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Cushioning....The Back Up Plan In Case Your Relationship Doesn't Work Out
Cushioning is the Plan B guy or girl kept waiting in the wings in case your current relationship doesn't work out. Here's a hint, if you have a plan b guy or girl, or someone waiting in the wings, your relationship is ultimately NOT going to work out.
If you have been cushioning, you are not 100 percent invested in the person you are with, or that relationship, and probably should find someone you feel more passionate about.
Cushioning is really just a new term for an age old relationship tactic. The relationship behavior is called cushioning because it is the fall back plan. A safe landing spot so to speak, so you are not left out there completely on your own when you break up or divorce.
While I always believe in having a plan A, B, C, for most things in life, I never once considered having other romantic partners as part of a back up plan. You are either in and committed, or you are out and want to move on.
Cushioning can be done by having an emotional affair, flirting and texting, or it can be with outright sex and cheating. I say outright cheating because each person has their own definition of what they consider to be cheating in a relationship.
Either way, the relationship is nearing an end, but like a monkey, he or she will not let go of one branch until they have the next branch firm in hand. Lovely, right?
5 Signs Your Partner is Cushioning
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Your Partner Is Being Secretive
They are being secretive because there is someone else, or several someones, and they are trying to hide them from you. It can be as basic as some light flirting in text, sexting going on, or an actual sexual affair. Whatever they are doing, they have a motivation to hide their phone activity from you.
The hiding of the their phone, taking calls in private, and secretive computer behavior are all telltale signs of cushioning, or let's be honest, flat out cheating.
He’s Inconsistent
Your partner treats you inconsistently because that is how they feel about you. One day they want to make it work and want to stay in the relationship, and they next moment not so much. Their heart is not in the relationship any longer, but they feel an obligation to stick it out. Whatever “sticking it out” means to them.
He’s Non Committal
They do not want to make future plans and commitments with you because they kind of want out, and want to keep their options open. They do not want to move in with you, get a dog, or even put down money on a nice vacation because they know it may complicate ending the relationship.
If they were always the planner and the dreamer in the relationship, and now they barely show any interest in plans, it does not bode well for a future together.
Distant
There has been a shift in their feelings for you, and a change in their behavior towards you. They cannot help it. They are not that into you anymore and cannot hide it. They may just want out because the love is gone, or they are torn between you and another. A person can only pretend for so long.
If they are engaged in an emotional affair, they will likely be distant, but it could be a little trickier to catch on to, and far more threatening than any of the other shenanigans. An emotional affair would be a biggie because that would mean they are in love, or at least believe themselves to be, in love with someone else.
Your Gut Says So
I am a big believer in trusting gut feelings, and if your gut is telling you your guy or girl has someone on the side, or one foot out the door, listen to it. We all get that sinking feeling when something is off, especially in relationships. Love yourself enough, and respect yourself to let someone go who doesn’t want to be with you.
After all, how happy can anyone really be with someone who is cheating, staying with you out of obligation, or loves another.
Cushioning is mainly considered a dating trend, but it can happen to any relationship, including marriages. While cushioning may seem like a way to protect yourself, you may really hurt others, and it is cowardly behavior. Cushioning is rooted in fear, insecurities, and selfishness.
n my opinion, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, and if there is cushioning in your relationship you are with the wrong person.
What is your experience with cushioning? Have you ever cushioned someone? Or have you ever knowingly been someone's cushion? Are you the monkey or the branch in the case of cushioning? No judgement! Please share your story or experience!
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.” - Shannon L. Alder
Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels
Open Stride Machine...Get Your Best Calorie Burn!
My latest gym obsession is the Open Stride machine! I cannot tell you how much I love this machine! I did an hour on it tonight and burned almost 900 hundred calories, 882 calories to be exact!
Yes I know not everyone has an hour to spend at the gym on one machine, and I usually do not either. But on this particular evening, I had about an hour to kill while my daughter was at dance class, and I had some stress to burn off.
I have always loved working out, but with back and knee injuries I have struggled to find my fitness groove. Up until recently, walking trails, and the elliptical machine have been my best friend.
Walks are nice because they are relaxing and get you out in the fresh air. Walk the right trails and you will find yourself with nicely toned legs and bottoms. While I enjoy walking, I am more of a fast paced, high intensity workout kind of girl.
