Maria V. Snyder, One Author, Three Great Fantasy Book Series For Women And Girls

I ran a book club a few years back, and it was great. Each month a club member would select the book to read and agree to host the meeting. There were no rules for the genre of books, it was just whatever interested the hostess.  One month a friend of mine chose the book “The Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder for our book of the month.  

Prior to this book club selection, I had never heard of  this author, nor was I particularly into the fantasy genre. I felt obligated to read the book to be able to reasonable discuss it at the next meeting. I started reading with dread, and within two chapters I was hooked.

The Study Series (Soulfinders)

The Study series was my introduction to the fantasy world of Ixia and Sitia. The Study series has many wonderful characters, but the story primarily resolves around Yelena, a young woman discovering her magical powers in a world where magic has been forbidden, and danger lies all around.

Not only will you fall in love with Yelena, but with as Valek well, her partner and love. As Yelena discovers her powers, she uncovers who she is, where she came from, and finds her purpose. Yelena is no damsel in distress, and rescues others, and sometimes needs saving as well, from herself. 

Poison Study

Murder, mayhem and magic…Locked in a coffin-like darkness, there is nothing to distract me from my memories of killing Reyad. He deserved to die—but according to the law, so do I. Here in Ixia, the punishment for murder is death. And now I wait for the hangman's noose. 

But the same law that condemns me may also save me. Ixia's food taster—chosen to ensure that the Commander's food is not poisoned—has died. And by law, the next prisoner who is scheduled to be executed—me—must be offered the position. - Book Excerpt

Magic Study

A lesson in loyalty—a master class in intrigue...So far, I've managed to survive. You would think after being kidnapped as a child, imprisoned in my teens and released to become a poison taster, I would have endured enough. But no. The discovery of my magical abilities—powers forbidden in Ixia—has resulted in an execution order. My only chance is to flee to Sitia, my long-lost birthplace.

But Sitia is unfamiliar. I'm treated like an enemy—even by my own brother. Plus I can't control my powers. I want to learn about my magic, but there isn't time. A rogue magician has emerged and I'm targeted as his next victim. Will my magical abilities save me…or be my downfall? - Book Excerpt

Fire Study

The Apprenticeship is Over—Now the Real Test has Begun. When word that Yelena is a Soulfinder—able to capture and release souls—spreads like wildfire, people grow uneasy. Already Yelena's unusual abilities and past have set her apart. As the Council debates Yelena's fate, she receives a disturbing message: a plot is rising against her homeland, led by a murderous sorcerer she has defeated before….

Honor sets Yelena on a path that will test the limits of her skills, and the hope of reuniting with her beloved spurs her onward. Her journey is fraught with allies, enemies, lovers and would-be assassins, each of questionable loyalty. Yelena will have but one chance to prove herself—and save the land she holds dear. - Book Excerpt

The Glass Series

The Glass series is revolves around Opal Cowan, a seemingly ordinary girl, with extraordinary abilities. Opal's story begins in the Study series, and continues in the Glass series. Opal comes from a family of glassmakers, and is a glass maker herself. The interesting and amazing thing about Opal glass is the touch of magic all of pieces consist of. Opal's gifts are unique, valuable, and dangerous to many, which is why Opal is a threat.

Storm Glass - As a glassmaker and a magician-in-training, Opal Cowan understands trial by fire. Someone has sabotaged the Stormdancer clan's glass orbs, killing their most powerful magicians. The Stormdancers—particularly the mysterious and mercurial Kade—require Opal's unique talents to prevent it from happening again. But when the mission goes awry, Opal must tap into a new kind of magic. Yet the further she delves into the intrigue behind the glass and magic, the more distorted things appear. With lives hanging in the balance—including her own—Opal must control her powers…powers that could lead to disaster beyond anything she's ever known. - Book Excerpt

Sea Glass - Student glass magician Opal Cowan’s newfound ability to steal a magician’s powers makes her too powerful. Ordered to house arrest by the Council, Opal dares to defy them, traveling to the Moon Clan’s lands in search of Ulrick, the man she thinks she loves. Thinks, because another man—now her prisoner—claims Ulrick’s desire for blood magic has eclipsed his passion for her. 

