and he goes for it, and that may include his pursuit of you.
Knows His Worth
A high-value man knows his worth. He is not seeking approval or validation from others because he knows what he has to offer. He does not look to others to affirm his worth but focuses inward while holding himself to a higher standard.
He Understands People
A high-value man understands people. He has a high level of emotional intelligence. He is compassionate, he understands how people work, why people do what they do, and how to communicate and meet them where they are.
He reads the room and situations like no other, which often gives him the upper hand.
Wants A High-Value Woman
A high-value man wants a high-value woman. A high-value man wants a woman who is confident, assertive, successful, and honest and he does not feel threatened by her ambitions, goals, and self-reliance. A high-value man wants a relationship with his equal.
Successful
A high-value man is successful. He is a professional or a businessman, and he is pulling in at least six figures in his annual salary. He is heading to the top of his field or is already there because he is ambitious, determined, and focused.
Reliable
A high-value man is reliable. He is a man you can count on. He is dependable, he is responsible, and he is a safe place for you.
Charming
A high-value man is a charmer. His effortless charisma pulls people in. He knows how to make you feel seen and leave you feeling all gooey inside. He has a knack for making everyone around him feel special, especially the certain woman in his life and the woman he is pursuing.
A high-value man is not just one of the listed traits, he is all of them. It is a high bar to meet the standard of a high-value man, but that is what makes them so exceptional. That is what makes them such a catch. They are the unicorn of men. Rare and hard to find but rewarding and magical when you do.
What are your thoughts on the high-value man? Do you believe they exist? Do you have one? Please share your thoughts and experience!
"A good man will want you to shine. He wants you to be your amazing self. A good man loves to show off his happy, intelligent, amazing, powerful woman." — Anastasia Netri
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
Not all relationships last. Many relationships run their natural course and end amicably, while others crash and burn. In some relationships, you walk away from it a better person than when it started, and with other relationships, you leave thinking “what the heck” just happened.
In my opinion, no one should ever be blindsided by the end of a romantic relationship because the signs are always there. Always. But if you are unsure that what you are seeing are signs that your relationship is in trouble and heading towards its demise, here are the signs to look for.
5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
Avoidance
You don’t spend time with them or they don’t want to spend time with you. Time together is no longer enjoyable. Time together is an annoyance; a burden. So what do you do, you avoid them altogether. You spend time with others. You focus on your kids, your work, or your hobbies. Anything to distract from your dissatisfaction with your relationship.
Avoidance is passive-aggressive behavior and the most common sign that a relationship is on its last legs.
Annoyance
Every little thing you or they do annoys the other person. The tolerance level for imperfection is extremely low and the person cannot seem to do anything right in the eyes of the partner who wants out.
The annoyance sign tends to be extremely hurtful because you feel like you cannot do anything right and your partner will basically tell you so. They become dismissive and often verbally or emotionally abusive.
Do not tolerate abuse.
Infrequent or No Intimacy
Any intimacy feels forced and like a chore. They don’t want to hug, kiss, or show any form of affection, and when they do, it feels cold and insincere. They may have trouble even saying “I love you”.
Maybe you have very long dry spells of no bedroom action, or perhaps you have started to sleep separately. Someone conveniently sleeping on the couch or not coming to bed until long after their partner has gone to sleep is a big sign.
No Communication
Communication is terrible at best and non-existent at its worst. You two are not communicating your feelings, emotions, or desires. You are doing whatever you want to do, without discussion or consideration for your partner.
In the past, you would text if you were running late or double-check with your partner before making plans. However, in your new relationship reality, the courtesy discussions and agreements do not happen.
This is a sign that they are starting to see themselves as a “me”, not a “we”.
Personality Changes
Maybe they have not changed but you are certainly seeing a different of side them. You are seeing a side that is not interested in your happiness, your opinions, or your feelings. You wonder where the old them have gone, but they make no apologies or excuses for the change, and instead just tell you “this is who they are” and expect you to accept it or not.
This sign may consist of a lot of gaslighting but it is also laced with invitations to end the relationship so they don’t have to.