I got on the machine, and after an awkward beginning because it takes a little coordination to get it moving, I was pleasantly surprised. There were so many movement options, including one that feels very similar to running, which I never do anymore because of my knees.
For the purpose of this blog, I am specifically discussing the Precor Adaptive Motion Trainer (AMT), because Precor is the brand of machines at my gym.
Precor Adaptive Motion Trainer Description
A Total Body Workout In One Piece of Equipment
Users can go from short stride to long stride, walking to running, climbing to lunging, allowing them to target different muscle groups. Pushing and pulling the moving handlebars will engage the upper body, resulting in a total body workout. - Precor.com
Burn More With More Enjoyment
The Precor AMT delivers a higher level of caloric burn while giving users a lower perceived level of exertion. So they can go longer and harder—and get better results. - Precor.com
Creates An Elliptical, Bike, and Treadmill Workout All In One
Open Stride lets you not only change the length of your stride but also the height, providing an infinite variety of motion paths. Go vertical and it’s a stepper. Increase resistance and it’s a climber. Then go more horizontal and walk, jog or sprint with a stride length that goes up to 36 inches (91 cm). - Precor.com
Needless to say, I am in love. I have found the machine that challenges me, burns lots of calories, and allows for variation so I don't get bored. Have you ever tried the Open Stride machine? What are your thoughts on it? Please share your experience!
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, registered dietitian, or fitness expert. The purpose of my blog is to share my experiences with food, fitness, and life—not to dole out advice. When it comes to your health and fitness, do your research and consult your doctor.
5 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man
It can be difficult to recognize and accept that your partner is emotionally unavailable, but doing so is a must for your own mental and emotional well being. An emotionally unavailable person is someone who is unwilling, or unable to communicate, discuss, or share and open up about how they feel.
Good communication, especially when it comes to communicating feelings is a must for a relationship to function in a healthy manner.
It is frustrating to care deeply for someone, and not feel that love in return. Part of a healthy, loving relationship is discussing and sharing your feelings, but when you are with someone who is emotionally unavailable they can often seem cold and distant.
You will have an overwhelming desire to heal their wounds that have made them so closed off and emotionally stunted, but this will come at the cost of your own heart and emotional well being.
Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner
Commitment Issues
He likes to "casually" mention that he doesn't believe in marriage or monogamy. Or he often says that is not really the relationship type, or that he is not good at relationships. If he is saying this...believe him and get out of dodge fast.
This guy doesn't necessarily want to be alone, but he wants you in his life on his terms, and when it's convenient for him. It's about control and a power play for him.
He's Inconsistent
One minute he is crazy about you, he cannot get enough of you, and is making plans for a future with you. Then the next week you barely hear from him, and cannot get him to return a text or commit to a time to see you. This is a big red flag and should be a one and done situation.
He is all over the place, playing games because he can, and is not to be trusted with your heart.
Detached
Early in the relationship he was Mr. Charming, and that's how he reeled you in. Once he had you, he slowly became detached and disengaged from the relationship.
He avoids difficult discussions, he has bad habits such as drinking too much, and sometimes avoids you completely, except of course when you are putting out. He can be very cold at times, and easily disregards your feelings.
Rocky Past Relationships
He has nothing nice to say about his exes. They were crazy, or liars, or cheaters, or all three. But I am willing to bet if you heard their side of things, it was him who was the crazy, cheating, liar. If his past is filled with bad women, then he is the common denominator.
He is making himself the victim, and not being truthful about why those past relationships didn't work out. Every story has three sides, his is not likely the entire truth.
He's A Jerk
I know, this one is really hard to come to terms with. You want to see your man as a good guy, but be honest with yourself, and don't make excuses for his behavior. How is he really? How do your friends and family see him? Do you have to apologize for his behavior sometimes?
Being nice sometimes, while being an obnoxious ass the rest of the time makes him not a nice guy. In fact, it makes him a jerk who can be nice when it suits him.
The Psychology Behind Emotional Unavailability
There are many reasons as to why a man may be emotionally unavailable, the main one being his childhood. He may have grew up in an environment where expressing and showing emotions were discouraged, ridiculed, or possibly flat out not allowed. His role models growing up were also emotionally unavailable, and he modeled himself after them.
