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The 5 Traits That Attract Women To Men The Most
Just like women, men come in all different shapes and sizes. We all have a type, a personal preference so to speak. That one thing we look for in man after man. It could be dark hair, dark skin, or green eyes, but that's all aesthetics, right?
I am not going to lie, looks do matter, but only so much. I think often times we can meet people, and have that instant physical attraction, which is normal. But based on a guys personality, their visual appeal can go down hill very fast if talking to him is like watching paint dry. Or even worse, he knows he's good looking, and is an arrogant tool.
Ultimately, once you get passed the looks, whether someone is gorgeous, plain, or unattractive, it comes down to other attributes. Suddenly that plain faced or chubby guy, who once didn't warrant a second look is all you can think about.
Personalities, senses of humor, and intelligence all ultimately matter when it comes to attraction because attraction is not always just about the physical. Women will also want a mental and emotional attraction.
Here Are The 5 Trait That Attract Women To Men
Intelligence
He doesn't need to be Ivy League, but women want a guy that can hold his own intellectually. He must be able to sustain a conversation about various topics and show that he is knowledgeable. Smart men are sexy, and smart men can appreciate smart women.
Kindness
Women want a good man, and this starts with kindness. A man that is kind to others, will be kind and respectful to his woman. Kindness can be shown in the simplest ways.
A good indicator of kindness, or lack thereof, is how a man treats people in the service industry, such as waiters and housekeepers. If he thinks they are beneath him, then he is not worth your time.
Sense Of Humor
A good sense of humor is a must, and a guy who can make a girl laugh is very attractive. There will be tough days, and tough times, and having a guy who can bring some lightness is a treasure.
It also helps when a man doesn’t take himself too seriously and can laugh at himself.
Generous
There are many ways for a man to be generous. He can be generous with his time, generous with his money, and generous in bed. Generous men are men to be appreciated.
A generous man gives because he wants to not because he expects something in return. He is usually kind and caring, which are both wonderful attributes.
Confidence
Guys who are cocky, or arrogant are big turn offs. A man who is sure of himself, knows what he is about, and knows his worth are the things that make a confident man very sexy. He doesn't need to tear down others, or constantly have his ego stroked, but he has a certain air about him that makes a woman believe in him.
No man or woman is perfect, but we all have expectations and minimum requirements of what is needed in a potential partner. A good personality, and being of strong character are much more important and valuable than looks or money in the long run. After all, looks fade, and while money is nice, it will not make you laugh, it will stimulate mentally, and it will offer you comfort in your darkest times.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the list? What traits attract you? Please share your story or experience!
“One can love any man that is generous.” - Leigh Hunt
5 Signs He Trusts You
Trust is important to all of us. Whether it is family and friends, or a business partner or a lover, being able to trust the people in our lives matters. There are variations and different levels of trust. We trust different people in our lives, with different matters in our lives.
Men and women are different creatures. Women tend to allow themselves to be more emotionally vulnerable and open with their feelings.
While men tend to be more guarded, and sometimes closed off when it comes to conveying their feelings, emotions, fears, and failures.
If you want to know if a man in your life trusts you, there are some simple signs to look for. Chances are, if he is doing several of the five signs I have listed below, he really trusts you.
5 Signs He Trusts You
He Asks For Your Advice
If a man is asking you for your advice it means that he not only trusts you, but that he also respects you, and values your opinion. He respects your knowledge, your intellect, and perhaps realizes that you know him well enough to protect him from himself in some circumstances.
He Takes Your Advice
It is one thing to ask for advice, and a whole another thing to actually receive it, and put it to use. I can respect a man who knows what he wants, and what he wants to do generally, but no one has all the answers.
Sometimes we need to seek the advice of others, and if you are one of his go to people for advice, then that says a lot. Him taking your advice is a big deal. It means that he really trusts you.
He Is Vulnerable With You
When a man feels comfortable venting his frustrations, concerns, or fears to a woman in his life it means he considers you a safe place, and that he trusts you.
Men are not big on looking weak to women, but because he trusts you, he knows that you are not judging him. He knows that you want to be there for him and support him, which is why he is able to be vulnerable, and seek solace in your words or your arms.