In hostile territory, without proof or allies, Opal isn’t sure whom to trust. And now everyone is after her special powers for their own deadly gain, making her path more dangerous than she could have ever imagined. - Book Excerpt

Spy Glass - After siphoning her own blood to defeat her enemy, Opal Cowan has lost her powers. More, she’s immune to the effects of magic. Opal is now an outsider looking in, spying on those with the powers she once had, powers that make a difference in her world.

Until spying through the glass becomes her new power. Suddenly the beautiful pieces she makes flash in the presence of magic. She also discovers that someone has stolen some of her blood—and that finding it might let her regain her powers. Or learn if they’re lost forever… - Book Excerpt

The Healer Series

The Healer series is my favorite of all Ms. Snyder's series. Avry is a powerful, selfless woman, with healing abilities like no other. A plague has killed many people, and Avry and healers like her have been blamed. Filled with guilt of all the deaths she may be responsible for, and dealing with the loss of her loved ones as well Avry goes on the run.

Avry, always the healer, is determined to discover what caused the plague, and to find a cure. On her journey, Avry saves many lives, and makes many enemies and allies too, including Kerrick her love, and Tohon an evil Prince who has a mental hold on her.

Touch of Power - Laying hands upon the injured and dying, Avry of Kazan absorbs their wounds and diseases into herself. But rather than being honored for her skills, she is hunted. Healers like Avry are accused of spreading the plague that has decimated the Fifteen Realms, leaving the survivors in a state of chaos.

Stressed and tired from hiding, Avry is abducted by a band of rogues who, shockingly, value her gift above the golden bounty offered for her capture. Their leader, an enigmatic captor-protector with powers of his own, is unequivocal in his demands: Avry must heal a plague-stricken prince—leader of a campaign against her people. As they traverse the daunting Nine Mountains, beset by mercenaries and magical dangers, Avry must decide who is worth healing and what is worth dying for. Because the price of peace may well be her life… - Book Excerpt

Scent Of Magic - As the last Healer in the Fifteen Realms, Avry of Kazan is in a unique position: in the minds of friends and foes alike, she no longer exists. Despite her need to prevent the megalomaniacal King Tohon from winning control of the Realms, Avry is also determined to find her sister and repair their estrangement. And she must do it alone, as Kerrick, her partner and sole confidant, returns to Alga to summon his country into battle.

Though she should be in hiding, Avry will do whatever she can to support Tohon’s opponents. Including infiltrating a holy army, evading magic sniffers, teaching forest skills to soldiers and figuring out how to stop Tohon’s most horrible creations yet: an army of the walking dead—human and animal alike and nearly impossible to defeat. - Book Excerpt

Taste Of Darkness - She’s fought death and won. But how can she fight her fears? Avry knows hardship and trouble. She fought the plague and survived. She took on King Tohon and defeated him. But now her heart-mate, Kerrick, is missing, and Avry fears he’s gone forever.

But there’s a more immediate threat. The Skeleton King plots to claim the Fifteen Realms for his own. With armies in disarray and the dead not staying down, Avry’s healing powers are needed now more than ever. Torn between love and loyalty, Avry must choose her path carefully. For the future of her world depends on her decision… - Book Excerpt

There are many other books by Ms. Snyder not mentioned in the above list. If you are looking for something for young adults (YA), and dystopian type genre, I recommend Inside Out and Outside In by Ms. Snyder. The books are great for preteens and teens and has a little bit of a mystery.

I hope you give these books a try. I never would have thought they were my thing, but I love to read, and these books fed my obsession. Are you familiar with these series? If so, what is your favorite?

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5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted

Ghosting, the process of someone you love or care about disappearing from your life both physically and emotionally, cutting off all forms of communication, without any explanation. Ghosting be can be done by virtually anyone in your life from a romantic partner, or a best friend, to even a family member.