A man may also be emotionally unavailable due to having suffered a trauma. The trauma may have been in their childhood or later in life, but that trauma left them with emotional wounds. Sadly, a good old fashioned broken heart and betrayal can lead to a man being emotionally unavailable, and to being unable to be open again.
When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are unavailable. You are not going to heal them with your love, or change them and make them suddenly see the light. They have to be willing make the necessary changes to have a healthy relationship, and probably should get some counseling to deal with their unresolved issues.
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable is not a relationship, it is a project, and so not worth it. What are your thoughts on the emotionally unavailable man? Are you currently in a relationship or in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable? Please share your experience!
"Pity those who don't feel anything at all." - Sarah J. Mass, A Court of Thorns and Roses
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky from Pexels
The Best Of Massive Attack...My 10 Favorite Songs And Lyrics
Massive Attack is one of my favorite bands of all time, and their music fits just about any mood I am in. Massive Attack is considered trip hop, but I find their music to be so much more. Whether you are feeling funky, melancholy, sexy, or chill, there is a Massive Attack song or two for you.
Massive Attack is a British band formed in 1988. The band consists of Robert "3D" Del Naja and Grant "Daddy G" Marshall. Blue Lines was their debut album, released in 1991 with my favorite song "Unfinished Sympathy". Massive Attack continues to go strong
My 10 Favorite Massive Attack Songs
Angel
Unfinished Sympathy
Paradise Circus
The Spoils
Protection
Teardrop
Saturday Come Slowly
What Your Soul Sings
Special Cases
Dissolved Girl
Angel - Mezzanine
You are my angel
Come from way above to bring me love
Her eyes, she's on the dark side
Neutralize every man in sight
To love you, love you, love you
You are my angel
Come from way above
To love you, love you, love you
Songwriters: Horace Keith Hinds / Robert Del Naja / Grantley Marshall / Andrew Lee Isaac Vowles
Unfinished Sympathy - Blue Lines
I know that I've been mad in love before
And how it could be with you
Really hurt me baby, really hurt me baby
How can have a day without a night
You're the book that I have opened
And now I've got to know much more
The curiousness of your potential kiss
Has got my mind and body aching
Really hurt me baby, really hurt me baby
How can you have a day without a night
You're the book that I have opened
And now I've got to know much more
Like a soul without a mind
In a body without a heart
I'm missing every part
[Repeat: x 5]
Songwriters: Robert Del Naja / Grantley Marshall / Shara Nelson / Jonathan Sharp / Andrew Lee Isaac Vowles
Paradise Circus - Heligoland
It's unfortunate that when we feel a stone
We can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable
Oh well, the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning in his grip
Love is like a sin, my love,
For the ones that feel it the most
Look at her with her eyes like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you again
It's unfortunate that when we feel a stone
We can roll ourselves over when we're uncomfortable
Oh well, the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning in his grip
Love is like a sin, my love,
For the one that feels it the most
Look at her with a smile like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you again
Songwriters: Grantley Marshall, Hope Sandoval, Stewart Jackson, Daniel Brown, Robert Naja
The Spoils - Single
I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know
I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight
Nobody here that keeps you in the shade and ever owned you
Some sentimental tears or someone else's girl that drips away
But I somehow slowly love you
And wanna keep you the same
Well, I somehow slowly know you
And wanna keep you away
I got that feeling, that bad feeling that you don't know
I don't even know her but I hope that she comforts you tonight
And I somehow slowly love you
And wanna keep you this way
Well, I somehow slowly know you
And wanna keep you away, away
And I somehow slowly love you
And wanna keep you this way
Well, I somehow slowly know you
And wanna keep you
But I somehow slowly love you
And wanna keep you the same
Well, I somehow slowly know you
And wanna keep you away
Songwriters: Grantley Marshall, Hope Sandoval, Stewart Jackson,
Protection - Collected
This girl I know needs some shelter
But she don't believe anyone can help her
She's doing so much harm doing so much damage
But you don't want to get involved
You tell her she can manage
Now you can't change the way she feels
But you could put your arm around her
I know you want to live yourself
But could you forgive yourself
If you left her just the way you found her
I'll stand in front of you
I'll take the force of the blow
Protection
I'll stand in front of you
I'll take the force of the blow
Protection