He Doesn’t Get Jealous
Yes, he may get a little jealous if you are flirty with every guy in the room, and ignoring him, because that is seriously not cool. But he won’t get jealous just because a guy speaks to you, or you go out with your friends, because he knows your heart, and he knows that he can trust you.
He Confides In You
If a man opens up about his past, or his childhood, and shares his secrets with you, it means he trusts you. It is never easy to discuss personal details, especially sad and hurtful details from one’s past or childhood with anyone, so consider yourself lucky to be allowed into this place by the guy in your life.
We all need someone in our life who we respect and value their opinion. We all need our “person” so to speak. Whether a relationship is romantic or platonic, if a man trusts you enough to let you in and be vulnerable with you, you are important to him.
Do you agree with the signs that a man trusts you? What would you add or take off the list? Please share your thoughts and experience!
“Whether it’s friendship or relationship, all bonds are built on trust. Without it, you have nothing. “ - Unknown
Physical Attraction VS Mental Connection...Are They Equally Important?
It is not usual for someone to see a person, and instantly have a mental connection with them. Most people are visual, so physical attraction is often what piques our romantic, or sexual interest in another person.
Physical attraction often comes first, but there are times when a mental connection can happen almost instantly, or so I have been told.
Mental connections can occasionally be confused with strong physical attractions. You can desire a person so much that you create a mental and emotional connection in your mind that really doesn’t exist.
Once the sexual act occurs, or the attraction wears off, the mental connection “suddenly” leaves.
Physical attractions are honestly an everyday occurrence. There are attractive people everywhere, but good luck finding a deep mental connection with someone. They are rare, and they are special.
Physical Attraction
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Physical attraction is based on physical appearance, and how attractive you find another person. Physical attraction is about a pretty or handsome face, or a nice figure or sexy body. You desire them. You want them. You like the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, and even the way they smell.
Signs Of Physical Attraction
Big Smiles
Nervousness
Grooming
Touching
Lots Of Eye Contact
Mental Connection
Mental connection is not mutually exclusive from physical attraction, but it is so much more. A mental connection is about shared interests, similar intellect, and chemistry. You get one another, and just click.
Mentally you feel close to them, and you have a quiet, unspoken understanding about many things. You can communicate with your eyes, because with your mental connection, you often know what the other person is thinking or feeling.
Signs Of A Mental Connection
Conversation Is Effortless
You’re Comfortable Being Yourself With Each Other
You Can Read Each Other
There Is An Intensity To The Relationship
You Feel In Sync With One Another
You Share A Powerful Mutual Respect
Which Is Better?
Physical attraction is important, and the importance of being physically attracted to your partner should not be discounted. However, the challenge with physical attraction is the inevitable change of physical appearance over time.
We all age, and gravity will wreak some havoc on the body. If a relationship was primarily based on physical attraction, then the partners will surely become dissatisfied in the long run.
Mental connections usually take time to flesh out. A mental connection is not noticed from across the room, and usually happens only after interactions, and getting to know someone. It should be noted that a mental connection may also be realized after just one conversation.
In my opinion, mental connections win every time. Physical attraction is important, but looks fade. Also I have found that how I felt about someone as a person directly affected how I viewed their attractiveness.
I have met men in the past, and at the initial meeting I found them to be attractive. After getting to know them, I became turned off by their personalities, or lack of intelligence, and no longer found them attractive.
With mental connections, people can become more attractive. The deeper the connection, the greater the attraction. Mental connections often create love goggles, which prevents one from seeing physical flaws that they would normally zone in on, because they are so in love.
For me, it comes down to who would I want to spend the rest of my days with. Do I want someone who I find very attractive, but have little or no mental connection. Or do I want to be with someone I have an amazing mental connection with? I think the answer is obvious, but I believe it also depends on where you are at in your life.
What are your thoughts on mental connection versus physical attraction. Which do you value more? Please share your story or experience!