When you know, you know. And when it’s over, it is over. Relationships can get to a point of no return, and it is important to recognize when you are there. And once you recognize it, tell yourself it is okay to let go. You will need to let go for your own mental and emotional well-being. Remember your worth and know that sometimes being alone and happy can be the most fulfilling relationship you will ever have.
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any of these signs or issues in a relationship? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” ― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil
Relationships…5 Types of Men To Choose Your Own Adventure With
Despite popular belief, humans do not have to mate for life. The thought of being with the same person sounds comforting, or horrendous, depending on where you fall on the commitment scale, but given the frequency of cheating and divorce, is mating for life natural?
Many people are waiting longer to get married or choosing not to tie the knot at all. For those on the fence about long-term committed relationships, marriage or not, I recommend the “choose your own adventure” tactic to try out mini relationships.
The goal is to try out guys with different personalities and interests, instead of the types you usually go for. Experiment, have fun, and find out what type of relationship brings you the most satisfaction, emotionally, mentally, or physically.
5 Different Types of Men… Choose Your Own Adventure With One Or All Of Them
The Adventurous Guy
The adventurous guy is the one you travel and you try new things with. He is fun and exciting but not too keen on commitment. He may be an adrenaline junky but fresh, new, and exciting is what he craves.
He’s perfect for getting you out of your shell and getting you to try new things without any pressure. He doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. And you shouldn’t take him too seriously either. This guy won’t settle down and has a short attention span. Enjoy him while it lasts because it will not last long.
The Bedroom Guy
It’s pretty obvious what you would do with the bedroom guy. He’s your booty call on speed dial. He comes when beckoned, is very eager to please, and always leaves you satisfied. If he leaves you with more to be desired, lose his number.
But otherwise, enjoy the carefree, no strings attached bedroom adventures with a man who loves to give, as much as he loves to receive in the bedroom. Now, the bedroom guy may not be a keeper, but he may be worth a repeat visit.
The Proper Guy
The proper guy is smart, and successful, and makes for a great date to a work event or something you have to attend with someone who will blend in. The proper guy is aloof, private, and not particularly affectionate, especially in public.
Where the proper guy lacks in excitement, he makes up for in reliability. He is dependable and honest, and he is a gentleman. These are not bad qualities to have in a mate but if you are easily bored, he is not the one.
The Fun Buddy
The fun buddy is the guy you go out to get drinks with, have over to veg out in front of the television or take as your plus one to a wedding. The fun buddy is a good time, always makes you laugh, and there is never any drama with him.
The downside with the fun buddy is that he can be irresponsible, immature, and unfocused. He’s a good time, but not the most reliable guy. He does not do serious situations very well and is uncomfortable with complex emotions. He likes to keep things light, which can be a good thing, most of the time.
The Polyamorous Experimental Guy
The polyamorous guy likes to spread his affection around. Polyamory would never be for me because I do not like to share but I do see the advantages of the relationship. Relationships can be tiresome, demanding, and boring, so having someone else there to take up the slack or step in when you need a break might be nice. Although I’m still not sharing someone I call my man, I can’t lie and say I don’t see the appeal.
A relationship with two men at once and everything is out in the open sounds like an interesting concept. But as a woman, and a wife, it also sounds like a lot of work. A guy who is polyamorous is greedy and not likely to be satisfied for very long with the love of just one woman, so you should always expect to share him.
To be clear, this is not an anti-marriage blog. Do what you want! But since conventional wisdom is changing on the concept of monogamy, marriage, and committed relationships, I think it is worth it to have the conversation. Of course, this is not Divergent, and people are multi-faceted and layered, but they all have prevailing traits. Find out which is more for you, or you can just keep trying them all. Do you!
What are your thoughts on trying out the 5 types of men? Do you already know your type? Or are you perhaps open to seeing who else is out there who you have not considered that may fulfill you in a new and different way? Please share your thoughts and experience.