You're a boy and I'm a girl
But you know you can lean on me
And I don't have no fear
I'll take on any man here
Who says that's not the way it should be
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
She's a girl and you're a boy
Sometimes you look so small (look so small)
You've got a baby of your own
When your baby's gone
She'll be the one
To catch you when you fall
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
You're a girl and I'm a boy
You're a girl and I'm a boy
Yeah
You're a girl and I'm a boy
You're a girl and I'm a boy
Sometimes you look so small
I need some shelter
Just run around helter skelter
And I've leaned on you before
Now you can lean on me
That's more then it will ever be
That's the way it should be
I can't change the way you feel
But I could put my arms around you
That's just part of the deal
That's the way I feel
I'll put my arms around you
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
I'll stand in front of you
Take the force of the blow
Protection
You're a boy and I'm a girl
You're a boy and I'm a girl
Hey
You're a boy and I'm a girl
You're a boy and I'm a girl
Songwriters: Tracey Thorn / Robert Del Naja / Grant Lee Marshall / Andrew Vowles
Teardrop - Collected
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
Night, night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my
Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
It's tumbling down (as in love falling apart)
It's tumbling down (as in love falling apart)
Songwriters: Elizabeth Fraser / Robert Del Naja / Grantley Marshall / Andrew Vowles
Saturday Come Slowly - Heligoland
Lost in the magic
From the last time
This town turning
My rose to desire
Saturday comes slow
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Or is there nothing there?
In the limestone caves
In the south west lands
One time in the kingdom
Believe is on the sand
Saturday comes slow
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Or is there nothing there?
Saturday comes slow
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Or is there nothing there?
Songwriters: Damon Albarn / Daniel Jonathan Brown / Grantley Evan Marshall / Robert Del Naja / Stewart Neville Jackson
What Your Soul Sings - 100th Window
Don't be afraid
Open your mouth to say
Say what your soul sings to you
Your mind can never change
Unless you ask it to
Lovingly rearrange
The thoughts that make you blue
The things that bring you down
Will mean no harm to you
And so make your choice joy
The joy belongs to you
And when you do
You'll find the one you love is here
You'll find you
The love yeah
Don't be ashamed no
To open your heart and pray
Say what your soul sings to you
So no longer pretend
That you can't feel it near
That tickle on your hand
That tingle in your ear
And ask it anything
Because it loves you dear
It's your most precious king
If only you could hear
And when you do
You'll find the one you need is here
You'll find you
Love you
Songwriters: Robert Del Naja / Neil Davidge / Grantley Marshall / Sinead O'connor
Special Cases - 100th Window
Don't tell your man what you don't do right
Not tell him all the things that make you cry
But check yourself for your own shit / shame
And don't be making love like it's always
Take a look around the world
You see such bad things happening
There are many good men
Ask yourself is he one of them
the deadliest of sin is pride
Make you feel like you're always right
But they're always to the sides
It takes dirt to make love dirt to make a life
Take a look around the world
You see such mad things happening
There are few good men
Thank you lucky star that he's one of them
Songwriters: Robert Del Naja / Neil Davidge / Grantley Marshall / Sinead O'connor
Dissolved Girl - Mezzanine
I'm a little curious of you in crowded scenes
And how serene your friends and fiends
We flew and strolled as two eliminated gently
Why don't you close your eyes and reinvent me
You knew you had a heart made of stone
You should have let me know
You could have let me know
We'll go 'till morning comes
And traffic grows
And windows hum
Speding all week with your friends
Give me evenings and weekends
Evenings and weekends
I could be yours
We can unwind
All these other flaws
All these other flaws
You'd agree it's a typical high
You fly as you watch your name go by
And once the name goes by
Not thicker than water nor thicker than mud
And the eight k thuds it does
Sunset so quickly
Let's make it quiet and quickly
Don't frown
Taste better on the way back down
I could be yours
We can unwind
All these other flaws
All these other flaws
All these other flaws
Will lead to mine
We can unwind
All these other flaws
All these other flaws
Will lead to mine
Will see to
All these other flaws
All these other flaws
Will see to
All these other flaws
Will lead to mine
We can unwind all our flaws
We can unwind all our flaws
Songwriters: Robert Del Naja / Grantley Marshall / Andrew Lee Isaac Vowles / Sarah J. Hawley / Matt Schwartz
Massive Attack continues to go strong, 30 years after their formation. Massive Attack is currently touring. For their event schedule go here. What are your favorite Massive Attack songs? Please share!