“Physical attractions are common, but a mental connection is rare. Once you’ve had the latter, the former will never be enough” - Unknown
6 Signs He's Interested In A Serious Relationship...With You
We all come to a point in our lives when we want to slow down, find the right person, and have a life with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage for everyone, in fact many people are blissfully happy in coupledom, with no formal commitment.
However, at some point a decision is made to be in a committed relationship with one person, with the hopes of spending your life together.
Dating is fun, but most of us do not want to date forever. At some point you want to feel that the relationship is heading somewhere, but how do we know. Of course you can always ask him how he feels.
You can have that awkward “where is the relationship going conversation”, when likely you should already know by how he behaves in the relationship.
Signs He’s Interested In A Serious Relationship
He Makes You A Priority
He makes time for you and wants to spend time with you. He ensures that you know where you stand in his life and leaves no doubt that you are a priority to him. When he is running late, or has to work late he let’s you know.
You’ve Met His Friends and Family
Men are not going to bring a woman around their friends and family unless they see the relationship going somewhere. If he wants you to meet his family and friends, then he is telling you he is serious about you, and wants his friends and family to know it as well.
He Wants To Meet Your Family
Meeting the family of someone you are dating for the first time is nerve racking and a little uncomfortable. So if your guy is not only willing, but wanting to meet your family, it is a big sign that he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Makes Nice With Your Friends
A man who sees you as part of his future will want to have a good relationship with your friends. He realizes that they are important to you, and because they are important to you, he wants to have a good relationship with them.
He Wants To Be Exclusive
If a man is serious about you, he will not want to see or date other people. Also, the thought of you dating other guys would be unbearable for him. If he wants to see you and only you, and asks that you are exclusive, then he is saying he wants a serious relationship with you.
He Tells You
A man just coming out and telling you how he feels is obviously the best way to know how he feels, but sometimes getting men to discuss their feeling can be like pulling teeth. But if he is really serious about you, and sees a future with you, he will tell you.
When it comes to matters of the heart, our judgement can become clouded when trying to make a determination between what is and what we want. Life would be much simpler if we all “used our words”, and communicated our wants and feelings clearly. As this is not always the case, we have to read the signs, when we lack the courage for words.
What signs do you look for when you think a relationship is turning serious? Do you agree with the signs I say to look for? Please share your experience!
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — When Harry Met Sally
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7 Signs He’s A Really Good Guy
Far too often men get a bad rap as being dogs, but fortunately there are many good men out there. They are not myths, or unicorns, and are not all taken, but maybe, just maybe, we tend to look in the wrong places. And unfortunately on occasion, we completely overlook the really good guy who is right in front of us.
I get it, sometimes the good guy in your life is a guy you have zero interest in. Fair enough, but just be sure that your dream guy wish list is realistic, and doesn't prioritize external qualities, over character and values. Otherwise, you may have buyer's remorse.
If I am being completely honest, in my younger years my dream guy wish list always consisted of hot guys, who were smart, funny, and fun. The good guy part was never on the list, I guess because I naively assumed that my funny, hot guy would also be a good man.
I quickly learned that while a man can possess all of these magnificent qualities, I also learned that a pretty face can often hide an ugly heart.
7 Signs Of A Really Good Guy
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He Respects Women
A good man treats women with respect. He does not refer to them in derogatory terms. A good man does not abuse women. And the biggie is that a good man does not see women as less than him because they are females.
He Is Dependable
A good man is a man you can count on. He is reliable and dependable, and always there for you. He is also there for other important people in his life as well. He is a dependable friend, son, brother, and co-worker too.
He Is Honest
A good man values honesty in a relationship, and recognizes the importance that it goes both ways. He is comfortable opening up and being honest with you, and he creates a "safe" environment for you to do the same.
He Is Kind
A good man shows his kindness, or lack there of, in the way he treats people, including you. He does not speak to you in a disrespectful manner, he does not put you down, and he does not hurt your feelings intentionally.
He Is Supportive
A supportive man is not threatened or jealous of your success, but instead wants to see you achieve your goals and dreams. He encourages you, offers advice when needed, and makes you feel like he is always team you.