I admit that I have ghosted in the past, but hear me out before you judge. In a land far, far away, where there was no social media or texting, I was in a relationship. He was truly a wonderful person, whom I loved very much, but in my heart I knew it was not meant to be.

The last time I saw him, I knew it would be the last time. I didn't feel sad, or upset. I really didn't feel anything. We said goodnight to each other and would never speak or see each other again. There was no fight, or hurtful words, and technically actually no break up. But two people so different was never going to have a happily ever after.

When I think about it, we ghosted each other. Just disappeared from each other's lives, no explanation, and no goodbye.

5 Signs You’re Being Ghosted

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No Response To Texts

There was a time when you would send and receive good morning and goodnight texts to and from your man, and there was always an immediate response. If you are being ghosted, you do not receive any acknowledgment or response to your text.

Unfortunately a lack of response can leave you worried, or confused. You wonder if they are ok, or if the even received your text. This one is a little tricky so don’t jump to conclusions too fast. This could be a sign of ghosting or that someone lost their phone.

Drops or Blocks You From Social Media

Maybe you are someone who has a ton of friends and followers on social media, or perhaps only a few. Suddenly you realized you haven’t seen pictures or a status update from your bestie or your boyfriend.

You do a little research only to discover not only have you been unfriended, but also blocked on all of their social media accounts. You have definitely been ghosted.

They Are Always Busy

You and your guy used to always do dinner and a movie on Friday nights, but suddenly now he always has to work or has other plans. No one is that busy. If you are important to someone they will make the time to see you and spend time with you. If they don't have the time, it's because they do not consider you a priority.

They Avoid You In Places

You go to the same school, work at the same place, or go to the same gym, but you never see them anymore. A change in route, or routine in combination with the other signs is indicative that you are being ghosted.

No Eye Contact During Interactions

So you are pretty sure they have been avoiding you, and when you do run into them it is awkward, uncomfortable, and they will not look you in the eyes. They avoid eye contact because of guilt, and fear that you will bring up their recent behavior. A friend or love who cannot look you in the eye is likely no friend or love. They are ghosting you.

What To Do

If you think you are being ghosted, and it is by someone you truly care about and want in your life, confront them. You owe it to yourself, and to them, to create the opportunity to clear the air and make things right.

One time, and one time only, call them, email them, or make time for a face to face discussion. Maybe they are just not a good person and have decided they have no more use for you. Or it’s possible you did or said something that hurt or offended them and they are upset with you. Either way, move on after your attempt at reconciliation is ignored.

It can be said that the act of ghosting is a cowardly one, and I tend to agree in most cases. I also think that sometimes ghosting is necessary because there are no words. There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do, but fade away.

Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted anyone? Please share your experience!

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” - Mark Twain

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

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Father's Day Gift Ideas

Father's Day is here again, and it can be nerve racking to find just the gift for the man that has everything, or never wants anything. While this blog will be full of gift suggestions for your man, and your dad, I think the best way to go is to request a gift list. This is common practice in my family, for adults and kids alike. This ensures gift satisfaction since they are getting exactly what they asked for. The below recommendations are just to add an element of surprise, and wow factor to your special one’s Father's Day.

The key to great gift giving is knowing your loved one well, but let’s be honest, some people are just difficult to shop for. For the guy who doesn’t know what he wants, or does not “need” anything, go the gift card route. Get him a gift card to his favorite store, and call it a day.

Gift Ideas

If your children are young then you know your kids need help getting their father his gift. If they are older they still need help with remembering to be "thoughtful" or coming up with ideas for a gift. He is not your dad, but of course we want to show appreciation for the man who has been a wonderful father or father figure.

If your fella has hobbies then I suggest a bundle of gifts with that theme. If he loves to golf, I recommend golf balls, tees, gloves, hat, and a nice trunk locker bag for him to organize his stuff. If he is a hiker or camper I suggest you hit up REI and go crazy, no seriously. For the hiking/camping bundle I suggest hat, sunblock, ready to eat meals, warm socks, sleeping bag, and tent night lights.