5 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
The signs of an unhealthy relationship are pretty easy to spot, although they can go ignored occasionally by those in bad relationships. Sometimes we can become so hyper-focused on what is going wrong in relationships that we fail to see what makes good relationships great.
It is important to be able to recognize your healthy relationship and keep doing what is working.
Healthy relationships consists of simple, basic elements that are needed for each individual in the relationship to feel complete and happy. It seems so simple, but if you are with the wrong person it will be difficult to have a happy, healthy relationship.
Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
Free To Disagree
In a healthy relationship, you will feel safe and comfortable disagreeing with your partner. Unless you are sharing a brain, you are going to have your own thoughts and opinions, and sometimes they will not be the same as your mate, and that's okay. Or at least it should be okay.
There should not be fear that your partner will be angry or hold it against you that you occasionally disagree with them, or that you voice your opinion.
Separate Hobbies
In a healthy relationship you recognize the importance of having friends and hobbies outside of the relationship, and are comfortable doing things separately at times. If you are with the right one you will have plenty in common, but there are things you will want and need to do with others.
When you come back together after having time apart, you will have missed each other, and have interesting stories to share.
Friendship
A healthy relationship starts with a great friendship. You should truly like one another and enjoy each other's company. You have great talks, loads of things in common, and shared interests.
You are best friends, although you both still have other good friends. Your partner is the first person you want to share good news with, you vent to them, and cry on their shoulder when you are feeling sad or frustrated.
You Have Fun Together
In a healthy relationship you enjoy being together and have fun. You should be able to completely be yourself. You can be silly, and dorky, and cute and corny and there is no fear of judgement. You have lots of laughs, a similar sense of humor, and laugh at the same things.
Biggest Fans
In a healthy relationship, your partner will be your biggest supporter, encourager, and fan. When you love someone you want to see them do well, and only want the best for them. Your partner should want to see you succeed in your career, your education, and the following of your dreams, within reason.
Like I said, it seems simple, but finding the right person to have a healthy relationship is hard. It takes self-reflection, understanding your wants and needs, and a whole lot of patience. It is very easy to spot a bad relationship, and when things are not working, but what about the healthy relationship that is working?
If you are in a healthy relationship, recognize it for what it is, appreciate it, and keep that relationship strong. If you do not have the elements of a healthy relationship you may want to rethink your situation. What are your thoughts on healthy relationships? What signs do you look for in a healthy relationship? Please share!
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
- Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger In A Strange Land
The Life Of Being A Lefty...I'm Talking Handedness
I usually write with my left hand, therefore I am, for the most part considered to be left handed. I actually prefer to do just about everything else with my right hand though. I also can write with my right hand, and with both hands at the same time.
So perhaps maybe I am cross-dominance or mixed-handedness with left hand dominant.
Slap whatever label you want on it, people still find it interesting when they realize I am writing left handed. Why the fascination you might ask? In the past, I was really fascinated when someone brought up my handedness, but not so much anymore.
Well, let us delve a little deeper into the odd interest society has had with what hand one uses for tasks.
For starters, only about 10 percent of people are naturally left-handed, mostly men. Only about 1 percent are cross-dominant. For many years there was a stigma and repression of left-handedness.
My mother told me stories of growing up seeing children who were naturally left-handed being forced to write with their right hand in school.
In society, many tools and machinery have been designed with right-handedness in mind. Historically speaking, left-handers have been considered unlucky, awkward, sinister, and malicious. The list actually goes on and on. I mean being right-handed is "right". Needless to say, there are some disadvantages to being a lefty.
Disadvantages Of Being A Lefty
Hand Shakes
Scissors
Writing (smudges)
Elbows While Eating With Righties
Spiral Notebooks and Three Ring Binders Against You Hand
Now don't go feeling sorry for left-handers. Lefties tend to be higher achievers due to the way a left-handers brain is structured. The brain increases its range of abilities to allow for left hand function.