“There are three different types of men in this world: There are weak men- men who run and hide when life slaps them in the ass. Then, there are men- men who have a backbone, yet occasionally, then life slaps them in the ass, will rely on others. And then, there are real men- men who don't cry or complain, who don't just have a backbone, then are the backbone. Men who make their own decisions and live with the consequences and who accept responsibility for their actions or words. Men who, when life slaps them in the ass, slap back and move on.” - Madeline Sheehan
Holiday Movies To Watch This Season
It is that time of year again and if you want easy, stress-free, commercial-free, and yes a romantic Christmas comedy full of cliches, I have the list for you. Who doesn’t love a cheesy, romantic holiday movie? I know I do. I love watching them while cooking meals, baking cookies, online shopping, wrapping presents, or just vegging out on the couch or in bed.
While I love me some Love Actually and have finally conceded that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, don’t judge me, you will find neither on this list. You can just sit back with a glass of wine or hot cocoa and enjoy the fun, silliness, and the somewhat predictable Christmas movie love fest.
Here’s what to watch now on Netflix.
9 Holiday Movies Worth Watching Now
Falling For Christmas
In the days leading up to Christmas, a young and newly engaged heiress experiences a skiing accident. After being diagnosed with amnesia, she finds herself in the care of the handsome lodge owner and his daughter.
It was good to see Lindsey Lohan in a new movie. This is a typical cheesy Christmas movie but is also sweet and funny. You can watch it now on Netflix.
Love Hard
An LA girl, unlucky in love, falls for an East Coast guy on a dating app and decides to surprise him for the holidays, only to discover that she's been catfished. This lighthearted romantic comedy chronicles her attempt to reel in love.
This holiday rom-com encompasses all the typical elements and has just the right amount of cuteness and humor, and a little lesson on the perils of online dating. Sometimes people are not who they seem to be.
A Castle for Christmas
To escape a scandal, a bestselling author journeys to Scotland, where she falls in love with a castle - and faces off with the grumpy duke who owns it. - IMBD
It was great to see some familiar faces in this holiday romantic comedy. Think Blue Lagoon and The Princess Bride. Okay maybe that’s taking it back a little too far but you get my point. Holiday romance is not just for twenty-something-year-olds.
Operation Christmas Drop
Congressional aide Erica (Graham) forgoes family Christmas to travel at her boss's behest. At a beachside Air Force base, she clashes with Capt. Andrew Jantz (Ludwig), who knows her assignment is finding reasons to defund the facility. - IMBD
Set in the backdrop of real-life operations that help small pacific islands every year, this fictitious romance is a sweet reminder of the importance of generosity and the true Christmas spirit of giving.
The Holiday
Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. - IMDB
The Holiday came out over fifteen years ago, but it’s still fun and relatable, and in some ways, and perfect for this time of year.
A Snowbound Christmas
Marketing exec lands a spot on a big project but before the presentation, a snowstorm traps her and her boss at a resort where they realize there is more to their relationship than just business. - IMBD
I believe this originally appeared on Hallmark but nevertheless, this is a sweet, and family-friendly holiday movie.
A Christmas Prince
When a reporter goes undercover as a tutor to get the inside scoop on a playboy prince, she gets tangled in some royal intrigue and ends up finding love - but will she be able to keep up her lie? - IMDB
A Christmas Prince is great for the family to watch together. Very cheesy, and Disney-like but also sweet and heartwarming. It is actually a trilogy now, so you can also watch A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding and A Christmas Prince: A Royal Baby.
Holidate
Fed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way. - IMDB
This was a surprisingly entertaining rom-com. This is funny and cute but it is not family-friendly due to language and content.
The Holiday Calendar
A struggling but talented photographer inherits an antique holiday advent calendar, the contents of which seem to predict the future. Will this magical calendar lead her to love this holiday season?
I love the magical elements added to this holiday story. This is another family-friendly Christmas movie that everyone can sit down together and watch.
Some of these are old and some of these are new but they are all perfect for this time of year to curl up on the couch and watch. Or to just enjoy as you wrap gifts or relax. I have watched them all and hope you give a couple or all of them a try too! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!