For the "manly man" go for grill stuff or liquor. ManCrates.com has some of cutest gift ideas around for men. A ManCrate is basically a gift basket of meats, nuts, grill stuff and many other themes, but the cool factor is that it comes in a small crate and crowbar to pry it open with. Now if your guy is a scotch drinker, a good gift bundle idea would be a nice bottle of scotch, a decanter for it, and two scotch glasses that are customized with his initials.

Lastly, let’s not forget the sports lover. I would recommend ball caps, tee shirts, and jerseys of his favorite team. If you could get your hands on some sports memorabilia, or playoff tickets that would make his year.

We tend to go out all for Mother's Day, but sometimes the great men in our lives who are also great dads tend to be forgotten. It makes me happy to try to find new and exciting ways to surprise my loved ones, and show them how much they mean to me. How do you do it with your family and friends? Do you wing it, asks for lists, or just do gift cards?

Photo by Pixbay.com

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6 Things Needed To Be Happy In A Relationship...For Me

The are many elements needed to have a good relationship. You need trust, good communication, and compatibility just to name a few. But what about being truly happy in your relationship? I believe that you can have a good relationship, with a good person, but still feel like something is missing.

Happiness is very a personal, individual thing. What makes me happy in a relationship will not necessarily be what makes you happy in your relationship. Happiness is the state of being happy. Being happy is all about joy, well being, and being in that good place.

6 Things Needed To Be Happy In Relationship

Great Conversation

Being with someone who is capable of holding an interesting, intelligent conversation is very important to me. I want someone with whom after years together we can still have great talks, heated debates, and challenge each other's thinking. 

In order to be a great conversationlist, one also needs to be a great listener. No one is happy all day everyday, but it is nice to be able to talk to someone you trust to vent and get advice.

Laughter

Being able to have fun, laugh at yourself, and laugh with each other deepens your relationship bond. Laughter is what will get you through those tough times, as life's inevitable difficulties arise. Laughter is healing, calming, and a big stress reliever.

Adventure

I am a bit of a homebody by nature. I love curling up on my couch with a great book, or binge watching Netflix. But I also love a great adventure. The more unplanned or unexpected, the better.

I need someone who is willing to pack a bag on a Thursday night for a last minute trip Vegas or Vermont.

Comfortable Silence

While I love a good conversation, I also enjoy quiet time together.  You know you are in a good place with each other when you do not feel the need to talk all of the time. You can drive together for hours just listening to music and enjoying the scenery, and be completely comfortable and content not making meaningless chatter.

Space

I am happiest in a relationship when I am given my personal time and space. I need time to read quietly, focus on writing, and watch my guilty pleasure television shows. I think time away from my partner lets me recharge, makes me miss them, and overall makes me a better girlfriend or wife.

Passion

I need passion to be truly happy in my relationship. I want to feel passionate about my partner, and I want to feel wanted and desired by them. There also needs to be a passion for things outside the relationship. I am passionate about writing. I want a partner who is passionate about something as well. Passion is sexy.

Being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness, but I do believe that if you know what you truly want and expect in a relationship, you will have a better chance of finding your happy. No one can be any one person's everything, which is why space, time apart, and hobbies that interest you are important to maintain your happiness within your relationship.

In order to have a good relationship you need trust, good communication, and respect, and all of these are the foundation for a solid partnership. But how do you make a relationship a good relationship great? For me I need the six elements for happy to take a good relationship to the next level.

How do you define happiness in a relationship? Do agree or disagree that one can have a good relationship but still not be happy? Is this asking for too much in a relationship? Please share!

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be morrow." William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

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15 Minute Chicken And Zucchini Stir Fry...

I love making stir fry, and usually do so at least once a week. Stir-fry is quick, easy, and simple to change up a recipe in a pinch. Not to mention they are healthy, low calorie, and very filling.

This recipe is perfect for a fast weeknight meal, or as meal prep your weekly lunches.