Some of the world most famous and brilliant minds are lefties. Taking a look at the list below, I am proud to be part of the left-handed club
15 Famous Lefties
Albert Einstein
Buzz Aldrin
Bill Gates
Barack Obama
Ludwig van Beethoven
Wolgang Mozart
Mark Zuckerberg
Oprah Winfrey
Neil Armstrong
Michelangelo
Marie Curie
Leonardo Da Vinci
Winston Churchill
H.G. Wells
John F. Kennedy
I received a comment on a blog two years ago from "Glenn" regarding the historical perception of left handedness, and his words could not have been more accurate. Glenn said, "The French word 'gauche' is translated to left or left-handed in addition to awkward (and worse).
In America, it is often used as a pejorative. As a lefty, I hardly ever give it a thought until I run into another lefty or someone points it out to me."
Being left handed can be a great conversation starter, and I do not believe there to be any negative association with being a lefty in today's society. Hopefully, ignorance and stereotypes based on the hand you write with are long gone. Or am I wrong? Do you have any experience with being a lefty, positive or negative? Please share!
Fun Fact - International Left-Handers Day is every August 13th.
Declarations Of Love...My 20 Favorite Love Quotes
Declarations of love are sweet, romantic, and yes, even a little cheesy at times. But nevertheless, they still manage to melt our hearts, put a smile on our lips, and bring tears to our eyes. Over the years, I have read many quotes declaring love and adoration for their hearts desire.
These are my favorite 20 love quotes, not only because they express feelings of love so beautifully, but because I can relate to each and every one of these quotes.
My 20 Favorite Love Quotes
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfections and makes allowances for human weakness. - Ann Landers
I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you'd been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you never left. - Unknown
Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive. - Unknown
I wish I could turn back the clock. I'd find you sooner and love you longer. - Unknown
I hope you know that every time I tell you to get home safe, stay warm, have a good day, or sleep well what I am really saying is I love you. I love you so damn much that it is starting to steal other words' meanings. " — Open-365
I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you. - Unknown
As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. - John Green, The Fault In Our Stars
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
Distance means nothing, when someone means everything. - Unknown
Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk To Remember
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. - Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
You are, and always have been, my dream. - Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
We loved with a love that was more than love. - Edgar Allen Poe
When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. - William Shakespeare
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford
It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. - Vladimir Nobokov, Lolita
They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now. - Edna St. Vincent Millay
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close - Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
Not everyone is a romantic, or goes in for the mushy stuff, but you cannot tell me that if you heard these words coming from the mouth of someone you were romantically interested in, that you wouldn't be incredibly moved. Perhaps even swept off your feet.
I think many of us crave that story book romance on some level. We do not necessarily want some man taking care of us, but I think that even the most independent, realistic version of ourselves will appreciate the whispering of sweet nothings in our ear.
What's your favorite love quote? Please share!
Hypothyroidism In Women...Recognizing The Signs and Symptoms
For many people, the term hypothyroidism is just some non serious medical term thrown around. If you have ever had an annual physical, then probably had labs done, including one to check thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) levels.
The thyroid performs a very important function in the body. The thyroid is a small butterfly shaped gland located in the front of the neck, on either side of your windpipe. The thyroid produces the thyroid hormone, which controls your metabolism and growth for the entire body.
Women are more likely to have hypothyroidism, and thyroid disease, especially those over 60 years of age. According to The Office Of Women's Health (OWH), one in eight women will develop thyroid problems during her lifetime
What is Hypothyroidism?
Hypothyroidism is basically an under-active thyroid. Hypothyroidism occurs when your thyroid gland doesn't produce enough thyroid hormones. There are many glands in the body, but the thyroid gland is the small, butterfly-shaped organ at the base of your neck that makes hormone that regulate your metabolism, which affects how the body uses energy, and other processes.
There are two types of hypothyroidism, primary and secondary. Primary hypothyroidism is the most common type of hypothyroidism. Primary hypothyroidism is due to a disease of the thyroid, and the TSH levels will be high.
Secondary hypothyroidism is less common in people, and is due to pituitary or hypothalamic disease, and the TSH levels are low.
Signs and Symptoms of Hyperthyroidism
There are many signs and symptoms that can alert you that you are experiencing issues with your thyroid.
Weight Gain
Fatigue
Weak and Achy Muscles and Joints
Feelings of Being Cold
Depression or Feeling Down
Dry, Itchy Skin
Hair Loss
Difficulty Concentrating and Remembering
Heavy and/or Irregular Periods
Constipation
The Risk Factors
Thyroid Surgery
Thyroid Removal
Autoimmune Disease
Treatment for Hyperthyroidism
Radiation Therapy
Medications
What To Do?