He Is Caring
If a man is caring, he is comfortable showing his affection for you. Getting him to give you a hug, or tell you how much you mean to him should not be like pulling teeth. If he cannot show affection or seems cold and uncaring, you are likely dealing with an emotionally unavailable man.
He Is Trustworthy
A good man is trustworthy. He will work hard to earn your trust, and prove to you that he is worthy of your love. He earns your trust by keeping his word, and by being honest even when it means telling you something you do not want to hear.
There are more than a few good men out there if you know what to look for. It is all a matter of you deciding that a good man is what you want and not settling for less. Do you prefer a good man or a bad boy? What is your experience with finding good men? Do you think it is it hard to find a good man? Please share your experience!
"Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men." - Tracy McMillan
Cushioning....The Back Up Plan In Case Your Relationship Doesn't Work Out
Cushioning is the Plan B guy or girl kept waiting in the wings in case your current relationship doesn't work out. Here's a hint, if you have a plan b guy or girl, or someone waiting in the wings, your relationship is ultimately NOT going to work out.
If you have been cushioning, you are not 100 percent invested in the person you are with, or that relationship, and probably should find someone you feel more passionate about.
Cushioning is really just a new term for an age old relationship tactic. The relationship behavior is called cushioning because it is the fall back plan. A safe landing spot so to speak, so you are not left out there completely on your own when you break up or divorce.
While I always believe in having a plan A, B, C, for most things in life, I never once considered having other romantic partners as part of a back up plan. You are either in and committed, or you are out and want to move on.
Cushioning can be done by having an emotional affair, flirting and texting, or it can be with outright sex and cheating. I say outright cheating because each person has their own definition of what they consider to be cheating in a relationship.
Either way, the relationship is nearing an end, but like a monkey, he or she will not let go of one branch until they have the next branch firm in hand. Lovely, right?
5 Signs Your Partner is Cushioning
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Your Partner Is Being Secretive
They are being secretive because there is someone else, or several someones, and they are trying to hide them from you. It can be as basic as some light flirting in text, sexting going on, or an actual sexual affair. Whatever they are doing, they have a motivation to hide their phone activity from you.
The hiding of the their phone, taking calls in private, and secretive computer behavior are all telltale signs of cushioning, or let's be honest, flat out cheating.
He’s Inconsistent
Your partner treats you inconsistently because that is how they feel about you. One day they want to make it work and want to stay in the relationship, and they next moment not so much. Their heart is not in the relationship any longer, but they feel an obligation to stick it out. Whatever “sticking it out” means to them.
He’s Non Committal
They do not want to make future plans and commitments with you because they kind of want out, and want to keep their options open. They do not want to move in with you, get a dog, or even put down money on a nice vacation because they know it may complicate ending the relationship.
If they were always the planner and the dreamer in the relationship, and now they barely show any interest in plans, it does not bode well for a future together.
Distant
There has been a shift in their feelings for you, and a change in their behavior towards you. They cannot help it. They are not that into you anymore and cannot hide it. They may just want out because the love is gone, or they are torn between you and another. A person can only pretend for so long.
If they are engaged in an emotional affair, they will likely be distant, but it could be a little trickier to catch on to, and far more threatening than any of the other shenanigans. An emotional affair would be a biggie because that would mean they are in love, or at least believe themselves to be, in love with someone else.
Your Gut Says So
I am a big believer in trusting gut feelings, and if your gut is telling you your guy or girl has someone on the side, or one foot out the door, listen to it. We all get that sinking feeling when something is off, especially in relationships. Love yourself enough, and respect yourself to let someone go who doesn’t want to be with you.
After all, how happy can anyone really be with someone who is cheating, staying with you out of obligation, or loves another.
Cushioning is mainly considered a dating trend, but it can happen to any relationship, including marriages. While cushioning may seem like a way to protect yourself, you may really hurt others, and it is cowardly behavior. Cushioning is rooted in fear, insecurities, and selfishness.
n my opinion, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, and if there is cushioning in your relationship you are with the wrong person.
What is your experience with cushioning? Have you ever cushioned someone? Or have you ever knowingly been someone's cushion? Are you the monkey or the branch in the case of cushioning? No judgement! Please share your story or experience!