For this recipe I used chicken breast, but it works just as well with beef, pork, shrimp, and even ground chicken or ground turkey. This is a crowd pleaser, so double the recipe if you want leftovers. It's simple enough that my preteen knows how to make it, but you can still feel good about making a home cooked meal.

Ingredients:

• 2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, Cubed

• 1 Large Zucchini, Peeled and Cubed

• 1/2 Yellow Onion, Diced

• 2 Tbsp. Soy Sauce, GF

• 1 Tsp. Minced Garlic

• 1/2 Tsp. Ginger Paste

• 1 Tbsp. Cornstarch

Directions:

In a large skillet drizzle olive oil and add chicken and onions. Cook chicken on medium high heat until cooked through, about 3-5 minutes. Add cubed zucchini, garlic, and ginger and stir. Allow to cook for about 5 minutes stirring occasionally, until zucchini is tender. Next sprinkle cornstarch over stir fry, and add the soy sauce. Stir once again, and allow to simmer for about 2 minutes.

I suggest serving over brown rice or rice noodles. One of my favorites to use is Rice Ramen. It's gluten free, filling, and absorbs all the flavors of the stir fry. So yummy!

I hope you enjoy! Please share your stir fry tips.

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5 Signs He's Cheating...Or Is Thinking About It

Trust is everything in a relationship. It is a miserable feeling when you think your partner may be stepping out on you. Chances are, if you are suspicious you have a pretty good reason to be so.

It's that gut feeling, and really just knowing your man. If something feels off, then that it is because something is off.

It is a big leap to go from having a suspicion to accusing. I had the unfortunate experience many years ago of playing detective in a relationship, and as much as I enjoy being right, I had hoped to be wrong in that situation.

The truth is, if you think he's cheating, he probably is. Or at least he wants to, or is thinking about it.

The 5 Signs Of Cheating

He Seems Distant

The distance you feel can come in the form of physical as well, but he is mostly going to be mentally and emotionally distant. He is no longer open with you and is not interested in you.

He is not interested in talking to you very much, and when he does talk to you, he is barely listening or engaged.

Physically he can avoid you by working late or avoiding your home life. He may also create distance by sleeping on the couch, or coming to bed after you have already turned in for the night.

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You Catch Him In Lies

The lies are the biggest telltale. He is not where is said he was going to be. He is not home when he said he would be. You can tell he's lying to you even though you cannot always prove it.

He Avoids Intimacy

He avoids your touch, and is no longer very affectionate. Kisses, hand holding, and cuddling are a thing of the past. He rarely initiates sex anymore, when once upon a time he couldn't keep his hands off of you.

When you do have sex with him he is not there mentally. He seems to be a million miles away, and possibly even thinking of someone else.

A big sign of intimacy avoidance is failing to look you in the eyes. Gazing into each others eyes is extremely intimate, and creates a connection. Failure to make that eye contact shows that he may be emotionally checked out of the relationship, and focused elsewhere.

He's Secretive

He doesn't allow you to see his phone, his emails, or his wallet. If you walk into the room unexpectedly he will close his laptop or close out of things on his computer. He has changed passwords, and gets defensive when you ask questions.

The Relationship Feels Off

Your partner has become different, almost like a stranger to you. It feels off because it is. You sense that he is no longer into you, he is no longer in love with you, and is just going through the motions.

What To Do

You have options if you think you are being cheated on. The first is to confront the situation directly and ask your partner if they are having an affair, including emotional and online affairs. Of course this is the scariest option because you may not get the answer or response you are hoping for, but for many of us it is better to know.

There is also the big possibility that he is going to lie because he's not quite ready to call it quits, and leave the comfortable home life.

You could take a more conservative approach, and just discuss your concerns about how you feel the relationship has changed, and tell your partner how it makes you feel.

The positive to this approach is that it puts your feelings out there, but if he is already done and emotionally closed to you, this conversation will go nowhere. In fact, the discussion may annoy him and give him an excuse to grab his keys and go get some "fresh air".