Hypothyroidism is not uncommon, and is completely treatable. Symptoms may worsen without treatment, and a goiter (enlarge thyroid) may form as your body tries to over produce more hormones. It is important to see your doctor, and seek treatment if you have the above signs and symptoms.
How It's Diagnosed
Blood/Lab Test
Physical Exam
Imaging
Getting treatment can make all the difference in the world to both your mental and physical well being. There are many holistic options out there as well, such as Iodine drops and selenium supplements. Talk to your doctor and do your research. I hope this blog was helpful, informative, and leads to a path of feeling better.
If you would like to share your struggles and journey with hypothyroidism please submit a comment.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, registered dietitian, or fitness expert. The purpose of my blog is to share my experiences with food, fitness, and life—not to dole out advice. When it comes to your health and fitness, do your research and consult your doctor.
8 Signs You Are Not A Couple Anymore...You’re Just Roommates
How does a once hot and passionate couple go from being lovers to roommates? No one can say for sure, but the why varies from relationship to relationship. At some point in the relationship, you fell out of love, the passion left, and you just continued on as usual minus all the elements that actually made you a couple.
Whether you are married, or in a long term committed relationship, the roommate syndrome can happen to anyone. People change, circumstances change, and relationships evolve over time. The newness and excitement that is present in the early stages of a relationship will eventually fade, and reality will set in.
Once the relationship comes back down to earth after spending months in the clouds with crazy love and passion, it can be challenging to maintain that fire. Compatibility, good chemistry, and shared values and life goals will go a long way in keeping a relationship strong, and help prevent the roommate syndrome.
Here are 8 signs to look for if you think you might have become roommates.
Signs You Are Living Like Roommates
Sleeping Apart
If you are sleeping apart, whether it is every night, or just a couple of days a week, you are roommates. The marital bed is where your true intimacy happens. You have sex there, it is where you cuddle, and it's that place you have your deep talks before falling asleep.
No Touching
You barely touch one another, if you touch each other at all. Maybe you are not one for public displays of affection, but there should be kisses, hugging, hand holding, and gentle touches given to each other on a regular basis.
If you can barely remember the last time you had a passionate kiss with your significant other, you are roommates.
No Fighting
Photo by tommaso79/iStock / Getty Images
You both are just so polite to one another. Not that you should be screaming at one another, but no fighting means no passion and no fire.
When you become so detached from your partner that you cannot be bothered to have a disagreement, or you just stop speaking to one another because they annoy you all the time, you have checked out of your relationship, and you are just roommates.
Lack Of Intimacy
If you rarely have sex, if you have it at all, you are just roommates. When the sex feels like a chore, or like something you just have to get done and over with, you are not a couple. If the sex is not enjoyable, and foreplay is non existent, the relationship is all but over.
No Quality Time Together
Quality time can be spent many ways, but the key word is quality. Quality time can be had while cooking together, having a nice meals together, or by just vegging out together in front of the television with a glass of wine. Discussions about the kids, household chores, or talks about bills or finances is not quality time.
Quality time will deepen your connection. If you are not spending quality time together, and do not want to spend quality time with one another, you are just roommates.
No Deep Conversation
When you do talk to each other it is very surface discussion, or about the kids. You avoid discussing your relationship issues, or about anything that will rock the boat. Talking about hopes and dreams is a thing of the past, and you avoid discussing the future because you know you will not likely be together much longer.
Nothing In Common
You have come to the realization that you have nothing in common with your partner. In the early stages of relationships it is easy to get so caught up in the passion and attraction that you don't realize that you have next to nothing in common.
You convinced yourself that it didn't matter, or pretended to like and enjoy things you really didn't, for the sake of making the relationship work. If the only things you share in common with your partner is that you live together, have a dog, or both eat food, you are not a couple, you are just roommates.
Always Apart When Together
You are upstairs, and he is downstairs. You’re in the garage, and she’s in the kitchen or with the kids. Anything to avoid spending any real time together. If when you get home from work you consistently go your separate ways in your home, you are just roommates.
Although every relationship is unique, and different in their own way, they all tend to share some fundamental challenges. Life happens, and we all get busy with work and kids, but that is not the reason you become roommates. In fact, being busy with work and kids is the excuse you give yourself for why the magic and love has left.