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.” - Shannon L. Alder
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5 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man
It can be difficult to recognize and accept that your partner is emotionally unavailable, but doing so is a must for your own mental and emotional well being. An emotionally unavailable person is someone who is unwilling, or unable to communicate, discuss, or share and open up about how they feel.
Good communication, especially when it comes to communicating feelings is a must for a relationship to function in a healthy manner.
It is frustrating to care deeply for someone, and not feel that love in return. Part of a healthy, loving relationship is discussing and sharing your feelings, but when you are with someone who is emotionally unavailable they can often seem cold and distant.
You will have an overwhelming desire to heal their wounds that have made them so closed off and emotionally stunted, but this will come at the cost of your own heart and emotional well being.
Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner
Commitment Issues
He likes to "casually" mention that he doesn't believe in marriage or monogamy. Or he often says that is not really the relationship type, or that he is not good at relationships. If he is saying this...believe him and get out of dodge fast.
This guy doesn't necessarily want to be alone, but he wants you in his life on his terms, and when it's convenient for him. It's about control and a power play for him.
He's Inconsistent
One minute he is crazy about you, he cannot get enough of you, and is making plans for a future with you. Then the next week you barely hear from him, and cannot get him to return a text or commit to a time to see you. This is a big red flag and should be a one and done situation.
He is all over the place, playing games because he can, and is not to be trusted with your heart.
Detached
Early in the relationship he was Mr. Charming, and that's how he reeled you in. Once he had you, he slowly became detached and disengaged from the relationship.
He avoids difficult discussions, he has bad habits such as drinking too much, and sometimes avoids you completely, except of course when you are putting out. He can be very cold at times, and easily disregards your feelings.
Rocky Past Relationships
He has nothing nice to say about his exes. They were crazy, or liars, or cheaters, or all three. But I am willing to bet if you heard their side of things, it was him who was the crazy, cheating, liar. If his past is filled with bad women, then he is the common denominator.
He is making himself the victim, and not being truthful about why those past relationships didn't work out. Every story has three sides, his is not likely the entire truth.
He's A Jerk
I know, this one is really hard to come to terms with. You want to see your man as a good guy, but be honest with yourself, and don't make excuses for his behavior. How is he really? How do your friends and family see him? Do you have to apologize for his behavior sometimes?
Being nice sometimes, while being an obnoxious ass the rest of the time makes him not a nice guy. In fact, it makes him a jerk who can be nice when it suits him.
The Psychology Behind Emotional Unavailability
There are many reasons as to why a man may be emotionally unavailable, the main one being his childhood. He may have grew up in an environment where expressing and showing emotions were discouraged, ridiculed, or possibly flat out not allowed. His role models growing up were also emotionally unavailable, and he modeled himself after them.
A man may also be emotionally unavailable due to having suffered a trauma. The trauma may have been in their childhood or later in life, but that trauma left them with emotional wounds. Sadly, a good old fashioned broken heart and betrayal can lead to a man being emotionally unavailable, and to being unable to be open again.
When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are unavailable. You are not going to heal them with your love, or change them and make them suddenly see the light. They have to be willing make the necessary changes to have a healthy relationship, and probably should get some counseling to deal with their unresolved issues.
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable is not a relationship, it is a project, and so not worth it. What are your thoughts on the emotionally unavailable man? Are you currently in a relationship or in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable? Please share your experience!
"Pity those who don't feel anything at all." - Sarah J. Mass, A Court of Thorns and Roses
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The Friend Zone...Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?
Can a man and a woman be just friends without one or both wanting more? The question is debatable depending on who you ask, but the short, honest answer is it depends. I have always had a lot of male friends, and they have never left the friend zone, and I never wanted them to.
I truly love and value my guy pals, both gay and straight. The friendships are somewhat different from my female friendships. The dynamic is different and fulfilling in unique ways, without the drama and challenges of a romantic relationship. They work for me.
I suppose the real questions is, "Is it possible that some of my male friends were just playing the waiting game?" Were they waiting for the right time to make their move, or hoping that I would see them differently? Which of course was never going to happen, because I see my close guy friends like brothers.