The last option is to play detective. This is probably the most mentally anguishing and painful choice to make, but you may find the answers you need. You clearly do not trust him, and will drive yourself nuts trying to find evidence that there is someone else, all the while hoping there is no evidence.

The positive is that you may not find a smoking gun, but the negative is that your gut is telling you he is involved or in love with someone else.

The Reality

A cheater is not likely to admit to cheating. They will usually lie through their teeth, until you have indisputable evidence of their infidelity. Trust your instincts in this case, because chances are your gut is on to something. They are cheating or thinking about it.

Counseling is usually recommended for marital issues, including infidelity. Of course this would mean that your man has come clean about his cheating, and is willing to do the work to get the relationship back on track.

I suppose the "positive" in the case of marital infidelity is that a man is statistically unlikely to leave his marriage for his lover.  However, the negative in this matter is his motivation for staying in the marriage. A man will stay for financial reasons, for the kids, and to maintain a status and the appearance of a happy family life.

The 5 signs listed are not all inclusive. In fact, you may find that your man becomes extra nice, and buys you gift to help him alleviate his guilt. He may also have a revved up sex drive with you to cover up his extra activities, and also to relieve his pent up sexual desires because he cannot have the other woman in the moment.

We all have our relationship deal breakers, and only you know what is tolerable and acceptable for you. Many relationships survive infidelity, but I am not sure if anyone ever gets over the broken trust, and feelings of betrayal.

What are your thoughts on cheating? What signs do you consider red flags? Please share your experience!

"No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." - Unknown

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Turkey Chili...Fast, Filling, and Delicious

I know that it is getting close to summer, but my turkey chili is good any time of year. It is fast, filling, and delicious. Not to mention it freezes well for a last minute meal, something to warm your tummy, or as a topping for hot dogs, baked potatoes, fries, or nachos.

When I first started making chili, I thought that it had to be an all day evolution to make good chili. After I became a mom I started trying to find ways to make a big pot of chili without needing an 8 hour simmer.

I knew the fundamentals of chili making, so I started experimenting to find the fastest, easiest recipe. If I am being completely kitchen transparent, my chilis vary depending on the day, because I like to switch it up an use different beans and spices. Black beans or pinto are always good options.

This recipe is simple and comes together in a snap. You can use it as your go to chili recipe, but don't shy away from trying different meats, beans, and seasonings for a nice variety.

Ingredients:

• 1.25 lbs. Ground Turkey

• 1 14.5 oz. Can Diced Tomatoes

• 1 14 oz. Can Kidney Beans, Drained

• 1 14 oz. Can Chili Beans

• ½ Yellow Onion, Diced

• 1 tbsp. Minced Garlic

• 3 tbsp. Chili Powder

• 1 tbsp. Cumin

• 1 tsp. Seasoning Salt

• 1/2 tsp. Black Pepper

• 1 tbsp. Olive Oil

Directions:

In a skillet add olive oil, onions, turkey meat, garlic, seasoning salt, and black pepper. Brown meat but do not drain. Add tomatoes, beans, chili powder, cumin, and bring to boil. Reduced heat to simmer and let cook for 30 minutes. 

Serve with crackers, cheese or Fritos.

I hope you enjoy my chili recipe. Please share your favorite twists to this recipe!

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Opposite Attraction...Here's Why The Relationships Will And Won't Work

As the saying goes opposites attract, but that really isn't where the story ends. What comes next after the initial attraction?  Boy meets girl, and girl is so different from him, from everything he knows. He is fascinated by her. He has to have her, and wants to love her forever. Ah so sweet.

Fairytales are lovely, but quite unrealistic. In fairytales they always live happily ever after, but how could that be? Fairytales are the epitome of opposites attracting. What in the world could Cinderella and Prince Charming possibly have in common? And don't even get me started on Ariel and Eric?

From my point of view these relationships are doomed, but perhaps I am being too pessimistic. Opposites relationships can work, but how do we define working? For some, they consider a relationship working based on sheer time. I disagree with that philosophy.