You ignore the problems in your relationship, and tell yourself that it's just a phase, and it will get better. But it won't.
In my personal opinion, the roommate relationship occurs because the relationship has died, but no one wants admit it, or deal with the obstacles that come with untangling your lives. So instead of being honest with yourself, and your partner, you hope things will get better or just accept that this is your life, and settle for having a roommate.
What are your thoughts on the roommate syndrome? Is a roommate relationship better than being alone? Do you think these relationships can get better? Or are they a waste of the valuable time you have in this life? Please share!
"In some relationships there comes a time when the two people just outgrow each other." Unknown
8 Life Skills All Teens Should Have Before Heading Off To College
Very few things are scarier and more heart wrenching for a parent than the day they leave their child at college. It is a proud moment for a parent to see their 'baby' leave the nest, but it is also sad and worrisome.
A friend recently shared her experience with me about the day she dropped her daughter off to college, and the feelings that followed for months. Her words, "no one told me it would feel like this" really resonated with me.
My friend was not alone in her sadness and anxiety in leaving her daughter at college. Many parents feel this way. As the college drop off day approaches, you may start to question if you have prepared your young adult, or forever baby, for the world.
Unfortunately there is no magic pill, formula, or tutorial that helps us raise the perfect child, or perfectly prepare a child to go off into the world. But there are things we can do as parents to help them grow into capable adults and ease the transition.
Life Skills Needed Before Heading Off To College
Manage Money/Budget
Your teen should have a decent understanding of how to manage their money, and how to stay within a budget. One of the best ways to do this is to give them a debit card or refillable cash card in their junior or senior year of high school, or at an even earlier age depending on the child, and have them make some basic purchases for themselves.
Add a specific amount of money to the account or card and have them stay within a budget on the card. If the money runs out before the specified time, they will have to wait until more money is added by you.
How To Do Laundry
Your young adults needs to know how to do their own laundry. Cleaning their clothes and doing laundry is a basic function of self-care. There is no mommy or maid at college to pick up their clothes off the bedroom or bathroom floor and wash them. Laundry is simple to us, but we all know you can ruin clothes if you do not know what you are doing.
How To Cook
Despite what your teen thinks, they should not survive on fast food. Not only is it unhealthy, and adding to the freshman 15, but it is also a budget buster. Male or female , having some simple culinary skills are a must. Not being able "to boil water" is not cute.
Whether it's scrambling or boiling eggs, making salads and sandwiches, or taking ramen to the next level by adding some frozen veggies and protein, give them the tools they need..
How To Shop For Groceries
If they are going to cook occasionally, your teen will need to know how to grocery shop. They should know how to bargain shop, find the deals, check expiration dates, and calculating their spending before getting to the cashier.
How To Pay Bills
Allow your teen to have a couple of bills that they are responsible for to teach them responsibility, and help them get use to managing their finances. The bills can be something small like a cell phone bill or car insurance.
The bill doesn't matter so much as that they understand the importance of paying bills timely, and understand the consequences of when they fail to do so.
How To Clean
Many teens keep their rooms like pig sties, but we can all hope they will eventually outgrow being messy, eventually. Your teen should know how to clean a bathroom, how often to wash their bedding, how to vacuum, and cleaner to use for different surface.
Drive/Use Public Transportation
Whether you are sending your kid off with a car or a bus pass, they should know how to get around and navigate their way in a new city. Ensure they know how to read a map, change a tire, and understand the importance of regular maintenance for a vehicle.
Sense of Self
If there is any one skill your child needs to leave home with let it be a sense of self. Your child should know right from wrong, know how to say no, and be confident enough to stand up for themselves.
There will be a lot of temptations and a lot of freedom in college, just like the real world in general. But having a young adult who is confident, and does not feel the need to do any and everything for the sake of fitting in can make a big difference.
It is never easy to see our children grow up and leave home. However, there can be some comfort found in knowing you have prepared them for the day that they go off on their own. Teaching them some basic life skills will make their life, and yours, all that much easier.
I didn't include getting a job as a life skill needed before college, because I think that many see college as a means to getting a good job. However, work ethics should be taught at home by giving responsibilities with chores around the home. What are your thoughts on the needed life skills before college? Please share!