Yes, I can find them attractive, but in a non sexual way. They might as well be eunuchs.
The Friend Zone vs Free Parking
Now, be sure not to confuse the friend zone with the free parking zone. I refer to the guy you are really cool with, but there is also potential for more, as being in free parking zone.
You are his friend and content to keep it that way for now, but you are also careful not to do, or say anything to sabotage a possible relationship in the future. So you don't burp in front of him, or pig out, and definitely do not discuss any gross bodily functions with him.
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There is also sexual tension in free parking, and occasional flirting and looks that are more friendly than not. Maybe the timing is not right, and nothing will ever happen. Or just maybe fate will bring you two together. There is possibility in free parking.
In taking a very unscientific poll, I discovered more women than men thought the opposite sex friendships were possible. Most of the women I know have close male friends, and said they do not have a problem with their man having female friends, but there were some restrictions.
Men on the other hand were less definitive in their response. A couple guys didn't mind at all. While others were not okay with the wife or girlfriend having male friends at all. Is it because they worry that he is thinking what they think when they are with their female "friends"? Hmm.
Have I been so naive this whole time? I refuse to believe so. Yes, I understand that men think about sex way more than women do. And I know that some of my closest male friends over the years have had deep feelings for me. Some confessed at the time, and others told me years later.
Unfortunately, as wonderful as they were, I just could not see them in that way. In theory, if a male and female are good friends then they are very compatible. They have a lot in common and truly enjoy each other's company.
Friendship is the foundation for any long lasting relationship, but you also need romantic and sexual chemistry.
So what are your thoughts? Can men and women be just friends? Are you currently friendzoning someone? Have you been friendzoned and want out? Or just maybe you are in free parking, waiting for the right time to make your move. Please share!
"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever” - Dave Matthews Band
5 Signs He May Be The One...And Why You Need To Explore The Possibilities
I have always been reluctant to refer to a man in my life as "the one”. Being the one comes with a lot pressure, expectations, and the huge opportunity for failure. None of us want to fail, and we sure do not want to feel like we are letting someone down.
Having said all of that, I actually do believe in "the one". I am not sure when my opinion changed on this particular subject, and I make no promises that it won’t change again, but I do believe in the one. Now, this doesn’t mean that I think being with the one automatically guarantees your happily ever after.
Timing is everything. You and the one you are truly meant to be with have to come together at the right time in your lives for the magic to happen, and you have to continue to fan the flames to keep your fire going.
The 5 Signs He May Be The One
Amazing Chemistry
I am a big believer that great chemistry is the key component to a great relationship. If you have great chemistry, chances are you share similar interests, similar backgrounds, and similar values and life views.
When there is amazing chemistry, in addition to your commonality, you also tend to have a strong attraction on a mental, physical, and emotional level.
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Can't Stop Thinking About Him
When apart, he is never far from your mind. Your mind wonders frequently, and you often day dream about him. You wonder what he is doing, is he missing you too, and if you are thinking about each other at the same time.
It feels like torture because everything reminds you of him. His cute smile, his sexy voice, and most of all the way he looks at you.
The Way You Feel When With Him
When you are with him you feel happy, excited, and safe. There is an affect his presence has on you. When you see him or are with him, you feel giddy, and have butterflies in your stomach. You also feel safe. He knows you, he understands you, and he accepts you, flaws and all.
There is no judgment, just support and good advice when needed.
He Listens To You
Whether you are venting or talking about your life's dreams, he listens. He listens because he cares. He listens because your thoughts and feelings matter. He is willing to sit quietly and listen, or offer advice when requested. Either way, he is reassuring and supportive, and somehow always makes you feel better.
He Remembers
He remembers what you say because he actually listens to you. He remembers your favorite places, your favorite movie, and of course your birthday. Not only does he remember, but he does and says thoughtful things based on his knowledge of you. We tend to remember what matters most to us.
There are no guarantees in life, so a relationship with the “one” may not work out. But isn’t it worth a shot? The possibilities for a wonderful life with someone who truly gets and understands you is worth the risk of possible disappointment and heartbreak.