I say choose quality over quantity any day. Who cares if a marriages lasts 30 years, when the couple was miserable for the past 25 years?

Here's Why It Will Work

Fascinated By Each Other

When people are physically attracted to an opposite, we tend to be fascinated by them. We find the differences adorable. We also tend to ignore the possible obstacles the relationship can bring, and focus on the possibilities instead.

Trying New Things

The great thing about dating your opposite is that they will introduce you to new things. We are more open, and willing in the early stages of relationships to do or try something new or different. With trying new things comes the possibility that you may actually find that you like things you never would have tried or thought about doing.

Passionate

Due to the fascination and newness of getting to know one another, the relationship tends to be very passionate. You cannot get enough of one another, both in and outside of the bedroom.

Working Hard

We recognize that we are with someone different and that to make both parties happy, we work hard to compromise and find common ground.

Here's Why It Won't Work

Newness Wears Off

Once a relationship hits the year mark it is no longer new. Some of the fascination has faded, and you have identified some of the differences that you do not like.

Nothing In Common

The big downside in opposite relationships is that you have very little, if anything at all, in common. Once you become comfortable in your relationship you may start to compromise less, and not be as willing to do things you have no interest in doing.

Bored

Unfortunately this relationship can become stale after a while. The willingness to compromise fades somewhat, and it can be hard to agree on activities to do together that you can both truly enjoy.

You start to long for a partner that you don't have to convince to join you on a bike ride, or for a movie you have been looking forward to seeing.

Differences Become A Source Of Irritation

Early in the relationship you didn't consider it a big deal that they weren't well read, or wasn't into fitness like you, but after a while it starts to annoy you. It's no longer cute that you have to explain world events to them, or that they hate to exercise.

Opposites can make it work, but they need to work harder than most due to the lack of commonality. Having similar interests and hobbies is what will keep a relationship going as the relationship experiences natural ups and downs.

Two book lovers should have no problem chatting about great books they have read. A couple that loves the outdoors can go camping, hiking, and fishing together without there being complaints the whole time.

No one can be any one person's everything. Of course we should have friends outside of our relationships that we do things with without our partner. However, having a partner that is your opposite will have many challenges. These challenges are not about age or race, but more about our fundamental desires for happiness and joy, and how we define that.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever dated an opposite? How did it work out? Please share!

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Home Remedies...Treat Your Colds, Sinus Infections, and Migraines At Home

Holistic medicine is not just for hippies. It is helpful to know how to use everyday items found in your pantry or garden, to make you feel better and relieve pain. Over the counter and prescription medications are fine, and sometimes they are a necessity depending on how ill we are. 

The good thing is that not every illness is a life or death circumstance, and do not necessarily requires drugs to make us feel better. The goal is to treat our bodies holistically whenever possible because medications, whether they are prescription drugs or over the counter, can damage our kidneys, livers, and hearts just to name a few organs.

Easy Home Remedies

Cold And Flu Symptoms

Home remedies for treating cold and flu symptoms are basically the same. The first thing you want to do is start adding lots of vitamin C to your body. This can be accomplished with juice, vitamins, and also cough drops with added vitamin C. 

You should also drink tea and add honey and lemon. The honey acts as a cough suppressant, and works with the tea to soothe a sore throat. Plus drinking the tea will help keep you hydrated. For food, chicken soup is the best. The warm broth soothes and helps with the upper respiratory system.

Lastly, you need to use vapor rub, and a humidifier. The vapor rub should be applied to your chest area, and upper back. The vapor rub will help open up your airway and work as a cough suppressant. The humidifier will add moisture to the air, which will help your nasal passages and make it easier to breathe.

Sinus Infections

The best home remedies for sinus infections consists of warm showers or face steaming, using humidifiers, drinking plenty of water, warm compresses, and lots of rest. I recommend adding a few drops of eucalyptus to your shower bed to assist with opening up your nasal passage. For the face steam, fill a large mixing bowl with hot water, add a few drops of eucalyptus, lean over bowl and cover your head with towel to keep in steam.