If you have found the one and you are not in a relationship with them currently, make it happen. Be brave, make your feelings known, and let what is meant to be “be”. If you are already in a relationship with the “one” don’t let the fire go out.
What are your thoughts on "the one”? Have you found him yet? Did you find him and it not work out? Please share!
"True love cannot be found where is does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does." - Torquato Tasso -t
He's Not A Good Guy...10 Signs Of A No Good Man
There are many good men in this world, just perhaps not enough to go around. I have been fortunate these past 20 years to see an example of a really good man. I have honed my skills, and can recognize the no good man much more quickly nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case for me.
In my early twenties I fell hard for a no good man. Today I look back on that relationship, and smile because I learned so much from it. I would describe him as a very handsome con artist.
I overlooked red flags far too long, and doubted my inner voice. He was a cheater and a liar, and I was young and naive.
One day I woke up, and it was like a spell had been broken. I saw him for who he really was, and finally was strong enough to be free of him. Fortunately, I was not foolish, or desperate enough to marry him, or have children with him. But we were engaged for a period of time.
That relationship in my early twenties changed me, and I said never again. I learned my lesson, became more guarded, and demanded a certain level of treatment from future partners. I share my PG stories with young women in my life, in hopes of saving them "some" heartache.
Heartbreak is inevitable, but there are some ways to avoid the no good man and not get conned.
Here Are The 10 Signs I Say To Look For In A No Good Man...
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Your Friends and Family Do Not Like Him
Love makes us blind and we tend to overlook, make excuses for, and block out all of our loves’ faults. This one is a huge red flag. If your family and friends do not like your guy, it is because they are seeing the real him that you are choosing not to see. They love you, and want the best for you, and chances are, he is not it.
You catch him in lies, or his stories are inconsistent. He is not a trust worthy individual, and you find yourself questioning everything with him. You cannot trust a liar, and if you cannot trust your man, you cannot have a healthy, happy relationship.
Controlling
A man who tries to control you does not respect you, but wants to own you. He tells you who to be friends with, how to act, and even what to say. Controlling men are very insecure.
Rumors Follow Him
A man who constantly has negative “press” is a man who is likely up to no good. There is some truth to what has been said about him. Do not believe his bogus reasons as to why there is always something bad being said about him.
Question why his reputation is so poor that people so readily believe the worst of him. Trust me, it is not because people are jealous of him or your coupledom.
Something Seems Off
He seems wonderful, nearly perfect for you, but if something feels off about him then there probably is. Trust your gut instinct, which is picking up on some behaviors you are ignoring on a conscious level..
Doesn't Keep His Word
A man with empty promises, or no follow through is no good. He is all talk and frequently lets you down. He has big plans, and big dreams, but no effort to actually do anything.
Unreliable
He doesn’t show up when he says he will, or is not available or there when you need him. He is frequently late, shows signs of laziness, and is never willing to inconvenience himself.
No Friends
Be very wary of a man who cannot make, or keep friends. This guy will be very clingy, and try to keep you all to himself. If he doesn’t have friends, it is because he runs people off with his behavior and attitude. Other men find him unlikeable, although he will try to say it is because they are “jealous”.
He Values Things Over People
This is a man whose value system is really screwed up. He puts importance on labels, expensive things, and he is a braggart. A man who brags about things shows his immaturity, and a lack of social awareness. He might as well be wearing a sign that says ”douchebag” on it.
He Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself
If he makes you feel bad about your clothes, your looks, your intelligence, or your cooking, he is no good. He should lift you up, not bring you down. He plays games, and loves to emotionally manipulate you into doing what he wants.
This list is not all inclusive, and the no good man does not need meet all of these signs. Ultimately, we all have to decide if he is "no good". I think it goes without saying that a man who is physically aggressive, or violent towards you is no good. Violence aside, it is up to the individual to decide what they are willing to accept.
For me, trust is everything. I know that when I really care about someone as a person, I only want to see the good in them. I still have blind spots for people close to me, so I always have to ask myself if I am ignoring red flags.
Do you agree with the signs of a no good man? Are you ignoring red flags with someone? Please share your story or experience!
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. - Benjamin Franklin