Migraines/Headaches

Treating headaches and migraines can be a little tricky because the causes can vary. The important thing do when trying to combat head pain is to hydrate. Dehydration will cause headaches and migraines, but so will stress and lack of sleep.

Lie down in a dark room if possible. Avoid electronic devices, and loud noises. Noise machines can be helpful with calming sounds of rain or the ocean. 

Upset Stomach

To treat an upset stomach I recommend ginger ale, and the BRAT diet. The ginger will help settle your stomach, and the carbonation will help get rid of the gas in your tummy. The BRAT diet consists of bananas, rice, apple sauce, and toast. The food items work to combat diarrhea, and settle the tummy.

If nausea is also part of your symptoms, I recommend peppermint. The peppermint will help prevent nausea. I suggest sucking on a peppermint, or brewing a nice cup of tea.

Body Aches/Pain

If you are looking for pain relief, and do not want to take meds, you have many home remedy options. The first recommendation is to stretch. Stretching will help your tense, aching muscles. The next thing you do is foam roller. Rolling out your back, neck, and legs will alleviate pain.

A warm bath with epson salt is also a great pain reliever and muscle relaxer. Last but not least I recommend ice packs and heating pads. Both will help with your aches and pains.

I don't know about you, but I try not reach for a bottle of medicine unless all else has failed. OTC and prescriptions medications are definitely needed at times, but sometimes the known side effects, and damage they do to our organs gives me pause.

If we can get the same relief from home remedies as we do with something out of a bottle, with little to no side effect, then why not? What are your home remedies? I know most of us have some holistic treatments passed down in  our families. Please share!

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Friends With Benefits...5 Reasons It's Not Worth It

Friends with benefits sounds good in theory, but is it really worth potentially screwing up a great friendship for sex? The friends with benefits relationship is basically a no strings attached agreement. You have fun together, hang out, have sex, and then go your separate ways.

There are many people who fall into the trap of friends with benefits (FWB). It is after all very appealing. You are single, horny, and have a willing partner who you are close to and find attractive, or at least attractive enough.

The decision for the friends with benefits relationship is often made in the heat of the moment, and not well thought out. Unfortunately, there is no going back once you start sleeping together.

5 Reasons It's Not Worth It

It Changes The Friendship

The friendship changes but not usually for the good. Sure you are getting laid, but now there is a complicated relationship in your life, and it's with someone you would have normally confided in about it.

Also, instead of being the chill buddy, or the one they would pour their heart out to, you are now the booty call. Things start to become complicated.

You Feel Jealous

Although the deal was just sex, you will start to feel a little possessive. Before the sexual relationship started, and you were hanging out with your friend, it didn't bother you if he checked out another girl. In fact you didn't think anything of it, but with a sexual relationship involved you feel hurt, jealous, and kind of disrespected.

You Become Emotionally Attached

You always cared about them as a friend, but after you start having sex you will likely develop real feelings of love for them. Once that happens, it's analyze, analyze, analyze. What did he or she mean when they said this or that? Why haven't they called? Am I being used?

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You Get Your Heart Broken

Maybe in the beginning you were down for a strictly sexual relationship, or possibly always hoped it would turn into more. Either way, your friend didn't feel the same way, and now you are left heartbroken and feeling foolish. This will be especially difficult if you have the same circle of friends, and his dates or new girlfriends are brought around.

It's Going To End

One way or another, your FWB is going to end, but it may not be by your choosing. Perhaps your friend started dating someone, or just felt that the sexual part of your relationship had run its course. Whatever the reason, the end will feel like a break up, and it will be difficult to handle.

Now you have to struggle to maintain a friendship with someone you are in love with, and who has rejected you on some level.

In a nutshell, a friends with benefits relationship is sex with a friend who does not want more from your relationship. Not everyone is cut out for this type of relationship. So, in choosing to enter a FWB agreement, one needs to clear about what they want, and have an end game.

Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? How did it end? How did it make you feel, and would you ever engage in another one? Please share story or experience!

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.”  - W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

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